funny march

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IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THIS AND YOU’RE ANY MUSIC CLASS, WATCH IT I HAVEN’T LAUGHED SO HARD IN MONTHS. IF YOU’RE IN BAND, ORCHESTRA OR CHOIR WATCH THIS MASTERPIECE.

Important Dates for the Signs in March - 2017

Z O D I A C G U I D E  / /  I G

Aries: 9, 11, 26

Taurus: 8, 18, 28

Gemini: 16, 19, 24

Cancer: 5, 16, 23

Leo: 18, 25, 27

Virgo: 4, 14, 29

Libra: 3, 13, 23

Scorpio: 5, 16, 31

Sagittarius: 4, 12, 25

Capricorn: 4, 15, 29

Aquarius: 2, 14, 24

Pisces: 5, 14, 25

DRAGON CRY

Hoops

“Hey, you know how long you’ll be shooting hoops on this court?”

“Until I lose.”

“But you’re not playing anyone.”

“Then I guess I won’t lose.”

“Thing is, me and a couple of guys were hoping to play.”

“Guess you’ll just have to make out instead.”

“…I don’t think that’s what we have to do.”

“Well I’m using the court, so what else can you do?”

“We can just like go home and play some other time.”

“Go home and make out together, you mean.”

“The other option isn’t always making out, dude. What happens when you try to see a movie and get told it’s sold out? Do you go make out with your friends?”

“Hell no!”

“See-”

“I make out with one of the cardboard cutouts they have in the theater lobby. I got to 2nd base with Morgan Freeman once.”

“Wow. Really? What movie had a cutout of him?”

“March of the Penguins.”

“What the hell? He wasn’t even in that. Just his voice.”

“The cutout was of his voice.”

“Oh…was…was it hot?”

“As fuck.”

“Damn. Hey, how about this? We’ll let you play in our game so we can all use the court?”

“Fine, but losers have to make out.”

“Who do they have to make out with?”

“Winners. ;-)”

“How’d you just speak an emoticon?!”

“Make out with Morgan Freeman’s voice enough and you learn a whole bunch of tricks. ;-)”

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“You don’t choose the Chologuard life, the Chologuard life chooses you.”