fun stunt

Gotham BTS from S3 Finale. This was my very first crack…and my boi, Turner (Ben’s amazing stuntman), got it on camera.

I was extra excited because this was my 20th try and frankly, I wasn’t expecting to get anything. 😂 practice makes perfect. Persistence does too. 👏🏽

**ALSO, Turner had me wear his sunglasses for safety. They look better on him. 😂

@citrusrealm and I were talking, and imagine if we all got the dang ATLA theme park we deserved. Just imagine how cool that would all be: 

  • It’s all divided into four sections for each nation  
  • Glider themed flying roller coaster that shows you through the whole Air Temples portion of the park 
  • Log ride/coaster based on the Serpent’s Pass
  • Themed restaurants/food (Iroh’s tea shop, King Kuei’s banquet, fire flakes & gummies)
  • You know how you can meet Disney princesses? Well now you can meet PRINCESS AZULA 
  • And Yue 
  • scheduled showings of the Ember Island Players play irl on stage in the Fire Nation district
  • Silly yet entertaining sky bison ride 
  • avatar day parade (without the burning) 
  • Recreation of the Fire Palace omg
  • Omashu delivery system roller coaster duh 
  • There are also so many good opportunities for gift shops (like the pirate ship from the waterbending scroll)
  • And ‘bending’ shows with fun stunts 
  • and the water tribes would have a lot of water-themed rides 
  • imagine getting some fire flakes and then going to go see an Earth Rumble with a Toph appearance or even a Pro-Bending match 
  • Procession of Fire Nation soldiers or Dai Li agents walking around the park casually 
  • Dance parties at night in the Fire Nation what up 
  • Penguin sledding ride :’) 
  • kyoshi warrior performances though 
  • also a ferry ride somewhere 
  • you can occasionally spot the Blue Spirit being sneaky around the park 
  • ATLA themed hotel rooms  
  • gimme this
Exasperating also starts with E

(Note: this is an Au where Eurus never killed VT and grew up as normal in the Holmes household as the baby of the family, she’s still a sociopath, so this happened…)

“Are you ever going to tell Molly Hooper that you love her?” Was the first thing Sherlock heard upon entering Baker Street after a long case, admittedly he should be used to his little sister showing up at his flat for no reason other than to annoy him, but honestly he thought it was Mycroft’s turn this month .

“And good evening to you too Eurus” Sherlock sighed turning around to find her sitting in his chair casually eating from a tub of (obviously expensive, imported specifically for high priority clients, delivered just two hours ago by a messenger with sweaty hands) Marchetti Gelato, she was wearing the Pajamas Mycroft had give her last Christmas and apparently seemed to have the ludicrous idea that he was back to his eight year old self who’d indulged her in as many pretend tea parties as she wished “I thought you said sleepovers were for goldfishes and amoeba brained females not worth associating with”

(Adult Eurus had never graduated from her ‘force my brothers to play tea party with me’ phase. And unlike Mycroft, who’d easily used his seniority to escape their little sister’s manipulative feminine machinations as soon as humanly possible, Sherlock never really had it in him to push her away)

“And he avoids my question, big surprise there, do have some Gelato, I even had this Ginger Nut flavor comissioned just for you” Eurus smiled extending the tub in his direction “you know that you are my favorite brother don’t you?”

“Yes I am aware, considering that the other option is Mycroft and I always win by default, although I apreciate the effort to sweeten what will undoubtedly be a conversation fraught with manipulation tactics and no I do not love Molly Hooper” Sherlock replied, putting away his bellstaff loosening his scarf and accepting the gelato “speaking of which how is your dear James?”

“Still hiding behind his lawyer in an effort to avoid me” Eurus sighed dramatically with a wave of her hand

“Well to be fair Moriarty isn’t an idiot, I think most men would prefer his high security prison in the middle east over facing your wrath after his failure to remember your aniversary” Sherlock didn’t have to make his disapproval of his sister’s choice of boyfriend known, after all it was the frequent topic of discussion among family dinners and the only subject Mycroft and he agreed on lately, but when it came to life sentences the Holmes brothers didn’t think that there was anything worse than being subjected to Eurus and the mercurial moods she hid under her sociopathic personality, so they both refrained from outright trying to get themselves rid of him.

“As James should” Eurus huffed “but he won’t be able to plead guilty forever if I make sure evidence of the contrary begins to accumulate around him” And considering the latest petty crime Moriarty had pleaded guilty for involved the assassination of a well known Middle East religious leader, Sherlock didn’t doubt his sister’s threat “are we done with your deflections Sherlock?, answer me already, when is that love confession taking place?”

“Very well Eurus, I’ll humor you” the ‘else you’ll never let the subject drop’ was implied but thankfully not voiced, if one thing was true among the Holmes family was that Sherlock loved his like minded sister and rarely left an opportunity to talk to her go to waste “why do you think that I am as you so eloquently put it 'in love’ with Molly Hooper when you know I firmly believe that sentiment is a waste of time”

“Because you are, do you need me to make a PowerPoint presentation to illustrate it?” Eurus snorted, reminding Sherlock of their teenage years and her old perchance for whining about always being right “Anyone with high IQ can see it”

“So Papa has finally given you the grandchildren ultimatum huh?”

“No more than he gave it to Mycroft but that’s not the point”

“Youre his only daughter of course its the point, Papa wants grandbabies to spoil and you as the daddy’s girl that you are, do not want to dissapoint him, you wouldn’t be here trying to matchmake me otherwise” Sherlock shot back smugly “stop saying I’m in love with Molly”

“may I remind you that of all the people in this sentiment riddled universe Molly Hooper is the only one you’ve voluntarily apologized to?”

“It doesn’t prove anything” Sherlock dodged sitting in his armchair “I respect Molly, she’s my friend”

“You analyze her life choices and clothing preferences more than you do any other female in your acquaintance and that includes mummy, Mrs Hudson, Mary Watson and Me” Eurus listed off ticking her fingers “I don’t have much experience with actual friends but as the social manipulation expert in this family I can tell you that friends do not do that”

“I do NOT analyze Molly’s life choices, I deduce them and offer helpful advice, which according to John IS what friends do”

“Then why do you always hold your deductions whenever the topic of sex comes up around her?” Eurus challenged him with a smug smile as if to say 'go ahead, try to deduce yourself out of that question’ “it wouldn’t happen to be because your mind palace automatically supplies complimentary material would it? You used to say that intercourse was part of human nature”

Sherlock internally blanched, his sister really knew too much “because it has come to my attention that talking about someone else’s sexual habits and preferences in a social setting is potentially embarrassing for them”

“I see I’ll have to help you along, honestly your level of denial is quite impressive” If Eurus had been a little younger she’d have reached for fake glasses and written Sherlock’s name on a clipboard like she used to do when she’d mockingly declared she wanted to be a psychologist after her tenure in Sherrinford “why if its potentially embarrassing do you still do it to virtually anyone…exept Molly?”

“Because Molly is different, she’s not an idiot, she’s useful to me and good at her job”

“So you get no satisfaction out of making her feel like an idiot I understand, yet one could argue that Mycroft and I arent idiots either and you infer about our sexual lives often enough” Eurus pointed out taking a spoonful of gelato “why is molly different?”

“Because she is!” Sherlock grunted instantly regretting it by the knowing look his younger sister was giving him “what I mean to say is that, talking to her about the subject never feels correct to me, Molly isn’t …”

“Able to talk about sex like a normal adult? Why Sherlock she’s a healthy woman in her thirties who disects naked human bodies for a living, I would think she’s probably very open about it” Eurus ventured innocently “her past boyfriends seem like they were enjoying themselves at the very least”

“Would you please stop taking about Molly Hooper and sexual expertise in the same sentence!” The consulting detective finally snapped

“You ruin all her relationships”

“Its not my fault that she seems to attract men with criminal tendencies”

“Oh please, you announce to any who can hear the most inconsequential things, who cares if the paralegal with the bleach teeth was evading his taxes? His only crime was talking to your precious pathologist during her lunch break” why was it that Eurus always managed to sound fifteen whenever she tried to meddle in his life?, she was a genius in all parts of her life, but as a sister Eurus Holmes could really be a pain in Sherlock’s ass when she wanted to be"If you haven’t deduced it, I’ll have you know even James could tell that her relationships are your blind spot”

“Please don’t remind me about the famous 'Jim from IT’ considering that masquerading as Molly’s date isnt an ideal way of meeting my younger sister’s psychopath boyfriend ”

“ Life partner” Eurus corrected without missing a beat “James and I don’t use amaeba terms to classify our conection” then remembering something funny she added with a chuckle “The 'Molly factor’ blindsided your deductions so badly you even thought James was gay, as if someone like him would limit himself by the sexuality and gender of his partners”

“Nowdays I even doubt that he’s limited by their consent, species or lack of pulse” Sherlock rolled his eyes, glaring at his sister “But then again he’s saddled with you, so what should I expect? After all I’ve seen his bruises and heard the tortured screams”

“What can I say I like things rough and James is the only man I know who gives as good as he gets” Eurus shrugged and Sherlock had to remind himself that she wasn’t the type to worry about the gender, sexual orientation, lack of consent or inmorality of her sexual acts either “he has a certain je nes se quais that fits me so well”

“Spare me the details Eurus, there’s a reason I never frequent your Knightsbridge flat”

“Me thinks the gentleman doth protest too much, your Molly hasn’t been raised under a rock you know, why, if my airlines didn’t keep me so busy I’d think I might even grow to like her, I would wager my escapes with James wouldn’t shock her”

“Keep your evil machinations away from Molly Hooper sister mine” Sherlock warned narrowing his eyes “You already played you games with John and it almost cost him his marriage, if you so much as try the same on Molly so help me science I will make you regret it”

“Why would I want to make my future sister in law despise me?” Eurus laughed letting Sherlock see in her eyes a glint of the madness she kept firmly under lock and key in the confines of her own mind palace “you should really hasten that love confession Sherlock, you won’t be virile forever you know, after all we don’t know if all those drugs you’ve taken in the past have affected your fertility” she taunted in a sing song voice

“I’m perfectly fertile and perfectly virile! Molly would have nothing to complain about in that aspect” Sherlock exclaimed outraged realizing belatedly thst he’d falken for Eurus’ bait “I meant it in a purely hypothetical situation”

“ARGH I blame Mycroft for this! If he hadn’t put the 'emotions are evil’ mantra in your head you wouldn’t be acting like a preschooler pulling the pigtails of the girl he fancies” Eurus groaned putting her head in her hands “what have I done to deserve this?” The answer : probably a lot

“Funny, Mycroft blames you for crippling Victor’s legs in that blasted well and coloring my perception of human relationships with trauma”

“He locked me in SHERRINFORD for three years because of it, excuse me if I disregard his opinion on the state of your psyche”

Sherlock sighed, he supposed they all were self fulfilling prophecies, being the middle child in a family of geniuses had never been easy, specially because their whole sibling dynamic hinged on Sherlock’s hability to stay neutral in the feud between Eurus and Mycroft, who by all means hated each other during a good day

But Eurus liked Sherlock and Mycroft liked Sherlock so they made an effort to not attempt mutual murder if it kept them in their middle brother’s good graces.

“Sherlock you leave me no choice! If you don’t get your head out of your rectal cavity where Molly Hooper is concerned and tell her that you love her I’ll have to force the issue with Mycroft” Eurus outlined in no uncertain terms, eyes flashing the way they only did when she played violin “and believe me I won’t be as nice to him as I’m to you”

“It would take a battering ram to knock down Mycroft long enough to give papa grandchildren and we both know it” Sherlock exclaimed, then narrowing his eyes the posibility that Eurus was in fact unhinged enough to put her brain to the task of breaking Mycroft “you wouldn’t, even YOU have to draw a line somewhere”

“Andrea has been working with him for how long? Since high school if I’m not mistaken, I happen to know a philanthropic a armament mogul that is looking for a public relations manager and well…How bored must Andrea be in that silly little desk, chained to our brother, doing paperwork all day, a woman of her capabilities deserves more and Mycroft doesnt let her do an ounce of fieldwork, if I happened to offer the position to her, adding the fact that our mogul has the highest number of assassination attempts in any bounty hunter’s book, she’d accept right away, if only to get to use her fancy guns” Eurus began innocently as tough outlining her lunch break plans

Deducing exactly who she was referring to Sherlock groaned “Nikolai Udinov? You would send Andrea to manage the life of that reprobate? Mycroft would never allow it”

“Well what do you expect? If Andrea leaves her job and him for good I calculate that it will take Mycroft less than two months to crack, she does his laundry, paperwork, calls, orders him his cakes, decorates his bunkers, manages his agents with an iron fist, Andrea practically breathes for him and Mycroft needs the wake up call” Eurus smiled with a hint of malice “so many agents have fallen in Udinov’s maze of secrets…It would be a pity if Mycroft’s greek flower was next”

“That’s because Nikolai Udinov is the type of assignment that goverment agents train for years to take on, the bullseye in his back is larger than Mycroft’s ego ” Sherlock snapped wondering again why he hadnt trottled his sister yet “you’d be manipulating Andrea into strong arming Godfather Death”

“Correction Mycroft will THINK she’s taking on Godfather Death” Eurus snapped rolling her eyes “She’ll be fine, I wasn’t lying when I said Agent Anthea is quite competent and she’s been wanting to do fieldwork since her thirtieth birthday, my people will make sure she doesn’t get killed”

Sherlock didn’t even want to ask about who 'her people’ were, like he did with Mycroft and they did with him, the less the Holmes siblings knew about eachother’s ocassional dabblings in the wrong side of the law the better “You’ll just have Mycroft believe she is, but why?”

Eurus huffed tempted to just repeat Sherlock’s famous 'you see but you don’t observe’ dribble that he always spewed to John Watson “Because it will kill Mycroft to lose Andrea and I’ll enjoy seeing him suffer” Eurus shrugged “think about it Sherlock, Andrea has been a fixture in Mycroft’s life since your uni days, the only time you and I see him without her is on social situations and even then she’s always one text away from him, he trusts her with all of his sensitive information”

“You assume that he cares about her” Sherlock snorted mystified “Mycroft doesnt do sentiment Eurus, not even for Andrea”

“Oh how blind my brothers can be when they wish to” Eurus laughed taking out a bag of chips from her purse and biting a couple “I don’t assume, I KNOW, just as I know that you love Molly, the difference is that Andrea is more likely to wait to have children, but as I said I’ll force the issue if I have to”

“If Agent Anthea dies because you wanted to get out of giving our parents grandchildren then forget about Sherrinford, he’ll hire a submarine and drop you in the Atlantic with a crew of deaf personell”

“You could also tell your morgue mouse that you love her, then I wont have to threaten Mycroft’s potted plant”

Eurus like always, had a better grasp of the ins and outs of sentiment than her two elder brothers, a fact both Sherlock and Mycroft often resented, because while Sherlock fought his battles with logic and Mycroft with dry politics, Eurus manipulated people using their emotions against them. She’d rarely used her 'gift’ on Sherlock preferring to keep herself occupied with her chain of airlines and her side work as a data analyst (when she wasn’t dabbling in her illegal hobbies) apparently tough she was doing it now.

Sherlock didn’t find it amusing.

“I suppose I should be grateful that you have not threatened to kill Molly yet and instead chose to talk to me about it in a rational way, isn’t that what your point is?”

“Yes! And I feel deeply offended that you don’t appreciate the gesture, I could have bulldozed trough your childhood traumas just to make you see sense” Eurus huffed clearly not happy by Sherlock’s lack of gratitude “I don’t see why you wont just admit the truth”

“You’re seeing things where they don’t exist, don’t you think that if zi loved Molly I would know?”

“NO! BECAUSE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND SENTIMENT” she shot back with an angry glare, then Eurus sighed and did the one thing that always brought Sherlock to his knees, she opened her big dark eyes and gave him a very sincere part of her vulnerability “Sherlock” she began, her tone belying how much she wasn’t trying to manipulate him this time “you’ve been there for me trought all the hard things in my life, you who have supported me even in things we both know you knew better than to support…Is it really such a surprise to know that I want to see you happy?”

“as my little sister, wanting to see me happy comes with the territory” Sherlock replied putting the desert down and returning her sincerety “the truth is that I don’t see a future where I can keep Molly safe, I have too many enemies…she deserves better than me, she always has”

“And yet she loves you, all of you, far strongly than you deserve”

“Foolish woman that she is” Sherlock chuckled “I can’t love her Eurus, I’d be placing a red mark in her forehead if I did”

“Sherlock, there’s always going to be Blackwoods, Magnussens and Black Lotus organisations in this world, in fact there’s drunk drivers and bad weather and unhealthy eating habits all who cause death on daily basis, but for you there’s only one Molly” Eurus tried reasoning softly “ its hard enough for people like us to form lasting human connections, I’ve come to learn it takes years of persistence to completely bond with someone else and the fact that you are capable of it is something I’ve always admired far beyond Mycroft’s Iceman facade”

“Speaking from experience?” He raised an eyebrow taking care not to break the fragile bubble of vulnerability they’d reached

“Its always nice to know that there’s always someone out there who will care about you beyond the trappings of your psyche” Eurus agreed cryptically, giving Sherlock a tiny insight into the twisted reason why his sister hadn’t allowed Moriarty to blow his brains off after Sherlock’s fall “isn’t that how Molly makes you feel? I admit she’s no Nocturne like Irene Adler in looks or sexual appeal but I don’t believe I could be wrong in what I see when you look at her while her back is turned”

“Don’t put Molly in the same category as the woman…Irene is a capriccio, an Intermezzo with too many Staccato harmonies and not enough tenerezza, more Opera than Nocturne she’s filled with high octaves and acciaccaturas, Molly is her own sonata”

“Now that is quite surprising” It had never occurred to Eurus that Sherlock might have a melody for Molly, mainly because if he did he’d want Eurus to hear it at least once, given her brother and her shared a love for violin that often lent itself to describing people in musical terms according to how they saw the world but honestly Eurus expected Sherlock to classify Molly as a chloral “how does Molly sound?”

“Molly is shades of Adagios, Dolce notes and intermitent Allegros, that rise and fall without damaging the integrity of the composition, any more notes and she could have been a ballet or a solft waltz” Sherlock sounded so sure, humming a few bars to let her understand the gist of his thoughts, always far more comfortable expressing sentiment trough music than in words

“I wonder why you have never played her for an audience” Eurus genius that she was didn’t need to see him play to hear the notes in her head, the soft tone of the violin and the spikes of the Sonata’s hidden edges “she sounds like comming home” was all Eurus could say after the song finished playing in her mental fortress “your very own masterpiece”

“Her melody isn’t for public to hear” Sherlock replied ruminanting in his sister’s words, because she had put into words the elusive title that he’d never given to the Sonata that belonged to Molly Hooper 'comming home’ was an apt name for the piece and if he was honest with himself he had to admit it had been that way for a long time, Molly herself was the kind of person who’s existence validated the part of Sherlock who needed a place to run to when things got difficult “she makes me feel accepted, when it comes to Molly I always know that whatever I do, or wherever I go, I will always have a place to call home in her life, the Sonata always changes in degrees of subtleties” hadn’t that been the reason he’d felt so hurt by her (failed) engagement to Meat dagger? Because he’d assumed she would always be there… and on the heels of that thought the realization struck “Because I love her”

Eurus could have clapped her hands in joy at the breaktrough of her brother, and to think it hadn’t taken any death threats, really Sherlock was so much better to reason with than Mycroft “then why do you keep wasting so much time?” She asked still trying to be understanding

“You don’t understand Eurus, I LOVE HER” Sherlock exclaimed in shock and Eurus could see the beginning of what looked like a very Holmes panic attack “And I’ve hurt her in the past so badly…and you KNEW” he was referring of course to the fact that Eurus hadn’t told him what she suspected since day one

“In all honesty I thought that you would have noticed your attraction to your pathologist since the moment you began your game of 'flirting for organs’ I didn’t expect the situation to last this long” Eurus admitted sheepishly reminding Sherlock of the way she used to intentionally assume that he’d clean his bedroom when he had a nasty experiment rotting in his desk, conveniently not reminding him to throw it away “its not my fault, its yours” So maybe his mind palace was undergoing a major rearrangement, Eurus could work with that..hopefully

“What do I do now?” Sherlock groaned putting his head in his hands “I love her”

“You do whatever mummy would do I suppose, she’s the one who is good at handling non-sociopaths” Eurus tried to help along “maybe you should confer with Dr Watson, I fear my continued advice in that subject would nderimental to your latest breaktrough” Aka: Eurus would not give Sherlock romantic life hacks, she simply wasn’t willing to.

“Mummy…would make lunch, maybe a pot of her favourite tea” Sherlock agreed pensively “and ease Molly slowly into the situation”

“Not too slowly, I want my first nephew to be born preferably within the next year or so” Eurus asserted as tough she were giving Sherlock her takeaway order “you will make mostly male children given both of your genetic profiles but I’d still like at least one of them to be named after me if possible”

“Have you ever thought that Molly might not want children? If anything she hasn’t agreed to even date me yet, let alone get engaged or conceive with me…”

“Tiny crime solving pathologists?” Eurus supplied when he couldn’t bring himself to say the word children “Sherlock a basic deduction of Molly’s life would point towards a desire for a nuclear family, more to the point she’d want it and she’d want it with you, the only sibling in our circle liable to be successful in raising another generation of Holmes geniuses” considering Mycroft and Eurus would most likely cause their offspring some degree of psychological issues with their parenting techniques, it didn’t sound so much like a compliment

Aaaand there went their bonding moment, Eurus was back to her manipulative self “Maybe you should leave” Sherlock muttered comming in and out of buffering mode “as much as I enjoy our interludes, I don’t think I’m fit for company or will be for the next few hours”

“Maybe I should, my work here is done” Eurus agreed rising from her seat and dusting her Pajamas “I expect that a sleepover wouldn’t be any fun anyway, not with the way your thoughts are shouting”

Noticing the changes in the tone of her voice Sherlock briefly paused his panic attack to regard his sister with a suspicious stare “Stay away from my pathologist Eurus, I mean it”

“I will, but be a smart boy and keep an eye on her, I heard your old friend Victor is back in town” Eurus attempted to joke “Maybe you should move her here for a few days, you know, for security reasons” And with that parting shot his sister breezed out of Baker Street leaving a very stressed Sherlock no choice but to phone Molly

“Gasp and Bloody Works what can I do for you?” Molly’s cheerful voice answered her mobile, Sherlock could hear the sound of a bone saw in the distance and deduced he’d caught her in the middle of an autopsy

A million thoughts raced trough his head but he settled for a mundane response, no need to alarm her “Bad time for a call?”

“Oh it’s you Sherlock, sorry I didn’t see the caller ID, funny you should phone I just got the most interesting body with a unidentified brain aneurysm, I thought you might find it interesting so no its not a bad time at all” she always sounded in good mood whenever he called, give or take a few exemptions, Molly always tried her best to be positive about everything including his cases.

“Really? A brain you say” Sherlock perked up before remembering the subject at hand “actually I was calling to ask for a favor, but the brain aneurysm sounds quaint, please save it for future study”

'smooth Sherlock real smooth’ mind palace john muttered

'Not now Watson’

Molly who knew him well enough to know that if he wanted to ask for something big he’d do it in person and not by phone had no qualms in replying “what kind of favor? Sherlock is this for a case?, you know that as long as its within my power I will help you”

“No its not for a case, this is more of a personal favor, I need to stay in your flat for an undefined amount of time” there he said it now all he had to do was get Molly to agree, because while this wasn’t the first time he’d used her place as a bolthole it was the one time he’d do it for sentiment’s sake and consent was important.

“Wait, why? Are you okay” the bone saw was turned off and Sherlock could hear the unecessary concern in the voice of the woman he’d just realised he loved.

“yes I’m fine, but I have reasons to believe that my privacy in Baker Street has been compromised” and he needed to make sure Molly’s hadn’t been. Lest Eurus perchance for giving people a push in the right direction landed Molly in the bottom of a well.

“By who?”

Sherlock gave a long suffering sigh and answered “by my sister”

An: I’ve thought up Eurus as a dark version of Georgiana to Sherlock’s Mr Darcy hope she wasn’t to occ, this fic is for all my Sherllolian folks on tumblr, who are just awesome

I think Buster Keaton has no fear. Every movement and everything he does is love; a love of nature, a love of entertainment, and a love of mankind.
—  Brian Blessed
2

Bonus:

anonymous asked:

ok but interpreting harry's lyrics is so much better when you're a larrie though. like woman. a boy jealous of a girl he likes? BORING. a boy being jealous of his boy bc he has to be seen with a girl? DAMN. kiwi... meeting a girl in a club or something? boring. making fun of the stunts? AMAZING ICONIC

the straights live such unaware lives. i would say blissfully unaware since that’s usually the saying, but i imagine it’d be more along the lines of hellish.

anonymous asked:

I want (need) you to expand (tell me everything) about that post about It and the 2016 Creepy Clown Crisis. (Really, if you have anything else to say about it I want to hear it)

Yes, take my hand and join me in what will probably be an incoherent ramble about something that is most likely not true, my love.

OKAY, SO:

I’m sure we all remember those #iconic Creepy Clowns™, but as a refresher- Creepy Clown sightings are actually something that have been like, an urban legend phenomenon for Y E A R S. Like, a very long time. I used to do a lot of reading on the subject seeing as I was that kid™, but now you just get a million and one results from 2016 and I’ve had too much wine to wanna bother fighting through that. But anyway, this has always been a thing. Just, like, sometimes you’d see a creepy clown in the dead of night, but the clown doesn’t fucking do anything and you move on with your life. I actually saw one in like, 4th or 5th grade? Didn’t die, it wasn’t a huge deal. But anyway, in 2016 things just SPIRALED THE FUCK OUT OF CONTROL. Personally, I maintain what happened was that your average urban legend phenomenon was happening but since social media is so prevalent now a lot of creeps got inspired and the whole thing got blown up because of that…but that’s not the theory we’re focusing on in this post, so whatever. 

Now, as I’m sure you’ll also remember, there were HUNDREDS of conspiracy theories swirling around the whole clown crisis- everything from demonic possession, to a ‘clown purge’, to people thinking Hillary Clinton had hired the clowns to freak out America even more so she could get fear votes. I’m not shitting you, those were all things I heard daily. But another, tamer, theory was: this was all a mass promotional stunt for the IT reboot. 

The IT reboot was highly anticipated and very debated- fans of the work were well aware that they had been trying to get this movie made for years but kept running into issues. When they finally started filming, they shot from June to September in 2016. The clown sightings ran from August to October 2016. This theory made sense- it’s not hard to believe that a studio would pull something like that, thinking it’d be a fun publicity stunt but then not really wanting to take credit once it got out of hand. That’s literally happened before, like the Montauk Monster and that Dear Charlie ghost thing.  Anyway, a lot of people thought this couldn’t possibly be a coincidence- like, I’ve even seen the actors asked about it in interviews (like they’re on the marketing team??), but none of them had much to comment. This will be the theory we focus on…just with a bit of a twist. 

Now, if your reading this and you’ve only seen part one of the 2017 movie and don’t know much about the book or miniseries 1) you’re a valid fan, I love you bitch, and 2) I’m sorry, but spoilers are coming immediately and every time I try to put one of those ‘read more’ cut offs my screen glitches and I loose all my writing bc someone out there is against me. So read at your own risk. 

Okay, as part of the ‘adult’ storyline, they go back into It’s lair in Derry and find out that It has laid eggs and set to work destroying them. There’s a whole fuck lot going on with this plotline, like Eddie and the Turtle™ are dead and Bev’s barely doing shit and Ben’s smashing babies while Bill’s trying to get inside the monster and Richie mourns his bf, it’s all a Mess okay, but the point is: eggs

Now, the notion that not all of the spawn were destroyed is actually…not new at all and somewhat debatably relevant in some of King’s other novels, but stick with me here. As far as the Losers know, they killed everything. The scars on their hands go away. It’s all very symbolic and they forget everything, whatever. 

But.

The 2017 reboot wasn’t exactly…that close to the book. Like, they kept enough in there, and they had a bunch of really small things that were Fun Little Call Backs For Book Fans (all the turtle stuff, Bev throwing that rock in slow motion with awesome precision, Pennywise taunting Richie with that decaying doll, stuff like that, you know?). But so it’s not completely out of left field to assume that Chapter Two would be very different as well? It’s not crazy to assume that the movie would end with like, a dramatic ass lingering shot of a few hatching eggs…Or even, say, a subplot that sounds like ‘the eggs hatched around the same time It woke back up out of hibernation and now there’s crazy attacks all over the place instead of Derry, but maybe if we kill the Main Beast that’ll kill them all’ (like a hive mind. you know what I mean.).

It’s not crazy to assume that. My wine glass and Shitty Writer Imagination That Never Lets Me Rest And Makes Me Over Analyze Works Of Fiction have 100% assured me of that. 

So, remember that theory that the clown sightings were just a fun promotional stunt that got out of hand…? What if- it was a promotional stunt, and setting the scene for the sequel (that still got out of hand bc humans are garbage people actually got hurt)

I don’t think anybody getting hurt was ever in the intention, but making headlines because Creepy Clowns are lurking outside schools, in cemeteries, seen trying to lure people into the woods, going out of their way to scare people and be seen as threats even if they don’t actually do anything wrong?? I can absolutely buy that as a promotion stunt…and I can absolutely see, oh, I don’t know, maybe the movie including some recycled Actual News Clips covering the events, taking advantage of all the crazy videos people posted online, stuff like that. Like, in the book and miniseries and 2017 part one, no one outside of Derry knows shit about what’s going on…but you can’t really justify something like that flying under the radar in the age of social media. You can’t. Kids would start turning up dead left and right and you’d sign onto tumblr and see a fucking ‘since the media doesn’t care enough and no one’s talking about this, let me tell you what’s going on in my town’ type post. You’d absolutely hear about it. There’d be twitter campaigns and all types of shit, there’s just no way around it. That Creepy Clown Crisis went viral for a reason

But Molly, you say, It didn’t always appear just as a clown! People weren’t harassed by anything other than the clowns in 2016! 

Well, my love, let me point something out to you- It is millions of years old. It’s got shapeshifting and fear manipulation down pat. Could you possibly hold new born babies to that standard? No. Do we know for a fact that It literally prays on children and likes to take the form of Pennywise the Dancing Clown simply because it’s easier? Yes. 

People weren’t that afraid of the clowns when the sightings first started. But then more and more kept popping up, and do you know what we had on our hands? Mass hysteria. Mass hysteria sounds like a perfect way for a bunch of inexperienced little hive mind monsters to get the hang of the hunting with fear thing

Not to mention Georgie died in September/October…which means It probably usually wakes up out of hibernation around then…I’m just s a y i n g. And the sightings mysteriously stopped around November…a good timeline for the Loser’s to have killed It and thus stopped the clown crisis…I’m just s a y i n g.

Like, can I definitely prove that the studio was behind that mess as a means to set the stage for the sequel while getting some fun promotion out of it? No, I can’t, and honestly I doubt it’s true, this was just a fun thought that came to me lol. But honestly…it’s so easy to see how well a type of plotline like that would work with the film, so at the very least, if they don’t take advantage of the Clown Crisis…I will severely Judge Them, because like, it’s all right there. It’s writing itself. Damn. 

The end, until, 2019, I guess. 

instagram

Hahaha 😂 We agree @brumottistar ❗️🚴💨⛏🎥👉 @proteamastana 🆒🆒🆒
・・・
Vittorio is a man who can find some fun in everything… but, this video has a serious message: please, respect cyclists in the cities, keep the bike lanes and don’t use it for car parking! #astanaproteam #brumotti #cycling #cyclinglife #respect
.
.
.
.
.
#socialpeloton #cycling #велоспорт #ciclismo #cyclisme #procycling #brumotti #brumottistar #fun #trick #stunt #astana #astanaproteam #passionforcycling #happyfriday

Made with Instagram
occupational hazard?

summary: peter and y/n try some fun, yet potentially dangerous stunts 

a note: i saw this post and died laughing and wanted to write a little something to go along with it. long story short, this is pretty much just crack and i wrote it to make myself laugh. 


“you’re sure i’m gonna be okay? this doesn’t seem like the safest thing in the world.” y/n peered down to the street below, “not that i don’t trust you.”

ever since she found out about her best friend being spiderman, she’s been dying to try this. 

peter turned to her, “was this not YOUR idea?” 

she shrugged, “you’re the one that agreed to it, so really, if we get hurt let’s just say that it’s neither of our fault. and if someone asks what happened we’ll say we both got hit with cars or something.” 

“okay. we don’t do anything TOO crazy to start. let’s just see if we can’t to that fire escape other there.” he pointed to the apartment building across the street.

“what if the person that lives there comes out and then what?”

“i’ll just be like ‘sorry whoever you are, i’m your friendly neighbourhood spiderman, doing his neighbourly duties’.” 

she was about to start listing all of the things that could possibly go wrong doing this, but then decided not to because this was her idea after all. it sounded like fun on paper, so really, it should be fun in real life too. 

“okay. let’s do this.” 

peter pulled the spidey mask over his face, “let’s do this.”

“so i’m just gonna do this,” she wrapped her arms around his neck, and placed his left arm around her waist, “and you’ll do this. do not drop me. got that?” 

“got it.”

she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. maybe if she closed her eyes, they’d be across that street and on the fire escape.

“peter. we haven’t moved. what are you waiting for?”

“nothing,” he scoffed, “nothing. okay. let’s do this.”

she closed her eyes again and this time, boy oh boy, they flew.

“holy shit! i did it! we did it!” 

“okay this time, i’ll keep my eyes open. it was a little disappointing with the eyes closed, not gonna lie.”

“i’m not gonna stop this time. i’m just gonna keep going. is that okay?” peter asked.

“yep. totally. definitely. at this point, peter parker, i trust you with me life.”

that’s reassuring, peter thought to himself, but i don’t really know how well i can to this with just one hand.

he kept that to himself, knowing that it would freak y/n out if he said anything. 

“okay. here we go.” he adjusted his grip on her waist, making sure there was absolutely no way he could let go.

“yes. this is great.” y/n muttered, keeping her eyes forward and not to the moving street below her.

everything was going good, the two of them were having fun. everyone was having fun. it was all fun and games until peter looked away from where he was going for just a second. 

“peter! peter! peter! watch out for the fucking building!” 

in some desperate attempt to save herself, she wrapped her both her legs around him like a koala. 

is this really going to help? no, probably not. am i gonna do it anyways? you betcha.

“we’re not dying today!” 

though those words were reassuring, they didn’t help. they were already too late, the two of them hit the side of the building with a satisfying crunch sound.

“peter? what was that sound?” she asked, the two of them sliding down the side of the building slowly and onto the balcony of someones apartment. it was almost like something you’d see in a cartoon.

“um, since i sort of manoeuvred myself in a way that only i hit the building and you have both your legs wrapped around me. it’s safe to assume that crunch sound was the bones in one of your feet.”

“you know, it doesn’t really hurt because my body is full of adrenaline right now, but-” she paused, catching her breath, the unwrapped herself from his torso, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? NOW MY FOOTS BROKEN? AND YOU’RE FINE. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL, PETER!”

it was sort of funny to him, how mad she was getting. it shouldn’t be, but it is. she rarely got mad at him, and when she did he couldn’t help but smile just a little.

he pulled off his mask, flashing her his best grin, “occupational hazard?”

“occupational hazard, huh? you better get this occupational hazard.” she pointed to her foot, “to a hospital before i start doing one of two things, crying or continue to yell at you.”

later that day 

“y/n! what happened to you?” her mother was fuming when she found out her daughter was admitted to the hospital with several broken bones. 

her eyes went wide, then darted to peter’s, who was sitting in the chair next to her hospital bed.

“i uh, um,” she was struggling to find an excuse, “i was standing too close to the road, and um, a car ran over it.”

peter almost deflated into himself, trying to hide the smile on his face. there was no way her mother would believe that.

“what have i told you? new york drivers are the WORST!” 

she nervously laughed, “yep. that’s what happened.”

her and peter exchanged glances, both holding back certain laughter.

“what can i say, being a new yorker, it’s an occupational hazard.”

e n d

another note: this is the stupidest thing i’ve ever written. but it’s funny so i can’t hate it

youtube

this is the episode that made me understand just how lazytown was the most expensive children’s show of all time

instagram

d.l.castro: Super sloppy! But just having some fun in the stunt room.#shadowhuntersseason2 #raphaelsantiago #vampsgottricks