funk in the trunk

Parks and Recreation Sentence Starters
  • “I will defeat you. I will defeat you right into my pants.”
  • “This is the hardest I’ve ever worked on anything since…wow—I’ve never worked hard on anything!”
  • “I’ll wear that red thing when you deserve to see me in that red thing.”
  • “Earlier, I was licking icing off of my finger and boom, I swallowed my wedding ring.”
  • “I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.”
  • “This comes from your mother’s butt.”
  • “You sound like a tampon commercial. ”
  • “I once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks. I didn’t actually sell my last car. I just forgot where I parked it.”
  • “Hopefully that will help any sensitivity you have around your…boob hats.”
  • “I’ve been reading up on nipples.”
  • “You can trust me because I don’t care enough about you to lie.”
  • “First rule. No conversation lasts longer than 100 total words.”
  • “I am not a sore loser. It’s just that I prefer to win and when I don’t, I get furious. ”
  • “I’m going to murder you a thousand times!”
  • “I’ve had the same will since I was 8 years old. Upon my death, I will transfer all of my belongings to the man or animal who has killed me.”
  • “I’m boreddddd. Let’s go have sex in a tree.”
  • “One time my refrigerator stopped working and I had no idea what to do! I just moved!”
  • “I am 100 percent sure I am 0 percent sure of what to do.”
  • “I want to say something. You are a wonderful person. Our friendship means a lot to me. And you look very beautiful.”
  • “Wanna funk this junk in the back of my trunk?”
  • “Honestly, you’d look hot naked.”
  • “I’m not interested in caring about people.”
  • “The only thing I will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!”
  • “That’s great and everything but unfortunately you should all know that it doesn’t matter because nothing matters because life is pointless.”

ho that’s straight

i hit em with the k

i hit em in they face

i tell em see you late

i hit em with the funk

i put em in the trunk like damn

you know it’s houdinne

you know i got the binne

you see me on tv

two thousand thirtinne


i fuck her no delibe (deliberation) like damn

on that wake

barely awake

couldnt een skate

still sound great

fish in the lake

ya bitch catch the bait like damn

fo fifteen

hit em with the triple beam

mustard green

fuck ya whole team

i’m really unseen

perception keen like damn

just hit the bong

flew from here to hong kong

on that strong

tong pong kong

my shlong is very long

i got it goin on like damn

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