functional family

LADIES

Leave yo ex the hell alone. He is your ex for a reason. Unless y'all have a mutual agreement that y'all are working on it - LET HIM GO

Stop trying to sabotage his new relationships. Popping up at family functions and shit

NIGGAS

Stop leading yo ex on. There’s probably a reason she acting crazy as hell. (1) she for real crazy (2) you entertaining the shit which is giving her a reason to think y'all bout to get back together.

“You can’t be funny without being offensive!”

Um

“Functional, healthy family relationships can’t be funny! Only dysfunctional relationships where the family members despise each other can be hilarious!” 

UM

“Everything has to be edgy and dark and violent and push the line to be good!” 

If you genuinely believe that, then you’re not trying hard enough. 

Imagine twelve year old Harry not even knowing how awful his childhood with Dursleys had been until he gets to the Burrow.

Imagine him seeing Percy asleep with a book on his lap, and being baffled that a kid might feel comfortable enough in his own home to be so vulnerable in the living room. 

Imagine Molly coming up to the attic to say goodnight to Ron and Harry, and Harry glancing at Ron when he hears her footsteps, trying to figure out what they had done wrong that day.

Imagine him asking George who does all the house chores, and thinking it’s a joke when George answers, “we all do.” 

Imagine Ginny pestering Arthur with questions over the Daily Prophet, and Harry trying to shoot her warning looks to stop it! but then Mr. Weasley looks up and patiently answers every single one. 

Imagine Bill popping in for a visit one evening and Harry being floored when Bill stops to chat with him. 

Imagine Fred chasing after Harry in the yard, playfighting, but Harry actually begins to run for real fear of being hurt. 

Imagine Molly burning something on the stove my accident and tossing it, imagine Harry mentioning to Ron, offhandedly, “she could’ve given that one to me, it’s what I eat at home when I mess up dinner” and not knowing why Ron is horrified.

Imagine Harry seeing what a normal, functioning family looks like, and realizing the absence of love in his own life. 

The White Dress.

This story is about my friends MIL, and her wedding. Strap in guys, this is a wild ride in which I did THE THING that got me banned from any of her family functions. (Plus a few threats of dismemberment and bodily harm)

A good friend of mine from university was getting married! They had been a couple since Junior year of college, through her 2 years in the peace corps and currently her return to this continent. 6 years in total. She had been to all manner of family functions and always came back with a strange story about how she thinks her MIL secretly hates her. But she being a very quiet and sweet person pushed those thoughts aside.

Point 1: She is vegetarian and jewish, husband is not. She was invited and went to Christmas dinner and figured she would just eat sides, as well she brought a vegetarian casserole. MIL, after knowing her for THREE years, and being told by husband a few weeks before about not to forget friend doesn’t eat meat…proceeded to put meat in every dish. Friend drank water and ate her casserole the whole night while MIL cried to everyone that friend was so rude for not eating her cooking.

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Your uncles at the family function…

Okay but can we talk about Requiem from the DEH soundtrack and musical?


In case some people needed the definition here it is:

A Requiem is a repose, in musical form, commemorating the dead and praising their life.

We know that the Murphys are not the greatest, most functional family, but their reasons for not singing a Requiem are each different and very telling about their character.


Zoe Murphy will not sing Requiem because she resents the image she held of her brother. She had no clue what he was going through, and only thought he was a slacker, and a psycho stoner. She hated that she had to function in the wake of her train - wreck brother.

She will sing no Requiem because she doesn’t believe he deserves it.


Larry Murphy is disappointed in this son he feels he never really had. “I gave you the world, and you threw it all away”. He felt distanced from Connor, both because of Connor’s issues and Larry’s inability to understand or connect. He won’t sing a Requiem, not because he doesn’t believe he deserves it, but because he feels he really didn’t know his own son. It’s like singing Requiem for a total stranger that you didn’t know or like.


Cynthia Murphy is the contrast. She views a Requiem as giving up on a memory, as allowing Connor to fade away. Evan’s emails give her this illusion of a troubled son she felt she didn’t know, but it’s likely that she tried (Anybody Have a Map? shows this, and her parallels with Evan’s mom). She wants the memory and ideas to live on, so she will not let him fade away and acknowledge that he is gone forever. She will sing no Requiem because she isn’t ready to do so.

Just. Requiem really gets me you guys

(I might analyze the whole soundtrack just because I’m neurotic and hyper focus on everything, so yeah let me know which song/part you want me to analyze)

anonymous asked:

like all ur head cannons on victuuri as parents

  • Victor is absolutely terrified of being a parent
  • Yuri is cool with it, since he comes from an actual functioning family unit and also, he knows victor
  • victor is also terrified they’ll be like, weird stage parents
    • “no we’re not” says Yuri “one, I’m me, two, you just told the Russian skating people you would see them in hell before you let a child of yours be raised in a sports boarding school like you and if that child spent ten hours a day on ice it would be because it wanted to be there” “but what if we like, unconsciously pressure them” “what if you chill and let me be the anxious person in this marriage for like, five seconds”
  • victor is actually the strict dad and yuri is the ‘eh turn off your light when you finish your book honey’ dad
  • victor insists on doing the whole 3-5-7 ceremony in Japan and Yuri is like “oh okay whatever sure” which is pretty much how the entire thing goes. Victor’s very Into Cultural Traditions and Yuri is like “sure”
  • they try to split the night duties but for some reason Yuri’s always waking up and finding Victor and the baby sound asleep on the rocking chair when it’s technically Yuri’s turn
  • victor left it up to yuri if they would adopt or have a surrogate because victor is all for spite-adopting because he’s been hounded for babies for Russia since he was 17 years old
At my grandfather's funeral, I make a joke about being the cautious queer at family functions and my mother doesn’t find it funny. My mother wants to know why I make such a big deal out of things. My mother says, “Believe it or not, your family accepts you.”

She says it smooth and easy, like it’s always been there / like I didn’t have to fight for it / like she never hurled LESBIAN at me as an accusation / like I didn’t have to be thousands of miles away from home to feel comfortable enough to come out / like she didn’t get condolences when I did / like she didn’t ask me to keep a muzzle on it / like she didn’t cry when I moved in with my girlfriend / like she doesn’t know the difference between tolerance and acceptance / like she doesn’t periodically ask if I’m still “doing the gay thing” / like she doesn’t always hope the answer is “no”
—  Trista Mateer
The signs as things my aunt has said pt 2

Aries: Why do kids always get to eat first?! I’m hungrier!!

Taurus: *at a family function* I honestly only came here for the food and I’m truly disappointed with this potato salad. Should’ve never RSVP’d

Gemini: damn she transformed from a thotapillar to a hoetterfly…I’m proud

Cancer: I left AJ with Cocoa and now I need to go get him
AJ is her phone, Cocoa is her car….

Leo: “better call CHEVY with the FAKE hair” (Chevy is her ex boo’s new boo 🐸☕️)

Virgo: *when she was pregnant for her daughter*
aunt: yup, she’s going to be potty trained at 2, walking at 5, and she’ll have a steady paying job at 11.
me:…years?
aunt: no months

Libra: that cable guy outside looks like he could be my daughter’s new step daddy 😏

Scorpio:
aunt: let’s play a game: tell me a secret
me:…okay. You’re gonna tell me one too, right?
aunt: wow you just ruined all the fun. I don’t wanna play anymore

Sagittarius: *driving when a bicyclist comes in front of us*
aunt: *turns to smile at me in the passenger seat* how many points will I get if I hit him?

Capricorn: I may be a bitch, but I’m a classy bitch. I am the classiest bitch of all the classy bitches, therefore, I am the best bitch and that’s all the matters.

Aquarius:
aunt: I’ve cried one too many times this month
me: how many times have you cried?
aunt: once

Pisces:
TV: in the aaaarms ooof an angeeel
aunt: *holding on to my dog, sobbing*

Okay but, why is it so “weird” that I’m completely okay with being alone???
I make a joke
about being the cautious queer
at family functions, only
my mother doesn’t find it funny.
She scowls, looks me square in the face
and says, “Believe it or not,
your family accepts you.”
She says it smooth and easy,

like it’s always been there
like I didn’t have to fight for it
like I didn’t have to leave home to come out
like she didn’t get condolences when I did
like she didn’t ask me to keep a muzzle on it
like she didn’t cry when I moved in with my girlfriend
like she doesn’t periodically ask if I’m still “doing the gay thing”
like she doesn’t always hope the answer is “no.”
—  Trista Mateer
Mr. Min - Chapter 04

Description:  Your CEO caught your attention the first day you started your new job and it seems the attraction is mutual.  Too bad he’s only interested in a relationship that benefits him.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Jungkook

Genre: Smut and Angst

Word Count: 14,013

Warning: Mentions of rape, abortion, murder, blackmail, neglect, Dom!Yoongi, demeaning names

Prologue - Ch 01 - Ch 02 - Ch 03 - Ch 05 - Ch 06

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Sam's heaven

(A/N): So I really miss writing supernatural and I had just watched the dark side of the moon and I wanted to write a lil something about it 

Summary: Sam and Dean are trapped in heaven, forced to relive their memories but what they both see is not what they expected 

 Warnings: angst? Swearing, that’s it :) 


Originally posted by adaav

   Dean and Sam were trapped in heaven; no big deal, they just had to avoid any and all angels, traverse through their best moments, and make it back home. That wasn’t too hard, was it?


    Dean’s memories had all been of family, of a time much happier than the one now. Even Sam couldn’t help the small smile that remained on his face as he watched Dean interact with people from his past; Like their own mother Watching Dean with his mom pulled at Sam’s heart strings; he wondered if they had lived a normal life if maybe he would’ve been dressed up in small flannel and horrendously ugly t-shirts, maybe he’d have had the crusts cut off of his pb&j, maybe he would have actually had a nice, functioning family. But that’s not the way it played out and he was stupid to hope for such a thing anyways. 


   Everything had been smooth until they reached sam’s memories; his best moments. There was one with his dog, only weeks after he left John and Dean, there was another on thanksgiving with a family that had been much kinder to him than his own, but the ones that really stuck with him were the ones with (Y/N). They had been his significant other since the day he left John, not really, but that was the day he met them. He’d gone to a diner, plopped down and ordered himself the most expensive burger he could, he deserved to celebrate after all. 

    “Looks like something’s got Mr. Sasquatch down,” His waiter- (Y/N)- smiled at him softly. “You okay?” Sam’s nose crinkled a bit as he looked at the menu. Did they- had they just asked if he was okay? No one ever cared enough about him to ask if he was okay. This person had even noticed that he wasn’t feeling okay and they asked him about it.

    “Uh yeah- just a bit of a hard day really,” (Y/N) smiled as they set their little notepad down, instead taking a seat right across from Sam. 

   "Wanna tell me about it? I’ll even buy your food for you,“ No one had ever been that kind to Sam, no one but (Y/N). It felt nice to finally have someone care, even if it was just a stranger. So that day Sam poured his heart and soul into his conversation with (Y/N), telling them all about his shitty childhood, about his father, about dean. For hours he talked with them and during some point the conversation had drifted from his past to other things, things like law school, art, nature, even animals. Not once in his life had Sam felt so comfortable around someone, (Y/N) was different like that and Sam absolutely loved it. But for now that wasn’t the memory he was reliving, in fact, it was a memory from months after they first met. 

    "Who the hell is that?” Dean whispered as he watched the memory unfold. 

   It dark outside, but the stars above seemed to illuminate everything splendidly. It was a large field, much like the one from Dean’s memory and in the middle of it was (Y/N). Sam’s throat choked up a bit as he looked at them, at their curious eyes, and beautiful smile. 

   "Sam, the hell is this?“ But Sam wasn’t listening, he was too focused on (Y/N). "Sam- Sammy, the hell are you doing?” Dean whispered as Sam walked forward, completely ignoring his brother. He was almost dazed really to see (Y/N) after all this time, even if it was just his own memory. 

   "Sorry I’m late,“ Sam breathes out as he sits down beside (Y/N), still in awe over how beautiful they looked. "I got lost on the way here,” (Y/N) smiled and laughed softly, their nose crinkling in a way that had his heart aching. 

   "It’s okay, you’re actually right on time,“ (Y/N) pointed to the sky, directing Sam’s gaze upwards. Above them millions of stars shined brightly, creating a sight too beautiful for words.

    It was their annual date night (every Friday to be exact) but rather than stay inside and watch some shitty tv shows (as per they usually did. They were poor college students after all) (Y/N) had hauled Sam along to watch the stars; They had always been a bit of an astronomy geek so they were more than excited to show Sam the starry sky.

    "Isn’t it beautiful?” (Y/N) asked softly as they looked to the sky in awe, their eyes twinkling so brightly that Sam wanted to cry. 

   "Yeah,“ Sam nodded as he stared at them. "It sure is," 


    "Who the hell was that?” Dean asked as they traveled along, coming to Sam’s next memory. 

   "I dated them in college,“ Sam Shrugs a bit. "Just a fling really," 

   "That sure as hell didn’t look like a fling,” Dean scrutinized as he glared at Sam, eyes narrowed and lips pursed. “We’re you in love?" 

   "Dean-” Sam sighed as he smiled just a bit. “I’m telling you, it was nothing," 

   "Uh huh,” Dean clicked his tongue as they walked along. “I’m sure," 

  "I promise you, it was nothing-" 

   "Sam!” Sam was interrupted by yet another memory and by no surprise it was another one involving (Y/N). 

   They pounced upon him like cat, pulling him into a nearly bonecrushing hug. 

   "I was so worried, where have you been?“ Sam had gone away for a day or two, just for a little getaway from Stamford. He hadn’t told anyone where he was going and he stupidly left his phone at home. He wouldn’t need to contact anyone, he knew how to fend for himself after all. It was such a peaceful trip that Sam honestly didn’t even think about the consequences that was until (Y/N) was cupping his cheeks and staring at him with tear filled eyes. 

   "I’m sorry (Y/N),” Sam whispers, his heart clenching as he stared at (Y/N). Even after all these years seeing their expression still hurt him, seeing their worried face and pained eyes still had the same reaction as it did years ago. “I was jus out on a trip, I didn’t think to tell anyone,”

    “You fucking idiot,” (Y/N) chides although their watery chuckled completely betrayed their words. “I was so fucking scared, I was damn near close to calling the police. God- fuck you you fucking prick.” Without any warning (Y/N) leaned in, connecting their lips to Sam’s. It was their first kiss and god it had been amazing. (Y/N)’s lips felt absolutely perfect against Sam’s and if he could he’d have let them linger there all day but there was something pulling him away, forcing their lips apart. 

   "I love you (Y/N),“ Sam spews, like word vomit that he simply could not control. "I love you so much,” It was the first time he’d ever admitted to loving someone. He hadn’t even ever told his father or brother that he directly loved them, (Y/N) was a first. Sam’s breath was shaky as he looked at (Y/N), his heart pounding wildly just as it had the day he said those three words to them for real.

    “I love you too Sammy,” (Y/N) sobbed happily as they threw their arms around his neck (or at least the best they could). “I love you so fucking much,” Sam sighed again as he wrapped his arms around their waist, tugging them impossibly closer to him. His scruffy face nuzzled into their neck and he couldn’t help it when his own soft little cry fell from his lips. God- he missed (Y/N) so much, more than anyone ever; he’d give anything to be back there, back in their arms, safe and happy, oblivious to the evil around him- 

    “Sam.” Sean’s voice is softer now than it was the first time. “Sam c'mon on, we gotta go,” Sam didnt want to leave, he couldn’t leave (Y/N) a second time but he knew he had to. So with the utmost reluctancy Sam let go, letting Dean drag him away from the best thing to ever happen to him. 


   Now they were walking down a lonely stretch of road, different from either one of their memories. The air felt heavy, depressed really, so much so that it was nearly impossible for Sam to breathe, or perhaps those were the tears building behind his eyes that were making functioning so hard. 

   "So what happened to them?“ Dean asks softly, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Sam sighs as he walks on, heart heavier than it had been in a long time.

    "After a run in with a ghost I decided that it was too dangerous, the whole together thing." 

   "So you left them?" 

   "Yep, left them heartbroken too.”

   "I’d imagine so, seems like you two were really close.“

    "Yeah,” Sam sighs as he looks behind him, back at his happiest memories, or at least where they used to be, for now it was just the same never ending stretch of road. 

   "So- did you really love them?“ Dean knew he was treading on thin ice but he was curious, mighty curious.

    "Yes,” Sam nods, looking down at the water covered asphalt to avoid looking at anything else. “More than anything in this world," 

    "Y'know…if we ever get out of here you should give them call, get some closure.” Sam chuckles dryly, a harsh sound that hurt his throat.

    “They probably hate me now or some shit.”

    “Never too late to try,” Dean smiled softly as he walked on, down the endless stretch of highway that only seemed to get longer as they walked. Yeah…maybe Sam would give them a call if he ever got out. That was his motivation now, a phone call to (Y/N) if he survived.


    Sam sighed as he picked up his phone, eyeing the small thing warily.

    “Come on man,” Dean said trough a mouth of food. “You promised yourself," 

   "Yeah, yeah,” Sam dials in their number, or the number they had previously used years ago. “I know,” He stared at the numbers hesitantly, his heart racing uncontrollably. This was it. If no one answered that would be it, that’s the last time he’d ever try to contact (Y/N). 

  So with a shaking hand Sam pressed call, waiting for some message stating that the number was now disconnected or something but to Sam’s surprise the thing actually began to ring. The number was still up and running, that meant either (Y/N) hadn’t ever changed their number or someone else was now using it. 

   Sam gulped as it continued to ring again and again and again, it was almost to the last ring when it suddenly stopped, meaning that someone had finally picked up.

    “Hello?”

    “Hi, uh (Y/N)? This is Sam Winchester-”