I run a series of one shot survival horror campaigns and I have a new player who doesn’t quite get mechanics in pathfinder. They’re in a boat that is now infested with wendigos. They’re all level one hand have found sanctuary with the ships cook.
Player: I try and steal the cooks hat. *rolls 4
Me: you successfully grab his hat, however you just walked up and took it. He snatches it back from you and continues on.
Player: I try again. *rolls 7
Me: you grab it again, once again he snatches it back and swiftly punches you in the face for two point of damage. ‘Try that again and I’ll take your cap.’ He indicates to your head.
Player: I take up a knife, sneak up behind him *20* now I stab him in the head. *1 damage*
Me: he takes the knife that now is protruding from his shoulder. He proceeds to push you down *succeeds* and stabs you *three damage* taking off your head.
Player: again I’m killed unrealistically and without reason. Can I be a ghost?
You just gave me a new headcanon that Robin absolutely hates Dr. Seuss because it makes no sense so he refuses to read any of those books to Roland or the baby, but Regina reads them to the kids just to make him mad
incidentally, this is my headcanon too, and it brings me great joy!
can you imagine though – henry is totally in on it too and checks out every last one of dr. seuss’ books from the library (it takes him half a day to find them all, because what kind of nonsense cataloguing system is belle using anyway)
and when bedtime story duty cycles back to robin, he’s mysteriously stuck with all the hortons and yertles and something fuzzy called a lorax
so poor roland and his baby sister are forced to sit through their father’s baffled commentary as he reads to them and gets more and more bent out of shape – “well i wouldn’t care for green eggs either” and “mr. brown goes on for-bloody-ever doesn’t he” –
eventually one night regina takes pity on him (the particular book he’d somehow ended up with is trying on his every last nerve, you see), and roland, eager to finally have a person who takes story time seriously for a change, wants to know, “why are all the fish sad and glad and bad and mad?”
and regina, very slyly, looks to the book, to robin, back to the book, and reads out loud, “i do not know…go ask your dad”