funny kpop quotes

  • Jungkook: *holds the door open for Yugyeom* After you.
  • Yugyeom: No, after you.
  • Jungkook: No, you.
  • Yugyeom: I insist, after you.
  • Yoongi: *pushes past both of them* After me.
  • Wonwoo: For the 100th time, Mingyu and I are just friends.
  • Woozi: *sneezes*
  • Woozi: Sorry I’m allergic to bullshit.

Taeyong: Do you like Mark?

Haechan: The one from NCT Dream? The one from NCT 127? The one from NCT U? The one from SMrookies? The one from Highschool Rapper? The one in the foreign swagger squad? The one that featured on Henry’s song? My roommate Mark? Canadian Mark? Asian Draco Malfoy?

Taeyong:… All of the above ???

Haechan: no but Got7’s Mark seems cool

EXO as things I've heard on the bus
  • Suho: With great power comes an even greater electricity bill.
  • Baekhyun: A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.
  • Chanyeol: Wherever you go, there you are.
  • D.O: I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car.
  • Kai: I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!
  • Sehun: Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  • Xiumin: Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant... So chocolate is a salad.
  • Lay: A day without sunshine is, like night.
  • Chen: You know you’re stupid when you wake someone up by asking if they’re asleep.
Minghao (The8) at some point:
  • The8: i'm having salad for dinner.
  • The8: well, fruit salad.
  • The8: actually, it's mostly grapes.
  • The8: okay, it's all grapes.
  • The8: fermented grapes.
  • The8:
  • The8: it's wine.
  • The8: i'm having wine for dinner.

Taeyong: Do you like Mark?

Donghyuck: You mean the weird Canadian kid? The short one with ramen hair? Johnny 2.0 when he straightens it? Has a cute little laugh that helps the sun shine?

Taeyong: yes

Donghyuck: sorry don’t know him

  • [Yixing is singing loudly in the shower]
  • Kyungsoo [through the bathroom door]: Will you quit singing?
  • Yixing: What?
  • Kyungsoo: QUIT SINGING. RIGHT NOW IS DISTURBING.
  • Yixing: DUDE.
  • Yixing: WHEN I'M IN THE SHOWER, TWO THINGS GET TO BE FREE.
  • Yixing: MY BALLS.
  • Yixing: AND MY SOUL.
  • chanyeol: sometimes i feel like dying
  • baekhyun: wha-?
  • chanyeol: but then i remembered that i won't see you again if i die
  • baekhyun: *blushes*
  • -
  • suho: sometimes i feel like dying
  • kyungsoo: good for you