funny literary

Things that the ADA do that they probably shouldn’t do:

Kunikida: Insisting to keep his schedule regardless of the fact that Dazai has already ruined it.

Yosano: Secretly slicing the members of the ADA a bit more than she needed to because she was having too much fun ‘healing’ them.

Junichiro: Naomi.

Naomi: Junichiro.

Haruno: Bringing her cat to work when Fukuzawa is around.

Fukuzawa: Telling the members of the ADA to drop everything they’re doing no matter how important just because he wanted to pet a cat.

Atsushi: The worst thing this kid has done is probably type his password in first before his username.

Kenji: This sweet roll can’t do anything wrong… I think.

Dazai: EVERYTHING HE DOES IS A SIN.

Ranpo: Fighting potential cavities by eating things which give you cavities. Because you should fight fire with fire right?

Kyouka: Being her. This bunny is so cute she’s unhealthy for the members of the ADA.

youtube

This video is a godsend

shit literary studies students say:

“Deadlines are a social construct”

“I almost got run over by a car today because I didn’t stop reading while crossing the street.”

“Mephisto, the bae”

“I’m going to call my cat Furrcault”

“[Insert Author] is my problematic fave”

“I want to go shopping with Oscar Wilde”

"Allen Ginsberg is my spirit animal”

“I won’t be able to finish the books I have to read for [insert semminar] because I spend too much time re-reading Harry Potter”

“Sorry I wasn’t paying attention I have to finish this novel by tomorrow”

“I’d fuck William Burroughs”

”[Insert Queer Author] is one of ours”

“Victor Frankenstein is a gay emo teen”

The best literary device you probably don't know about.

So a Malaphor is when you combine two common sayings (also known as an idiom or aphorism), or mess one up, and create a new phrase. Some of my faves are:
“Oh how the tables have tabled.”
“We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”
“That’s no shirt off my nose.”
“When a door windows, an opportunity closes.”
“Pobody’s nerfect.”
“Barking up the wrong alley.”
“Hitting the nail on the thumb.”
“Kill two eggs with one basket.”
“A pen is louder than words.”

literary critic: thomas harris’s murderers are soooo unrealistic!

crime journalist: as you can see these cases are the ones that harris was referencing in his novels, you can see the historical elements mentioned here, here and here, and the interesting shit specific to the sicilian crime families in tuscany at this time

ok can i just please be….more like hannah and marcelle from witch please. how do i achieve that level of cool