summary: you’re a struggling musician who dropped out of college. when your parents stop paying for your apartment, you end up getting evicted. luckily, you find someone who’s looking for a roommate through a mutual friend: calum.
word count: 1,249
warnings: swearing, mention of cheating
author’s note: track the tag pillows ft calum for updates!!
It’d been a year since you put up that ‘roommate wanted’ ad on Craigslist and only three people wanted in. A pedophile (He was 63 and wanted to room with a 19-year-old. What the fuck were you supposed to think?), a tooth collector you immediately thought was creepy, and an asshole. You would’ve chosen the asshole, but he irritated you to no end. You couldn’t even stand in the same room without him sending some snarky comment about your posture and about you in general. If he came with stitches in his mouth, you’d be glad to room with him. But he didn’t.
hii!!! can i have #18 and ash? and #40 and mikey? >_< EEEK IM SO EXCITED OML I LOVE THESE
#18: “This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”
hey! i already did #40 with michael tonight, so i just did #18!
“Hey, (y/n), quick– come here,” you heard an Australian accent whisper from behind the couch as you walked into the pitch black apartment.
“Ashton? What the hell-”
“Shh! Get down,” he whispered, pulling you down beside him. “Hey baby,” he smiled, pecking you quickly on the lips.
“Can I ask why I am hiding behind the couch in the pitch dark whispering with you? Just for some context,” you questioned. Ashton was always pulling weird shit like this, so it was nothing out of the ordinary.
“We’re gonna scare the shit out of Calum to get back at him for messing with my drumkit.”
You smiled, laughing at his idiocy. “This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”
So the two of you waited there, in the pitch black of Calum and Ashton’s shared apartment, waiting for ‘the eagle to land,’ as your boyfriend put it. Eventually, thanking the heavens above because your knees hurt from kneeling on them, the door clicked, signaling that Calum was home.
He walked into the apartment, and right before he got the chance to flick the light switch, you and Ashton jumped up from behind the couch. A loud scream escaped the dark haired boy’s lips, causing him to drop his phone out of his hands.
“WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?” Calum yelled, breathing heavily.
Yourself and Ashton burst into fits of laughter, clutching your own stomachs and gasping for air. “Oh my god, the look on your face,” you cried, laughing uncontrollably.
“That’s what you get for using my drums!” Ashton retorted, continuing his hilarious fit of laughter.
“Oh, it’s on,” Calum shook his head, insinuating the start of what would be a very long prank war between the band members.
He fucked up. He fucked up so bad. While sitting on the side of his bed, he tugs his hair out of frustration. “come on ash, get youself together” he pleades himself. Tears streaming down his cheeks. Why did he let himself do this? He should have stopped himself. Why is he so stupid? Gosh, he hates himself so bad. He shouldn’t have drunk. He still sees her pain filled eyes, everytime he closes his. He still hears the shouting everytime it gets quiet. Shaking, he walks over to the mirror. A pale face, hazel eyes that are bloodshot, ‘cause of the crying. A betrayor, that’s what he sees. The images of that night flash trough his head.
She looked at him with tears in her eyes. Ashton never saw such pain. “please y/n, I’m sorry, please just- just don’t leave, please” he pleads her, frustation evident on his face. “Why wouldn’t I? You hurt me so bad ashton, so bad” she almost whispers, as she doesn’t trust her voice. he tugs at his hair. “I know y/n, I know, please don’t. God, I’m such a fuck up. why do I always ruin things?” He says, more to himself than to her, the love of his life. “I love you y/n, please know that, I love you so much” “really? It didn’t seem like it when I heard that fucking whore moaning your name like you are a fucking god!” she screams at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Fucking hell, it makes me want to gag just thinking about it! I never thought you would do this Ashton, after all those fucked up relationships I went trough, all those fucking heartbreaks, I finally thought that you would be the one you know? no more heartbreaks, no more crying over a breakup, cause miserable me thought I found the love of my life! But turns out, nothing changed, and I’m still that stupid miserable person I was before this!” He shakes it head at her statement. “No y/n, no, you are not stupid and you are not miserable. I am the one who is stupid, stupid for doing this. God, no fucking lame excuse can make this right. And sorry isn’t going to help neither. I am stupid for doing this to such a beautiful and amazing girl like you. I get that you want to break up with me now. Just know that I love you so much y/n, gosh, I love you so much it hurts! I’m sorry I’m such a stupid fucking idiot” Ashton screams, full on crying at this point. “I don’t know Ashton, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to break up with you, I love you to much for that. I just- I just need a break, I need to think.” She breathes out shakingly. He nods. “I understand. just remember that I love you and my doores are always open when you cleared out your mind. If you don’t come back to me, I understand to.” God, it hurts him to say these words, but it’s what’s best. She nods and walks upstairs to gather her belongings. That’s when Ashton looses it. He drops to the ground and let’s the tears fall. The pain in his chest is almost unbearable. He just lost everything he loved and he isn’t sure he will get it back.
He can’t take the cold nights, with no one next to him to make him warm, the lonely evenings without laughter, hugs and kisses and the soft light of a tv screen that is playing a movie that he isn’t focusing on, cause the only thing he was looking at was her. But now it’s all gone, and he never experienced such pain in his heart. He hasn’t heard of her ever since that night, and he isn’t sure how much longer he can take this. he wants to call her, evey night, just to hear her voice, and to tell her that he loves her. But she needs time, time to think, time to heal. And he isn’t sure if he will ever get her back, and that makes the pain even worse. He lays down, back on his bed and closes his eyes. If he sleeps, he won’t feel the pain, even if it’s for a second, he won’t feel it. and that’s what comforts him, as he falls into a deep slumber