anonymous asked:

Running hug? Lol, I have no idea what that's supposed to be but it just gave me two of the funniest mental images. 1: Lance sprinting through the castle trying to hug everyone as fast as he can for some reason. This nearly puts them all into healing pods as a result because he doesn't actually slow down at any point. The second half of this isn't going to fit so I'll have to make another ask for part 2.

Haha, I meant, like, the hug in the movies where the two people run at each other across a wheat field or whatever and fling themselves into each other’s arms, but this was actually way more fun.  Thanks for requesting it!

Lance found Hunk first, which was good, because when he barreled into his best friend, Hunk hugged him back and didn’t seem too concerned when Lance let go and raced off again.

Shiro was equally willing to be hugged, wrapping his arms bewilderedly around Lance before he could back away and run on to his next teammate.  "What’s that for?“ he asked, sounding bemused.

"I’ll explain later!” Lance declared, running off again.  Two down.  

He slammed into Keith two corridors later, almost knocking both of them over.  Keith squawked, offended, and tried to squirm out of Lance’s grasp.  "What are you doing?“

"Later!” Lance said, letting him go and taking off again.  Three.  Out of four?  Six?  Seven?  Lance suddenly realized he hadn’t asked who, exactly, he was supposed to be hugging, but he figured it was better to err on the side of caution.

Pidge would be in her hangar, but everyone else would be on the bridge, so he went there first, pushing his legs to run faster.  Why was the castle so big?  Usually it was good having a little room to split up so they weren’t all on top of each other, but as his lungs started burning, it seemed a little excessive.

When he burst onto the bridge, he went for Coran first.  As he’d half expected, Coran caught him without questioning it, squeezing him back.  "What’s wrong, Number 2?“

"Nothing!”  Lance said, extricating himself and jogging more casually over toward Allura “I just have to hug everyone in the castle within the next four minutes, is all.”

Allura let him hug her, patting him awkwardly on the back.  "What?  Why?  What are you talking about?“

He shrugged her off, running up to Kolivan, who glowered at him so hard that Lance couldn’t bring himself to give him a real hug and settled for an awkward side hug instead, dashing away as fast as he could so that he could both get to Pidge and avoid any retaliation from the enormous Galra.

"I’ll explain later!”

It was a relief to be out of the room, and an even bigger relief to only have one more friend to rescue.  He wished he could take Pidge’s zipline to her hangar, but he suspected the Castle wouldn’t let him and raced down the long way instead, running until he had a stitch in his side.

When he burst into the hangar, Pidge looked up, surprised, from where she was sitting on the floor working on something.  Lance dashed toward her and dove forward, sliding the last few feet on his knees while Pidge’s eyes widened and her hands came up to stop him.  He managed to get his arms around her anyway, knocking them both over into a pile of limbs on the floor.

“What the heck, Lance?” she asked disgruntledly, half squashed under him, “Get off!”

He pushed himself off the tiniest paladin, and righted himself, taking a deep breath in relief.  "Sorry.  Slav said I had to hug everyone in the castle in the next 10 minutes or the likelihood of all of us dying in a horrible accident went up by, like, 60%.  That’s more than half!“

"Lance, Slav is crazy,” Pidge grumbled, sitting up.  "You could have broken my new BLIP tech sensor!“

"Yeah, but he’s also a genius, so-”

“A crazy genius.  Did he even tell you why you had to hug us?  What could possibly have gone wrong that a hug would prevent?”

“That’s … actually a good question.”

“So why don’t you go ask him, and get out of my lab?”

Lance snorted.  "Yeah, fine.  I didn’t want to be in your crummy lab anyway.   I was just trying to save your life.  It’s not a big deal or anything.“

Pidge rolled her eyes, but Lance didn’t want to make a whole fight out of it, so he stormed off instead.

He hadn’t gone far in the other direction before Slav whipped around a corner and flung all eight of his arms around Lance.  "You forgot to hug me!” he exclaimed “That was almost a disaster!”

Lance wrapped his arms around Slav in return, heart skipping a beat.  "Oh no!  Did we make it in time?“

Slav thought for a minute, still clinging to the front of Lance’s armor.  "Yes, I think so.”

Lance sighed in relief again.  "Good.  Why’d I have to do that, anyway?“

"You’re blue!” Slav explained, staring intently at the blue V in front of his face, “Blue has a frequency of 606-668 terahertz!  Very protective frequency range.  Cancels out the waves of negative thoughts.”

“Wait - negative thoughts?”  Lance’s face fell.

“Yes.  I had been caught in a web of fear.  Shiro says I should not get caught up in fear, and I think he is right.  Makes too much negative energy.  Needs 606 terahertz to cancel it out.”

Lance groaned.

“Do not worry, Blue Paladin,” Slav said.  "You should only have to hug everyone a few times a week to keep them safe.  Maybe once a day if there are a lot of dangers for me to think about.“

Suddenly, "explaining later” seemed like a much harder task than it had before.  Maybe he should just walk around the castle with Slav attached to his front and let Slav explain instead.  The alien showed no sign of letting go any time soon, anyway.

anonymous asked:

Scenario with Revali, please? s/o comes home and Revali’s just like: *lays on table* Hey there, cutie. Have yo– *table breaks* fuck–!

Quality content–

If anyone makes an idea that makes me laugh more than this did there will be a reward but this is the #1 funniest scenario I’ve been looking forward to this-

Hope you don’t mind if I change up the dialouge a bit though

eck i feel like I didn’t do this justice at all

They’ve just had an exhausting, work-filled day, and nothing else is on their mind but getting home and getting some rest. They’re even tempted to just skip dinner straight up just for extra sleep.

But then they remember the fact that they’re dating Revali, and that hope goes away.

He always does something ridiculous. It’s a different thing every day, and it’s a wonder that he has so much time on his hands to be able to do so much, much less have so many ideas.

They just hope that today’s won’t be too destructive, compared to yesterday.

They don’t ever want to talk about it again.

They drag themselves up the stairs in the sleepy Rito Village and walk through their door, only to immediately stop and stare in confused horror at the sight in front of them.

Revali is on the table, in some kind of pose, as if he was expecting them.

“Hey there, cutie,” he has this psuedo-flirty tone to his voice, “Come here ofte-fuck-!!” the table creaks and bends under his weight, completely snapping in half and sending him tumbling onto the floor.

They feel their soul physically leave their body. It had enough of this-enough of today, nope, bye, see you tomorrow, you’re on your own.

Revali is still on the ground, staring at them, at their lifeless expression that is twitching into an unstable smile, and honestly he’s starting to fear for his life.

“…You’re paying for that, right?” they ask, holding that same expression.

“Um, yeah…?”

A swath of silence falls over them, and then they’re on their knees, howling with laughter and holding their stomach for dear life, because sweet Hylia their Rito boy is such a mess, but by the goddesses, they love him so much.

Even if he does stress them out, at least it takes everything else away.

anonymous asked:

If the shadowman said "please you must help me only together can we prevent the destruction of your world" to the 1.0 characters how would they react

Dempsey [1.0]: “What the fuck? Sounds like some serious bullshit to me.”

Richtofen [1.0]: “But… I’m zhe vone going zo be responsible for ze destruction of zhis vorld.” 

Takeo [1.0]: *vomits*

Nikolai [1.0]: “Bring me vodka and then.. no that’s it, bring Nikolai vodka.” 

nearina  asked:

(1)Funniest thing about TG fandom: Everytime something happens in the manga (from fights to X character going to the bathroom) they scream "this was foreshadowed" and proceed to make 12454353 post about the so supposed foreshadow and simbolism, but they couldn't predict that thing was going to happen beforehand (isn't this how foreshadowing is supposed to work? You suspect that something might happen before it actually happens, like the Two Ciel Theory in Kuroshitsuji), so...

Lmao but their meta has dried up.

They could do that shit when ishida was sort of planning his steps.

Now he’s off the fucking rails. I don’t ever seen Tokyo ghoul meta anymore, not unless it’s some bullshit fan making some bullshit up about how Touka’s eyes are shaped like almonds which is Kaneki’s favorite food and represents the deep consuming love he has for her.

And it’s beautiful honestly, to watch a fandom fall.

Just the way I predicted it would.

Just let me say this.

I predicted the manga would:

-decrease horribly in story quality into fighting arcs and painfully extended FIGHTING arcs

-rely entirely on fucking soap opera drama. which it has. Two women are now fighting over Kaneki’s dick. how nice, ishida, what an original story about ghouls you’ve got here.


-I mean. Have fanservice shots of women’s asses and breasts and having the sexually liberated women killed and the virginal sweet women get to live to be impregnated.

-rely on sex and ship fodder to get sales back up.

And I was right, per usual.

Once again I saw what the fandom refused to and now still refuses to.

Fandom is a game I’m constantly winning that no one wants to acknowledge me for.

It’s fine.

I play it for fun, not for recognition.

When Tokyo ghoul ends with Touka pregnant or taking care of Kaneki’s children with Kaneki angstily dead and “martyred” by whatever bullshit fight he died in, probably to furuta’s bitch ass, you’ll probably call it beautiful.

I’ll call it…predicted.
BuzzFeed | 11 Things You Never Knew About The "Outlander" Cast
By Sheridan Watson

Fans of Outlander might say their favorite thing about the show are the clothes, the dialogue, perhaps the jaw-dropping scenery. But at the heart of Outlander are the relationships between the three leads Caitriona Balfe (as Claire Randall Fraser), Sam Heughan (as Jamie Fraser), and Tobias Menzies, who pulls double duty as dutiful husband Frank and horrible dude Black Jack Jonathan Randall.

Since Outlander has one of the best casts on television, we just had to play a little game of cast superlatives with the stars. Who’s the most like their character in real life? Who’s the funniest? Find out!

1. Who’s the funniest cast member?

Caitriona Balfe: Duncan [Lacroix, who plays Murtagh Fraser].
Sam Heughan: Duncan is an absolute animal.
Tobias Menzies: I guess I do spend quite a lot of my time trying to make people laugh. If you don’t know who it is they say it’s you, isn’t it?

2. Who is the brainiac of the cast?

CB: Oh we’ve got quite a few actually. Tobias is up there, Graham [McTavish, who plays Dougal MacKenzie], Duncan. There’s some smart people. Simon Callow [who plays the Duke of Sandringham], oh my God, that’s a brainiac.
SH: Tobias is very intelligent or at least he comes across as very intelligent. I think it’s his accent.
TM: You know who’d be deceptive actually is Duncan Lacroix who plays Murtagh. He’s got a bit about him.

3. Who is most likely to be found eating all day?

CB: Sam or Graham — actually between the two.
SH: Graham McTavish does not stop eating.

4. Who is most likely to be caught reading a book in between scenes?

CB: Duncan or Graham.
SH: Caitriona Balfe!
TM: Cat’s a bit of a reader, I’m a bit of a reader.

5. Who is most likely to be caught texting or taking a selfie?

CB: Sam, for sure.
TM: Who would that be? Probably some of the younger actors. I’m definitely a luddite so it’d never be me so some of the youngsters.

6. Who would suffer the most in the 1740s?

CB: Me.
SH: I’m not sure Caitriona would do that well to be honest. I think she’d hate it.
TM: I think Graham. Yeah, he likes his creature comforts.

7. Who of the cast would thrive the most in the 1740s?

CB: Sam.
SH: I’m gonna say me. I think I’d be pretty resourceful. I think I’d alright for about a day and then I’d probably die.
TM: That’s a good question. I think it’d be a tie between Duncan and Sam. Duncan would do well actually, I remember when we were prepping, he did a few days of walking in the highlands, getting a good sense of what it would be like.

8. Who has the best manners?

CB: I’ll say Tobias.
SH: Caitriona.
TM: That would be Sam. Actually he’s a true gent.

9. Who has the worst manners?

CB: Grant [O’Rourke, who plays Rupert MacKenzie].
SH: Probably Duncan.
TM: Me, probably. Brought up in a field.

10. Who is least like their character in real life?

CB: Tobias.
SH: Graham. One moment he’ll be talking about acting or something and drinking a coffee and the next minute he’s like the gruffest, toughest, scariest Scotsman you’ve ever met.
TM: I think I’m quite like Frank but not so much like Black Jack.

11. Who is most like their character in real life?

CB: Sam, I suppose!
SH: It’s funny actually, no one really is their character. Everyone is definitely playing someone different. But I guess Duncan is the most method of anyone.
TM: I think we all have similarities to them and I think we’ve probably become more attached and associated with them as we’ve gone along. But I think Sam quite effortlessly has a sort of natural kind of chivalrous dignity about him as a person.

Relive 9 of Birthday Girl Tina Fey's Funniest Moments

Happy birthday, Tina Fey! The hilarious writer and actress turns 47 today, and to celebrate, we’re reliving nine times that she had us laughing out loud. The comedian started her career at Saturday Night Live before writing the iconic screenplay for the 2004 hit, Mean Girls. Moving on to write and star in the long-lasting comedy 30 Rock and the Netflix series, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Fey has written some of TV’s funniest comedies.

Her career continues to be on the rise in Hollywood. In 2015, she starred in the hit Sisters with her friend Amy Poehler, and portrayed a journalist covering the war in Afghanistan in this year’s Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. But perhaps her funniest moments have come when she’s turned the tables on Hollywood by hosting and roasting at the Golden Globes with Poehler as one incredible comedy duo.

In honor of her birthday, celebrate by taking a look back at some of her funniest moments.

1. When she did the perfect Sarah Palin impression and coined a famous line: “I can see Russia from my house.”

2. When she came back to host SNL and did perhaps the best “Weekend Update” yet.

RELATED: Tina Fey’s Changing Looks

3. When she delivered this hilarious girl power monologue as Ms. Norbury in Mean Girls (and co-wrote the script!).

4. When she parodied “Bad Blood” on Saturday Night Live with Poehler.

5. When the “work wives” showed off their secret language.

6. When she roasted George Clooney at the 2015 Golden Globes as host.

7. When she whipped and nae nae-ed as Kimmy’s drunk therapist on her Netflix series, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

8. When she was hilarious in the 2015 hit Sisters as the family’s resident wild child.

9. When her spot-on impression of her daughter proved she could truly do anything.

okay so i did promise i would celebrate this milestone with a bang & so let’s begin the firework display!!! :) honestly though, i can’t believe what a year 2016 has been. so much has happened in the world, and to me in my own life. but really, the highlight (& this might sound lame but idc) is this site - during this year, i have met some people on here who i would probably give my life for. i have been allowed to just be me, weird and awkward, terrible and affectionate, over the top and silly, and somehow i have been loved for being this person. i’ve literally never felt that from a collective group of people before so… thank you. you will probably never understand how touched my soul is by this whole experience.

now, let’s cut to the chase. to celebrate this wonderful incredible achievement, i am hosting my first ever tumblr awards !!!!

more info under the cut

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