Boomer feeds his hose to Bruno’s eager mouth. Bruno works his tongue under Boomer’s foreskin and slobbers all up and down the shaft. They shift into high gear as Boomer uses his tongue to service Bruno’s hole. Eager to get filled up with Boomer’s fuel injection, Bruno lowers himself down on Boomer’s throbbing shaft.
You know what I wanna see in my science fiction? Brand new starships launching with v1.0 operating software on critical systems.
Software does not ship in states of perfection. There’s always some patch or critical upgrade that comes out four days after software launch day. You know that sometimes that patch has to come out four days after starship launch day, though, much to the consternation of the engineering and helms crew who have been flying at a 45-degree tilt because the right nacelle is cutting out every other cycle, but everyone’s too busy coping with the effects to look for the cause.
Like, obviously, if v1.0 weren’t able to drive the starship in most cases, it would still be in beta, and if it caused the anti-matter drive to overload under general usage conditions, it would never see release, but even though SpaceNavy coders are generally proud of their work and really hate when bad code goes out it does happen, usually due to ignorantly rushed timetables from Fleet brass. But you know there’s a coder somewhere waiting four days for the fuel injection code to compile only to find that it causes immediate catastrophic Total Ship Annihilation as soon as it’s turned on because she placed an extra closed bracket at the end of that seven-thousandth nested function. After 72-straight hours of line-by-line debugging, she finds it and starts the recompile all over again.
And no matter what they do, coders can’t contend with the actual user community. Like, SpaceNavy is chock full of modders posing as engineers and you know they’re always tampering and tweaking the code “to improve efficiency, Captain.”
In fact, “engineering conferences” are basically just modding community conventions, and the mod that gets all the acclaim is the one that makes the big glowy drive core glow green instead of blue. Half the attendees vow to come back next year with code that will cycle through all the human-visible colors.
I want to see replicators that just, no matter what beverage is requested, will only provide the absolute worst coffee anyone’s ever tasted. Of course, not having any real coffee while in transit, the crew just makes due. Of course after the patch FINALLY gets rolled out, orders come down from the Captain to roll it back because the new version gives other beverages, but can’t seem to make the terrible coffee anymore and everyone has become literally addicted.
Basically, give me actual corporate and military software in space. With mods.
Alfa Romeo Montreal, 1974, by Bertone. Designed by Marcello Gandini based on the 1967 concept which had been displayed at Expo 67 in Montreal. The car entered production in 1970 powered by a 2.6 litre fuel injected version of the Alfa Romeo V8 racing engine. Popularity was limited by its high price and unreliability, it cost more than a contemporary Jaguar E-Type or Porsche 911, and production ended in 1977 after just under 4000 cars had been made
‘We are uncomfortable because everything in our life keeps changing - our moods, our bodies, our work, the people we love, the world we live in. We can’t hold on to anything - a beautiful sunset, a sweet taste, an intimate moment with a lover, our very existence as the body/mind we call self - because all things come and go. Lacking any permanent satisfaction, we continuously need another injection of fuel, stimulation, reassurance from loved ones, medicine, exercise and mediation. We are continually driven to become something more, to experience something else.’
- Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha.
’ We’re gonna build a rollercoaster! ’
’ Wow! Isn’t that kinda impossible? ’
’ We’re gonna need a blowtorch and some more peanut butter. ’
’ Oh-ho-ho MAN!! I can smell the peanut butter! ’
’ There’s a world of possibilities… Maybe we should make a list! ’
’ Hub is overheating… Hub is overheating. ’
’ Well, it was definitely better than the gorilla in the cake. ’
’ Why, it’s… it’s… It’s beautiful! ’
’ Would that be electronically fuel-injected? ’
’ Why have snow when it’s too cold to enjoy it? ’
’ You guys are gonna need some help. ’
’ You know, mummies had their brains pulled out through their nose. ’
’ We must be going the right way. ’
’ And by incredible, of course, I mean completely credible! ’
’ Is my nose really that pointy? ’
’ Aren’t you a little old to be a professional boxer? ’
’ It all began on the day of my actual birth. ’
’ Nonsense, kid! Go for the gold! Fight fire with fire! ’
’ You mess with the bull, you get the horns, buddy! ’
’ With 176 million hits, they can be in diapers for all I care. ’
’ Wow! Is this banana hat for some cool tropical dance number? ’
’ The curse has been lifted, and you’re no longer a monster. ’
’ I really mean unexpected–what are you doing here? ’
’ Then I guess I’ll just find a nerd and take his underpants. ’
’ That sounded like screaming children. ’
’ We beat ya! You’re big old purple pickled eggs! ’
’ Yeah, now they’re gonna fatten you up so they can eat ya. ’
’ Wow, look at all the bells and whistles! ’
’ The last one home is a big ol’ purple pickled egg! ’
’ Oohhh! I can’t believe I am just stuck here. ’
’ How long are we supposed to just sit here? ’
’ Well, I suppose things can’t get any worse. ’
’ Well, I hope that’s not going to be an issue.
’ I fly into mud, with a paper bag on my head. ’
’ How did this chocolate river get here? ’
’ We will now lay waste to the surface dwellers! ’
’ Fantastic! You look like number one! ’
’ You guys heard that, right? It wasn’t just me? ’
’ Heh, heh. I know, I’m just messing with ya. ’
’ That’s creepy on so many levels. ’
’ Doctor? Since when are you a doctor? ’
’ Well, It’s a body of fresh water surrounded by land. ’
’ That, my friend, was a past life. ’
’ Don’t just stand there! Kiss her/him! ’
’ No! It’s going to blow the roof off this place! ’
’ No way! We are not your personal slaves! ’
’ Now you can go clean the toilet. ’
’ The real shock is you’re just noticing this now. ’
’ That would explain the talking zebra. ’
’ No rules? Well, if those are the rules. ’
’ Well, you know, they must be done by now anyway. ’
’ That was completely out of character. ’
’ Come on. Be a good sport. ’
’ What? I thought you said it was a roller rink. ’
’ Come on, come on! See? ’
’ Let’s see, what do I usually do? ’
’ They say if you love something, let it go. ’
’ Are you…sweating through your eyes? ’
’ Just turn off the home movies! ’
’ These are so much nicer than the ones I lost! ’
’ Close your mouth, honey. You’ll catch flies. ’
’ And just to express how sorry we are, here’s my credit card. ’
’ You have our permission to ruin us financially. ’
’ I mean, uh… I’d love to give it a try. ’
’ It’s even worse than I thought… ’
’ No more annoying songs about moons! ’
’ Oh, but I like a good toe-tapping dam song. ’
’ Actually, I’ve been trying to avoid you. ’
’ Can I get you to sign some liability waivers? ’
’ Why don’t you come by and we’ll all walk over together. ’
’ Like I said before, losing to a girl/boy doesn’t count. ’
On The Right Track: Ellaspede’s custom kits for the SR400
Next year, the Yamaha SR400
will be celebrating its 40th birthday. It’s been in production since
1978, aside from a brief hiatus ten years ago for a fuel injection
transplant and emissions upgrade.
How do you fucking afford to get Audis? Like honestly
I get them off of craigslist. I buy them used. I have a fantastic mechanic. He’s taught me which ones last until 400k miles, and which ones will poop out on me. I was in love with a black MK2 3.2 liter 6 speed manual and when I brought it to him, he said, “rachel don’t buy this one.” Or when I was looking at an A4, he warned me about the fuel injection on it, and deterred me again. I found a $65,000 dollar car, people think it’s 65,000, but I know how to find them at the right moment of depreciation, and i knew to buy from an audi fanatic. Someone who took care of the car like it was their own limb. I work my ass off in the emergency room, coaching AYSO soccer, tutoring physics and molecular biology, and I’m about to land a job at a bioengineering place making salary until i’m into medical school. That’s how. I study everything. Even something like Zquil. I knew that diphenydramine is the active chemical in Benadryl and that the receptor it binds to when stopping an allergic reaction is very similar to the receptors for alertness. Which is why you get sleepy when you take it. Now, i want you to take a guess at what the active chemical in Zquil is? You guessed it, the same as Benadryl. And you only get like 1/6 the amount of diphenhydramine, and you spend more money. Just read up on everything, you can say fuck the system like I do. Drive a gorgeous ass car for a fraction of the price because 1) no one wants a manual transmission, especially in LA 2) no one wants to buy a used Audi because of their reputation and 3) not enough people read up on shit. Oh btw, google scholar is my best friend. Peer reviewed, scholarly articles, my friend
Good wood - the aptly name ‘Woody’, a 1974 Ford Bronco that’s been given one heck of a facelift. Complete with a fuel-injected 302 V8 Engine, marine grade wooden panels, power steering, power disk brakes and 31" tyres. It’s a machine!
At the @sultansofsprint drag series next weekend, @vtrcustoms will be lining up their infamous ‘Polizei’ bike. It’s an ex-police R80 RT patrol bike, but this one is designed to break the speed limits. Fuel injection and a Rotrex supercharger now feed the blueprinted engine.
We’ve picked out eight of the craziest machines due to line up for Round #1 at @wheels_and_waves in Biarritz.