funny christmas gift

Thoughtful Gifts for the Signs—Just in Time for the Holidays!
  • Aries: a tray of ice for them to chill the hell out
  • Taurus: a pair of heelies because they always take too long to do ANYTHING EVER and because swag
  • Gemini: a gag to shut them up for once (and they also like that shit if u know what i mean)
  • Cancer: a metal saw so that u can detach their claws from ur body and finally have some alone time
  • Leo: a clear mirror that only looks outward because these bitches need to see something other than their own reflection
  • Virgo: a mismatched pair of socks lol
  • Libra: a rug so that they can passive aggressively tell ppl to walk all over that instead
  • Scorpio: a Holy Bible because we all know they need Jesus
  • Sagittarius: a prison sentence. they'll probably be safer from their own bad decisions if they're locked up anyway
  • Capricorn: a lamp so that they can lighten the fuck up
  • Aquarius: a heart transplant because idk i just think they might be needing one???
  • Pisces: a face sponge to help soak up all them tears