fun pets

Aliens are so used to humans wanting to pet the most deadliest creatures they find because PUPPER that they have prepared on every ship with a human crewmate. They have human sitting duties and at least 2 chaperones when going planet-side, just in case they get any ideas.

Then a crew gets a human for the first time and it’s everything like what the Human Care Manual says. The human is loud, but pleasant, always joke around with the crew and was tremendous during that Flokkut Raid on Sector 6. The human even brought a camera with it to take pictures on the ship (it’s bigger than most, downright obnoxious in shape to some of the crew, but the human is happy with it, and a happy human is a bonded human)

So then they go down to a planet, letting the human explore with his chaperones. After walking for a while the group stumbles on a herd of Dwetts, elks with fish eyes and flippers. The aliens sigh cause it was bound to see creatures sooner or later, and turn to give Acceptable Reason #6 from the manual, when the human disappeared! They freak out because how did the human leave??? Does it have invisibility??? That wasn’t part of the manual!! But they hear their human saying “guys, stop moving! You’re going to upset them!”

They look down to see the human lying on his stomach looking through his camera, taking pictures. They were shocked, but did as they were told and sat down. For hours they watched the human taking photos, being as quiet as still as possible. This couldn’t be the same human??

When the human was done, it got up, stretched, and headed back for the ship. The chaperones followed suit. When they got back the captain was surprised that they returned without a creature (even with 2 chaperones, he suspected that the human would win anyway) but was astonished to hear what had happened.

“You didn’t want to take one as these ‘pets’ for the ship??”

“No???? Why would I? They aren’t domesticated, they need space to live which the ship wouldn’t supply.”

“But aren’t they cute in human terms?”

“I mean, I would say more interesting than cute. But seriously, how would we take care of it? How to feed it, groom it, keep away from all the sensitive equipment? It would be dangerous for us and it if we take one from the wild. You really want one that badly?”

“Wha- No! It’s just…you seemed to like them?”

“I mean yeah, it’s a new animal species, and I did take pictures, but not as long as I hoped for. Honestly you have to look at the ecosystem here before getting any animals on board.”

The captain immediately notified the Human Care Committee that their section on animal bonding does not apply to human subclass professional wildlife photographer

Adoption for Fun and Profit

I was DMing a 5e session where the premise was helping a young, mute elf child (Sunny) get back to their parents, with the promise of pay should they get back home alive (since the characters are all neutral alignments and otherwise probably wouldn’t do it). It becomes apparent that this kid has been living alone for months and probably won’t last much longer without a proper house and family. At the end of the session they find a small house with gravestones nearby and find out that the parents had died years before, and Sunny just couldn’t survive the trip back to the house alone and wanted help to get there. Sunny offers them their pay solemnly, clearly not expecting them to stay any longer than they need to. Without much hesitation one player who just adored this sweet child decided to adopt the kid as their own (completing a good part of their character arc).

DM: So… you’re taking in this kid, then? Yeah? Well! Alright, congrats, you’re a family now! That’s-that’s so adorable, guys. Gotta, gotta go back to school shopping, start the college fund.

[Some time passes as players talk about the choice.]

Rogue: I hand Sunny back the box of gold with a paper taped to it, it says “Sunny’s School Fund”. I say, “Listen, this here is—this is gonna be your college fund now.”
DM: Oh my god that’s so cute. You guys, you are ALL neutral alignments, this is so nice of you. That… that kid has 300 gold pieces in their college fund now I guess, wow.
Rogue: I—I took 50 gold out of the box, actually.
Table: *a beat of silence before uproarious laughter*
DM: I mean—I mean okay you’re chaotic neutral so this fits really well like—you would’ve earned 75 splitting it equally anyways, you, you’re giving back to—that’s completely fair.

My other pet name post was written with like an established relationship in mind, but I’d like you to consider,, sleep-deprived/tired/sleepy Flug just using cute terms all the time without realizing he’s doing it, even before a relationship, and Black Hat just cannot handle it

Black Hat: Dr. Flug! Where’s the invention I asked for!? We’re set to film in five minutes!

Flug (Half asleep and nodding off standing up): It’s right over here honey

This video was also made on her first day here. 🐰
She spend her whole life in a cage and she was so happy to have so much space. This is why we called her ‘Yoshi’. This is japanese for luck. The weird move she made is the happiest bunny expression and is called 'binky’ 🐇💖

4

We lost our power today! The neighbor’s tree fell and ripped the power lines down. Perfectly healthy looking tree too, with mild wind today. I was out feeding the quail when I saw the tree just fall down. The property owner came and told me he called a few times about this tree because the base of it was always wet and soft, so today was the day it fell. 

So during repair, the ferrets got a couple hours of play time on this nice cool day. Lyric and Avy are in the Spring Shabbies, but Pagan is still not shedding! 

Touhou OC yet again!

Inue Kibaki (牙木 犬江) is by far the strongest living being on the entire Youkai Mountain. She’s the most powerful and skillful of all the tengu, tougher than Momiji or even Tenma-sama, could beat up all the kappa, could probably singlehandedly take down all the minor mountain gods and even Yasaka-sama herself. Definitely. Absolutely.

(…..Yeah, that’s what she thinks.)

Inue is a very young white wolf tengu and trainee warrior, and has an ego quite unfitting of one so short for her age, for sure. She thinks she’s tough, and is always an inch away from getting into some kind of trouble with her overconfident attitude. She thinks she’s so cool with the bandages and the face paint and all, even though the reason she’s covered in bandages in the first place is because she’s not super very good at using her sword and is maybe a bit wobbly on the tengu geta. Despite this, she is always looking to pick fights, and beating people up is her favorite way to solve problems. Because she’ll always win, all the time. Totally. I mean, I guess her one good quality is that she is frighteningly determined?

The tengu elders are exasperated with her, naturally. And she isn’t overly fond of them, either. Like, for example, that shrine maiden that once tried to travel to the summit? She definitely could have beat her if only they’d have let her go. But no, they have all their dumb excuses like ‘it’s too dangerous’ and ‘you’re in over your head’ and ‘you’re only a pup’ and she’ll show you who’s only a damn pup and whoops she’s in time-out again and she’s screaming, what a shame. It never ends with this kid.