fry to the my heart

Top 10 British Sitcoms! (In my personal opinion)

1) Father Ted (1995 - 1998)

What’s funnier than a bunch of bizarre priests and their clumsy housekeeper who loves tea? Well, barely anything. Hence why this is my number one.

Father Ted is one of those comedy shows that always seems to be on a channel somewhere, and no matter the episode, I’ll end up roaring with laughter. I adore this show on a magical level, and it’s definitely hard to top.

2) Blackadder (1983 - 1989)

Rowan Atkinson at his finest. Don’t get me wrong, I adore Mr Bean, but Blackadder is just spectacular. Fast paced, sarcastic and hilarious, it’s another show that I can always just pick up and burst out laughing at. One of the most interest aspects of the show though is the different era per series, however keeping the same amazing cast. Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie and Tony Robinson’s characters also having a special place in my heart due to the antics and hilarity. 

3) Fawlty Towers (1975 - 1979)

The quintessential British comedy sitcom. I don’t want to say too much about this, because if you have never seen it, shame on you.

4) Black Books (2000 - 2004)

Quite simply one of the greatest, but shortest, sitcoms ever created. Anyone who has actually seen this show has regarded it as one of their favourites of all time for good reason. Black Books follows the character of Bernard Black, the owner of a shoddy and sticky bookshop, and lacks all regard or care for people. The majority of the comedy is derived from Bernard’s two ‘friends’ who attempt to make his lifestyle more socially acceptable, much to his despair. I truly recommend checking out this show, but be prepared to be annoyed that there isn’t more!  

5) Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em (1973 - 1978)

Probably one of the favourite comedy shows I watch with my Grandfather. Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em follows the character of Frank, a childish, often moronic and insanely clumsy individual who only wants best for his family, although all he does is infuriate and anger people. A show with amazing catchphrases and hilarious situations, I simply adore this show.

6) Dads Army (1968 - 1977)

An amazing comedy focused on the Home Guard during the Second World War, the Home Guard were the volunteer army of those deemed ineligible for military service, usually due to age. The majority of the comedy derives from the pure uselessness of the group, and their lack of contribution to the war effort. The humour is often subtle and hilarious, I’d recommend it to anyone, I love it.

7) Porridge (1974 - 1977)

Ronnie Barker was one of the penultimate lords of comedy, that is all.

Porridge follows the goings on in the prison HMP Slade, following the character of Fletcher and his cellmate, an inmate serving his first sentence who Fletcher takes under his wing. The characters are strong and well written, as well as having amazing comedic timing and execution. The majority of the comedy comes from the interactions between the prisoners, as well as their relationships to the guards. It’s a show with a lot of heart and a lot of fun. 

8) Red Dwarf (1988 - ?)

Sci-Fi and sitcom, a bizarre genre hybrid that was an amazing gamble, but alas paid off incredibly well for Red Dwarf. The show follows the interesting cast of characters aboard the ‘Red Dwarf’ ship, all of whom are odd and interesting in their own ways. Unfortunately, I would not do the show justice if I were to attempt to describe the plot, so I shall urge you to check it out yourself. Trust me when I say this is an amazing show though.

9) Only Fools And Horses (1981 - 2003)

One of the longest running and most popular sitcoms in Britain, for good reason might I add. The show primarily follows the family of Del-Boy, Rodney and their Granddad (who is later replaced by Uncle Albert due to the unfortunate passing of the actor). The show is set in Peckham, a district in the south east of London, known for it’s working class citizens, the comedy mainly deriving from the vast array of occurring characters, as well as Del-Boy’s constant attempts of quick-rich schemes, with his main catchphrase being, “this time next year, we’ll be millionaires”. The show is a lot of fun, and the characters are all well written and performed and it has truly earned its cemented place as being one of the best in British history. 

10) Outnumbered (2007 - 2014)

Literally the most hilarious ‘family’ in Britain. Holy crap, I adore this show. The show is centred around a middle-class family who live in West London, the parents of whom, are ‘outnumbered’ by their 3 children. Jake, the typical teen, Ben, the hyperactive and strange child, and Karen, the oddly sarcastic child with a lot of questions, and a lot of answers. 
In essence, it’s a great show with hilarious situations, Karen and Ben being the funniest and most interesting parts of the show in all honesty. Even though it’s number 10 in my list, it’s amazing and I think everyone should attempt to watch this show.

And that comes to the end of my list, have I missed anything? What are your top 10 British Sitcoms?


TOP 20 FUTURAMA EPISODES (as voted by my followers) ↮ #15. The Farnsworth Parabox

“It contains a parallel universe! And when you create a parallel universe, it’s almost always populated by evil twins!”

19th Advent Joker Imagine

Originally posted by jokerish-darkish-mindish

Your P.O.V.

Sometimes having a cat could be a pain in the ass. Living in Gotham city in a building’s first floor was another pain in the ass as well. I left the window open and the damn cat was gone! I came home only to realize he was gone. So I had to go outside at night to go and look for Pepper.

It was winter so it was getting really cold. Thank god I had my coat on me. I walked around the streets and decided to check the park, a place I’d imagine cats being. ‘’Pepper! Hello?’’ I called out for the damn cat and ignored the looks I received from other people. It was cold, I was tired and hungry but I had to find him. I’d probably bawl my eyes out if I never found him again!

After probably an hour of walking around I had to go back home with no success. I sighed as I stepped inside. It was actually sad. My eyes stung as I put my shoes and outwear off to hang. Then I walked further inside my apartment, disappointed that Pepper was gone. I loved that cat.

‘’What took you so long?’’ A man asked me, startling the living hell out of me. I grabbed a frying pan and stepped a few steps back, my heart jolting my throat in surprise.My eyes got used to the dim lighting and then I saw him.

Out of all people I could imagine the Gotham villain himself sat on my couch. The Joker was in my apartment! ‘’What the fuck are you doing here?’’ I growled, trying to act tough so he’d leave. But what would the odds be? I’m dead! His red lips curved into a wicked smile and that’s when I saw he was doing something with his hands. I looked down to his lap where I saw a black furball.


‘’Let him go’’ I demanded angrily, feeling protective over my cat. Then I grabbed a knife with my other hand, feeling a need to be armed. I was scared as heck, ready to fight as he just sat there, petting my cat. ‘’Oh chill girl’’ Joker rolled his eyes and sighed, like he was tired of my behaviour. My mind was running in circled as I tried to process what the fuck was going on. Why did this happen to me?

‘’Pepper come here..he’s a bad man’’ I told the car, but of course he ignored me. Pepper flicked his poofy tail and I heard him purring. ‘’See? Even the cat likes me. Lower your weapons Y/N’’ Joker smirked and looked at me. My cheeks flushed and my eyes widened. ‘’How do you know my name?’’ I tried to ask confidently, but fear was obvious in my voice. Joker put the cat on the couch and stood up, walking closer to me. He completely ignored my knife. My body froze and I tried to do something, but nothing popped into my mind.

‘’G-Go away!’’ I yelled at Joker and backed away a little bit. He looked deep into my eyes and he clenched his jaw, looking angry and it really scared me. My body started trembling a little bit and my breathing paced up. Joker grabbed the frying pan and took it out of my hand, almost too easily. His eyes hypnotized me and I just let him take it without fighting back. Before he could take my knife, I pulled my hand back.

‘’No! leave me alone! Go away Joker’’ I tried to sound harsh and angry, but I was at the verge of tears. Suddenly that angry look softened on his face and he gave me a pitying look. ‘’Oh I’m so scared! It’s to he threatened by a girl who actually can hold a knife’’ he mocked me and it made my blood boil. I pointed at him with the knife, making him step back.

All the anger came back on his face and I regretted my decision immediately. ‘’Wow..I..uh I didn’t mean to..I’m sorry’’ I whimpered and the fear came crippling back. Joker looked like he was ready to murder me. Suddenly he grabbed my wrist with lighting speed and squeezed my nerves so hard it made me drop the knife. I squelaed in pain until he let go. I pulled my hand back and kept it close to my face.
‘’Don’t try to do that again kitten or else you might end up in a bad bad position’’ He warned me darkly, putting his hand on my shoulder. Then he pushed me against the wall and towered above me, making me feel small. ‘’You see..You wouldn’t want me to pull out my belt’’ He whispered darkly, sending a shiver down my spine. Although my heart was beating hard, I couldn’t control my breath and I was trembling like I was naked in the Atlantic ocean, I found this interesting. From close he was even hotter, but it didn’t make me less scared!

‘’Why are you here?’’ I whispered, trying to stop shaking but I couldn’t. Joker’s face was so close to mine now. ‘’I saw you looking for that cat of yours..I recognized you baby’’ He purred and made me hold my breath. How the fuck? ‘’I have seen you dancing at my club oh so many times. Do you know how much I have wanted you? Hm?’’ Joker asked me with a deep and raspy voice. It made my knees weak, this time I was unsure whether it was of fear or simply the hotness in his voice.

Why was I attracted by a psychopath?!

Joker’s finger touched my jaw and he forced me to look up to him. ‘’How about we get closer? Does that sound good?’’ Joker grinned and seemed to come even closer. My awkward side tried to step in between, but I tried to hold any odd words back. It ended up with me being quiet. I just nodded to him, making a pleased smile appear on that slick face.

Joker came so close that his face was right next to mine. Then I felt his lips by my ear, his hot breath landing on my skin. ‘’Why so serious? Just relax Y/N’’ He whispered into my ear and then touched my hips with his hands. Jesus Christ. ‘’I just..I don’t want you to kill me out of the blue’’ I admitted a little shyly. Suddenly Joker chuckled.

‘’Oh why would I do that? I’m kinda keen to that cat of yours. Wouldn’t want to mess with it’s owner’’ He joked a little and looked into my eyes again. ‘’He’s a real sweetheart’’ I smiled and tried to relax. So far so good, he didn’t seem like he was here to kill me. Maybe I would get out of this alive?

But the real question is, do I want to get out of this situation with him?

Once upon a mid-morn dreary, as I pondered with eyes quite
Over many a curious volume of culinary lore,
On a latte I was sucking, and yet suddenly there came a clucking,
As if some salesman were a-mucking, mucking about my kitchen
“โ€™Tis some salesman. Only this, nothing more.”

And yet presently the noise repeated. So I hollered, no longer
“Beat it, pesky husker, mucking about my kitchen door.
At my business Iโ€™m now working, so my chain youโ€™d best stop
Then throwing wide the kitchen door, I found there a chicken and
nothing more.

Leapt a back I then with a stutter, as the phantom bird did with a
Mount the folk-art bust of Julia Child there upon my kitchen floor.
Perched and sat and nothing more.
Then the palled poultry most perplexing did set my meager mind
to guessing
“From whence did you come to perch upon the bust of Julia on
my kitchen floor?”
Quoth the chicken, “Fry some more.”

As certain as my heart is ticking, Iโ€™m certain no living chicken
Has ever so clearly commanded a living cook before
With an utterance so clear and shocking that even I could not
Quoth the chicken, “Fry some more.”

Then thought I, perhaps sheโ€™s on to something.
For too long now I have been supping
On feed incapable of nourishing my anguished soul.
Perhaps some truly good eats my hungry soul could restore.
Quoth the chicken, “Fry some more.”

—  Alton Brown, Good Eats, “Fry Hard 2: The Chicken (Fried)
Lush– Nash Grier Smut

I sighed and quickly shot Nash a text, my boss bitching about my supposed ‘slacking’ with the phone calls. Yes, I am a stock-broker. And yes, women can do that too.

Me: when i get home i’m gonna take a bath. a long fucking bath. and drink tea. i’m sorry to cancel on dinner, but my boss is pissing me the fuck off at the moment.

Nash: it’s okay baby, I understand. I love you so so much, i’ll come over later and make you dinner. :)

His text made my heart flutter and my cheeks to flush. I love him. I continued making phone calls and doing a bunch of paperwork as usual, before driving home, my shoulders tense and my chest heaving heavily with deeps breaths, attempting to calm myself down. It was not working. I quickly pulled into the driveway, slamming the door to my black range-rover with force. I huffed and blew the hair out of my face and stomped my way up the porch steps, my Louboutin’s nearly screaming at me. When I opened the door, the scent of stir-fry and chow mien nearly caused my heart to stop- Well, that, and Nash standing shirtless in front of the stove with a towel on his shoulder.

“It smells so good in here.” I exclaimed as I hugged him from behind, his back a bit clammy from standing in a streamy kitchen.

“I hope you’re hungry.” He spoke smoothly, his voice raspy and warm- as usual.

“Here, sit down, have a glass of wine.” He said as he poured the white zinfandel into a wine glass. With wide eyes, I sat down at the bar and kicked my loubies off and guzzled nearly half of the glass.

“Rough day?” Nash asked as he dished up the plates with stir-fry. I nodded and washed my hands, and pulled my hair up into a bun.

“Here baby, go change. I’ll get you all set up.” He smiled and pecked my lips before pulling away, before I pulled him right back down to me. My hands held his neck, his strong arms holding me against his bare chest.

“Ah ah ah,” He tsk’d. “Don’t want to ruin your dinner.” He said with a saucy wink. My heart and stomach fluttered as I tip-toed into my bedroom, which was now spotless. Now that I’m thinking about it, the entire house is spotless.. I quickly changed into a pair of Nash’s boxer-briefs that he’s left here. We currently don’t live together, but are in the midst of getting ready to get our own place.

“Baby, did you clean.. like everything?” I asked as I walked back into the kitchen, welcomed by the two plates of steaming food and a full glass of wine, making me borderline emotional.

“Maybe.” He smirked as he took a bite. Someone is getting laid tonight. I tilted his chin up so I could kiss him gently, his lips silky, like my freshly cleaned sheets.

“I love you. Thank you so much for doing this, you have no idea how much this means to me, and how much it’s helped me.” I said somberly as I sat down next to him.

“Of course baby. I love you so so much and I would do anything for you.” He smiled, his hair crazily parted as he ran his fingers through his hair.

After eating dinner, which was borderline orgasmic, he cleared the table, poured me another glass of wine, and left the room.

“Babe, what’re you doing?” I called out as I carried my shoes into my bedroom closet. I heard the running water in my bathroom, the steaming water filling the deep tub quickly, the mirror fogged almost immediately. He shut the water off after a minute or so, the jet sin my new bathtub streaming hot water in. Nash grabbed a Lush bag that was new to me from under the sink and dropped my favorite bomb in— the sex bomb.

“Baby.. did you go to lush?” I asked, while fixing my bun.

“Only for you.” He sheepishly smiled, whilst pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, my stomach nearly exploding at the sight.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it.” He said while kissing my head, hastily walking out the door.

“Don’t even think about it.” I said, while kicking the door shut with my foot.

He sat on the toilet lid as I stood in front of him, his fingers yanking his briefs off of my as I pulled my tee shirt off. His lips left gentle kissing on my chest and clavicle, my fingers fastening in his long hair. my fingers hooked underneath the band of his sweatpants and boxers, pulling them down hastily.

He climbed in the tub first, holding out a hand to help me in. He lay with his legs stretched out and his head against the wall, as I laid between his legs, with my head on his chest. His long, bony fingers grabbed my sponge and soaked it, layering soap onto it. He rubbed in gently on my neck and chest, briefly going under the water to wash my stomach- and other bits. After I finished washing him and rinsing the sponge, I just laid with my head on his chest.

“How was work?” I whispered, breaking the temporary silence.

“It was okay, I didn’t stay for the entire shift.” He said as his hands rubbed the top of my thighs.

“Because.. I wanted to come here and get shit done, for you.” He said, his fingers rubbing my lower stomach.

“Baby.. you really didn’t have to do that.” I said, leaning my head back completely to make eye contact with him.

“I know I didn’t. But I really really wanted to.” He said, his lips trailing down my neck, his teeth gently assaulting my heated skin.

His lips lingered and nipped with rhythm, his fingers discretely lowering. He spread my lips with his fingers, the hot eater causing me to hiss. His fingers gently rubbed in slow, steady circles, while his other hand gently held my chest. He slowly sinked a finger in, my lower lip clamping between my teeth. The once-gentle assault on my neck became more intense every few seconds. His fingers moved at a quicker speed, curling with every thrust. His palm rubbed my clit indirectly, my hips grinding into his hand.

“How does that feel baby?” He said, his fingers pinching my nipple. I moaned in response, my chest heaving rapidly with every minuscule movement.

He slowly pulled his fingers out of me and rubbed the top of my thigh, my neck glowing red and purple. He leaned so he could grab the shower head, which was now running.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“Gotta rinse all the soap off of you.” He said as he held the massaging shower head a few inches from my skin, causing my skin to glow a pulsating red.

His fingers sunk back into me as he lowered the shower head onto my clit, the combination of the hot pulsating stream and his fingers curled inside of me caused my head to swim. I could feel him slowly harden against me as I clenched around his fingers, his moan causing my chest to heave even more.

“You are so fucking sexy. Fuck.” He whined as I held him in my hand behind me, my thumb gently rubbing the tip. He shut the shower head off and flipped me around to face him, his lips immediately connected to mine. His pupils were dilated to the point where his iris’ were barely visible, his cock resting against my pale skin.

“I want you so badly.” He moaned into my mouth, my hands gently rubbing him. I sat up on my knees and straddled his hips, and lined him up. I gently slid onto him, the slow splash of the water and our moans the only thing heard in the entire house. I rolled my hips against him slowly, but forcefully.

“Baby.. fuck.” He was cut out by my lips closing over his, his warm tongue greeting mine in a heated embrace. His hips met mine as we made love, his arms wrapped tightly around me, as mine on him. My mind raced as I clenched around him, we are one. One mind, one body, one soul. I love him.

“I love you so fucking much.” I whimpered as he thrusted more sharply into me, his heated, slippery hands holding my lower back as he moaned into my neck.

“I love you baby.” He nearly whimpered as I tightened around him, his head leaned back, rested against the cool tile. His adams apple bobbed as he moaned, his neck vibrating with every sound that leaked out of his mouth. I hid my forehead in his neck, our hips rocking together.

“I’m so close baby.. mmm.” He groaned, his tongue peeking out to lick his lips. I lifted my hips off of him so we were barely connected, before slamming back down, the water splashing all over the both of us.

“Do that again, babe, oh my god.” He said as he held my hips; guiding me. I repeated the action several times until his eyes scrunched closed tightly and he twitched inside me, he came. He rubbed my clit insanely fast, the water slowing his actions, but also making them more intense.

He pulled out of me and pulled me into his chest, his heartbeat still erratic from the orgasm he just endured.

“You never cease to amaze me, baby girl.” He said in a raspy tone, his fingers pulling the drain plug out of the drain, the water slowly emptying the tub, using goosebumps to rise on my naked wet body. He climbed out of the tub and lifted me onto the toilet lid, leaving the bathroom momentarily before returning with one towel. He wrapped it around his back and arms, before opening them and welcoming me into his warm arms.

hi it me im back

Teacher Gilinsky XXVIII

Teacher Gilinsky– Part XXVIII

Songs of the chapter:

Without Words by: Ray LaMontagne

The Lucky One by: Taylor Swift

Pumpkin Blood (Acoustic) by: NONONO

Turning Page by: Sleeping At Last (fav omg)

Jack stood in the kitchen with his back facing me, his back muscles flexing as he chop the lettuce and vegetables. I took a sip from my smart water, desperately wishing it was coffee.

“The salad is almost done.” Jack turned back, smiling at me. I reached over the bar, careful of my bump, and kissed his lips. After he finished the salad, we ate quickly before getting ready for my maternity shoot. My outfit consisted of a long cream sweater, black leggings, a gray and black scarf, and my brown combats. I curled my hair with my curling wand, the loose beach waves flowing in the wind in the field.

We met with the photographer in a grassy field on the way towards Spokane, the 2 and ½ hour drive a little agonizing for me. Jack was worried I was going to give birth in the middle of nowhere, but I don’t think so.

Jack’s Point of View~

She looked so beautiful. Pregnancy is a damn good look on her. I stood behind her, her shirt no longer covering her bump. We made a heart with our hands over her belly button, her breathing ragged as I breathed down her neck. After taking multiple pictures, we made it back to Seattle safely. Once back in our town, we decided on Red Robin, considering we’re both starving.

“So.. I found something.. interesting in your sock drawer this morning.” She said, as she bit into a fry. My heart nearly stopped along with my breathing, but I continued eating.

“What did you find?” I asked, taking a sip of my limeade.

“Oh, just your porn mags.” She laughed. I let out a sigh of relief, but then covered my reddening face.

“Ah, love, it’s okay.” She laughed. Uh, that laugh, I thought, The most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard, well, next to Jasmine’s.

After paying the bill, we picked Jasmine up from my Mom’s house. The drive back to the house was short, Jasmine munching on the leftover french fries from earlier. We all cuddled on the couch and watched Shrek, apparently it was Jasmine’s favorite. She fell asleep with her head in my lap, Y/N carefully moving off the couch to help me lift Jas. Y/N trailed quietly behind me into Jasmine’s room, carefully closing the oak door.

“Wait,” Jasmine sleepily whispered. Y/N looked at me as I held my finger up to signal I’d be back in a minute. I walked quickly into my bedroom and opened my sock drawer, grabbing the Verragio box from inside my tube sock. I opened it and grinned, the diamonds even more beautiful than I remembered. I closed took the ring out of the box and held it in my sweaty palm tightly as I walked back to Jasmine’s room.

Y/N was laying next to Jasmine on her queen sized bed, combing her fingers through Jas’s hair.

“Daddy, can you tell me a story?” Jasmine asked, the little smirk on her face indicated that she was now in on the plan.

“Sure, sweets.” I smirked right back.

Y/N’s Point of View~

“Once upon a time, there was a Teacher and a Student.” Jack started. My eyes darted up to him as he continued to speak.

“She was the fairest and prettiest in all the land,” He said while smiling at me.

“What was her name?” Jasmine said, while looking up at him from her long eyelashes.

“Y/N.” Jack said, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Get shrek’d, dad.” Jasmine sighed and she rolled her eyes. I nearly suffocated trying to stifle my laugh.

“After several months of a secret relationship with the student, the Teacher made a inevitable decision,” He paused.

“He got down on one knee,” Jack paused, while transitioning down on one knee.

“And said; Y/F/N, will you do me the honor of being my wife?” He said, while holding the ring from the shop. I covered my mouth and looked up at him, scrambling off Jasmine’s bed to sit on the edge in front of him.

“A-are you serious?” I said, muffled through my hand. He nodded and smiled.

“Y-yes! Of course, I will marry you.” I said, my breathing rapid.

“Babe, oh my god, did you just pee from excitement?” He laughed. My eyebrows screwed in confusion before looking down.

“My water just broke.” I whispered.


Everlark Advent: Day 15, For Unto Us, Part 3

Part 3 of what will be a five part story.ย Part 1 and Part 2

For Unto Us, Part 3

Rated T

Despite my late night, Iโ€™m up long before dawn. After all of these years in the bakery, Iโ€™m not sure I could sleep in anymore.

After I dress, I pad out into the hallway. The door to Katnissโ€™s room is still partly opened, I canโ€™t resist looking in on her. Sheโ€™s asleep, the hall light spills across her face where it just peeks out from her nest of pillows and blankets.

Sheโ€™s a beautiful woman. Perhaps not conventionally so, but with her smooth olive skin, straight black hair and those shocking silver eyes, sheโ€™s exotic. Mesmerizing. Iโ€™m not foolish enough to believe that she was actually sent as an answer to my heartsick prayer. But a small part of me canโ€™t help wishing. And she did keep me from being lonely, if only for an evening.

Keep reading


After hitting my head against the wall several times, I realized after asking y’all for input as to which Neil Gaiman books you’d like to see here for the upcoming online auction, I’d failed to turn on the freakin’ replies and the ability to send an Ask.


So here we go again:

Which book(s) would you be willing to bid on (we need to think high bids here, folks: they’re signed copies by Neil, plus it’s a BENEFIT to go directly to the bookstore, to expand, keep us going, buy more books, etc.).

And remember to spread the word! I’m working with my web server company right now (all praise goes to the geeks at Hosting Matters!) to set stuff up so we don’t fry the servers there when this auction opens. And my heart goes to Neil to remember old friends by helping us this way. <3 to you, Neil.

Please let a reply or Ask here! Which books would you bid on?!


FULL ACCEPTANCE SPEECH OF DAVID TENNANT - NTA’s 2015 from Special Achievement Award. Includes little speeches of Catherine Tate, Olivia Colman, Richard Wilson, Billie Piper, Russell T. Davies, Stephen Fry and… his dad!