Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent.
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender says: "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket... he said: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. He says: "A beer please, and one for the road!"
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
De ja moo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before.
A priest, a rabbi, and Muslim cleric walk into a bar. The cleric, having abstained from alcohol due to religious restrictions, does not drink, and his friends decide to do the same. They spend the night laughing and having a good time.
A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they sensed the potential danger of the situation.
What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Your Sun Sign Vs. Your Ascendant Sign Vs. Your Midheaven Sign
Your sun sign represents your basic personality, your ascendant, or your rising sign tells you what people think of you when they first meet you, and your midheaven sign determines your reputation to people you haven’t properly met.
Sun Sign: People who don’t know me well may not realize that I am ____.
Cancer: harsh with people I do not care for
Leo: hurt easily
Capricorn: easily stressed
Ascendant Sign: Casual friends, acquaintances, and people I don’t know very well think of me as ____.