funny in a hilarious way

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OK, so, here’s the thing about Hail, Caesar!

I love this movie. I love this movie so, SO much more than I probably should. But I do. And reading reviews, wow did everybody else seem to see a completely different picture that I did. They talk about meandering plots and character cameos and how it’s a movie about faith, but they don’t seem to get it. They think it’s a wacky, sardonic comedy that doesn’t quite do what they think it’s supposed to do. But well… they’re wrong.

Hail, Caesar! is a caper. It’s set in a styalised, hilarious version of the tail end of the Golden Age of Hollywood, and it’s hilariously funny in ways you have to see to believe. 

Bu even ast it’s an entertaining caper, what it is to me is the story of a man who is trying to make a decision that would be smarter, healthier, and better for him in the long run in every single way–except the truth is that he utterly and completely thrives on the chaos of making movies. And so he has to choose between what looks amazing on paper, versus what feeds his soul. He has to choose what should make him happy, over what does make him happy.

Um… I may over-identify with Eddie Mannix.

Also, at no point is the entire mirror narrative of Hobie Doyle not perfect in every single way, and if anyone says differently so help me I will fight everyone in this bar. Because while Eddie 100% sincerely believes in Capitol Pictures with the kind of belief normally reserved for religions, Hobie doesn’t take any of that stuff seriously at all. Because he’s a real person with a solid sense of self who knows he lucked out and that’s about it. And Hobie Doyle may not know what to do in a Noel Coward drawing room, but straight up knows exactly what to do when it comes to people. Because he pays attention and he effortlessly understands people. 

There’s just this AMAZING moment when for no reason at all, Eddie tells Hobie something he really probably shouldn’t ought to have, out of a sincere moment of “wtf do I do?” and THE ENTIRE MOVIE TURNS ON THIS MOMENT in ways I can’t describe. But let’s just say that every time I say “Hobie Doyle has seen things. Hobie Doyle has seen some shit.” it’s for a real solid reason.

4

joshua birthday countdown: d-13

sh!t josh says (in english) [ cr. 1 / 2 / 3 ]

Inktoberwatch day 25, favorite legendary skin

Clark’s Niece - Part 4

Sorry this took so long! So there isn’t much Damian x reader fluff in this one, it’s mainly the aftermath of their fight.

———-

You leave Gotham before anyone can talk to you, and you fly straight to Conner’s apartment. Most of the time you stay with your Grandparents, but right now you just need to be with your cousin.

“Y/N?”

“Hey, Kon. Am I interrupting something?”

Conner yaws, scratching his stomach, “Nah, I just woke up. Want some breakfast?”

Nodding, you land on his windowsill, and climb into the apartment, “Can we have pancakes?”

“Sure, Y/N” He glances back at you, “Is everything alright? I thought you were going to be in Gotham all weekend.”

You groan, flopping on Kon’s couch and burying your face in a pillow. He sits down next to you, gently removing the pillow from your face, “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Do I have to?”

“Considering I just got a text from Jason asking where you are, yes.”

You nod and tell him what happened he previous night. By the time you finish Kon’s eyes are red, and he looks like he’s ready to fly to Gotham.

“Kon, it’s okay, you need to calm down.”

He rolls his eyes, “I am calm, kid. Now, I’m going to make us pancakes, and call Clark. I’d rather he finds out from me, than from Batman”

“Does he have to know? I don’t want to think about him anymore, alright?”

“Don’t worry, kid. You don’t have to worry about the Bats anymore.” Conner ran his fingers through your hair gently, before he stood up. You really loved how understanding Kon could be.

It’s been about a week, and you have managed to avoid almost everyone. Kon told you about the huge fight between Superman and Batman up in the Watchtower, and how Robin hadn’t stopped asking about you. Your goal had been to stay away from everyone until just the thought of Damian didn’t hurt anymore, but of course the world never seemed to work in your favor.

“Supergirl, come in, Supergirl”

“Supergirl here, what’s the situation?”

“You are needed at the Watchtower for debrief. We have a mission for you and Superboy.”

“Of course, Batman. We’ll be there soon”

You whip around, only to find Kon already dressed and holding out your costume. Kon had changed his original outfit into just jeans and a shirt, so you had decided to steal it. Your costume looked like a female version of Connor’s old costume.

“You know, it’s a lot easier to just change into jeans. You should totally make the switch, kid”

“And look like you? No thanks. Plus, I make the leather jacket look better than you ever did” Your hair quickly goes up into a ponytail, and then you slip on the knee-high black boot. “Ready?”

Kon is floating upside down, looking bored, “I’ve been ready, but you still had to get dressed”

“I don’t like getting dressed at superspeed, I might put my shirt on backwards, like you did”

Connor whips around, and quickly flips his shirt so it’s on the right way, “Not funny”

“Oh it was hilarious, now let’s go”

You arrive at the Watchtower about 2 minutes later, you and Kon had raced.

“Superboy, Supergirl. Thank you for joining us”

“What mission did you have for us?”

“Lex Luthor has captured Superman, using Kryptonite, and has refused to give a location unless we bring the two of you to him.”

You glance over at Kon, “You do know that Lex Luthor is the other half of my DNA, and he’s the one who found Supergirl”

Batman sighed, “I am aware of these facts, and considering how he was ranting about having hi child kept from him, I assume that he is doing this, because he is angry and Superman for keeping the to of you from him”

“I talked on the phone with Uncle Lex two days ago. He asked me to come visit him, but I told him that Uncle Clark wouldn’t let me, not after his last attempt at world domination”

Flash lets out a groan, “This is seriously a family dispute? Why can’t supervillains just talk things out!! There was no need to pull out the Kryptonite! I mean that stuff could just hurt you two”

“Yeah, but I’m betting Dad will leave all of the Kryptonite with Mercy once we get there. Plus he probably has Clark under a red sun lamp at this point. The last time he really hurt Clark with Kryptonite it made Y/N cry, he promised he wouldn’t do it again”

“Do you think you can convince Lex to let Superman out?”

You shrug your shoulders, “Hopefully. We can try”

“You’ll need backup. Robin will go with you” Batman gestured for the younger man to stand up.

Kon stepped forward, getting between you and Damian, “We don’t need backup, we have each other” he growled.

“Yes, and you both can be taken out by Kryptonite, something that Robin has no weakness to”

“Superboy, it’s fine. Let’s just go see Uncle Lex, and then we can go back to your apartment”

“Supergirl, I would like to speak to you before you leave” Batman called out. He turned and walked out of the room, leaving you to follow,

“What is it, B?”

“Why haven’t you been to the Manor?”

You sigh, “You know why. I know that Damian told you”

“Yes, but I want to hear it from you.” Bruce crossed his arms, waiting for you to answer

“He was with three other girls, B. I had thought … well, it doesn’t really matter what I thought, but it hurt to see Damian like that” You lock eyes with Bruce, “To see him use some stupid playboy persona, like you do. I loved him, but I won’t sit around while he becomes you, Bruce. That’s not something I have to heart to watch” You sniffle, straightening your back, “I have to go. Robin is staying here. Superboy and I will handle this”

With that you’re gone, zooming through the Watchtower and straight out the airlock Kon will meet you at LexCorp, you know that he was eavesdropping anyway.

Mercy is the one to meet you and Kon on the roof. She quickly brings you down the stairs and into Lex’s office.

“It’s about time you two arrived. Clark has been waiting for his rescue”

You roll your eyes, “Come on Uncle Lex, let him go, and then we can go out to dinner or something”

“Yeah Dad, don’t be an asshole. I know Clark can be annoying, but Kryptonite hurts”

Lex rolls his eyes, but he stand up from behind his desk, “Very well, since you both asked so nicely. Let’s go let Clark free. I’m sure that if we leave him on the roof his little friends will be able to pick him up.”

Your head shoots up when you hear a noise from the roof, at the same time several alarms start going off and Mercy takes off running. You recognize the heartbeat, it’s Damian.

“Mercy no!!”

You and Kon sprint after her, making it to the rooftop only seconds before her. “Robin!” You shout, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to protect you!! You just take off, flying strait to your uncles arch-nemesis’ home, where he has hundreds of pounds of Kryptonite! Which is one of the few things that can hurt you!” Damian is practically scream now, “What did you expect me to do?!? Let you put yourself in danger like that?! You might hate me, but I would never let you get hurt!”

“I don’t hate you” You mumble, shifting until you are slightly behind Kon.

“If you didn’t hate me, they you wouldn’t be avoiding me. If I never see you, how am I supposed to apologize.”

“Well, isn’t this interesting” Lex drawled, walking until he can put a hand on your shoulder, “I do believe that Superman told me all about your little argument with Supergirl, Robin, and I don’t really appreciate you landing on my rooftop and harassing my niece” with a flick of his fingers Mercy raises her gun. “Now I suggest you leave before I order Mercy to pull the trigger”

Your eyes widen, you might be angry at Damian, but you don’t want him to die, “Uncle Lex, please don’t …”

“Hush child, there’s no need for you to worry. I’ve heard that the Bats are a relatively smart group of individuals.”

“Dad …”

“I said hush, Conner. I’m having a conversation with Robin right now. It’s very rude to interrupt conversations.”

Lex turns back to Damian, who still hasn’t moved, “What will it be? Should Mercy shoot you, or are you going to leave? She has Kryptonite laced bullets you know, so if either Superboy or Supergirl decided to try and save you, they would only end up hurt. The liquid Kryptonite would seep into their blood, killing them without a transfusion”

Damian is starting to look nervous. He doesn’t want to leave you, but he also doesn’t want to get shot, or risk you getting shot. “Just let him go, Uncle Lex. Come one, lets everyone go back inside.”

“I don’t think so, Y/N. He hurt you, so he deserves to hurt. It’s only fair. Mercy … shoot him”

The sound of the gunshot is deafening, your scream even more so. You shoot forward, in a desperate attempt to beat the bullet. For one, you’re afraid that you might not be fast enough to save the one person who you know that you can’t live without. Racing a Kryptonite infused bullet is almost painful, you can feel yourself get weaker the closer you get to it, but you keep pushing. Damian won’t die, not on your watch. You push yourself to go faster, will you make it? Or will you be forced to watch your best friend die?

  • McGonagall to the Marauders: Why is it, whenever something happens, it is always you four?
  • McGonagall to the Marauders and Lily once James and Lily start dating: Why is it, whenever something happens, it is always you five?
  • McGonagall to Harry, Ron and Hermione: Why is it, whenever something happens, it is always you three?
  • McGonagall to Next-Gen: Why is it, whenever something happens, it is always you ...
  • *muffled sound of McGonagall counting number of redheads (plus those two damn messy black haired Potters) in front of her*
  • Oh I give up. That's it. I'm retiring.

Things that make me cry:

The “trust me” in I’m Not Okay
The way Gerard says “Bella Muerte”
The way Gerard says “all together now” in Teenagers
The way Gerard says “aw sugar”
Anything Gerard says
The Kids From Yesterday
Any My Chemical Romance song