fuckyou

2

-excerpt from a book i’ll never write #28

Its really sucks you know,
being the person who always gives too much. the one friend who deals with everyone’s issues no matter the time or day, the girl who will stand by her friends and hold her ground for them.

And then to turn around and feel absolutely no support, to be surrounded by people who take everything from you and offer nothing in return.

I am through being used by fake friends who will throw you under a bus to better themselves the moment they have the chance.

before i met you,
i used to be able to close my eyes and see stars.
i used to be able to look in the mirror and day by day accept how i look.
i used to be able to laugh so hard i had tears streaming down my face and my stomach sore.
i used to be able to sit in a room quietly and in content.
i used to be able to smile genuinely.
when i met you,
i made you the sun, and i a planet, and i revolved my whole world around you.
i made your words into the only way i saw myself.
i made your jokes the funniest and others’ boring and even i couldn’t tell when my laugh was authentic.
i made your last words to me the only thing that i could think of and couldn’t concentrate on anything else.
i made your emotions control mine.
after i left you,
i began to close my eyes and see the entire galaxy within myself.
i began to realize my worth and let my beauty within shine through.
i began to laugh more and laugh harder to the point i could barely breathe.
i began to fill my silences with music and singing at the top of my lungs or thoughtful words on paper.
i began to feel genuine happiness.
—  i.r.p // you won the battle, but i won the war