fun with dragons

Barbarians make the best rogues

DM: Okay so you enter the dragon’s cave. All around you is gold and various treasures. There is a large blue dragon sleeping beside what appears to be her egg.

Barbarian: I WANNA PUNCH THE EGG AND STEAL THE LOOT!
*rolls a nat 1 to punch the egg*

DM: Okay so the sight of the dragon temporarily confuses you, and you punch the pile of gold before grabbing the dragon egg and hauling ass.

Barbarian: PUNCH THE LOOT AND STEAL THE DRAGON!

Party: PUNCH THE LOOT AND STEAL THE DRAGON!

DM: The Dragon wakes up and notices her egg is gone and…

Barbarian: SEDUCTION ROLL!
*rolls a nat 20*

Party: *pounding our fists on the table* FUCK THE DRAGON! FUCK THE DRAGON! FUCK THE DRAGON!

2

I saw @otherwindow ´s gorgeous Incubus McCree, so I decided to draw him, but I got a bit carried away. 

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More DnD Worldbuilding

A continuation of this

  • Rebel wizards leaking open-source spellbooks for free to spellcasters that can’t afford to join the elite magic schools
  • I don’t know if there’s free press in Faerûn but there are bards that will spread catchy songs about asshole nobles trampling on half-orc rights
  • A gnome-run toy shop that sells kits for kids to learn to build their own cool, animate clockword toys
  • Wood Elves that grew up in a city and have never seen a tree in their lives, but are really good and blending into urban environments
  • Genasi tattoo artists: because not being born with kickass skin markings shouldn’t preclude you from getting some
  • Races with natural darkvision having the same eyeshine as nocturnal animals
  • Dragonborn and Kobolds speaking in gender-neutral Common because they have trouble spotting gender cues of the non-reptillian races
  • A network of druids, clerics, and diviners acting as an early warning system for storms, earthquakes, and floods days or weeks in advance
  • With humans able to intermingle with elves, orcs, dwarves, fiends, djinn, and the occasional kinky dragon, family trees and census paperwork must be a nightmare to sort through.
  • (’Please check any non-human ancestry within 1-5 generations:’ “YES”)
  • A wizard-tailor using mage hand to take measurements, mend to fix tears, and transmutation to change fabric colors and materials
  • Familiars serving as support and guide animals
  • Mage-heavy cities utilzing conjuration and transmutation to make post-scarcity societies
  • A troupe of Kenku performers using their natural sound mimcry to put on high-production plays, musicals, and puppet shows
  • Druid-run animal shelters
  • First day of class, a teacher terrifies some freshman by drawing a sword -but wait he’s…putting it on a pedestal up front? Oh, that’s Professor Eversharp Darkrender, a 1,200 year old sentient blade who has personally impaled three of the historical figures that will be covered in this course.