Hello yes, I've come to request some good hc about UshiTsukki, favorite rarepare.
- Tsukki getting very frustrated when he attempts to use his Salt Powers on Ushiwaka and they don’t work
- Ushiwaka being pretty chill with Tsukki because he isn’t Hinata
- Tsukki having to sit through H O U R S of volleyball matches with Ushiwaka (“oh my god can we not watch something else????”/“no this is pretty interesting if you ask me”/“i wasn’t asking, that’s the point”)
- both of them having a mutual agreement that Hinata is annoying
- Ushiwaka normally suggests dates where they go to watch volleyball matches
- Tsukki uses NO FUCKING WAY USHI at full strength
- Ushiwaka gives in (most of the time) and lets Tsukki pick where to go
- Tsukki likes going to quiet cafés and libraries for dates
- Tsukki secretly worships Ushiwaka’s legs but he’ll never tell anyone
- Ushiwaka looks really fucking ridiculous in Tsukki’s dinosaur sweaters (they don’t go past mid-wrist, stuck there because of the muscle)
- and Tsukki looks really cute in Ushiwaka’s giant sports jackets
- Ushiwaka can’t cook at all and it’s the funniest fucking thing (“have you ever even been in a kitchen??????”/“no, my mom did most of the cooking at home”)
- USHIWAKA HAS A SECRET WEAPON WHEN IT COMES TO TSUKKI BEING DIFFICULT: HE CAN MAKE THE FUCKING CUTEST PUPPY FACE EVER KNOWN TO MANKIND AND USES IT ON TSUKKI AND ON TSUKKI ONLY
- of course, Tsukki cannot Resist The Puppy Face and gives in
- Ushiwaka is actually super perceptive of other people and he easily picks up on things Tsukki likes, so he’ll regularly get Tsukki dinosaur sweaters and strawberry shortcake
- Tsukki doesn’t have the first clue about things like that so he always resorts to buying sportswear/new shoes/a volleyball for Ushiwaka
- Ushiwaka holds the title of Most Dense and Oblivious To Romantic Feelings and it took him three and a half months to realize he liked Tsukki (Tendou finally lost it and pointed it out to Ushiwaka)
- Tsukki realized his crush very early on but denied it whenever he was asked (it was painfully obvious, as he was told, to his dismay)
Dark keeps doing this, throughout the time he’s on screen.
We see him cracking his neck, rolling his shoulders, adjusting his posture. I think that that’s him, getting comfortable in Mark’s skin.
We know that he just regained control. We can hear him gasp when we look back at the stage and our vision gets distorted. That’s him, learning how to breathe in this body that he hasn’t had control over for a while.
The thing is, that’s all he’s doing. He’s learning and readjusting to this body. He isn’t struggling for control at all.
Even here, we see Mark fighting and screaming, because he knows Dark is in control, but Dark just keeps talking to us. He doesn’t even bat an eye. Mark is no more than an inconvenience. Dark is strong and experienced, and he’s waited a long, long time.
He’s been waiting for Mark to let him in again, but he’s tired of waiting. And it’s been long enough since he last fought Mark for control that he’s at full strength. He doesn’t have to fight for control, not anymore. He got it.
So even though Dark constantly shifts and moves, he’s not fighting. He’s just getting comfortable, because he’s not worried about Mark at all.
Maybe this means we’ll be seeing a lot more of Dark soon.
“There is a sort of refinement and crispness to light blue, but there’s also blue in workwear. It is a practical color, and a color that you can work in. In that sense, it is full of active strength. It was important to play with the textures and subtly introduce pattern and detail into the blue. […] The bloomers were really popular with Emma [Watson], She was always wanting to pull up the skirt and show the bloomers underneath.” — Jacqueline Durran
Gladio had left without a word. He didn’t tell you where he was going, what he was doing, when he would be back––nothing. He’d just disappeared one day with a kiss to your forehead, promising he would be back within a week. You’d protested and cried, begging him not to leave. But the way his shoulders set in determination told you that he wasn’t going to change his mind.
And so you waited.
The others had decided to press on without him, but you decided to stay at Cape Caem with Iris and Talcott. You knew that when Gladio was to return, that would be the first place would go.
Days passed, and the knot in your stomach grew larger and larger. You waited on the front porch of the old house for his hulking frame to come ambling up the hill, but every day, Iris had to tug you inside once the sun set below the horizon.
One morning, as dawn broke, you sat in your usual spot, unable to sleep yet again, holding a cup of Ebony in your hands as you stared blankly down the road.
And then you saw him.
You set down your coffee and rubbed your eyes furiously, wondering if your subconscious was playing an evil trick on you. But as his backlit silhouette drew closer, you realized he was there. It wasn’t a dream.
You rose to your feet and let out a small laugh of disbelief before running to meet him. He looked so tired, but the softness in his eyes when he gazed upon you didn’t escape your notice as you leapt into his arms. He buried his face in the crook of your neck and breathed in your scent as you held onto him for dear life.
“Hey,” Gladio’s voice rumbled in your ear. The sound was an instant relief that washed through your entire being. He peeled you back only momentarily, his hand coming to your cheek. His eyes took you in for the first time in what felt like an eternity, the tiniest sigh of relief escaping his lips.
He wanted to say something. To apologize for making you worry, for the sleepless nights that made darkened circles bloom under your eyes, for how you shook as you held onto him, like he’d disappear if you let him go.
Instead, he dipped down and captured your lips in a kiss. You immediately reciprocated, tangling your fingers in his hair as he tugged you close to the hard planes of his body. His tongue dipped into your mouth and you couldn’t contain the tiniest of moans. You felt him smile into the kiss, and it only made you deepen it even more. Your senses were filled with him, drowning in bliss without a desire to come up for air. He was in your arms again. He was alive.
When you finally pulled away, you kept your eyes closed a moment longer, basking in the feeling of being close to him again, the sun beating down on the two of you in that one, perfect moment. And then you opened your eyes and smacked him on the arm.
“Ow! Hey!” Gladio pouted, his arms encircling your waist. “What was that for?”
“I was worried sick!” you grumbled, burying your face in his chest. “Don’t ever do that again, you doof. Or at least call me next time so at least I know you’re not dead.”
Gladio sighed and kissed your forehead. “I’m sorry, babe. It was…well, it’s a long story.”
Your fingers came up to touch the area around the fresh cut on his forehead, careful not to touch the actual wound. “Does your story involve what happened here?”
He smirked, leaning down to peck you on the lips. “Yeah, sure does. Now come on, we have a lot of catching up to do. But first––”
You let out a shriek as Gladio hauled you up over his shoulder, heading towards the front steps of the old house. “Gladio! Put me down!”
“Nuh-uh,” he teased. “I’m back and in desperate need of a shower. And you’re coming with me.”
Needless to say, whatever pent up anger and frustration you had from his absence, Gladio managed to apologize for it––over and over and over again.
A group of practitioners with like minded interests, ethics, and beliefs. They gather together to perform rituals, to connect, and to learn. They often celebrate sabbats and create their own traditions.
Is a coven right for you?
Be cautious if you choose to join a coven, there are good ones and there are bad ones out there!
A coven helps you to grow and advance spiritually. You get to meet others with similar beliefs. They perform formal, organized rituals together. A coven strives to become a kind and caring environment for people to feel safe in. They are a closely knit community full of people who support and help you on your path. Together they perform rituals, celebrate sabbats, and create their own traditions.
Benefits of a coven?
Receive knowledge from others
Meet others with like paths
Scheduled and consistent magickal practices
Signs of a bad coven:
They consistently insult and undermine other practitioners.
Believe their way is the only way
Go out of the way to harm others
If your gut tells you not to trust them, don’t.
Lots of drama and politics
Try to force their beliefs onto you
Demand that once you join their coven, you cannot leave it
Promises your power and supernatural abilities.
You get negative emotions when around them
Signs of a good coven:
Lots of support
Treats everyone equally and fairly
Values your opinions and beliefs
Honors your studies as well as others
Knowledgeable and understanding people
Leaves you feeling happy, empowered, and full of strength
Things you can do with your coven:
Keep a community grimoire that is printed off at the end of each year. Everyone gets a copy to keep.
Celebrate the Sabbats and Esabats together
Meet up together to study and expand your knowledge on witchcraft
Grow a community Coven Garden
Plan out and create a calendar or schedule for your coven
Meet under the stars to discuss astronomical correspondences
Go on hikes or spiritual retreats
Get together to do witchy crafts and DIY’s
Visit local cemeteries to leave offerings for the dead
“Who would’ve guessed this costume-wearing bastard would be this strong… Both his power and speed are beyond anything than I ever imagined…!! What’s more, I don’t think he was even fighting at his full strength!”
Have you ever wanted to live the way a book makes you feel? Like, the book has such a strong aesthetic and writing style and story that it makes you want to just crawl inside that feeling it gives you and live your life around it for awhile.
this is a love story. the thing about love is that it’s not gentle or soft. not at all. love is strength, and full of terrible purpose. love is power. and it will never be done with you. ( venom #150 )
Eris the 10th Planet thru the Houses, Where in Life Do You Feel “Left Out”?
Discovered in 2005, from plates found in 2003, Eris
is a Trans-Neptunian Object, which is an astronomical term meaning further out than
Neptune. She was named a dwarf planet along with Pluto. She was Planet X, then
nicknamed Xena, then officially named after the brother of Ares/Mars, the
goddess of discord.
Eris entered Aries in 1923 and will not enter
Taurus until 2048, so almost everyone alive right now has Eris in Aries,
therefore making the house of Eris more personal to you. It takes 556 years for Eris to orbit the sun.
“Eris is one who struggles against injustice and
oppression. She has her war-like and even bloodthirsty side, with the higher
manifestation of defending the weak and standing up for oneself. Her placement
and aspects to other planets correlate to the archetype of the underdog
warrior, speaking truth to power, and with also a willingness to resort to
violence if necessary. Many manifestations of this archetype exist in the
present culture, and the discovery period is also coincident with the onset of
the Iraq war. This archetype represents a dire motif of the struggle for
survival that is inherent in the natural world, and in humankind also, and
which represents once again, as with Pluto and Chiron, a darker side of our
common humanity that must be acknowledged and faced in our time. Where she
located in your chart, you have the capability to make a powerful and perhaps
ruthless stand for yourself, and to battle against all odds.” –Time Passages
Eris in the 1st house: Your presence
is so radical that you don’t fit in with most people. You boldly state your
opinions and you might even get a thrill from causing trouble between people.
You are a brave fighter full of strength. You thrive on conflict as it propels
you to feel alive. You prefer revolution over tradition. You crave discord and
excitement as opposed to trying to find peace in life. You feel doldrums when
life is too calm, you always feel the need to take on challenges.
Eris in the 2nd house: You resist the
current system of economy and want to rebel against being dependent on money,
you’re the person who is cut out for growing their own food and/or living off
the grid. You feel a drive in your soul to not be materially attached, even if
you might have other factors in your chart that indicate a tendency to splurge
on possessions. You value sticking up for the underdog, fighting injustice, and living passionately.
Eris in the 3rd house: The school
system made you feel boxed in; your learning style might not grasp academic
lessons, but is able to absorb information when you are allowed to learn on
your own. You didn’t get all the attention from teachers that would have helped
you excel in the classroom, so rather, you reject commands of busy work
assignments and find brilliance by doing projects your own way. You may have
been made to feel dumb because you could not meet standards that other students
could, yet the chaos in your mind brings ideas together when you are given
freedom to learn at your own pace.
Eris in the 4th house: Your family
made you feel like the odd one out, they did not sympathize with you during
hard times. You had to break away from traditions and find yourself. The
universe gives you permission to shamelessly reject what your parents taught
you, as they may not have had the most well rounded perspective when they
raised you. They likely treated you with injustice and made you feel oppressed.
Eris in the 5th house: Your idea of
fun is different than those around you, so it may have been difficult to find
comradery (feeling of a connected community) until you found a group of people with a common interest. Your
hobbies are seen as strange, compared to typical activities that most people
enjoy. Your children may have a discordant temperament. Your romantic life is
filled with chaos.
Eris in the 6th house: You don’t fit
in at most workplaces, you resist being subordinate to a boss. You feel
oppressed by the daily grind and wish to find a more exciting job. You’d do
well in an action packed vocation that allows you to be a maverick. You feel
like you weren’t given a fair shot in the workforce and may excel more if you
become self-employed. Your health will decline when you act discordant.
Eris in the 7th house: Relationships
always seem to end up in flames in your life, which includes business partnerships,
lovers, close friends, etc. You wonder why can’t I just find that special
someone and make it last? You attract discordant people. Perhaps you haven’t
worked through all the chaos within you and so you project others as being
difficult. If you make a point to cultivate inner peace while acknowledging
your own inner wild self, you will draw in the right people who do not provoke
you too much.
Eris in the 8th house: Deep in your
soul lies discordance that you need to embrace and understand. You desire a
crazy sex life to let out inhibitions your chaotic emotions that you don’t get
to release in other areas in life.
Eris in the 9th house: You feel that
religion has oppressed you, you do not resonate with the faith you were raised
with and it is up to you to explore spirituality in many forms to find your own
truths. Traveling alone would be very therapeutic to you. You love the idea of
higher learning, but the structure of college doesn’t agree with you. You experience injustice in the college setting.
Eris in the 10th house: Your
discordant nature makes it difficult to achieve your career goals. You’d excel
in a career that involves helping others who have been left out, for example,
special education, infertility, adoption agencies, counseling, addiction,
women’s or men’s rights advocacy, etc. You are resistant to bosses that expect you to be subordinate, you have to fight to achieve the goals and jobs that suit you.
Eris in the 11th house: No matter how
many friends you have, you still feel like they don’t include you in their
lives as much as you’d like. You feel like a lone wolf, you don’t fully fit in
with most groups. If you find friends who appreciate your uniqueness, you’ll
feel fulfilled. Make it a point to seek non-judgmental, open, and understanding
people, and you can allow yourself to grow close to people who matter. You can
heal from any previous friends who betrayed you or any times you felt like you
had no one to reach out to.
Eris in the 12th house: You
subconsciously want to be alone in order to dig deep into your spiritual self.
You have sabotaged relationships and opportunities because you hadn’t worked
thru your inner baggage. Your soul has likely existed on other planets as you
feel estranged from this world in general. You can journey through other
dimensions because your chaotic spirit endlessly searches for more. You are
fighting a battle in your psyche, as Eris triggered the Trojan war. Your
chaotic nature has been suppressed, as you realize that too many people in this
world cannot handle you.
If you would like me to look at your entire chart
and how Eris makes aspects to your birth planets, I offer natal chart readings,
among many other services that you can check out at
“The face of Elrond was ageless, neither old nor young, though in it was written the memory of many things both glad and sorrowful. His hair was dark as the shadows of twilight, and upon it was set a circlet of silver; his eyes were grey as a clear evening, and in them was a light like the light of stars. Venerable he seemed as a king crowned with many winters, and yet hale as a tried warrior in the fullness of his strength. He was Lord of Rivendell and mighty among both Elves and Men.”
MY CHILD NEEDS MORE LOVE SO HERE I AM, WRITING FIFTY REASONS TO LOVE NICO.
Note: These are not in any order, the reasons are all random, also there will be spoilers and cursing.
1. LITTLE NICO IS SO CUTE. He protects his sister, “Don’t talk to my sister that way!” Plus he’s super nerdy and obsessed with mythomagic and pirates, HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE HIM?!
2. “You said you would protect her” Do really need to explain?
3. He’s so fucking powerful, but doesn’t use his powers for bad, or to show off (unlike some other demigods I know).
4. HE BROUGHT A WHOLE FUCKING SKELETON ARMY TO HELP IN THE IN THE TITAN WAR.
5. He discovered Camp Jupiter before anyone else.
6. He pretends not to know Percy, which must have been extremely hard for him to do, just to make sure that he doesn’t accidentally mess up the quest.
7. HE FOUND HAZEL IN ASPHODEL AND GAVE HER A NEW LIFE. WITHOUT NICO HAZEL WOULD STILL BE IN ASPHODEL.
8. His grammar is AMAZING.
9. He is so freaking polite.
10. At age fourteen, after already being in so much pain, he jumped into Tartarus. HE FUCKING JUMPED INTO TARTARUS. I REPEAT, HE FUCKING JUMPED INTO TARTARUS. HE JUMPED IN BECAUSE HE DIDN’T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO HAVE TO GO THOUGH PAIN TO CLOSE THE DOORS OF DEATH, SO HE WILLING DECIDED TO TAKE THE PAIN ONTO HIMSELF.
Plus, he saw Tartarus MUCH WORSE THAN PERCY AND ANNABETH, WAS BY HIMSELF, AND WAS ALREADY IN PAIN. AND HE JUMPED IN WILLINGLY. WILLINGLY.
11. According to the old myths, Ares, an immortal god at his full strength could barely survive being in the Bronze jar. NICO SURVIVED AT AGE 14 AFTER BEING TO FUCKING TARTARUS.
12. On top of everything, he had MORE PAIN ABOUT HIS FEELINGS FOR PERCY.
13. He’s gay, and it made me SO happy to FINALLY see an LGBTQ+ character in a kids book.
14. HE SHADOW TRAVELED A FUCKING FORTY FOOT TALL STATUE ACROSS THE WORLD.
15. HE IS STILL FIGHTING
16. Reynico and Jasico BROTP
17. SOLANGELO OTP. THIS SHIP IS BEAUTIFUL.
18. He is sane enough to continue to live, talk, and be pretty okay.
19. “I have a doctor’s note”
20. He has an awesome “Son of Hades” look
21. EVEN THOUGH HE HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH PAIN HE STILL TRIES TO HELP PEOPLE. ANYONE BUT HIMSELF. HE ALMOST KILLED HIMSELF BY SHADOW TRAVELING SO MUCH, JUST TO HELP THE CAMPS.
22. Nico is an amazing name. So is di Angelo. It translates to Nico from the Angels, I think. Edit: Okay so apparently, according to the helpful @the-forgotten-traveller his name translates to Victory of the Angels or the Angel of Death, depending on where his first name was rooted from. (correct me if I’m wrong).
23. “With great power, comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later”
24. He tries to comfort Reyna and defends her by killing that demigod roman asshole.
25. I’m pretty sure Will Solace had a crush on him.
26. “I’m a son of Hades, Jason. I might as well be covered in blood or sewage, the way people treat me.”
Despite that, he STILL HELPS THOSE PEOPLE TO POINT WHERE HE ALMOST KILLS HIMSELF HELPING PEOPLE WHO BARELY NOTICE HIM.
27. He speaks Italian.
28. He’s defends all of his sisters, Bianca, Hazel, and Reyna.
29. He’s sarcastic.
30. This line: “Not a word about the shirt. Not one word.”
31. He’s probably the most attractive 80-something year old ever.
32. He was THE FIRST DEMIGOD TO SURVIVE TARTARUS. EVER.
33. He listens to Techno Pop music.
34. He’s awesome at sword fighting.
35. He’s a classic “Looks like he could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll”
36. He was the only one to talk to Hesita and Bob.
37. Nico talking to Bob was the only reason Bob helped Percy and Annabeth in Tartarus, and therefore Nico indirectly saved the entire world.
38. He’s the ghost king.
39. “Don’t call me Death Boy!”
40. “Significant annoyance, in your case.”
41. He’s can shadow travel.
42. He helped Apollo in ToA, even though the gods have been nothing but mean to him.
43. Fuck that. Not only did he help Apollo, he HELPED ALL HE GODS.
44. Hades is pretty cool.
45. Nico is so relatable.
46. He’s such an inspiration, I mean, he’s been though so much pain, and is still a hero.
47. He’s stronger than everyone else, because not only does he have to do normal DEMIGOD stuff, he also has SO MUCH PAIN.
48. He’s not stupid, quite the contrary actually. He’s extremely intelligent, AND he stopped going to school at age 10. Let me repeat that, HE STOPPED GOING TO SCHOOL AT AGE TEN. AND THE SCHOOL HE WENT TO WAS FROM THE 1930S.
49. HE IS PERFECT AND AMAZING AND GREAT. YOU CAN FIGHT ME ON THIS.
My headcanon of how the reylo cliff scene will play out.
Ahch-to, sixth months after the destruction of Starkiller base…
“You’ve been busy,” Rey shouts over the violent sea wind that swirls in the space between them. “Did you find what you’ve been looking for?”
“You know I have, Scavenger.” Kylo Ren ignites his lightsaber at his side and its unstable crackle seems to drown everything out. Rey doesn’t reach for her own lightsaber, which is still secured to her belt. She stands her ground, waiting for him to come at her. She appraises the jagged scar that bisects his face, feeling a quick burst of pride at finally seeing her handiwork.
“I’m here for your master,” even though he speaks quietly, his words swirl through her head across the distance between them.
“I have no master.” Rey juts her chin out defiantly, knowing he won’t expect this.
He arches a single eyebrow, his head almost imperceptibly twitches towards the temple at the top of the island as his hair whips around his face from a massive gust of wind. He knows they can both feel Luke’s force signature up there, tucked away. Hiding like the coward he is.
“How did you find us?” She shouts at him, fists clenched at her side, itching for a fight and waiting for him to make the first move.
‘You know how.’ His lips don’t move but his words fill her head nonetheless. Her jaw clenches tightly, teeth grinding together at the invasion of her mind. At this close proximity, it is impossible to keep him out. Just as it is impossible for him to keep her out of his own mind.
‘You call out for me every night. It is all I can hear, all I can feel. You consume my entire being, your longing drives me to the brink of insanity.’ His thoughts are again forcibly pushed into her mind. The invasion of his words is excruciatingly warm and soft as his presence ripples along the edge of her mind.
“Enough!” She yells, hand finally going to her lightsaber. She draws it and lights it in one swift arcing motion, the cool blue glow pooling around her. ‘You know it isn’t me that’s calling for you.’ She adds as an afterthought, almost not meaning to send the thought to him. Only when his expression darkens does she realize he heard it too.
“So you think it is our bond alone that calls to me?” He is talking out loud now, approaching her at a steady pace. His upsilon class shuttle left empty behind him, awaiting the return of its pilot. “You think it’s the bond that whispers my name feverishly in its sleep?” His lightsaber is still dangling in a lazy grip at his side.
They are closer now, only a few aching meters between them. Rey stands her ground, gripping her lightsaber in a fighting stance despite the fact that he has yet to raise his.
“The bond that is practically singing now that we are finally together again?” He almost sounds hopeful. The hard affection in his voice makes her stomach turn over. She thinks of Han tumbling from the walkway on Starkiller. She thinks of the last time she saw Finn, unconscious and kept alive by machines. She thinks of Poe slumped in a chair at Finn’s bedside, whimpering in his sleep, nightmares of having his mind torn to shreds keeping him from getting any rest.
“The bond that is just another in a long list of atrocities committed by you,” she hisses at him, palms sweating against the warm metal of her lightsaber. She adjusts her grip.
“Oh, my dear Scavenger,” his lips peel back from his teeth in a grim smile, he shakes his head as if he regrets it, “you are so, so mistaken. This bond is your doing.” He sounds so confident and sure that it causes her to hesitate. He feels the doubt sinking into her and latches on to it. “You’ve known all along, you just don’t want to admit it to yourself. You pushed back into my mind.” He reaches up with his free hand and taps his left temple. “You created this connection with your clumsy and amateur fumbling into my head.”
“Liar!” She regrets the word as soon as she shouts it at him, he can see her weakness now. Her anger.
Her accusation seems to encourage him even more, his grim smile transforming into a more genuine one, which is the scariest she has ever seen him look. He looks as if he is a predator sensing an opening, ready to pounce on its prey.
“This is why you need me to teach you, you are too powerful for your own good.”
“I have a teacher,” she responds sharply, trying to school the tone of her voice into something calmer and more even.
He raises an eyebrow at this.
“A teacher,” she clarifies, “not a master.” Luke’s words to her when she had first arrived on Ahch-to float through her mind and she knows that Kylo can hear it as well. ‘It’s time for the Jedi to end.’
“Whatever you call him,” Kylo shakes his head as if to forcibly remove the voice from his mind, “I am here to destroy him.”
“You will have to go through me,” she straightens her back, preparing for him to come at her with that red abomination of a blade. He narrows his eyes. He can’t understand why Luke isn’t here, why would he send his student out to face Kylo alone? Surely he knows that there is no way she could best him in a fight when he is at his full strength as he is now.
“No, I need you alive,” he responds in a tightly controlled voice, still not making a move with his ignited lightsaber. The saber spits and hisses like it is dying for its chance to maim and destroy.
“You need me alive or your master does?” Rey knows it probably isn’t wise to taunt him.
“I do. I need you alive,” Kylo brings his fist up to slam against his own chest, she isn’t sure if she is indicating himself or his heart when he hits his left side. “Snoke wants you dead.” The treason falls from his lips and he is quaking with the release of it. The traitorous thoughts that have been broiling inside of him all this time are finally voiced.
“Then why not kill me?” She is whispering, she knows he can hear her perfectly fine even though the wind eats up her words as they spill out of her mouth.
‘You know why.’ His expression softens.
White-hot anger burns through her, at first she thinks it is coming from his end of the bond, but then she realizes it is from within her. An untapped well of anger is overflowing and tearing through her entire body, threatening to engulf her. Anger at him. Anger at herself.
She makes the first move, charging towards him with her saber in a two handed grip. He barely has time to wipe the startled look from his face and bring his own saber up into a defensive position. Their blades crackle viciously as they come together and she pulls back again to hack at him. She has practiced lightsaber forms tirelessly since Starkiller, she can be graceful and precise. Right now, she is a violent and angry creature trying with single-minded determination to cut him down. In the back of his mind he acknowledges this is the most beautiful she has ever looked to him.
It is all he can do to block her attacks without going on the offensive. She is backing him towards a cliff that drops off into the tumultuous sea below. He thinks about reaching into her mind and stealing her consciousness as he has done before, but he can’t muster the concentration necessary as she rains strike after strike down on him at a relentless pace.
His heels scrabble against the edge of the cliff and he dodges her last blow, sidestepping her and hoping she catches herself before she tumbles over the edge. She doesn’t. He reaches out with the force to try and stop her fall but it is too late, she has already disappeared over the edge.
He leans over the cliff, stomach twisted into a knot. He knows she didn’t die on impact because he can feel her life force still connected to his. A dark figure is sinking beneath the waves below.
Without another thought, he drops his disengaged lightsaber in the grass and dives after her.
The water is ice cold and the current is unforgiving as he tries to locate her. He unclasps his cloak and kicks it away, the heavy fabric is dragging him down and only helping the water as it tugs him in every direction other than towards Rey. He sucks in one last breath and dives.
The silence beneath the waves is terrifying. He has grown so used to catching glimpses of Rey’s random thoughts and emotions since they forged their bond that the lack of her incessant inner monologue is deafening. He finally catches sight of her, she is slowly drifting downwards. His grandfather’s lightsaber is sinking like a rock beneath her almost as if it sacrificed the heavy weight it bore to allow her to hang suspended in the murky water.
Her hair has been jostled loose from the tight buns and is fanned around her. He calls out to her mind, not with words but instead with a sense of urgency and panic. There is no answering feeling from her end of their connection.
He kicks towards her and wraps an arm around her waist. Her body is limp and arches backwards as he drags her to the surface. His pulse is pounding in his ears so loudly that it feels like it is the heartbeat of the ocean itself.
When they finally breach the surface he smooths her tangled hair back and pats her face with his sopping leather gloved hand. He pulls her head up, cupping her cheek.
“Scavenger,” he murmurs, “Rey, wake up.” He lets his forehead fall onto hers, trying to delve into her mind. It is silent, so terrifyingly silent. He can’t take it. Even when she sleeps he can hear her, or at least get an impression of her feelings. The nothingness is all consuming and far too cold.
The waves are still swirling around them and tossing them like a wayward piece of flotsam but Kylo clings to her as if she is the one keeping them afloat.
After too many painful moments, she splutters and the violent coughing fit is the best sound he has ever heard. He grips her waist tighter and slides her up his chest, making sure she is above the water and can gulp down the precious air she has been lacking. Her legs instinctively wrap around his waist and her grip is like iron on his shoulders.
“I’ve got you,” he soothes a hand down her lower back and she is still gasping desperately, a dead weight in his arms. Of course she wouldn’t know how to swim. It’s only by the grace of the force lending him strength that he is able to tread water for so long and hard enough to keep them both alive.
She looks down at him, startled, realizing finally where she is. She yanks back from him and he tightens his grip on her, not willing to let her fall back beneath the water. Not willing to admit how complete he feels holding her after so much time spent skimming along her mind, capturing the pathetic scraps of thought and emotion she would drop for him.
“I’ve got you,” he repeats in the same soothing voice, but this time it isn’t a reassurance for her and is instead a declaration of victory. She finally sags into his arms, the tension leaving her body, trusting him to keep them afloat. She buries her face into his drenched hair.
There’s a reason Himchan means “full of strength”~
Himchan has been so strong his entire life.
I am so unbelievably proud of Himchan, it’s incredible that even as a child he was this determined to live his life to the absolute fullest and he deserves all of the love and happiness in the world.
He’s dealt with body image issues, rude antis and fans alike, sitting out not one but two comebacks, and countless other things that we don’t even know about; he’s a real inspiration for those times where it seems nothing can go right that we still need to stay strong and keep on fighting.
Let’s pray for Himchan’s full recovery and let’s work hard to give him that extra strength he needs, not just while he’s on hiatus but every single day.