I think “Reggae Christmas” by Bryan Adams (aka the whitest man alive) is probably the funniest Christmas song I’ve ever heard. Funnier than Christmas At Ground Zero by Weird Al, or Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.
I don’t even know the lyrics, except for the hook; just the fucking CONCEPT of Bryan Adams singing about “Havin’ a Reggae Christmas” cracks me up.
(I mean, I like a lot of Bryan Adams’ stuff, and consider myself a fan–his music was a big part
of my 80s soundtrack when I lived in Germany, and my band there even
covered a couple of his songs, so I’ll always have a sentimental attachment–but damn…)
To be fair, I think it was SUPPOSED to be kinda funny. He DOES make references (upon further listening) to being Canadian and wanting to go to Jamaica, where he’s never been, but where he (if I understand correctly) has long-distance friends.
you’re very close to the boys of 5sos, you were very excited when you
heard that they are spending Christmas back home in Australia. You
had nothing planned exactly but made clear that you all have to spend
at least one day together to celebrate Christmas, even if it wasn’t
really Christmas yet.
knocks on your door, early in the morning and you think it’s just
your mum. “5 more minutes.” You groan into your pillow and roll
onto your stomach.
more minutes and there won’t be any cookies left.” Calum laughs.
You immediately open your eyes and sit up straight to look at him. He
comes over to you, wearing a Christmas jumper and opens his arms. You
get out of bed and run into him to hug him. It has been a while since
you last saw him since he and other boys were touring.
I get a hug as well?” You then heard Luke. You pulled away from
Calum and hugged Luke next. Afterwards, they waited outside your
room, while you quickly changed to a christmas onesie, before you
follow them downstairs. In the living room, Ashton and Michael are
fighting over who gets to hug your first.
you can hug me at the same time.” You laugh. Ashton and Michael
exchange glaces before they both run over to you and hug you. You
nearly fall, but they hold you up.
I told you that I’m first!!” Michael yells.
I told you that I don’t care!” Ashton yells as you just laugh. It’s
just like you had imagined it to be and you love every second of it.
They boys are like brothers that fight over everything, making you
laugh all the time.
spend the whole day together, baking cookies, because Michael ate all
of the other ones, and talking, singing and opening presents. It’s
the funniest and best christmas you ever had.
So for Christmas 2013, my family and I went back to the UK and stayed with my Grandparents. My brother received this reindeer softy toy that sang jingle bells when you shook it. However, it didn’t just go off when you shook it. If you went NEAR the thing it started blasting out jingle bells in an Alvin and the Chipmunks singing voice. That thing was unreasonably loud and we all grew to hate it except my brother, who insisted he wanted to keep it. He took it to the airport it his hand luggage and wrapped it in a few towels in hope it wouldn’t start singing. It didn’t work. If we nudged the thing then it would sing and people would look at us weirdly. We went through security and everything getting curious looks. It was quite embarrassing. We got to the point where your sat still, waiting for the gates to open, and my mum and dad went to get food. My brother and I were watching the bags and enjoying the silence. Because it was Christmas, it was really crowded, and my brother’s hand luggage was in the way of people. We didn’t want to move it because both of us are self conscious as fuck, so we just left it and got dirty looks as people stepped over it. One guy, kind of grumpy looking, goes to kick the bag. Me and my brother both screech “DON’T KICK IT IT’LL GO OFF!!” in a really crowded Manchester airport. Everyone stared at us, terrified. We got scared looks for the entire plane journey. Im surprised we weren’t dragged away
“One of my funniest memories from Christmas was one year, when I went through my Christmas stockings, there was this thing; it said um…like I was five…and it said, it had a santa face on it, it said ‘coal’ I thought it said 'candy’”