you wanna know something that’s just, a shameful capitalist hellscape??


my eyeglass prescription has not changed in over 10 years so a.) i do not need an eye exam every year and b.) the way eye clinics treat you when you try to get a copy of your prescription (to which you are legally entitled if you live in the US) is anywhere on the scale from downright horrible to actually criminal

it seems to be universal that America’s Best is particularly awful about this. I buy from there once in a while because I haven’t found anywhere with a better price (yes, you really can get 2 complete pairs of single-vision eyeglasses + eye exam for $70 if you pick from their narrow selection of frames at that price point and don’t let them convince you that you have to upgrade your lenses or coating). when i asked for a copy of my prescription the associate checking me out told me they weren’t allowed to give it to me. when i told her that was an FTC violation she rolled her eyes and scrawled it sloppily on a scrap piece of receipt paper, to where it was completely illegible, and then wrote VOID all over it so it was unreadable. from reading online reviews, this seems to be how they handle it when people insist on a copy of their prescription. one review said they eventually allowed her to see the printout of her prescription, but wouldn’t hand it to her and would cover the relevant information with their hands. they refuse to give your PD, which you need to order properly fitting glasses online.

and every clinic will guilt-trip you for buying your glasses online, and imply that this is somehow detrimental to your health. like, glasses are an absolute necessity for so many people, how can you justify forcing someone to pay hundreds of dollars a pair when you can get them for ten bucks from a site like zennioptical

anyway, y’all, it’s against the law for an eye clinic to withhold your prescription, according to the FTC they’re actually required to GIVE you a copy whether you ask for it or not, but they will fuck you on your PD. I’ve heard of people getting their PD measured by saying they need it for a Google Cardboard or something, and the clinics are a lot more chill about it if they don’t think you’re using it to buy glasses elsewhere. but it still shouldn’t be such a goddamn ordeal to get your PERSONAL MEDICAL INFORMATION from A DOCTOR.

Happy Anniversary @ask-drunk-chara !!! This is still my favorite UT blog (along with *FTC) and it has influenced me a lot! Added Core!Frisk cause I miss their bday ;;

Core!Frisk belongs to @dokudoki

Hey guys, I don’t post my own content a lot, but this is really important. Two national robotics teams, Team Gambia and Team Afghanistan, have been denied vizas so they can’t come to what’s basically the robot Olympic Games (First Global)…it’s an awful situation.

We can’t really do much about it, but you guys could really post some encouraging messages to them bc they’re shipping out their robots and they are going to compete anyway, but they’ll be skyped in and that’s super unfair. Their team hashtags are #Teamafghanistan and #Teamghana and I’ll add links to their facebook and twitter pages as soon as i find them

Feigning The Connection

Prompt: You seem so invincible. But just touch you and you’ll wince. You have secrets and trust no one. You’re the perfect example of betrayal. Because anyone you’ve ever trusted broke you. Thrust into a new world, will you be able to stay alone, or will Bellamy work his way in


A/N: So I was so excited to get started on season three but I am still finding it completely unbelievable that i’m on season three. I feel like i’ve only just started this series and am back in the beginning. But nonetheless i am so excited to continue this series for another season and I can’t thank you all enough for the crazy amount of support i’ve received. it’s weird to think i have like my only little (very little but still largely appreciated) fandom. And also, I know this is a day earlier than normal so I hope you don’t mind. i do this in the hope I can get it up Sunday, rather than next Wednesday and give myself more time, but no promises.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Send me a little comment in the ask section or leave it below on what you thought of this chapter. It doesn’t have to be long, I appreciate every single comment I receive and telling me just helps inspire me to write it more frequently.

AGAIN, remember if you’d like me to continue this series, just leave a little comment or an ask letting me know. I will NOT continue the series if no one wants me to.

Pairing: Bellamy x Reader

Based off of: The 100 03x01 and 03x02

Warnings: spoilers?

Tags List: @super-river-walker - @dontstopxx 
Want to be featured on my tag’s list? Message me letting me know!

Originally posted by lunasof

A fresh start. That’s what you all needed. And it seemed that maybe everyone had been able to reach it. With everything your people, the grounders, everyone, had been through, you felt you all deserved it. Things had gotten better and things had gotten worse. The good news was Raven was doing better, Lincoln was now considered one of your own and you trained with him often. You’d grown quite close to the Trikru member, now that you found yourself at a lost with what to do with yourself. And it felt as if everything was finally coming together, peace had been restored and there hadn’t been an attack in so long, you believed it.

Your father and yourself had grown closer than ever. And though there was still many ties that needed to be mended you felt like you could actually view him as your father rather than just stating he was. You found trust in him and he in you, and you couldn’t have been more happier. You knew that Marcus would never quite forgive himself for the ignorance he’d given you since a small child but you yourself had already forgiven him. Though the thought on it’s own made you laugh. 

Back on the Ark, in solitary and when on the ground, you’d been dead set on the idea you’d never forgive your father for everything he’d done for you. You thought you’d never forgive yourself for all that happened. But you had come to terms with what you’d done and you’d forgiven your father the minute he finally told you he loved you.

But, there was always bad news. Clarke was gone, and you hadn’t heard from her in forever. Jasper hadn’t quite forgotten the events in Mount Weather and held such rage and anger within him, it looked as if it’d never leave him. And then of course one being you hadn’t really spoke to Bellamy ever since blowing him off that day. You hadn’t really seen much of him either except for missions together or passing by each other walking through the Ark. You both were polite with each other, but the bond you’d shared before had seemingly disappeared.

Regretfully though, it didn’t seem Bellamy was all that upset. He had even managed to find himself a new girl that he cared for. It was selfish for you to feel jealousy as it had been you who had turned him down. But you didn’t share your distaste with anyone, and rather you kept it to yourself respectfully. Thinking back to that day you’d walked away from him, walked away from your friendship with him, and wondering if that had been the right choice. And thinking back to last few months, Bellamy hadn’t even looked upset. He seemed to carry on with his life, and you didn’t know what hurt more. The fact that you were greatly upset by it, or the fact that Bellamy didn’t seem to care.

“We’re going into sector seven.” 

Walking through the doors to your father’s quarters, you paused when you saw Bellamy. Unsure if you should stay in the room or leave, but catching your father’s eye, you relented, stepping into the room and leaning against the wall. You kept your presence unknown or at least you thought unknown from Bellamy, and silently listened in on the conversation. “I think we should arm the entire unit.” Bellamy offered.

“Permission granted,” Marcus nodded, “but the rules of engagement still apply– nonlethal response.” Bellamy nodded, repeating copy that and turning towards the door which of course meant turning towards you. You straightened up when his gaze fell on you, looking up into his eyes as he stared down at you in shock. You were about to say something before your father interrupted; “Bellamy,” he called, turning Bellamy’s attention back on himself. “There hasn’t been an attack since Mount Weather. That’s three months.”

You paused, shocked to hear it had been that long. You hadn’t really been keeping up that much with how much time passed but you knew it had been a few months. Three months to be exact. Three months since you’d talked to Bellamy.

“Our people believe that this is real peace. Try not to screw that up.”

“Yes, sir.” Bellamy nodded and you could see the hint of a grin on the side of his face. Turning to your father, you watched with the side of your eyes as Bellamy left, staring expectantly at Marcus. He smiled, nodding; “you can go.” He agreed and you smiled, thanking him before running out the door. Catching sight of Bellamy’s back. Without thinking, you called out for his name. 


He paused, stopping his steps and turning slowly around to you. You couldn’t lie that there was definite tension between the two of you and you weren’t sure how to react to it. You two hadn’t had this kind of tension since when you’d both been sent down to the ground at first. It was awkward and felt unnatural. But still, you pushed it aside, catching up to him easily enough and smiling up at him. “I’m coming with.”

You though maybe he’d fight you but instead he grinned, and you tried not to melt at the sight. You hadn’t seen him smile at you in so long. Chuckling, he stared down at you, shaking his head; “you haven’t changed have you?”

Walking through the doors behind Bellamy, you caught sight of Monty, confused as to why he didn’t seem ready. It seemed Bellamy thought the same as his deep voice asked; “Monty, why aren’t you ready?” Monty unclasped his hands, turning around to the both of you.

“I am. He isn’t.” Monty grunted out, his eyes falling to beside you. Following the direction of his gaze you found Jasper, passed out on the ground with a cup laying on his stomach. You winced, knowing this couldn’t be good. Jasper hadn’t really been sober in three months, ever since losing Maya, it had done stuff to him that you didn’t know how to help with. 

You walked with Monty and Bellamy, falling beside Monty as you stared pitifully down at Jasper’s body. “What should we do?” You asked, turning to them both. “We should leave him this time.” Bellamy suggested, biting his lip. You opened your mouth in shock, completely not agreeing with Bellamy’s suggestion. Jasper need help and though you knew that everyone had been trying and he’d only been pushing it away, being abandoned wouldn’t help either.

“He’s not getting better.” Monty scoffed and it wasn’t hard to see the worry in his eyes. “Maya’s death broke him. He needs this.” Bellamy exhaled, looking back in the direction you all needed to go and his gaze fell on you, shrugging, you nodded, agreeing with Monty. He sighed again, looking back at Jasper. “Take an arm.” He ordered Monty, stepping forward and grabbing ahold of Jasper. Jasper grunted loudly as they supported his weight up. You waited for them to pass, allowing them to walk before you and following behind them.

It didn’t take long to reach the jeep and soon enough you were standing beside it, helping Jasper stand steady.

“Zeke, I said produce first.” Your heart fell when you heard her voice, reluctantly turning to see Bellamy walking off towards Gina. “Art doesn’t go bad.” Gina continued, looking up with a bright smile when she caught sight of Bellamy. You watched with heavy eyes as they shared a conversation you couldn’t hear, remembering when you and Bellamy had been that close.

“Hey,” Monty called, ripping your attention from the two. He offered you a sympathetic look; “you okay?”

“Yeah.” You whispered, allowing your gaze to fall on Bellamy one last time before looking away. Nodding over at Monty, you smiled; “yeah.”

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s a long ride.”

You listened to the music as it started to play, softly bumping your head to the music as you smiled at Miller in front of you. He shook his head, laughing at your weird antics. Grinning up at him, you watched as he started beating his hands to the beat, smiling as you joined him. Soon enough the lyrics started and Jasper started to sing along.

Then before you knew it Raven was singing. You smiled brightly, not remembering the last time you’d been able to have fun like this. Forgetting yourself in the moment, you lightly bumped Bellamy, smiling up at him when he looked down at you. You raised an eyebrow, already knowing he knew what you wanted. And soon enough he was smirking, lightly moving to the song. Monty began singing as well and you giggled, waving your hands in the air dramatically.

Jasper crawled around to the back, singing along with the lyrics. Leaning back slightly, you allowed him room so he could climb to the top, screaming out. You laughed along with the rest before all of a sudden the music was shut off. Eyebrows furrowing, you turned to the front in confusion as Raven seemed concerned. “Tracking beacon from the Ark.” Monty mumbled, moving so he was in the front. 

The rover stopped, Jasper coming down from the top as he looked at you all. “Hey that was the best part.”

“Who is it?” Bellamy asked, Monty grabbing ahold of the tracking device and taking it off the front of the car. You watched hesitantly, grabbing ahold of your gun and scooting further forward. “Farm station.” Monty stated, and you narrowed your eyes. That doesn’t make any sense.

“But… four months ago- how?” Miller asked.

“We’ll find out, where are they?”

The back door screeched open, revealing sun. Turning you gazed at Octavia as she slouched; “don’t tell me I missed the party.” She teased sarcastically. 

“Sector eight.” Monty finally answered, turning back to the rest of you. Staring at those around you, you shook your head; “that’s ice nation.”

“What about it?” Octavia asked, confused.

“Protocol says we head home. Let the chancellor decide what we do next.” Raven informed, and you turned to Bellamy, knowing he’d have the final say in the matter. But part of you already knew what he was going to say and though you should’ve been the one to disagree with his next words, no part of you wanted to.

“Screw protocol.”

“Jasper!” You called, reaching out to him. He easily shoved your hand off, continuing to walk towards the threat.

“Jasper- hey what are you?-”

“Jasper!” Octavia whispered, grabbing ahold of Jasper’s shoulder much like yourself. Though he only shrugged her off as well, walking forwards as he stumbled slightly, still clearly drunk. “It’s okay. I’ve got this.” He insisted, walking towards the enemy. Bellamy turned to Octavia in panic; “tell them we observe the commanders truce. Do it now!”

Octavia stepped forward just as Jasper reached the Azgeda men. You listened to her shout in grounder language, trying to pull the men’s attention away from Jasper and on the words she was speaking. Though the men holding arrows slowly lowered them, the man Jasper had walked up to kept his eyes on the threat before him. Jasper raised his hand and grabbed ahold of the signal, ripping it from the man’s clothes. You gasped, shocked that he would do such a stupid thing. “This belongs to us.”

You knew Jasper was struggling right now but this was about the stupidest thing you’ve ever seen him done. Yeah, sometimes he did dumb stuff to look brave or for the greater good but this was as if he wanted to kill himself.

Before Jasper could walk one step, the Azgeda man grabbed ahold of Jasper, pulling him back into his chest and wrapping his arm around Jasper’s chest. You raised your gun in defence when you saw the sun reflect off the knife pressed dangerously close to Jasper neck. You barely heard the man speak something in his language as all you could focus on was the impending death that faced Jasper. 

Your eyes widened even further when you saw Jasper’s lips upturn slightly, a smile ghosting on his lips. Lowering your gun in shock, you watched as he lightly chuckled. Octavia argued in their language against killing you all, but before you knew it the man holding Jasper had pressed on the knife against his throat, slicing it. Bellamy raised his gun, shooting the man in the head but he just managed to miss it. Though he let go of Jasper and he started falling forward. Raven and Miller shot the other to men but you halted, remembering your fathers words. “Hold your fire!” You bellowed out, seizing all gunshots. 

“Jasper, get down!” Octavia yelled, ripping her sword from her back and flinging it. With precise aim it hit the man who had dodged Bellamy’s bullet in the chest, making him fall down to the ground. Staring in silence at the man, you paused before you heard your father’s voice over the radio.

“What now?” Bellamy mumbled to himself, running towards the radio. You yourself turned towards Jasper, helping Octavia haul him up as he grabbed his neck in pain. 

“What the hell were you thinking?” You asked in anger, still frustrated that he’d put himself in that kind of situation. He stared up at you, a soft cocky smile on his lips and you groaned; “we got the beacon didn’t we?”

“Yeah, but where did they get it?” Monty asked, holding his hands out in confusion.

“He needs to get to medical.” Octavia mumbled, placing Jasper against the side of the rover. You stepped back, allowing her to do her job as you knew absolutely nothing about helping the wounded. Furrowing your brows, you thought over what you’d just witnessed, shaking your head. “It’s like he wanted to die.” You mumbled to yourself.

“Can you tell me what happened?” You heard Bellamy grunt out and stepping forward, you listened in on what your father had to say.

“When you get here. Over and out.”

“Sector four? What is Kane doing so far away from the wall?” Raven asked, and you turned to Bellamy. He shrugged, frustration clearly on his face as he stomped towards Octavia and Jasper. “Take him home!” He grunted out, pushing you aside. You turned to him in shock, stepping further back as you glared at him from behind.

“I’m fine. Thank’s for asking.” Jasper mumbled out. 



“Get one of their horses. Raven since you can’t ride, you’re on the back. Y/N you ride with Miller. Monty you’re with m-” 

“Hold up!” You interrupted Bellamy’s rants of orders, stepping towards him and placing your hand on his chest so he would listen to you. “I’m not going back.”

“Yes, you are.” Bellamy argued, shaking his head at you. He turned to dismiss you as everyone slowly fell to began what they’d been told. You glared, stunned that Bellamy would ignore you like this. Grabbing his wrist, you yanked him back towards yourself, frustration evident in your gaze as you stared up at him. He relented, pausing finally to look at you; “it’s too dangerous.” He continued, already knowing that you were going to argue with his decision.

“And it’s my father out there.” You reminded, “so i’m going with you.”

“Why the hell do you always have to be so stubborn?” He spat at you, clearly caught up in the moment. There was clearly anger behind his words, pent up anger, and you could only think it had something to do with that day you turned him down. When he finished yelling at you, you paused, unsure how to react. That gave him enough time to realized what he had said and how he had said it, but before he couldn’t even think of apologizing you spoke first. “You don’t control what I do. And I know this isn’t about you not wanting me to go, so whatever you have to say, say it.”

It was the first time since first landing that you’ve ever fought with Bellamy like this. There was so much tension between the two of you and you were so focused on him, you forgot for a moment you were surrounded by others. Though, Bellamy never replied and you smiled mockingly up at him; “great.” You grunted before stepping past him and into the back of the rover.


“Sir, before you say anything there was a reason why-”

“We’ll deal with that later.” Marcus interrupted Bellamy. Stepping up, you walked into your father’s view, him regarding you quickly as your gaze fell on Indra. The same Indra who had used her own knife to slice parts of your skin because you’d ‘poisoned’ her commander. “This is about Clarke.” Your father finished, and you tore your eyes off Indra to your father. You hadn’t heard Clarke’s name in months. No one spoke it anymore.

“What about her?” Bellamy asked.

“She’s being hunted,” Indra answered for Marcus. You looked over at Monty in confusion, not daring to look at Bellamy. Hunted? What could she possibly be being hunted for? And who?

It seemed Monty was wondering the same thing; “by who?”

“By everyone.” 

“Sir, we’re almost out of range. Are you sure you don’t want to tell the chancellor?”

“I’m sure. I don’t want to worry Abby until we know something for sure.” Your father answered, turning to look over at you. You offered a small meek smile, not really paying attention to much of anything. Jasper tried to get himself killed, you were currently arguing with Bellamy, but you guessed that had been happening for months now and once again, Clarke was in trouble. And once again everyone was rushing to save her. It was a lot to process.

“We know it’s a kill order.” Bellamy reminded and you shook your head, scoffing. Your annoyance didn’t seem to catch anyone but Bellamy’s attention. “You people are big on those.”

“It’s not a kill order. It’s a bounty.” Indra corrected instantly; “Clarke’s a symbol. She’s know as Wanheda. The commander of death.” So that’s who those Azgeda men had been looking for, Clarke. Though, suddenly intrigued by Indra’s words, you looked up at her in question. 

“The Ice Nation guys we killed asked about Wanheda.” Bellamy informed, looking back at you three from the corner of his eye. “They’re looking for Clarke, why?” It was then you decided to finally open your mouth, regrettably too annoyed to really care if your words were hurtful or not.

“It’s Clarke, remember?” You scoffed, turning to look at Bellamy who looked hesitantly back at yourself. “She probably did something, as usual.” You scoffed, fumbling with your gun as you looked down, ignoring Bellamy’s gaze. It wasn’t until the rover turned silent did you look up, finding everyone’s eyes on yourself. You shrugged; “i’m not lying.”

“My people believe that when you kill someone…” Indra started explaining, looking at you before turning away. “You get their power. Kill Wanheda, and you command death.”  Though, you figured their idea of gaining power was just as ridiculous as Clarke always getting herself in danger. You’re not quite sure why you were so fed up with Clarke, but you figured it had something to do with the fact she couldn’t live with her own mistakes and ran away because of it.

“She’s just one girl.” Your father, argued softly.

“So was the commander.” Indra reminded, “what Clarke did at Mount Weather weakened her. The Ice Nation is emboldened. Their queen wants Clarke’s power. If her people believe she has it, she’ll break the coalition and start a war. I can’t let that happen.” Following Indra’s heavy words was a string of consecutive beeps, and your gaze fell to Monty.

“Welcome to sector seven, where to now?”

“If she’s here, she’ll need supplies. We’ll start at the trading posts.”

“They’re here.” Bellamy grunted. Almost instantly you looked up from the floor, raising your gun towards the ceiling of the rover Bellamy was out of. 

“Everybody out or the boy dies.” A man grunted from above, and before you even had a second to process what you’d been told Bellamy was yanked up through the hole, and gone before your eyes. Raising your hands, you dropped your gun. “Okay! Okay!” You yelled, holding your hands in surrender.

“We’re coming out!” Your father surrendered, looking at you. You nodded, telling him that that was the right decision when someone had Bellamy’s life on their hands. Or anyone for that matter. Taking your gun off your shoulder, you dropped it on the ground, taking your knife from the strap on your pants off. “Don’t hurt him.” Your father pleaded, turning to the rest of you as he slowly opened the back of the rover. The door was ripped from your father’s hands, yanking it open.

Then suddenly someone grabbed Marcus, and threw him on the ground. You were next as they grabbed your arm, and yanked you out. Your head smacked against the ground and you groaned, your vision blurring for a second. A knee fell on your back, and your arm was bent backwards roughly so you couldn’t move. Looking up you found Bellamy who was still struggling and sighed. “All targets acquired.” A female voice informed. 

You heard a grunting and turning your head you found Monty being held up by one of the men, ripping the signal from him. He reached out his hands desperately, “it’s mine! Give it back!”

“Hey!” You called, “give it back!” Your yelling earned you a smack on the back of your head and you groaned, but didn’t seize struggling. “Monty, let it go!” Bellamy pleaded, begging Monty to stop struggling. “Y/N!” Stopping your struggles, you looked up at Bellamy to see him shaking his head at you. Reluctantly, you stopped your struggles.

“Monty?” The female from before questioned. You turned your head towards her, confused on why she had spoken with such familiarity. Then Monty froze himself, his grunting and struggling’s stopping; “mom?” Upon Monty’s word she ripped off the mask on her face, revealing a woman who looked just like Monty. You gasped, confused as Monty slowly made his way over to her and then they embraced. “I knew it!” She whispered.

“Farm Station. Stand down.”

The knee on your back left and the grasp on your arm left, crawling up to your hands and knees you looked over to see a man walking over to your father. His voice was highly recognizable and your thinking was only proved correct when your father uttered; “Pike?”

“You have no idea how good it is to see you.” Pike laughed and you shook your head. You’d known Pike because of your father, not to mention he had taught you survival tips before you’d been sent to the ground. But… Pike had always been more of a father than your own father had been, and you used to look forward to seeing him. You just thought after being sent to the ground you never would.

“Pike?” You whispered as he helped your father up. His gaze fell on you and his smile grew when he saw your familiar face. Walking over to you, he offered his hand to which you accepted and hauled you up. You hugged him, still shocked to actually see him standing before you. “Y/N.” He greeted, “it’s nice to see you.” You smiled up at him, still slightly unsure of everything as your father moved to stand beside you. 

“We didn’t think you made it.” Pike shook his head, hugging your dad before looking to his other teammates. “Lacroix, Smith, watch our six. Everyone else, I said stand down.” Looking over, you saw Bellamy finally stand up and looked over to Monty who was still by his mother. You smiled softly, as he turned around, looking. “Where’s dad?” Monty asked.

Monty’s mother paused, unsure on what to say and you knew that it couldn’t be good by the look on her face. “Your father didn’t make it.” Monty’s mother whispered and your smile fell, offering a sympathetic look towards Monty. You knew how it felt to lose a parent, your pretty sure everyone on the ground did with the way the world worked. So you couldn’t help but sympathize with Monty.

“How many of you are there?” You father asked Pike.

“Sixty-three.” He replied, “the rest are camped in the mountains. North of here, grounder killers one and all. Am I right?” The sixty-three around you all cheered in agreement and you paused. This wasn’t good. You’d just sort of made terms with the grounders and there hasn’t been an attack at the Ark in forever, Pike and his men of grounder killers would only cause more trouble. Though only now you didn’t know how right you words were.

“Hate to cut this short.” Bellamy interrupted, “but we got to find Clarke.” Taking a deep breath, you ignored the pit in your stomach and nodded. Even though she was probably the cause of her own doom, she needed help. And you were her friend. “I second that.” You agreed, holding up your hand. Bellamy looked over to you in shock, probably confused way you’d been the one to agree with him with all your previous comments.

“Clarke Griffin?” Pike asked, looking over at Bellamy in bafflement. Bellamy nodded quickly in agreement. “Yeah. If only all of my earth skills students were as good as her.” Bellamy reluctantly smiled, shaking his head. “It’s good to see you, sir.”

“Yeah, you too.”

“Okay, move the tree.” Marcus ordered and Pike was quick to order his men to help. Nodding at your father, you headed over to Monty and Bellamy, falling next to Monty. By the look on his face you could tell he was upset but before you could say anything Bellamy beat you to it; “you okay?”

“I have to be.” Monty replied, looking over at Bellamy. Sighing, you placed your hand on his upper arm, diverting his attention on you. Nodding at Monty, you sent a small reassuring smile; “you don’t have to be around me, okay?” Monty smiled back, nodding in thanks. Taking a deep breath, you pushed forward on the log with the rest, hefting it forward. After repeatedly pushing at it, it finally rolled far away enough that you could get through.

Standing up along with Bellamy, you walked over to your father; “Kane, we need to get moving!” Bellamy reminded.

“Monty, give them the coordinates to Arcadia.” Your father ordered Monty, and turning you saw him quick to follow. “We have a settlement, fifty miles south of here. Your people will be safe there.” Marcus informed Pike, placing his hand on his shoulder. You watched from a little bit away, unsure of Pike. He’d always been kind to you, always treated you like you were his own daughter, but there was just something different this time. Something in your stomach that told you this time would be different.

“You’re my people.” Pike reminded Marcus, smiling up at him.

“Good, because we have reports that put Clarke north of here. We could certainly use your expertise.” Pike hesitated, looking over to Monty’s mother for support. Looking over at Marcus, she informed; “if she’s in Ice Nation you’re gonna need more than that.” You just wondered exactly what the Ice Nation had done to farm station that made them so ruthless, so sure and careful of their movements. Even you weren’t that hostile and the grounders had done more than their fair share of cruel to you.

“We leave no one behind.”

“Quiet.” Indra ordered, holding her hand out for you all to stop. Coming to a stop, you fell behind Marcus and in front of Bellamy, looking around you for what had made Indra have you all stop. “Listen.” Everyone went dead silent and listening closely, you heard the faint sound of drums around you. 

“War drums?” You hesitantly declared, looking around you for clarification. Your father nodded and you sighed, this couldn’t be good.

“Azgeda.” Indra bit out, her hand slowly falling back to her side.

“You can tell it’s Ice Nation from the sound?” Monty asked incredulously, turning to Indra in bewilderment. Indra shook her head, pointing before you; “no, from them.” Following the direction of her finger you found two dead bodies before you, their faces covered in white paint, obviously Ice Nation soldiers. Pike ran by you, up to your father and you leaned down on one knee, holding up your gun.

“We need to get those bodies off the field,” Pike rushed. “Unless you’re okay with them thinking we did this.” Marcus shook his head, signalling Pike to fall forward and move the bodies. 

“Wait,” Bellamy interrupted; “two people at twelve’o’clock.” Raising your gun, you looked in the direction Bellamy had said, finding two bodies running away quickly. Looking through your view finder, your mouth fell open and you repositioned yourself to keep steady. Turning to Bellamy it seemed he had saw the same thing as you; “it’s Clarke.” Before you could even blink Bellamy ran forward, past you and towards where Clarke was. Before he could get very far though, Pike grabbed a hold of him. “Let me go! Move!”

“Hey, hey, hey.” Pike interrupted, “you’ll never make it in time.”

“He’s right,” you spoke up, walking beside Bellamy. Pointing to your left, you grabbed ahold of his wrist, bringing his attention on you; “look.” Using his gun he looked at the army of Ice Nation men making their way across the field. Shaking your head, you sighed; “no way we make it across without being seen.”

“We should lay low, let them pass. Then we go find Clarke.” Bellamy bit is lip, hesitating and you understood. You were so close to her and there was the possibility you wouldn’t be able to find her after if the army took too long. But you also knew that chasing after her now would only get you all killed.

“Guys, look a cave.” Monty stated, pointing behind you. 

“We just got lucky.” Pike joked, grabbing ahold of the body. Turning to Bellamy, you held fast on his wrist; “let’s go.” You pushed when he shook his head; “I promise you we will find her after! But we need to go, now.” You urged, pulling at his sleeve. Looking back in the direction of Clarke, Bellamy sighed, nodding and running with you towards the cave.

“So, Mount Weather is ours now?”

“Yeah,” Marcus answered, standing up from the rock he’d been sitting on. You shifted from your position against the wall, standing up straighter as you listened more closely. “Yeah, we use it for supplies.” This apparently upset Pike as his face twisted into confusion; “supplies? It’s a nuclear-hardened underground city.” 

“We established a truce.” Marcus offered. “We need to think about perception.”

“You need to think about what happens when the grounder’s break that truce.” Pike argued. Shaking your head, you furrowed your brows in disagreement, stepping up. Staring at Pike with defiance in your eyes, “and you need to think about all the innocents that died in there. You didn’t see it. You didn’t live it. Why would we use everything that those innocents once owned because it benefits us?” You argued, your voice raising.

“Because those supplied can be useful to us!” Pike yelled. “The grounders will break that truce.” 

“Oh, crap.” Turning around at the sound of Monty’s voice, only to find him crouching on the ground in panic. You looked around the cave, finding one person missing. You slumped, cursing that you’d been stupid enough to get distracted. “Bellamy, what are you doing?”

“Bellamy!” You called, seeing his body in the distance. 

“He’s hurt.” Monty declared and you picked up the speed in your step, desperate to reach him. What had he been thinking? Walking through an Ice Nation army could’ve gotten him killed and though you already knew why he’d done it, didn’t lessen the worry and frustration you felt towards him.

Falling beside him along with Monty, you grabbed ahold of him as he grunted in pain. His clothes had been replaced by the Ice Nation uniform he’d stolen from the dead guard but you could clearly see the wound in his thigh, bleeding profusely. “We told you to wait for the army to pass.” Marcus argued, running in front of you three.

“What happened?”

“I-I-I almost got her. I-” Bellamy panted, stumbling over his own words. 

“Pike, find their trail.”

“It’s useless, he knows he’s being followed.” Pike shook his head, and you couldn’t help but agree. Turning to Bellamy, you shook your head, how could he be so stupid? You could’ve gotten to Clarke and actually succeeded in finding her if he had just waited. Bellamy moved from your side, as if he was going to continue searching for her but your father grabbed ahold of him, slamming him back against the trunk of the tree. “Hey, you can’t even walk.”

“So, what, we- we give up? Let him kill her?” Bellamy continued to walk and Monty lightly shoved you aside, running towards Bellamy. You stepped back, unsure of what to do. You felt helpless and for the first time in a long time you had no idea how to make Bellamy feel better.

“Hey, I want to find her too.” Monty whispered, gaining Bellamy’s attention. “But look at your leg. You could die out here, we have no trail.”

“We can’t loose Clarke!” Bellamy yelled, shocking you. Slowly he looked back at you all, finding your gaze. With wet eyes, you shook your head. He turned back to Monty, lowering his voice; “we can’t loose Clarke.”

“We’ll find her, okay? We will figure something out, I promise… but this isn’t the way.” Watching hesitantly Bellamy nodded, mumbling okay. Stepping forward, you decided it was time to help and nodded to Monty; “I got him.” He nodded, walking away slowly as he stared back at you two. Pulling Bellamy’s arm around your shoulder, you hefted him against yourself. As you all slowly walked back, you two stayed near the back, in complete silence as you found nothing to say. 

“Why are you helping me?” Bellamy finally spoke up, turning to look at you. Watching a particular difficult step, you shrugged; “I don’t know. You’ve done nothing to deserve it.” You mumbled, “I guess it’s because I care for you.” You honestly answered, turning to look him in the eyes. You saw the disbelief flood his eyes and though it upset you, you couldn’t blame him. You didn’t know if he cared for you anymore either. “Because I do care for you.”

“I was so upset about… about-” Bellamy hesitated but you already knew what he was referring to. “I thought…”

“And you started ignoring me.” You finished, shrugging tiredly. “Listen Bellamy I know you were hurt, but you hurt me as well. You just started acting like I wasn’t there. Like I didn’t even exist. But then Clarke, who left you in the dust, alone, comes back and you rush at everything to save her. I don’t even think you’d do that for me.” As you whispered these words, let out all your feelings, you sniffled trying not to let your emotions flood.

“I would.” Bellamy mumbled into your ear, “I would do everything to get you back.” 

“I’m not so sure anymore.”

Feigning The Connection

Prompt: You seem so invincible. But just touch you and you’ll wince. You have secrets and trust no one. You’re the perfect example of betrayal. Because anyone you’ve ever trusted broke you. Thrust into a new world, will you be able to stay alone, or will Bellamy work his way in?



A/N: I’m pretty excited for this chapter mainly because some things… happen. If you know what I mea ;)

I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Send me a little comment in the ask section or leave it below on what you thought of this chapter. It doesn’t have to be long, I appreciate every single comment I receive and telling me just helps inspire me to write it more frequently.

AGAIN, remember if you’d like me to continue this series, just leave a little comment or an ask letting me know. I will NOT continue the series if no one wants me to.

Pairing: Bellamy x Reader

Based off of: The 100 04x03 and 04X04

Warnings: spoilers.

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Originally posted by rebelkingfreckles

You held Luna’s hair back as she vomited what looked like only bile. You tried to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach at the sight of the sickness surrounding you, sickness that had started because of radiation. It seemed the radiation was hitting you all quicker than you thought it would.

Smiling at Luna the best you could as she wiped at her mouth, you pitied her. Sure she hadn’t accepted the flame and in a sense tricked you and your friends, but no one deserves this- this sickness. You rubbed her back softly as if to sooth her. You didn’t know much about the medicine field but you did remember that as a child if you’d gotten a cold or felt ill, your mother used to rub your back. 

“Here.” Bellamy offered Luna a rag to which she accepted, Bellamy stepping beside you. You hadn’t even noticed him walk in. As soon as Nyko and Luna along with the rest had come to your gate, you had followed Abby into sickbay to help as best as you could. Of course, you couldn’t help much other than offer support and water, etc. You smiled at Bellamy in thanks, your eyes falling back on Luna as she used the rag to wipe your mouth more efficiently.

“You think I deserve this for refusing the flame?” Luna asked, her voice raw as if it hadn’t been used in days.

“No one deserves to die like this.” Bellamy answered softly. “Besides this would’ve happened anyway.”

Reaching out, you squeezed Luna’s shoulder; “we’re gonna help you and your people okay? It’s gonna be fine.” She offered a weak smile and you knew deep down while she appreciated your sympathy, she didn’t believe you. And you didn’t blame her. Loosing more than half her people because of the radiation sickness, and having to beg the people she’d once fooled was no easy feat. Thought of course, you wished yourself you knew more, were you actually going to be able to help her people?

Sensing someone behind you, Clarke stepped around Bellamy slowly, coming before Luna hesitantly.

“This is all that’s left of my people,” Luna whispered. “Can you save them?”

“We’ll do everything we can,” Clarke nodded. “You have my word.” Hearing Clarke say this made you smile back at Luna, your words finally registering within her. You knew your people, while you’ve had your battles with the grounders you wouldn’t give up on a small group of sick ones, especially when there was a child involved.

Letting your hand fall off Luna’s shoulder, you stepped back with Clarke and Bellamy. Once far away enough, Clarke turned to Bellamy, her words desperate and you could tell she was clearly frustrated. “Tell me something good.” 

“Raven’s looking for us.”

“So, Luna’s rig is here, and if the fish in these waters are dying-… well basically we’re screwed.”

“I don’t understand,” you shook your head. Your eyes still stuck on the monitor before you with worry. “ALIE said we have six months.” It was true, and if this was how quickly these six months were going to move you did not have the time to find another solution which you all still needed to. The only solution you had as of now was still the Ark, which because of a decision Bellamy still blames himself for, could only hold a hundred people, meaning four hundred plus of your own people would die at the hands of the radiation. Not to mention all of the grounders that would fall to their death as well.

“We don’t.” Raven bluntly said.

“Well then, how long do we have?”

“It’s hard to say,” Raven sighed, shifting into her seat. Raising her hand, she began pointing at the monitor again; “radiation is dispersed by jet stream and carried by ocean currents, so it’s not an exact science, but the leading indicator’s are small species die-offs– fish. Insects.” Biting your lip, you looked down to the ground, hope leaving you. “Based on the new data, i’d say we have… two months of survivability. Maybe less.”

You felt your heart plummet, your eyes falling to Bellamy as he shook his head. “The Ark won’t be ready.” He reminded, alarm present in his gaze.

“It’ll be close,” Raven began. “If we triple the man hours and work around the clock, we should be able to achieve a hard seal before the black rain comes. We just have to decide who gets to live here.”

“Raven,” Clarke started, shaking her head. “We’re not talking about the list again.”

“Clarke, we are running out of time. We have to make a plan for the day we close the doors, drill for it, make sure only the survivors have guns, agree on protocols for dealing with the people who are pissed off they’re not chosen. You asked me to be in-charge of rationing, and I have done that, but choosing who lives and who dies is your speciality.” Silence followed Raven’s words, but you couldn’t completely blame her for saying what she had. While Raven’s words were harsh, they were true.

Your attention was brought away from Raven when you heard the soft sound of an engine starting.

“No one’s scheduled to take the rover.”

“Out of the vehicle.” Bellamy ordered, opening the rover door so he could speak to Jaha more clearly. 

“I need to make a run,” Jaha explained. 

Raven stepped forward; “all supply runs go through me, and shouldn’t you be working on the patch to sector five?” Jaha paused and Bellamy tilted his head back, signalling for him to step out of the car. Reluctantly Jaha turned off the engine, following what he’d been told as he stepped out of the drivers seat. Stepping back to make room for Bellamy, you glared at Jaha.

Slamming the door shut behind him, Jaha turned to Clarke. “A patch for a ship that can only save a hundred people?” Shock flooded through you. No one, other than you four and a select few were suppose to know about how many the Ark can actually save. After Clarke had failed to tell them the whole truth, you were stuck keeping secrets again. “Why are you surprised? I am an engineer. We have no way to generate water. The harder number is four hundred. Can you really sentence four hundred more of our own people to death?”

“We don’t have a choice!” You explained, raising your voice. Slowly, realizing your mistake, you stepped back as not to alert more people as Bellamy’s hands fell on your shoulder to help calm you. 

“What if you do?” Jaha questioned. “What if I told you there might be a fallout shelter less than a days drive from here, a fallout shelter built to sustain thousands?”

“We’ve been through the chancellor’s files,” Raven dismissed, shaking her head in disagreement. “All the bunkers you considered for the hundred were listed as compromised or unviable, and now Mount Weather is too.”

“Those were government bunkers,” Jaha reminded, smiling despite the moment. Turning around, he opened up the rover door, grabbing a hold of his tablet before pulling it out to show you four. Clarke grabbed ahold of it, and leaning over Bellamy’s shoulder, you furrowed your brows.

“A doomsday cult?”

“That’s right. The second dawn.” Jaha explained, folding his hands behind him.

“They built a bunker?” Clarke asked.

“Their whole theology was based on riding out the end of the world.” You paused, stepping back as you thought over it. It was worth the shot, if it was true then you’d have a solution much easier than the one you had now and it wouldn’t consider a list of those who are worth saving and those who aren’t. 

“And you didn’t consider it?” Raven questioned suspiciously.

“We couldn’t prove it existed.” Jaha answered honestly.

“So why are you considering it now?” 

“Because before now, we didn’t need it.” 

“You found it didn’t you?” You asked, raising an eyebrow Jaha’s way. It made sense, it would have to and you knew, despite all he’d done, Jaha wouldn’t waste a days worth of work on a whim. He found it, or at least thinks he did.

“We can’t be sure until we check it out.”

Biting your lip, you turned to your friends; “it’s worth a shot.”

“No.” Raven dismissed, shaking her head. “No way. We need that rover for hauling pieces of a three-ton patch we’re build–” 

“Yeah but if he’s right, we won’t need the patch.” Clarke interrupted, pointing over to Jaha for more reason. 

“Can I talk to you guys for a moment?” Raven asked, trying to keep her cool. Looking back over to Jaha, you nodded, taking a few steps over so you were slightly away from Jaha, you turned your attention back on Raven. “Can you please remind Clarke what happened the last time Jaha went looking for salvation?” She asked, turning her flaming eyes on Bellamy.

“Raven, if that bunker is real, we can save a lot more than a hundred people.” Bellamy advised, and you couldn’t help but nod. He wasn’t wrong.

“And if it doesn’t, we’ve lost another day.” Raven reminded, growling out her words. Raven wasn’t wrong either, but it was worth a shot, right? 

“Hey, look.” Clarke called. “If it’s not, i’ll make the list… okay?”

Raven bit her lip, looking between you all as she pondered on Clarke’s words. Scoffing, she turned; “do what you want. I’ve got a ship to seal.”

Turning to Clarke and Bellamy, you smiled; “i’ll go.” Nodding at them, you turned to leave before Bellamy caught your shoulder, looking down at you; “i’ll come too.”

You nodded, knowing not to argue with him. Looking over at Clarke, you let your hand fall on her shoulder. “Stay here. The people may not need the truth, but they still need guidance.” She reluctantly agreed, walking off but not before giving you and Bellamy a reassuring smile.

“I’ll drive.”

“This is it,” Jaha announced, walking through the trees. Holding up your flashlight, you squinted to see what was before you. You had hopes that this would work, you prayed that what Jaha said and explained in the car would all come to be true. But you had your doubts, you only hoped they weren’t right.

“Well,” Bellamy began, stopping next to you. “If anyone’s entitled to a lucky break, we are.” You couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, not finding any fault in his words. 

“You hear that?” Jaha asked and you fell silent, trying to see if you heard anything. Narrowing your eyes, you looked over at Jaha in question. There was no sound at all. Shifting himself, he repositioned his flashlight before looking over at you and Bellamy himself. “No insects.” Your face fell at his words, looking down to the ground. 

You felt Bellamy’s eyes on you and looking up at him, you gave him a solemn look. 

“What?” Jaha asked when he noticed something was wrong. 

“Luna had said the fish were dying,” you answered soulfully. “No insects…” You trailed off.

“What are the things that eat the fish and bugs gonna eat now?” Bellamy followed, staring off around the forest that surrounded you three. Shrugging, you made eye contact with Bellamy; “guess maybe that good luck doesn’t exist.” 

Walking forward, you looked around you, before realizing you didn’t know what you were looking for. “What exactly am I looking for again?” You asked Jaha, peeking back at him for a moment before watching where you were stepping. 

“The bunker would’ve been at the lowest point,” Jaha answered. 

“Anything structural.” Bellamy answered, you turned back to Bellamy, giving him a faint smile. “Be careful.” He advised, giving you a worried look. You shook your head, picking up your step as you walked off. Soon you were so far, you couldn’t hear what Bellamy and Jaha were saying, just faint mumblings as you looked around you.

“She’s lucky to have you.” Jaha commented idly, noticing Bellamy stare at your back in wonder. “All her life, Y/N has questioned every decision she’s ever made. Blamed herself for everything she’s ever done, her fault or not. It didn’t help when her own father arrested her. Ever since she’s met you, she’s changed, become happier. Y/N doesn’t spend her life questioning herself, you keep her grounded.”

Bellamy paused, looking over at Jaha in confusion. The only thing that ran through his mind, was that he completely disagreed with what Jaha had to say. He didn’t even want to question how Jaha knew all of that about you, your father was Kane who had once been on the council with Jaha. “It’s the other way around.” He answered, stepping forward carefully. 

“Still blaming yourself for killing that army.” Though the sentence was posed as a question, it was said as a statement. Coming to a stop, Jaha turned his body so it was now directed to Bellamy. “You’ve made mistakes– it’s true. But your intentions were pure. Every choice you made, you made to save your people… Even shooting me, twice. As long as that’s the truth, you don’t need redemption.”

“Trying telling that to her,” Bellamy pointed in your direction. “Or anyone else that has suffered by my hand… Besides, you better hope so.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, if you’re wrong, and there is a hell, then I guess i’ll see you there.” Bellamy bluntly stated.

“How many people do you have to save before you forgive yourself?” Jaha asked, his voice soft with pity. Bellamy licked his lips, remaining silent as he gazed at Jaha.

“I think I found it!” You called, waving them over to where you stood. When you felt light shine around you, you turned to see both Jaha and Bellamy heading your way. You turned your attention back on the staircase you’d found, leaning over it slightly. 

Bellamy grumbled a thought, shaking his head before letting his eyes fall on you. “Good job,” he smiled over at you and you grinned back at him. “Stay behind me.” He ordered and you nodded without fault, following behind him as he slowly transcended down the staircase. 

Pushing back branches, Bellamy made a path for himself, you and Jaha, crouching down as you all made your way further down the stairs. “Watch your head.” Listening to Bellamy, you bent forward, trying to ignore the webs you found yourself walking through and the dust. This clearly hadn’t been seen in years, which did make sense, and had been left to waste away with no one to see.

Panting Bellamy reached the bottom of stairs, pushing past a rather large web. Seeing it connect to him, you extended your hand forward, pulling it off of his clothes as you peered around you in curiosity. It was the same everywhere, the sight of nothing but an abandoned bunker. 

Something caught Bellamy’s eye as he walked forward, crouching before it. Your own eyes fell on a skeleton, looking around you for something that would help you figure out where this ‘bunker’ was suppose to be. You heard a light thump and turning you watched Bellamy pick up an object from under the skeleton, what looked like a coin but much bigger. He brought it up to his face, his eyes scanning over the words engraved on it. “From the ashes we will rise.”

Standing up, Bellamy turned to the dead man; “not this guy.” Before showing you all the object he’d found. You stared at it in confusion and wonder, watching as Jaha reached out to grab it himself. Letting his thumb run over the top of it, he flipped it over to the back and a Roman numeral appeared. “The eleventh seal.” Jaha breathed. “Their faith was built on twelve seals. Followers could level up by unlocking one at a time. Only those who reached level twelve could achieve salvation.”

Looking over to the door, you sighed; “that could be why they didn’t let him in.” Jaha turned, his face brightening at the sight of the door.

“I was right,” he stated, turning to the door as he traced along it for an opening or a handle of some sort. “They could still be in there.” You reminded, a hopeful feeling welling within you. Turning to Bellamy, you raised any eyebrow. If this was the right bunker, than you could be right yourself.

Nodding at you, Bellamy walked towards the door, banging harshly on it. “Hey!” He bellowed. “Is anyone there?” Bellamy banged on it again, followed by more silence as Jaha traced along the sides of the door. “It’s still sealed.” He announced and you shook your head, your own eyes scanning over the exterior of the door.

“There’s no locks, no handles.”

“That’s because it was designed to be opened from the inside.” Jaha explained, breathing heavily.

“Or from the outside by somebody with a rover.”

You looked at the wire connected to the sealed door by the rover. Watching as it straightened with each pull Bellamy gave it, and the wire rang as it could no longer tug. Still Bellamy continued to press down on the gas, the engine sputtering as the wire was pulled from each direction. 

Though you were nowhere near the wire, you leaned back when it flipped back over to the rover, coming off the door. “What happened?” You asked, staring in anticipation at the wire.

“Let’s go find out.” Bellamy said, stepping out of the rover. You quickly made your way back over to the staircase in anticipation, your heart racing as you quickly made your way down the steps. You followed in behind Jaha, your heart spiking when you saw the previously sealed door, open.

“It worked.”

Jaha went in first, and as you came in second all hope that had previously been there dropped. You tried your best to see with the flashlight, but it was hard. Bellamy seemed to agree, handing you over his flashlight, you accepted as he flicked on a flare, it’s red flame illuminating the bunker. 

“This can’t be.”

What you saw before you was bodies floating in their own blood. 

“It wasn’t sealed,” Bellamy sighed. “The radiation would have killed them in days. This won’t save anyone.”

“If i’m on that list, you’re on that list.”

Clarke sighed, shaking her head as she sniffled. “Bellamy, I can’t.” It was one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do, put names of her friends and people on a list. Decides who lives and who dies. 

“Write it down.” Bellamy ordered softly, “write it down or I will.”

When Clarke made no moved to listen to his words, Bellamy stepped forward, taking the notebook towards himself and grabbing the pen from Clarke’s hand. Just below his name, spot number ninety-nine, he wrote ‘Clarke Griffin’ in the spot one hundred. He would not condemn himself to live if one of his most trusted friends died.

Capping the pen, he moved closer to Clarke, his eyes scanning over the list. Those his move to comfort Clarke fell short as he noticed your name wasn’t on the list. Panic settled within, scanning one more time over the one hundred names for hope, but only came to the same conclusion. Clarke hadn’t put your name on the list.

“Where’s Y/N?” Bellamy asked, his eyes falling on Clarke as she sighed heavily, a tear falling down her cheek. “Clarke. Where’s Y/N’s name?” He repeated, his voice more gruff.

“I couldn’t-” Clarke whimpered, her voice breaking.

Bellamy knew it was selfish, to be so mad, and he was sure Clarke had his reasons, whatever reasons they were. But he wasn’t going to just let you die, and him live. He couldn’t live without you. “What do you mean ‘you couldn’t’?” Bellamy interrupted, his voice the calmest it ever had been, despite how he felt.

Clarke shook her head in despair, hating what she had to say because she knew it would hurt him more than anything. “She’s just a soldier– we need doctors and engineers, she doesn’t offer-”

“Take me off the list and put her name.” Bellamy interrupted again, his voice dead serious and his voice leaving no room for argument. Clarke turned her wet eyes on Bellamy in shock, immediately shaking her head in a decline. “Why not? I’m just a soldier. I will not live while she dies.” When Clarke didn’t move, much like before, Bellamy reached down to grab the notebook again but Clarke was quicker, pulling it out of his hands.

Bellamy stared at Clarke in shock, not quite believing what he was seeing.

He said nothing else as he turned around, walking towards the door. He needed to see you and now.


The door slammed behind him.

When you heard the door open, you definitely didn’t expect to see Bellamy at your doorway. You hadn’t expected any visitors really, but definitely not Bellamy. 

You shifted uncomfortably, you’d just been getting ready to go to bed. It had been a long day, which meant you were in a state of clothing Bellamy had never seen you in. Only a t-shirt and shorts. Still, despite your discomfort, you turned to him with a smile, confused smile, but a smile nonetheless. “Bellamy?” Though your smile fell when you saw the state he was in.

His face was red, with anger or confusion you weren’t sure and he looked as if he was going to cry. 

Your eyes squinted in concern and you took the short steps towards him, “what’s wrong? Bellamy?” Your hands moved up to his face but Bellamy’s own shot up, grabbing your wrists. You gasped at the quick and rather rough movement, narrowing your eyes at him in bafflement. “Hey, what’s wrong? You can tell me.”

Despite clearly being upset, you could help but feel his eyes rake your figure. It made you shift in discomfort but also left a warm tingly feeling within you as his dark eyes focused on only you.

Bellamy wanted to tell you, he should tell you. You had every right to know… but he didn’t have the heart to tell you.

What had happened in there only made things clearer. He’d been mad at Clarke at the moment and a part of him still was, but it made sense. He hated it, but what Clarke said made sense. You were a great fighter and a reliable friend but you offered nothing that would be useful when stuck in an Ark that needed doctors and engineers, etc. But that didn’t explain why she’d put his name, who was just the same as yourself, and not yours.

Though while it made sense, it also made things clear to Bellamy. Just the mere thought of not being able to see you everyday, to leave you to die while he got to live, sickened him. Living without you just seemed impossible to Bellamy. Bellamy realized in that moment, as his anger spiked and his heart panicked at the thought of leaving you behind, that he loved you.

So, forgetting everything. Forgetting that the last time he’d kissed you had gone anything but well, he leaned forward. It shocked you just like the last time, and he felt your body tensed as he pulled you closer to him self. His hand let go of your wrist, opting to wrap around your waist instead. Bellamy pulled you the closest he could to himself.

Half, actually a majority of him expected you to push away like last time, but while it took a while, you didn’t. Instead, you let your body relax, leaning into the kiss and letting your arms fall around Bellamy’s neck. You wouldn’t make the same mistake as last time. You both made mistakes, Bellamy and yourself, you would not let his or your own stop you from being with him.

And with the end of the world coming, you wanted to be with him.

Eventually you both pulled away, panting breathlessly as you stared up at Bellamy. You found yourself stuck in his gaze, breathing heavily as you looked into his dark brown eyes, Bellamy doing the same. “I’m sorry…” He breathed, his voice barely a whisper. It confused you, but before you could ask Bellamy leaned back down, pressing multiple kisses against yourself.

Slowly the question left your mind, being replaced by the thought of you stepping backwards, Bellamy following. Soon you fell against you small bed, your back hitting the mattress. The minute you both found yourself laying comfortably, Bellamy pulled back again. Your lips were red and your cheeks were most likely inflamed, but none of that matter.

“I love you,” you whispered, in a daze. “I always have…”

“I always will,” Bellamy responded, letting his hand brush a strand of hair away from your face. You smiled brightly. Then, the second he finished his sentence, Bellamy’s lips descended upon you once again. This time, instead of your lips, his own lips felling on your neck, kissing everywhere along you. You felt your back arch in pleasure as Bellamy continued to do what he was doing.

Your hands gripped his hair, and you felt Bellamy’s hand grabbed ahold of the hem of your t-shirt.

This was more than you could’ve every asked for. Part of it felt wrong, though you weren’t sure, and told you to push away but you didn’t. You didn’t want to. You’d been waiting for this moment for so long, nothing could stop you from enjoying it.

“Really Jasper? This is how you spend your time?” It might of seemed like a question, but you already knew the answer. Shaking your head at Jasper, you smiled brightly as Jaha slowly sat up on the mattress. 

“What other way to spend your time?” Jasper asked, grinning brightly at you. You both looked back over at Jaha, laughing lightly as Jasper announced; “ha! He’s awake!” Looking around you, you saw many of your friends step out to view the prank Jasper had thrown on Jaha, laughing when Jaha realized where he was.

You couldn’t help but laugh lightly yourself. It felt wrong but you wouldn’t lie and say the fact of seeing Jaha wake up in the middle of a lake and being confused wasn’t funny. “Hey Jaha,” Jasper called; “it’s looks like you got floated.” A laugh escaped your lips once again, shaking your head at Jasper’s silly behaviour. You probably should be worrying about fixing the Ark but this was just too good.

You clapped along with your friends, shaking your head in amusement.

“Keeping yourself busy I see, Mr. Jordan.” Jaha commented, smiling lightly over in your direction. 

“Oh, i’m living it up, every last day.” 

“Do I wanna know how you managed to do this without waking me up?” Jaha asked.

“Oh, probably not,” Jasper laughed. “But the effects are harmless, I promise, kind of.” You laughed one final time as Jasper walked off, looking over at Jaha you made sure he was able to get back before your eyes wandered elsewhere.

“Alright you guys, we’ve had our fun. Let’s get back to work.” You heard Clarke comment and your attention snapped to her. You hadn’t even know she’d been here, you would’ve expected her to shut down whatever fun you guys had been having mainly because of the fact that she was so worried about the Ark. You knew she would’ve had her reasons but it was nice to know she let everyone have a bit of fun.

Making your way over to her, you couldn’t help but notice that as her attention fell on you she looked almost scared. You couldn’t possibly imagine why, it wasn’t as if she’d done anything. Yet, you continued to make your way over to her, a smile on your face. “Hey,” you called, once you reached her. “You okay?”

For a moment her brows furrowed, as if she was confused. Clarke remained silent at first, letting her eyes glaze over you while you narrowed your eyes at her. “Clarke?”

“Yeah,” she seemed to snapped out of whatever had been bothering her, a smile lighting up her features.

“Any word from Bellamy?” After yours and Bellamy’s night… he had to leave for a mission you’d both known before hand. Still you couldn’t help but feel slightly upset that he had to leave so soon after the moment the two of you had shared. It also didn’t help that now knowing you both could possibly be more and you’ve accepted your feelings, you were worried about letting him leave. You’d always been concerned about him going out there and risking his life, but this just increased it ten-fold.

You felt concern flood through you as Clarke shook her head: “no, not yet.”

“What’s with the ‘we’re all gonna die’ face?” You heard Monty ask, as you turned to see him heading both yours and Clarke’s way. You smiled at the sight of him, him graciously returning it before you focused your attention back on Clarke. When she only gave Monty a look, he looked down; “I mean–”

“I know what you mean,” Clarke interrupted, looking back over to the mountains before you all. It was foggy, covered in clouds, which made you worry, when would the black rain come? Radiation had already reached Luna and her people, and everyone except for Luna herself had died due to it because of the night blood in her. Now she, along with Raven, Abby and more were off somewhere going to Becca’s old lab in order to see if the night blood could become a solution. 

Everything was coming much quicker, as you, Bellamy and Clarke found out, and you were no closer to a viable solution that could save everyone.

Biting your lip, you looked at the gate; “Bellamy should be back by now.” You commented, following Monty and Clarke as they began walking.

“Hunting parties go radio-silent. It’s nothing new.” Monty reminded, offering what little support he could.

“True, still…” You trailed off, looking back at the gate with a worried expression. “I can’t help but worry.”

Monty nodded, though he didn’t know what had happened between you and Bellamy that night, no one did yet, he did know how much you two cared for each other. Turning to Clarke, he noticed the same look on her face as before; “Clarke.” He called, lightly nudging her with his elbow. “What else is wrong?”

Clarke shrugged, biting her lip in frustration. “I just feel… useless. I’m stuck here in case anyone needs a cut bandaged, supervising the back-up plan, when I should be going to the island to make night blood.”

“Clarke,” Monty shrugged; “you’re not a geneticist.”

“Neither is my mom.”

“Well, they have Raven.” You reminded, smiling encouragingly.

“Genetic code, computer code.” Monty added. “They’ll figure it out.”

“Guys, i’m serious,” Clarke reinforced. Coming to a stop, she turned to the both of you in frustration. Monty shook his head; “so am I. If Jaha’s right and Becca created night blood there, they’ll find her records, and all they have to do is reverse-engineer it from Luna. Everyone lives.”

“If they can get it done before the radiation gets here.”

“Well then, I guess we better fix up the ship.” You shrugged, looking up at the Ark. You’re attention fell on Riley, the boy you, Bellamy and the rest saved from Ice Nation, stepped forward. “Riley, how’s it coming along?” Monty asked, looking over at the boy.

“Good,” he reassured. “We should have the radiation patch up before dark.”

“See?” Monty smiled, turning to Clarke; “one less thing to worry about.” She smiled as did you, but was quickly interrupted when you heard a faint thunder. You turned around in the direction of the gate, looking at the mountains like you had before. More thunder echoed and you felt your heart beat race, this couldn’t be good.

“All right, everybody inside. Just like we practised.” Clarke ordered aloud. You wasted no time listening to her warning, hearing the warning bells sound as you quickly followed Clarke and Monty inside. Soon you found yourself within the Ark, hidden from the rain. When you turned around, you saw Monty moving to close the door but was stopped as you noticed a figure. Jasper.

He was walking leisurely, his head turned up as he viewed the sky. “Jasper!” Monty bellowed, “come on! Jasper, let’s go!”

“Jasper!” You screamed, desperate for him to listen.

“What are you doing?” Clarke yelled, stepping out along with you. Jasper paused, his eyes turning back on you and the rest, as he seemed solemn. “Can’t live your life in fear,” was all he said, shaking his head. You felt your heart beat race and worry settle in within you as he turned his head back up to the sky, the distant sound of rain falling.

Monty moved to run out and grab him, but you, Clarke and Harper all stopped him before he could. “Monty, you can’t. You can’t.” Harper yelled, bringing him back over. Monty panicked, screaming Jasper’s name and yelling to be let go as Jasper all of the sudden started reacting badly. He started gagging and he fell to the ground, holding his neck in pain.

Your eyes narrowed in worry, wetting with unshed tears. No…

“What do we do?”

“The sky… is falling!” Jasper suddenly announced, his hand falling from his neck as he began laughing. You felt your body un-tense, your worry dissipate as you narrowed your eyes at Jasper. “Hahaha, the sky is falling!” He joked, holding out his arms as if he was proud of the joke he’d just pulled.

“What is wrong with you?” Clarke sobbed lightly, shaking her head in disgust.

“It’s just rain! Not radioactive ash!” Done with his jests, you turned around, walking off. “Come on! It’s joke! Guys…”

“I have an announcement to make…” 

Baffled, you turned around from where you’d been standing with Harper, your eyes falling on Monty as he stood by the P.A. Your eyes instinctively flew to the piece of paper in his hands. “Clarke Griffin has been lying to you.” You noticed Clarke out of the corner of your eye, turn and bolt towards Monty. “The Ark will only save a hundred people.”

Your eyes widened, you’d known about that and the list, but you never knew if Clarke lived up to her word about making it, it seemed she had. But as you looked around you, you noticed the crowd mumble in shock and question. “Who thinks they made the list?” You felt your body go stiff, scared to see who was on the list. You wanted your people to live, but you wouldn’t lie and say you didn’t want to live yourself.

“Abby Griffin,” Monty began. “Eric Jackson, Thelonious Jaha, Raven Reyes, Octavia Blake, Jim Bruder, Heather David, Grazia Watson, Danny Vertue.” The list went on and on with names you recognized, and people you didn’t even know. The crowd that had been dispersed slowly grew until they were surrounded around Clarke. And yet, Monty continued to read off every name until he ended with Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin.

Your name hadn’t been on the list.

But Bellamy’s was.

You also knew that Bellamy had been there when Clarke made the list, but he wouldn’t… he wouldn’t put your name and leave you to die, would he? No. No, you knew Bellamy and he wouldn’t do that.

“I’m sorry.”

Had that been why he’d come to you that night? Because of the guilt and that’s it? No, he’d said he loved you and he always will. Well technically he’d only said he’d always would, he never actually said the words ‘I love you’…

You were pulled from your thoughts as Monty joined the group, and people started yelling their distaste for the list. You fell beside Monty, sullen. “I didn’t survive the Ice Nation just to die because you think i’m not good enough.” Riley bellowed, clearly frustrated.

“Riley, you’re smart, but you were training to be a guard on the Ark.” Clarke tried to explain, “we only need so many soldiers.”

“You’re tell me that Darcy is more qualified than me?” Riley incredulously asked, pointing to the girl behind him in anger. “She’s a trainee too, and i’m a hell of a lot better shot, no offence.” He offered shortly to the girl, who glared at him.

“I know this is hard to take in, but to ensure the survival of the human race, the list had to be weighted towards young women who can have children.” Clarke explained and your head turned up at the mention of young women, you were one. Didn’t you count for anything?

“Wait, what?” Hayes questioned, his voice shaky with fear. “It’s because she can have kids? How’s that fair?”

“It’s not fair,” Clarke dismissed. “It’s smart.”

“Yeah,” Monty started; “what about Harper?” Slowly Clarke turned around to face Harper and you paused, she looked guilty. Harper tensed her face, crossing her arms as she waited for Clarke’s reply. “There’s a chance she could be a drain on medical resources.”

“Well, i’m not sick.”

“Not yet.” She mumbled. 

“Your dad,” Monty reminded. “You went into her medical records?” Monty accused Clarke, staring at her as if she’d gone mad.

“You’re condemning me for a sickness I might have?” You couldn’t help but feel pity for Harper. Clarke was playing God, and Harper wasn’t ‘deemed’ reasonable to be saved because of a sickness she ‘might’ have.

“I had to consider all variables.”

“That’s rich for a person who put herself on the list.” Harper spat.

“And Bellamy Blake? Come on.” You felt your body grow tense at the mention of Bellamy.

“Of course Clarke and Bellamy should be together.” Jaha explained, making his presence known. You looked to the ground in hurt, you didn’t want to believe Bellamy would’ve just forgotten about you… but you didn’t know. “Strong leadership is essential for survival. All right, you don’t like the list.” Walking over to Monty, he held his hand out without saying anything and Monty listened, giving him the list. 

“Consider it shredded,” he announced, holding it up in the air. “Now we can keep fighting each other and die, or we can work together and give everyone a shot at survival, your choice.”

“Meaning what?” You finally spoke, looking up at Jaha.

“We hold a lottery, randomly choose the hundred people to survive, but you have to work for it, everyday. You don’t show up for your assignments, you can’t be in the lottery, and when the time comes, we collect the names and we draw. Good?” Murmurs of agreement passed and everyone slowly began nodding their head. “Then it’s settled. Now, that radiation shield is ready. Who’s gonna help me put it in place?” A vast majority of the crowd raised their hands; “let’s get it done.”

As the crowd began moving, you did as well, but for a different purpose. You needed to know.

Grabbing Clarke by the arm, you pulled her before she ran off. When she realized it was you, she paused, her face falling. “Y/N I-”

“I don’t care.” You interrupted, shaking your head. “You had your reasons, I don’t care if you didn’t put me on the list. Just… did Bellamy know?” You paused, your heart sinking as you hoped that you were wrong. It was true, you didn’t care if she had, but you did care if Bellamy did. “Did Bellamy help you?”

Clarke remained silent for a moment, thinking over what she was going to say. You felt a breath you hadn’t known you’d been holding leave you; “no.” She answered, shaking her head. “Bellamy didn’t know and when he found out, he fought me to exchange his name for yours.” Taking a deep breath, you felt relief flood you. You’d been wrong, Bellamy hadn’t visited you that night just because of guilt. Maybe he did feel guilty, but he came to you because he did love you.

“And my father?” You mumbled.

“I-I… he knew.” Swallowing the lump in your throat, you nodded, your body going numb. You couldn’t be happier that Bellamy hadn’t gone along with it, but it hurt to know that your father had known, yet wanted to help keep it a secret from you.

Your hand fell from Clarke’s shoulder and you turned, walking away.

“Y/N, look-”

You only continued to walk.

Part 25? Please let me know what you thought :)