a new-ish hockey fan: makes a funny post about hockey, exaggerating for comedic effect.
a Real™ Hockey Fan: Wow. Wow. This is the most offensive thing I’ve ever laid eyes on in all my years. I don’t even have time to explain how wrong you are. Did you learn all that from Check, Please? Can you name any player other than Snidney Crosbey? I’ll have you know I have been following Hockey from the Womb and I will not stand for a blight upon the the sanctity of this sport… [10,000 word essay about why bandwagon fans are Ruining hockey].
I met ebs a few months ago and some guy was asking him questions and he asked him what his favorite cartoon character is and he said he can’t watch cartoons because hallsy is afraid of them and I almost fell off my chair
So on Tuesday I somehow ended up clubbing with the HABS
Basically, I went to the Bell Center to watch the Habs game against Bruins (which they lost 4-1 🙄) and I spot my high school friend sitting front row! So I fb msg him and he’s like: YO come to Joverse after the game, I’m going out with Alex Galchenyuk, he’s my buddy and PK Subban os coming with us too… So I go; me and Gally end up chatting in Russian all night, he keeps saying how his last name is of Ukrainian origin and that I’m awesome because I’m actually born in Ukraine. He was acting like a 16 year old boy clubbing for the first time, drinking straight vodka, glass after glass. Also flirting his ass off with me, touching my face, hugging me, etc. (NOW I HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHOM I LOVE VERY MUCH SO I DID NOT RECIPROCATE WHAT SO EVER) Now, Subban arrives with his agent, dressed like a fucking PIMP. Wearing a fur coat and a hat, acting all “I’m rich and famous bow to me bitches”. He was a total prick basically. Anyhow, then @h-long paid me a cab to his place cause I was getting a little too drunk to continue thinking logically and not hook up with this hot ass hockey player flirting with me lmao.