funky cake

3

i don’t wanna be…a merderer….

anonymous asked:

You're dead right about those cupcakes being prooomooo. Idk how closely you follow Andy, but the Fat Feeder (chick that made the cakes) is his alleged girlfriend's sister. And said girlfriend is good friends with Sophia. So it's all around promo for everyone. And why are there baby cupcakes at a lady-lad bro party anyway? Ugh free Liam from this madness!

I don’t follow Andy closely but no surprise at what he’s doing. I do think Andy is the real deal in terms of 1D friends and he’s laid kinda low and even shaded the official narrative in the recent past. But I think he’s been drafted because using the douche canoe crew (the three dudes Liam started hanging with to help sell Sophiam) is not an option since they were all team Sophia and we’re employed for the purposes of that narrative.

And yes, baby themed cupcakes, randomly appearing over a month after the kid was born isn’t very bro. Why were they there? Who is that slow on the congrats anyway?? Niall?? LMAO! It’s obviously targeted at young, naive, female fans who swoon over this kinda thing without giving the context much thought.

Like I said my earlier tags, it’s a recycled stunt. And recycled stunts are evidence AGAINST a thing being an organic happening. In other words, it’s planned with a particular narrative mission in mind.

Let’s see some of the greatest hits in what I like to call, fakery from the bakery. Look away, Harry. I know you used to be a baker and these are abominations in your eyes.

Of course, Elounor are the OGs of this foolery. Fauxmance and Disney promo? Genius.

That mess wasn’t even the best. Behold the shady af tribute to the mother of modern bearding, Taylor Swift. Why ever would they go there?? Everybody’s in on this joke except 75% of this fandom.

The cake stunts didn’t end with Elounor 1.0. This one isn’t even funny. Because Louis was dealing with the very recent loss of his mother when this happened:

The look on his face says it all. Not ok and no further comment.

But not to be outdone, Liam has done more than his share of cake stuntin’. Cakes everywhere. The Funky Buddha promo cake and the cake Danielle allegedly got him:

Please note this was August 2012 and Payzer 1.0 was probably over at this point. This was post fandom famous Ziam/Payzer Vegas showdown. And as far as we can tell, it looked like Zayn won that battle and ultimately the war. So this explains the need for extra strength cake stuntin’…I mean, I guess by 1DHQ logic.

Cake stunts continued with Sophiam. As always, aided and abetted by friend of Modest, Funky Buddha.

In hindsight, the emphasis on Sophia was obviously promo meant to set her up as an Instamodel post scheduled break-up, which came later that year. I tell ya, all the cake stuff is planned and deliberate.

This brings us to Zayn. We were told to believe Zayn was responsible for this pre-school fantasy for Perrie’s 21st (yes 21st) birthday. Picture credit: ©Little Mix…yeah, exactly.

More Zerrie cake fakes: That one time the garbage press told us this was Zayn’s birthday cake courtesy of Perrie…

…but Zayn’s family showed and proved that this was actually Zayn’s birthday cake:

Zayn was never seen with the Hulk cake. Surprise, surprise. And the cake beat goes on with Gigi and her Zayn stand-in with the photoshopped tattoos.

Now the pastry aided deception includes babies. Sad but true.

As for Niall, there was this weirdness a few years ago:

Hahahaha, no. Somebody tried it. This was an insult to Niall and great promo for 1DHQ co-conspirator The Sun. This implied co-sign was meant to tell us to believe 1DHQ’s lies as told by The Sun. Because if you can’t trust Niall, who can you trust? I see what you did there.

So for some try-to-get-inside-the-mind-of-teenaged-girls logic fail, cakes are supposed to = rayl. I guess 1DHQ thinks the kiddies love cake and no one would ever use precious, delicious cake in the interest of faking it because precious delicious. Yeah, ok.