oliver/felicity, be careful what you wish for or curtain!fic
“So were you planning on telling you me that you were getting me a china pattern? Because I appreciate the gesture, but I’m leasing a townhouse and I have never once in my life invited twelve people over for a dinner party that required matching plates.” Felicity waved the invoice in between Oliver’s face and the toaster oven he was probably in the midst of breaking—Oliver hated reading directions, but he also burned toast on the regular, so it was a vicious circle.
“You liked them,” Oliver said. “Get that out of my face, please.”
She pulled the paper away, mostly because she was a little worried it would catch fire. “Are you sure you’re supposed to touch those coils? And yeah, I like them, but that doesn’t men I need to have the entire set. Or any of it, really. Not that I’m ungrateful. I’m just perplexed.”
“Ow,” Oliver said. Point for Felicity, she thought; touching those coils had been a bad idea. “If we’re going to get a house, we might as well have dishes you like. You can eat take-out off them and talk about how society warped your notions of adulthood or something.”
“You were listening!” She took pity on him and went to find a teabag to put on the burn before it blistered. “And what’s this about a house, mister?”
“A house,” Oliver said, like Felicity was an idiot. “It’s a building, and you live there. You watch HGTV, I thought you knew this sort of thing.”
“Don’t even try to out-funny me,” Felicity pressed a damp teabag into the burn and switched off the toaster oven before he burned down her kitchen. “I’m a professional. I just don’t know why we would be getting house, and don’t you even try to say anything about equity to me, my net worth is completely stellar without adding homeownership to the deal.”
“Felicity,” Oliver interrupted. His version of interrupting involved putting his arms around her, which Felicity might have enjoyed more if he didn’t also have tea all over one hand; her blouse was new. “I meant a house for us. You and me. A home.”
“The ‘I no longer know what home is, let’s build one together’ card will go over a lot better if you haven’t already made a downpayment on something”
“I have not already made a downpayment on something.”
“I may have inherited something.”
“We are not attempting any kind of remodeling until you retire, I don’t care if you hire a contractor,” Felicity reached under his shirt and pinched Oliver’s stomach until he took a step back. “It’s a cute idea, I like watching ‘This Old House,’ whatever, but you just took on a new trainee at your other job and there’s no way I can handle that kind of stress.”
"You don’t want a house.”
“I emphatically do not want a house, Oliver."
"But you like the plates.”
“I love the plates.”
He kissed her. Felicity forgave him for getting tea on her blouse.
A while after that, Oliver said, “are you sure you don’t want a house?’
“Oliver,” Felicity told him, “I do not. But If you want to move in, just say so.”
You're the real life Cecil to Jim's real life Carlos.
!!! ;w ;
fun fact the first time he came up to visit (before we were even dating) he said something really romantic and sweet and all i could muster out was “right back atcha… bucko…” and proceeded to feel exactly like cecil felt after he said “neat”
“Where to even begin with this guy. Carey Price has always been a top-tier goalie, but in the last two seasons his talent has been recognized by hockey fans, fellow players and officials of the sport. Recently, Price broke the record for wins for a Canadiens goalie, at 44 victories in one season! Carey was born in British Columbia, and likes to pay tribute to his western roots by rocking a cowboy hat. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree, as Carey’s father was also a professional goaltender. Carey and his wife, Angela Webber, call Kelowna, B.C. home during the off- season. Fun fact about this flawless couple: they were set up on a blind date by Angela’s friend, who at the time, was dating Carey’s roommate. Price is in the running to win not only the Vezina (best goalie) Trophy, but the Hart (Best Player) Trophy as well! So keep you’re fingers crossed people!!”
JackxPenn (fun fact: My youtube OTP another fun fact: I thought Trevor and Jenn were dating)
They’re my OTP as well and omg I thought I was the only one tbh cx
Who’s the messiest one:
Jenn is actually the messiest between the two of them. Jack finds some of her socks on the ground everywhere and he usually picks up the junk food and soda off the coffee table. But he doesn’t mind her messiness, he actually finds it very cute. Jenn sometimes plays around whenever he tries to clean up her mess, sometimes throwing another sock on the ground or another chip, and of course, it was Jenn, so he didn’t mind at all and continued cleaning.
Who feels the most uncomfortable about PDA:
Jack, he usually doesn’t kiss Jenn in public, maybe hug or hold hands with her, but never really kiss her. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her, he does, very much! It’s just that he doesn’t want to be very public with her since they are kind of famous Youtubers and people will go crazy, it’s kind of overwhelming to him.
Who’s the funniest drunk:
Jenn, since she just turned 21, she hasn’t gotten used to alcohol. Jack finds her very amusing while she is drunk, she usually spits out horrible puns and very immature jokes that he wished he got on camera and posted it on YouTube the next day. But of course, he is too whipped to do so, and helps her back home and puts her to bed.
Who texts the most:
They text the same amount, but Jenn is usually the one to start the conversation. Whenever Jack is on some YouTube business trip, she usually texts him and asks him about his day or how his trip is going and they just go from there. Jenn very much prefers Jack to be with her than texting or skyping him.
Who has the most embarrassing taste in music:
Jack sometimes makes fun Jenn’s love for classical music. She usually argues that it makes her feel calm and collected, but Jack usually just mocks her music taste causing her to throw whatever object is beside her. Jack just dodges whatever was thrown at him and lunges at the girl, attacking her with cuddles and kisses.
Who reads the most:
Jenn because Jack very much hates reading, he finds magazines much more exciting. Jenn sometimes explains to Jack why books are much better than the movies which causes him to fall asleep, she just rolls her eyes and smacks the boy with the book but then kisses the pout off his lips. She really hated Jack, but then again she loved him loads.
Who’s better with kids:
Jenn, since Jack thinks kids are demons. One time, Jack babysat these two twin terrors and he swore to himself that one day he was never having kids, then again, the pout on Jenn’s lips whenever he says that makes him have a change of heart.
He is too whipped you guys don’t even know.
Who’s the one that fixes things around the house:
Jack, because Jenn believes she is too fragile to fix things with her small hands. He usually rolls his eyes at her reasoning but fixes whatever was broken anyway, even if she did want to fix it, he wouldn’t let her because he knew one thing, the thing would break even more if she did.
Who’s got the weirdest hobby:
They both have a weird hobby, which is making YouTube videos. Jack is usually very loud and sassy whenever he makes his videos and Jenn is very loud and giggly whenever she makes hers. Combining both of the sounds together makes someone go knock on their door at 3 AM, giving them a noise complaint. They never really listen anyway, they find the noise complaints funny and become even louder.
Who cooks and who cleans up:
Jenn cooks and Jack cleans up. Jenn believes she is the master chef in the apartment when in reality, Jack is actually the cook, but he loves her way too much to even say anything. So he just cleans the pots and dishes whenever they were done and he wouldn’t mind one bit because while he is washing dishes, a soap war would end up happening and to Jack, nothing gets better than that.