fry shirt



“Trying to distract me?” I pretend to shrug it off, ignoring the heat all over my face.

He cocks his head to side, a picture of innocence. He even claps his hand to his chest, forcing a false gasp as if to say Who, me? “You’ll just fry the shirt anyway. I’m saving supplies. But,” he adds, beginning to circle, “a good soldier uses every advantage at his disposal.”

One time Fry races into his and Bender’s apartment, sneakers skidding on the floor as he runs into the bathroom, and hastily opens the door only to almost pee himself (he’s already painfully held it in for hours now) as Bender shrieks and slams the door so harshly it falls off of it’s hinges at the top.

Neither of them make a sound for a moment, and after checking that he didn’t actually pee his pants, Fry tentatively opens the door. And there is Bender, trying to struggle out of one of his spare red jackets , wearing a similar face to the one he wears when the police are about to get him. Fry knows that face to usually mean he needs to run, but he doesn’t think he needs to run right now.

Bender looks up at Fry from between the buttons (which are askew) with wide optics and his arms tangled in the red sleeves over his head. They both pause, and Fry thinks that if Bender needed to breath he would have stopped then, either out of shock or want to die of embarrassment. Fry isn’t really sure what he should be feeling in this moment, but finds himself some place in-between really really happy to find Bender in his jacket for whatever reason and really really blushy. Also he really really has to pee.

He settles for praying that his face isn’t as red as his hair and slowly walking over to the still still - Ha, still still - robot, vaguely wondering if Bender could malfunction and if he’d have to carry him somewhere to get fixed. Fry honestly couldn’t carry Bender, he’d have to call Leela, she’s probably the only one that was strong enough, her biceps are huge. Fry wishes his biceps were that huge, then he could give Bender piggy back rides and hold him in his arms. Fry shakes his head, that was beside the point, whatever the point was.

Fry coughs awkwardly, looking at the dirty shower curtain behind them - Oh, there’s the pepperoni he thought fall in the drain when he was eating pizza in the shower, he’ll have to eat that later - as he gently pulls Bender’s arms down and idly rebuttons the shirt for him. His hands end up resting on Bender’s chest, fingers pitter-pattering in a nervous and stuttered rhythm. Fry hums, this feels nice.

Fry looks up to the mirror to find Bender looking intensely at him and jumps a little, pulls his hands back to rest by his sides. Fry doesn’t really know what’s he’s doing, but he never knows what he’s doing or supposed to be doing, so he doesn’t really care anyway.

Fry bounces on the balls of his feet and watches the lines of Bender’s mouth guard move listlessly, no sound coming out, and suddenly feels an urgent need to reassure Bender that they were cool.

Fry coughs again and steps back, one hand tangling in his bright hair and the other shoved deep into his pocket, fingers playing with the lint there. He looks away from Bender,

“You can, uh,” Fry scratches his head and tries again, says too loudly and too rushed, “Feel free to keep the jacket, Bender! I have, like, twenty hundred of them, so…”

Fry trails off, thinking that was probably a good point to end the conversation. He nods to himself in congratulations, happy he didn’t say anything weird or stupid, and reaches behind himself around to open the door behind him. He fumbles a bit with the doorknob, its a little lower then he’s used to with the door being off a hinge as it was, and looks over his shoulder to see Bender still has his optics locked on his. The robot still hasn’t made a sound.

“Um…” Fry’s breath catches a bit and he gives Bender a once over without thinking, eyes lingering over the way his jacket stretches over Bender’s round shoulders. They kind of makes Fry think of a trashcan, but an attractive one. Not that Bender’s a trashcan, or that Fry’s attracted to trashcans, because he’s not, Bender just- looks really good all the time. If he was a trashcan Fry’s sure he would be an attractive one, Bender could probably be an attractive anything if he tried. Again, not that Fry’s attracted to trashcans. Fry shakes his head and starts over,

“You look really good in it, too! The red really brings out your, uh, metal or something.”

Fry falters and turns back around quickly, hand rattling the doorknob, “Anyway, I’m just gonna-” he bolts before Bender can respond.

Fry groans as he runs, why did he have to go and say something weird? He was doing so good! Now he has to find somewhere else to pee before his bladder erupts.

Fry runs past the kitchen before skidding to a stop, turning around, and looks from the kitchen sink, to the direction of the bathroom, and back again… Are there laws in the future against peeing in the kitchen sink?

The Upperclassmen As Things I've Said

Dan: “I would platonically marry each and every one of you - except for you, you I would just bang.”

Matt: “Instead of pornbots, there should just be catbots. I am ten-times more likely to click a link to a cute kitty than to a dick. Also the first person to make the mandatory pussy comment gets a french fry.”

Allison: “Shirts? Why would I need a shirt? People need to see my boobs up close in personal to know they mean business.”

Renee: “How many times do I have to go to church before I can become god?”

Seth: “Does weed really relieve period cramps? I’m asking for a friend.”

The first time Fry takes off his jacket in front of Bender and is wearing only a white sleeveless undershirt Bender almost falls out of his seat. (Its mid-summer and the heat is blistering, they’re skipping their shift, hanging out on the deck of the Planet Express building and trying to stay cool under loftily made sheet-umbrellas.) He manages play it cool, though, with some completely unecessary coughing (Bender has no lungs) and making some offhand comment about being temporarily blinded by the paleness of Fry’s arms , casually hiding behind lighting up a cigar.

The real story, though, is that he never realized that Fry would actually have arms underneath all that fabric, not to mention some pretty hefty biceps (“underdeveloped” or not, Bender still likes them more then is probably reasonable), and he definitely didn’t expect them to be littered with a smattering of freckles, either.

Fry doesn’t take note of Bender’s comment, only continues complaining about the too-hot heat, thoughtlessly throwing his jacket behind him. It’ll probably be eaten by Zoidberg later.

Bender abruptly stands up, announcing his departure by grinning and exhaling a cloud of smoke into Fry’s face. Fry grimaces and is in the middle of trying to somehow blow the smoke away without inhaling any of it when Bender wordlessly heads toward the cooler.

Bender thinks to himself that maybe he should try and get Fry to take off his jacket more often. He opens the cooler and pulls out a couple of beers - It could be fun. Bender silently walks back, pausing behind Fry’s chair to drop a half-melted ice cube down his tank top, laughing when Fry jumps away with a yelp.

Bender sits down and watches Fry over the head of the beer he’s got set against his mouth, grinning to himself as Fry scrambles to get the ice cube out of his shirt. When Fry finally settles Bender gives him a moment, smirking in the face of his glare. He shrugs in response,

“Just trying to help ya cool off, meatbag.“

He tosses a freezing bottle of beer into Fry’s lap, making it look accidental, and stifles another smile when Fry shrieks again and desperately tries to get it away from his crotch. Fry’s arms are funny and pink in the harsh summer sunlight, looking like they’d acquired more freckles in the past two minutes then they’d had before.

Bender dutifully opens the bottle for Fry after the redhead manages to get a hold of it and shoves it in Bender’s face, scowling. Bender lightly grabs Fry’s wrist, knowing his fingers are as cold as the beer, if not colder, and smiles when Fry flinches reflexively from the cold but doesn’t pull away. Bender guides the bottle to Fry’s lips and gently pours, smirking at the way Fry’s face quickly becomes as flushed red as his sunburnt shoulders and at the way Fry swallows thickly, like his throat has suddenly filled with cotton.

Bender gently let’s go of Fry’s wrist, leans back into his lawn chair, looks Fry in his no-longer-scowling eyes and winks. Bender hums idly to himself and lowers his sunhat over his face. Yeah, messing with Fry when he doesn’t have his jacket on is definitely fun.

And cute.

cr1tikal meme 

  • i’m gonna call your parents and tell them you pissed all over the house. then i’m going to piss all over the house to really sell it.
  • let me just murder this asshole real quick.
  • although my physical appearance may not look it, i am human.
  • he’s got some serious wheels, but i’ll take him down.
  • be advised,  POTUS has gone crowd surfing.
  • i’m gonna coat this bitch in grapeseed so he slips and kills himself. that’ll teach him.
  • he looks like he’s about to cry. he looks like he’s in perpetual misery.
  • your mouth says “not bad”, but your eyes say “everything’s bad.”
  • you can’t tell by my face, but i’m happy too.
  • what the fuck is going on? is this guy trying to speak underwater?
  • phones cant mumble, where the fuck are you from, you neanderthal? 
  • this is some hogwash and a half.
  • he’s a big strong man, with big strong nipples.
  • tally-ho, pussy.
  • it’s four o’clock; time to scream.
  • i am thor with a smaller hammer and less lightning. 
  • he’s ready to break some dicks and eat some bricks.
  • son of a fucking open door.
  • this dirty boy don’t ever get clean.
  • got the hang of what, small micro-penis dick-man?
  • is that a french fry wearing a plaid shirt?
  • i don’t think he fell asleep. he looks like he was shot by a high caliber sniper round.
  • today i am answering life’s most troubling questions: who made backpacks? 
  • look, i’m sorry i hit you with my axe a couple hundred times.
  • the fuck is this hostility? i said “excuse me.” 
  • i have a sneaking suspicion that __ is possessed by a very happy demon.
  • this man’s missing his head and his arm.
  • don’t force feed me. not in front of grandma. 
  • oh, did you mean me? sorry, i was just over here, busting a move.
  • they call this move the “soggy grandpa.”
  • i have forearms made of titanium. 
  • time to drift this bitch out of here.
  • i didn’t want my hand put back on, let alone by staples.
  • you deranged, michael stevens-looking motherfucker.
  • real men use their hips, not their fists.
  • throw some dollar bills my way, i’ll throw my ass in a circle.
  • i’ve never invited you to dinner, and i never will, now.
  • where do you think you’re going? say my name again.
  • let me tell you why your father is an asshole.
  • they look like tonka toys strapped to a punching bag.
  • holy shit. where did that janitor come from?
  • clearly i can’t find the door, you son of a bitch.
  • oh shit, what the fuck? did a little ballet maneuver and skedaddled.
  • you’ve gotta be putting my groceries away.
  • they’re calling back, they want that pussy.
  • does she have bigger tits, is that the problem?
  • if you’re hungry, maybe you should go and eat shit.
  • nothing quenches my thirst like some nice liquid chlamydia. 
  • if its in his room i’m going to eat my asshole.
  • of course i’m going to call that turbo dickhead, why wouldn’t i?

els-main  asked:

Yamaguchi calls Tsukkishima his "tall, salty but soft French fry" or has a shirt that has Tsukkishima's face on a French fry that says "tall, salty, soft" and tsukkishima feels weird about both

tsukki doesn’t believe he can be soft but he is

~ Mod Han

Falling (ReaderxDean)

Request: Dean x Reader where the reader is a history teacher who knew Dean when they were younger. They reunite when the brothers are investigating a case at her school- lincolncupcake

Dean and his Colette scenario - anon

Warnings:  fluff, teen!Dean feels

Words: 2611

Note: In the beginning Dean is about 17 and the reader is 15, so it’s not that underaged…Also, there will be a part two that will get more into the Colette scenario, and hope you like the pairing of these requests together!

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