funeral lands

Melissa McCarthy rants Nobodies. SHE FUCKING BURNS THEM.

Rachel: Oh my god Melissa! I can not tell you how relieved we are. We thought you were mad at us.


Melissa: Shut up! You shut your big tooth big bushy browed face. God you’ve got a dumb face. You’re playing with fire and I’m gonna enjoy watching you guys burn to the ground.

Larry: Melissa I hear what you’re sayin-


Melissa: Larry why is your dirty stupid mouth hole talking to me? You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna take that little pocket square that you folded incorectly and I’m gonna snap it up so it almost becomes like a wire and I’m gonna wrap it around those little tiny testicles of yours and I’m gonna pull it tight, not to tight! Not to tight! But tight enough to make them shiny and start to loose blood suply and get real dark purple and then right when you’re thriving in pain I’m gonna snap it and I’m gonna pop those testicles off and shove them down the mouth hole. And I’m gonna make you choke ON YOUR OWN BALLS.

Larry: So you’re still mad?


Melissa: You know what I’m gonna do Larry? Coz you can’t seem to keep that mouth hole shut? I’m gonna fill it with coal and I’m gonna light it on fire and I’m gonna let my kids make s’mores off your charred bones and when they’re cleaning their little sticky fingers I’m gonna say that pile of ash is a dead Larry and they’re gonna throw their little heads back and they’re gonna laugh and then I’m gonna let them pee on you and I’m gonna sweep it into a gutter. So stop disagreeing with me. DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I’M MELISSA MCFUCKING MCCARTHY! THAT’S WHO I AM! AND     YOU     ARE     NOBODIES.

Originally posted by melissagodcarthy

READ THIS AT MY FUNERAL

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here i am taking selfies while i’m still sick… but i gotta go out today

Tristan & Isolde AU @wasitopened

There were dreams. Or memories. He couldn’t be quite sure, but the images played over and over in his mind sluggishly as the poison kept him immobile. Falling in and out of consciousness as the boat carried his supposedly dead body across from one land to another. 

By the time his funeral boat hit land he was no longer aware. The waves turning the boat on the side so he rolled off onto the sandy shore.

Dean Winchester and Billy Pilgrim, brothers in arms unstuck in time and mind.

I’ve already posted about Slaughterhouse-Five being on Metatron’s desk in the upcoming episode Meta Fiction, here.  That post was about connections between Metatron and Chuck and Kilgore Trout.  This post is about the content of the book and how its main character, Billy Pilgrim, relates to Dean. 

Slaughterhouse-Five is by Kurt Vonnegut.  Mr. Vonnegut had an incredibly interesting life interspersed with tragedy.  (Seriously, read through the link.)  But, the main things to know about him for this post are that he was a humanist, he struggled with his own mental health issues, he was a POW during WWII and survived the firebombing of Dresden and was forced to help clean up and dispose of the bodies afterwards, and his books often deal with whether or not humans have free will.  He puts a lot of himself in his books, sometimes literally.  His characters often share his life experiences, he has an alter-ego type character who makes appearances in several books and usually serves as a catalyst to the other characters, and Mr. Vonnegut himself shows up from time to time.

We know Dean Winchester has read Vonnegut.  He’s at least read Slaughterhouse-Five and Cat’s Cradle because he mentions both to Chuck.  I suspect if he’s read two, he’s read more, but I’ll keep this post mostly to Slaughterhouse-Five, which I’m going to shorten to S-5 from here on out.  Since it appeared Dean’s familiarity with Vonnegut was something Sam was unaware of, I’m going to guess Dean read these books after dropping out of high school but while Sam was still attending classes.  Probably while John was off hunting without them.  Sam’s at school during the day and Dean is not.  So maybe Dean fills some of his time with reading.  And oh, I think a 19 or 20 year old Dean would find something in S-5 he could really relate to.  In particular, the traumatic wartime experiences of the novel’s main character, Billy Pilgrim.

Keep reading

Theorized Q&A

I saw some questions dreaming-a-paradice asked and wanted to give my theory/insight on a possible answer


How did Max get her power in the first place?
People say Arcadia is strange and it seems like science is combined with Native American culture/beliefs and they play somewhat of a role in this game (Samuel even says Arcadia Bay is “scared” I believe, giving the town almost a character on its own. And Ms. Grant, who I believe has a very open mind but also knows her facts thoroughly when speaking to Max, talks about cultures that were part of Arcadia Bay, and how much people don’t know about science and, in my opinion, that gives the subject of science itself a mysterious feel and making reality very questionable to the player)… so it’s as if we’re not dealing with anything natural, so what if maybe Arcadia Bay itself or even Rachel Amber’s spirit triggered Max to discover she can rewind and change the past. I included my theory on Rachel influencing the power because she was Chloe’s best friend, and it’s assumed she loved and cared for her deeply, and that she knew Chloe very well and how fucked up and abandoned she felt. Rachel’s spirit may have been looking after Chloe and wanted Max to reunite with her, giving Chloe the support she needs. Maybe she even knew guiding them would lead to getting justice (just a theory, given that anything seems possible in this game!!!!). She may have been given the time travel to see how her friendship with Chloe is strong and unbreakable, to discover the darkness that Arcadia Bay held that needed to be uncovered, maybe even to understand the consequences of her choices that she makes in life entirely, and honestly I think the power was a push to give her the chance to get to know herself. She’s constantly claiming throughout the game to be a “shy cliché geek” and “always watching” and basically constantly reminding herself how little she’s capable of. But this week changed her by putting herself out there and realize how much she can do by herself.
Let me kinda explain that. After playing Episode 5, I had a vibe that Max discovered her time travel ability at the given moment when she saw a girl get shot after she tore an entry she considered for the “Everyday Heroes” contest… and that was for a reason. And since I sacrificed Chloe in my playthrough, my ending showed her going back in time to the one of the first scenes in the bathroom. Instead of rewinding and saving the Chloe, she sits in the corner and cries, knowing the storm it creates if she fucks with time and what’s meant to happen. And I noticed that the blue butterfly flew onto the sink where it gets a clear view of Chloe being shot, almost as if the butterfly is watching her die, and after time passes when I’m at Chloe’s funeral, it also lands on her coffin (a sign of her spirit always being with Max no matter what?)… this kinda makes me feel like the butterfly is her spirit animal, or just symbolic for her character entirely. After being reunited with Chloe and taking on a rollercoaster of events in just a week, repeatedly altering time and history over and over to save Chloe. After all these events, Chloe finally realizes how much Max has done for her and notices the constant pattern of her dying in every reality and wants to sacrifice herself. In my playthrough, Max’s last choice led her back to where it all began. And after everything, with reality finally balanced, I feel like the butterfly (Chloe) ultimately saves Max in the long run. I think this because I noticed how spirit animals seem to somewhat interact or watch over the characters they may be attached to. This is how I see it: the butterfly flew in the bathroom, maybe as a signal from fate or the spirit of Chloe (maybe the alternate timeline that she sacrificed herself in?), because Chloe was meant to be saved the first time not to only give Max powers, but to reunite two best friends, get justice after discovering the truth behind Rachel Amber and Kate Marsh, and wake Max up making her realize who she is as a person and how much she is capable of doing. This week was meant to happen because when Max left for Seattle, she didn’t know how much that changed Chloe, and maybe even Arcadia Bay, and I suspect it’s because Max had always been doubtful of herself and how much she can mean to someone. I’m not entirely certain, but it kinda felt like her power was to teach her a lesson after discovering all of what she can cause, that she is capable of so much more than what she thinks. Because the ending I got showed Max that looked confident, hopeful, brave, and strong. This power gave Max a glimpse of a tragic ending, but the journey led her to a whole new beginning.
So basically, I can only come up with these things explaining how she got the time travel power: Arcadia Bay itself, Rachel Amber’s spirit, Max’s completely out of character choice to save Chloe being so strong it was unnatural, or maybe even all of it combined. But I can confidently say that fate/destiny was definitely designed to be responsible for it.
Why did she have the vision of the tornado?
Max altered time, making it become unbalanced, causing the actual reality to literally spin out of control. Hence the “Chaos Theory” thing. Time seems like it takes control over Max at times, making her nose bleed, and I think it makes her blackout, causing her visions. Or maybe she has a vision because her spirit animal as the doe is giving her warnings from that timeline? And maybe that’s why it leads us to the lighthouse in the visions… it’s also interesting that her last decision (that we make) was made at that spot.
What were the reasons behind Principal Wells’ alcoholism?
Probably the Prescott’s down his throat about Nathan and money in general and keeping Blackwell’s good name while chaos is breaking loose… tell me you wouldn’t like a drink after having all of that on your shoulders?
What was the Prescott’s ‘legacy’?
Money. Jefferson said Nathan and him had a “father-son” relationship. I think all the notes we found signed “Your father” were from Mark, not his actual dad. So Mark, being the psychotic maniac he is, wrote how what he did was a legacy. But to answer about the Prescotts, I think his dad really just provided money. Like the letter from however long ago in the barn. The Prescotts own everything, they are a legacy in general.
Did Sean Prescott know about the Dark Room?
I think so. I mean… why would he give so much money to build it? Blackmail? I’m not sure. Nathan was responsible for Rachel’s death… Jefferson had a sexual relationship with Rachel… Nathan had feelings for Rachel… I’m really not sure. I think Mark was gonna blame Nathan for killing her and posed photos of both of them together… I don’t know, maybe he showed Nathan’s father and threatened to ruin the Prescott name and Nathan’s life… in return, he got the dark room to pose drugged girls. So I think he knows minor details and isn’t really in on it entirely and that maybe he’s just an absent father that pays for everything… Like the award in Nathan’s dorm room for “best son” or whatever? Why would he keep that?? He’s probably just a cliché rich asshole all about his name and making more money, but I don’t think he’s crazy enough to help Mark. I think this because his sister, the one who emailed Nathan, is perfectly sane but was also raised by him. Mark fucked Nathan up, not his dad. I mean, the kid tried to drug Chloe because of Mark… I really don’t think Sean is as awful as everyone is saying. Nathan’s father was probably absent and I’m assuming any time the word “father” for Nathan was used, it was really about Jefferson, not Sean.
If so, why was he not prosecuted for his involvement?
This, I have no idea. Maybe he is? We also don’t know if his family is being questioned either though, so I think this is up to the player to think on and an answer that will be left open. But I don’t really think they have enough evidence against Sean specifically.
Why did William’s death have such a great impact on everything?
Because it drastically changed Chloe and made her enraged and depressed. This also worsened when Max left for Seattle, so she felt abandoned by her two favorite people in the world. William was a valued person in the Price household… if he hadn’t died, David wouldn’t be in the picture, which is another thing Chloe isn’t too happy about. If William was alive, Max probably would have died in the bunker. David, being the soldier he was and the desire to protect his family with excessive (and misunderstood) force, HAS to be in the picture in order to save Max in whatever alternate reality she’s in where Chloe is dead. William’s death is basically what changed Chloe into the character we know and hella love. And if he didn’t die? She’d be in the wheelchair, not able to feel a thing. His role is very important because it’s implied that his fate also controls Chloe’s fate. Not to mention, telling her you went back to save William, and how it all ends up if he’s alive, is what got her to believe that going into the End of the World party is a bad idea.
Who did the other red SUV that David was tracking belong to?
Lots of theories say this is Samuel’s and with the data collected by a video on the Value Gaming channel on YouTube, he gives really convincing evidence that it’s his. But it looks just like Nathan’s as well so maybe David didn’t know which one was his for a while, so he spied on both vehicles. Or he though Samuel was a weird guy, I don’t know.
Why did Nathan try to steal the tobanga?
This, I have no answer for. His mental status isn’t in the best place is all I can say for that. Teenage shenanigans with friends maybe?
Why did Samuel have that crate containing women’s clothing in his store room?
This perplexed me as well, which might be why David was watching that red truck that might belong to Samuel (check Value Gaming channel on YouTube for speculated evidence on the unknown truck). Ms. Grant and him were talking on the bench in an episode, so maybe it’s hers? There are also pictures of Rachel Amber in there. Maybe he just hoarded the pictures of her modelling that he said she was handing out and never really got rid of them. He kinda just seems like a hoarder to me, kinda like squirrels hoard their nuts. I think the game did that to steer everyone to think Samuel is like a pervert or something.
What was Rachel Amber’s story?
I think it was kinda given… she was a wild child that had quite a reputation. Not sure if she loved Chloe as much as Chloe loved her, but they were best friends. And I think she kept a lot of things from Chloe because she didn’t want to hurt her or get an earful of insults and some judgemental kind of speech (which she kinda says in a letter in the junkyard). She did drugs, which led to a relationship with Frank. Their relationship seemed a bit rocky, which I can understand given how unstable Frank can be. She wanted to be a model, was attending Blackwell, so since some famous photographer was teaching there, she had to try to model for him. She also probably caught Nathan’s eye, as Jefferson said that he had feelings for her. I think Mark knew this and wanted to get Rachel drugged so he could specifically take photos of her as he likes his “subjects” posed with his weird innocent but dark obsessions. Nathan overdosed her on accident, killed her, and I’m guessing Jefferson took advantage of that situation to use him as a puppet entirely.
How did Nathan know that there was ‘a storm coming’ and that ‘everyone was gonna die’?
Symbolism and foreshadowing maybe? Storm = chaos? He also said something like “my father is on his way” or something too, who I think he’s referring to Jefferson. And he more than likely knows that Max is being targeted by Mark too. And Victoria. I’m not sure, but I definitely don’t think he has powers of any kind. I can only guess that either he’s enraged and the game is throwing foreshadowing at us, or Mark Jefferson said this, because it seems like he’s always speaking in some kind of metaphorical way and using weird phrases or quotes, and Nathan is just repeating what he said (also I’m suspecting Jefferson said this because he more than likely is the one who spray painted the “You’re all gonna die” message you can find in the junkyard where you have the option to write “Max was here”).
Why did Nathan have Max’s selfie in his room?
She reported him to Principle Wells. If you don’t do this, her selfie isn’t there. I think it was to motivate his rage and to help Jefferson with capturing Max. And I guess to remind him that Max reported him, so he could go along with Mark easily. But after hearing the message he left Max and saying sorry, I don’t think he would have come through.
What was Nathan’s backstory in general?
I think I’ve kind of explained my capture in the questions above. Rich kid with absent parents, develops a sick father-son relationship with a guy who likes to capture photos of women when they are vulnerable and “innocent”, and goes along because he doesn’t really know what having a father figure is like. I think Nathan had a thing for Rachel and then it all went downhill from there. He accidentally overdoses Rachel and I think that fucked him up really really bad, to where he became completely crazy. Not to mention he was a puppet for Mr. Jefferson, always being bossed around and if those letters and notes are from Mark, he’s constantly being put down. His character is ruined by Mark Jefferson. I think he initially had issues to begin with, but the whole Rachel, dark room, drugging girls, trying to impress Jefferson, and dealing with being a Prescott in general was a lot to deal with to send him into this rage so powerful he couldn’t control it.
What was the deal with the doe?
Max’s spirit animal, in my opinion, and Samuel being a nature guy, also says this. It guides her a lot throughout the story, to her “destiny” as I think Samuel put it. Being the spirit animal and if it communicates with her like I think Samuel says, the doe was there during the storm because it was showing Max what was going to happen when she discovers her power trying to save Chloe. Then I think it pops up where Rachel is buried as a sign to try to tell Max. Kinda like a warning, maybe. I honestly felt overwhelmed with sadness when the doe hangs its head and kinda disappears as it watches Max and Chloe discover Rachel’s body… which I guess is why people think Rachel’s spirit animal is the doe. I don’t really think that though… I think the doe was just watching over Max at the moment, maybe because it was waiting for her to discover that spot, and I honestly felt that the doe’s sorrow watching their discovery. Also considering the plain shirts Max wears, her blank slate outside her door, and her character, before she gains her power, could be described as a “Jane Doe”, kind of unknown with no story. But that’s my opinion. Jefferson also comments on her being doe-eyed while taking photos of Max in the dark room. And, in episode 5, Max replaces the doe that’s in Chloe’s snow globe above the fireplace in one of weird flashbacks Max has, this one overseeing William’s last moments with Chloe and Max.
Why did Nathan’s sister not want to be involved with their parents, particularly Sean?
I don’t think she has a clue what’s going on really. Maybe she’s getting emails from deranged Nathan saying “father” this “father” that talking about Jefferson and she takes it as it being Sean, since it’s clear that the Prescotts are all about name and money. It sounded like she didn’t care about that lifestyle, so I think she just got away from that, still loving her family, but not really wanting to be by their side.
Why did Victoria hate Rachel so much?
Jealousy? And insecurities? Rachel was popular, got along with everyone, and didn’t seem to care about what people thought about her. It’s clear that Victoria puts a front on because she has no confidence. Plus, Rachel probably had Jefferson’s, and maybe Nathan’s, attention at all times. Like Max said, Victoria needs attention and people talking about her all the time… and Rachel seems to be all that’s talked about in Arcadia, so I can see her resenting her for that too. That’s what I gather from what she tells Max and her behavior.
Why did Rachel seem to be the love interest of Frank, Jefferson, Nathan and Chloe all at the same time?
I really don’t think she had interest in Nathan, especially considering how bitter he is talking about Frank and her in the diner. I think Nathan cared about her romantically, though, and that they were friends. We’re not really given much information about that but he seemed to have cared for her. Frank, I think, was genuine and probably a rollercoaster of a relationship. From photos gathered and how heavily Frank takes the subject of Rachel missing, it tells me that she did love him, but he loved her more. I think she put her modelling before Frank, and got with Jefferson to pursue that. Which might be why there were letters about fights and such that Frank kept in the vent. I’m torn as to who of these two Rachel is referring to in the letter she wrote to Chloe that you can find in their little hangout at the Junkyard. As for Jefferson, I’m not sure if the “connection” that he claims to have with Rachel is true or not, because he also tells Max that he has a connection with her too. I’m thinking she had sex with Jefferson for him to model her… he got gross and things got bad. As for Chloe, I think Chloe was in love with her… but I’m not sure if Rachel felt the same way. Her letters to her are kind of talking to her in a way that you’d talk to your best friend, not a girlfriend. But I do think she was aware of Chloe’s feelings and maybe experimented which led Chloe to fall for her. And maybe Rachel loved her too, she just used everyone else for drugs and for her pursuit for modelling so she could actually leave with Chloe to go to Los Angeles. But I guess we’ll never know.
Why did Rachel send Max an SMS in that nightmare saying that they will meet very soon?
Because the alternate reality was fucking Max up, I think. I mean the shit we went through? I mean, Frank’s dog sent a message to her… that whole sequence I think was to scare Max and to have her question all of her decisions. And since there’s an alternate reality with her possibly dying/someone trying to kill her or how often death occurs in the last week, I’m sure that sequence is basically taunting Max and telling her that she’s gonna die… and because Rachel is dead, they’re gonna “meet very soon”.
Why is Samuel so strange?
I mean, strange people are everywhere in life, and those people are misjudged a lot. I think Samuel was intentionally designed for you to be wary of him and to question him entirely. After all, he is a big mystery. I personally thought the dude was harmless.
Why is Alyssa always in trouble?
Bullies seemed to target her a lot… and I think that’s why she’s a closed book when you try to talk to her. When she’s in trouble, the person always seems satisfied and laughs or doesn’t even notice/care that they hurt her, so she might just be in the wrong place at the wrong time all the time. I also think it’s because when Max sees Alyssa in trouble, and because how often she says she hates bullies, her instinct is to rewind and save her from those situations because Max wants to be the SuperMax people claim her to be, even if she doesn’t know it. And I think it makes her feel stronger as a person to help anyone she can that’s in need of it. Plus, Alyssa does pay you back by saving your life if you’ve saved her from trouble in Episode 5.
What’s gonna happen with the Vortex Club now?
I assume that if it continues, it will be monitored very closely. Basically to the point where drugs and alcohol are rarely involved (assuming someone sneaks it in). Or it won’t continue at all and the characters in Blackwell might be somewhat united in a way where they don’t need the Vortex Club. I hope good comes out of what happened. I would hate for all of the things to happen and the parties still rage on until people are passed out without anyone taking care of each other. But since the suppliers and threats are out of the picture, maybe the vortex club parties won’t be feared anymore if continued.

This is just my opinion on the questions that I saw! I don’t really know if they’re correct or if I took some of the events the wrong way entirely, but hopefully I provided points of view to consider!

Submitted by Brittany via Mail


Amazing analysis! That explains a lot :D