funny authors

My brother’s friend was talking about his crazy dog and I jokingly told him to do the dog’s natal chart and he literally deer in the headlights face nodded “oh, yeah” and and started to get out his phone to hit up cafe astrology in the middle of this 21st birthday party and I can’t stop thinking about it

My socks are up high.
My Nike’s are sick.
I gotta question for you babe:
u got kik?

You shower without me.
You won’t send me nudes.
I thought you were pretty,
But you’re actually very rude.

I blare my music.
I check out your butt.
Please send nudes.
haha and then what? :)

—  Jared Grumney // Straight Boys