frustratingly

Tall Secrets
(Kai Parker x Reader)

Request from @vashanatasha : Hello it’s me again)) Could you write about Kai where Elene say to y/n “He is a monster! He tried to kill Bonny and he tortured me! How can you love him?”

Warning: Angst

*Scandal*

I whisper in my head as he gently presses me against the wall, holding my wrists pinned up above my head. His lips were tantalizingly slow, pulling away each time when I would get the chance to kiss him full on the lips. Kai loves making this frustratingly hard for me. He loved how i would tip toe for him just to be able to reach his lips just because i could not grab his shoulder and use them as leverage.

*Scandal* I whisper again in my head

Suddenly I am picked up from the ground and thrown into the bed as his lips continues to scour every inch of my skin. I bite down the inner flesh of my lip watching the way he’s lips trailed down my collarbone. I tussle his hair ever so gently and he looks up at me with these dark chocolate colored alluring seductive eyes and I loose my breath instantly.


“Scandal” I sigh the word feeling his smirk pressing against the base of my neck.

“You know what I love about being your little secret y/n” He interlocks with my fingers, yanking my hand up to kiss each fingers with dangerous eyes on me

“I love how you struggle to keep your morals intact with me”

“No, I do not” I chuckle as his lips now draws a straight line down my arm and up my shoulder, rendering my eyes to roll up into their sockets.

“I break you” He says in a voice that makes me mewl his name under my breath.

“I make you break me…it’s not the same”

“Pretty…perfect…good…innocent y/n oh so bad for me” He nips the flesh right below my ear while skimming his hand lower and lower into my leggings.

“We need to stop” I whisper unwillingly and he suddenly comes up with dark crackling vampire eyes with his fangs slightly exposing. I could feel his chest rumble on mine from that deep growling sound he made. I don’t move an inch, surprisingly not out of fear but out of awe because i never knew vampire looked this beautiful. I smile nervously watching the way Kai licks one of his twin fangs.

“Why, you afraid I’m going to siphon you y/n?” He asks, eyes still crackling as veins ran like wild fire around his eyes,

“I’m not magic” I whisper

“Oh you are magic all right…the things you do to me” He comes down, dragging his fangs against the flesh of my neck.

“Kai” I say a little cautiously and he quickly comes up, eyes getting darker now.

“You’re afraid of me…just like everybody else” He whispers “Because you think i’ll kill you”

Instantly I grab his chin and yank him down and kiss him flush on the lips. I open his mouth and let my tongue feel the texture of one of his fangs. Kai shudders above me holding my waist to his firmer, his kiss getting urgent and heated.  By the time he pulls away his eyes where his eyes again, vulnerable and human.

“I’m not afraid of you…I’m afraid of losing you” I grasp his collar “Dammit Malachai…I don’t ever want to lose you”

“Too bad you won’t…tragic” He smirks.

“You need to go now…before they see you here”

“One more” He whispers and i try to shove him off me

“No, I’m serious, Damon and Stefan will be back home soon”

“One more” He looks down at me “Pretty…pretty…pretty”

“Kai…” I smile, toying with one of his silver ring

“Please”

Just as I am about to pull him down for another kiss, Kai is ripped out of my arms by an unknown force.

The next thing I know, Kai is pressed up against the wall in a chokehold by Damon while Elena and Bonnie stand at the entrance of my bedroom with horror plastered on each their faces. I don’t know what to do in that moment as i stand helplessly by the bed with my heart beating out of my chest as i feel the crushing weight of disappointment radiating off of them. My stomach lurches, the air smelling pungent in my head and my lungs rejecting the oxygen it starved as i stared at the way Kai looked toward my direction, ignoring Damon’s audible snarls. 


“D-Damon please don’t-”

“Please don’t?” Elena’s voice cuts in, I turn to look at her now, feeling my eyes sting.

I am flying off the ground now, My head getting lighter. I didn’t know what was worse with all these imaginary scenarios my head kept playing to me. One included a very graphic imagination of Damon decapitating Kai, coloring my room with red. I just finished painting my room a week ago. That would suck. I now enter the stratosphere, going higher and higher as i try to collect the words for Elena’s demanding question but my mind kept robbing the words from my lips and it was hard. Suddenly an answer comes and i come back down like a meteorite. Bursting into flames and ready to cause some damage. I grip the hem of my shirt, more tears releasing as i open and release the words. 


“I love him”

Bonnie instantly hands her head, Damon’s face contorting into a disgusted painful expression while Kai continues to look at me as if someone had shot an arrow through his heart. I was taken back at how he was not smirking…infact he looked more hurt than proud of my proclamation of my love for him. He was no longer a secret, he should be happy but instead Kai’s eyes saddens as he watches me struggle to catch my breath under Elena’s judging eyes. 


“He is a monster! He tried to kill Bonnie and he tortured me! How could you love him?” Elena’s voice cuts me. Suddenly Damon bellows in pain struggling to pop his dislocated broken arm back into space as Kai falls over to catch his breath. Bonnie extends her hand, about to whisper a spell before Kai scampers and grabs her wrist, siphoning her magic. Bonnie screams in pain, her knees giving way.

“Gee Bonster, forgot how good your magic felt” Kai turns and watches Damon and Elena coming his way.

*Stop*

With a twist of his hand, Kai sends both Elena and Damon to crash down by making them fall to their knees with aneurism. Both scream under their breaths, while holding their heads as their nose begins to bleed. I stare in utter shock as Kai single handedly manages to bring 3 people down in a blink of an eyes.

“Stop” I whisper but he could not hear me, he was too busy inflicting pain on my friends. Bonnie is about to fall unconscious.

“STOP” I scream this time and all three of them stop screaming and fall hard into the ground as he stops the spell. Kai blinks, as if he was coming out of a trance and glares at me, taking a breather.

“Now you see…” Bonnie says in a strangled voice “No matter what good you see on the surface…the old him is still inside of him” Kai blinks quietly in response and hangs his head tiredly. I rush up to help Elena. She buries her nose into my neck and sobs as Damon hand fumbles and holds hers. I look up at Kai who stares down at me.

“Out” I whisper and watch the way his lips quivered.

He turns and looks down at Bonnie who was struggling on the ground and tries to help her by reaching out a hand to help her up but Bonnie slaps his hand away in anger. Kai swallows and watches me as i glare at him.

“GET OUT!” I scream now and watch him wince and take a step backward.

“I’m so sorry” He mumbles and just like that vanishes, like every ghost story that i have read.

2

Mini self project - Placing Gwen and Morgana in period clothing.
1900′s - Outdoor day wear & evening wear
(note the background are edited photo’s because it’d take too long to individually draw them and I’m lazy af)

Probably already been done but I love the idea of Marinette and Adrien dating and then getting married and still frustratingly oblivious to each other as Ladybug and Chat Noir. Then Marinette finds out she’s pregnant and is nervous about telling her husband so she goes to Chat Noir as Ladybug and tells him. He’s super excited for her and asks her what her husband thinks to which she replies “Adrien doesn’t know yet”

2

Trail of Echoes: A Detective Elouise Norton Novel (2016) 

“On a rainy spring day in Los Angeles, homicide detective Elouise “Lou” Norton is called away from a rare lunch date to Bonner Park, where the body of thirteen-year-old Chanita Lords has been discovered. When Lou and her partner, Colin Taggert, take on the sad task of informing Chanita’s mother, Lou is surprised to find herself in the apartment building she grew up in.

Chanita was interested in photography and, much like Lou, a black girl destined to leave the housing projects behind. Her death fits a chilling pattern of exceptional African-American girls–dancers, artists, honors scholars-gone recently missing in the same school district, the one Lou attended not so long ago.

Lou is valiantly trying to make a go of life after her divorce and doing everything she can to avoid her long estranged father. She races to catch a serial killer, but he remains frustratingly out of her reach, sending cryptic cyphers and taunting clues that arrive too late to prevent the next death. This one is personal, and it’s only a matter of time before he comes after Lou herself.”

by Rachel Howzell Hall

Get it  now here

Rachel Howzell Hall is the author of Trail of Echoes (Forge), the third novel in her new mystery series featuring LAPD Homicide Detective Elouise Norton. The first, Land of Shadows, received a starred review from Publisher’s Weekly, and was included on the Los Angeles Times’ “143 Books to Read This Summer” and the U.K Telegraph’s “Top Ten Crime Books for Summer.” Rachel was also a featured novelist on NPR’s acclaimed ‘Crime in the City’ series.

Her first novel, A Quiet Storm, was a featured selection of Borders’ Original Voices program, as well as an alternate selection of the Black Expressions book club. She is the marketing manager of individual giving at Pancreatic Cancer Action Network. Rachel lives with her husband and daughter in Los Angeles, the land of exceptional drought.


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autistic-maya-fey  asked:

Klance for the ask meme?

♡ Send me a ship and I’ll tell you

Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa

Lance would, most definitely. Keith would just open the door the correct way all smooth like and embarrass Lance.

Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them

Keith because he is Extra™

Who starts the tickle fights

Lance but he never wins.

Who starts the pillow fights

Keith probably he has anger he needs to work out and Lance his so frustratingly hot.

Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile

Both of then but Keith tries to bit down his smile Lance is just like hey this gay is my boyfriend look.

Who mistakes salt for sugar

Pre coffee - Keith

While trying to show off and not paying full attention to his engredients - Lance

Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning

Keith because Lance snores and he is getting revenge.

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines

Lance, its always Lance.

Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order

Keith does

Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies

Lance does and Keith hates that he finds that attractive

Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion

Lance probably

Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen

Keith would so draw all over himself and Lance when ever he gets the chance. Lance would draw penises.

Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation

Keith probably likes little souvenirs like that

Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines

Lance totally does that

Where exactly in the journey do you lose yourself?
I think it’s that the point where the memories start to wither, but you still experience those feelings like it was yesterday. Frustratingly, you go through those range of emotions.
It’s like telling someone you hurt me and I’m still hurting, but I don’t remember what happened.
That’s what absolute helplessness is all about.
That’s when you realize that the pain has cascaded to your very core.
And that’s when you’ll trade anything to escape that space.

A lot of nice parallels between Mob and Saitama as characters are not only the things that make them the same, but the things that make them EXACT opposites

Like,

Saitama:

●Physically TOO strong, uses his power whenever it’s convenient

●Uses his power against anyone that he needs to stop

●Wants a good fight but never gets one because he’s TOO strong

●Has mostly a few admirers, rivals, enemies, and people that question him all the time and probably family back home that are like “Ok. But when are you gon’ get a REAL job????”

●Very hard to look at sometimes because he comes off frustratingly cocky af

●You kinda want to smack him sometimes and see him fail BUT you also mostly want to see him succeed and gain personal victory

●Wasn’t inherently born with power but is literally SO powerful because one day he just decided to not give a single fuck ever again


Mob:

●Mentally MASSIVLY strong

●Doesn’t rely on his power much ever

●Is hesitant in using his power and especially reluctant on using it against people

●Has close family and a decent support group of friends (and A LOT of admirers)

●Wants people to just stop fighting and never wants to fight, also gets thwacked around a lot and isn’t necessarily invincible

●Very humble and not necessarily aware that he’s all that great

●You never want him to be hurt or lose, you always wish for his success (and if you don’t ????monster???wtf??)

●Was born with his power and it’s only at his most powerful when fueled by his heavy emotions because he cares A LOT


And they’re both loveable characters, I really like that.

Mark Drabble: Missing You

Originally posted by jordragon

Type: Slight Angst & Fluff 
[Drabble Challenge]

#6 “Fine go out with your friends. I hope you have fun.”

#68 “Shh, don’t say a word.”

Keep reading

Gender Dysphoria And You

I’m never sure how to format these posts. Not just the ones on tumblr’s easy to use yet frustratingly difficult posting system. Nor ones where I may have indulged in one too many drinks previously and am in a constant tug of war with my Samsung’s autocorrect (fuck you all the way to he’ll). I know what I mean to type phone, stop policing me. No, beyond the jokes I mean one about me. A personal post. One where I drop all the pre fabrication, the smoke screen of silly I often use to blanket my insecurities and actually face the proverbial music. Hell I’m already a paragraph in and I’ve started tip toeing and misaligning my point instead talking about my phone and tumblr. But no.

For those who know me, which is surprisingly more than I ever thought possible, I’m often seen like an all together, well aligned, almost adjusted person. I know I’m amazed too. I like to talk and help people with their problems, tied to a loud voice and penchant for embarrassing myself it alludes to a sort of confidence a comedian has. Fragile but, its there. It doesn’t help that I’m an often irritably facesitious and sarcastic person with a habit of dodging questions. I’m like a politician of self reflection avoiding any kind of real, personal, emotional connection. So actually just a politician. Let me just say that it fucking sucks. Bad. Baaaaaaaaad.

But because of that it has led to a peculiar position where almost no one knows me. Hell even the few times I drink too much and spill some kind of deep seated emotion alongside the overfilled glass, those closest to me will not ask, or question, or respond because I assume they don’t think it’s real. Or they don’t know what to think of me. Again, I refer to my ‘it fucking sucks’ quote.

I live a life where I can’t open up because I set myself up as someone who doesn’t open up. I’m terrified to drop this look of the stoic, emotionless help desk for others because I’m terrified they’d not have anyone to turn to to spill their emotions. Someone who isn’t involved or worried or going to break with the load. But surprisingly, no one is like that. Even politicians have emotions….I think….

I want to turn out to get help but I hate myself for it for the variety of reasons stupid people do. Pride, fear, loathing….in Las Vegas…. again jokes, I’ll cut it out I swear. And when you try to subtly hint at things, and by subtle I mean the subtlety of a tap dancing elephant, and no one responds, it hurts.

Occasionally you just want to be the one that doesn’t instigate it. You want someone else to ask how you are, and when you fob off the question with a wishy washy ‘I’m fiiiiine’, they sit you down, stare you in the eyes and really ask you. They beat the emotions out of you and force you to.come to terms with yourself, before you make a joke change the subject and disappear again. You want them to break you down and to cry on their shoulder. You want to feel human again.

I suffer from Gender dysphoria and I’m transgendered. Though I have the body of Ryan Gosling (unofficially) my brain is female. I want to be female and I probably should be female. But God pressed the wrong button on the production line.


Phew, that was hard to say. Let me throw a few more jokes in to make myself feel better. Something something pop culture reference something something furries.

It took a long time to admit it. It took a longer time to come to terms with it. I might still not have to be honest. But having it eat me up inside every day is slowly driving me to insanity. I need to just splurge my negativity out onto this autocorrect, this horrible posting system, and just hope it helps. It might for a bit, or for longer or shorter than a bit. But I needed to say it.

Ultimately it’s a mental disorder and one I wish I didn’t have. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and be happy in my skin, happy to be who I am, and just be happy. But I can’t. I spend most of my time dissuaded with the world because I’m not aligned with it. I’m not aligned with me. The few times female pronouns slip through I get a wash of cold air in the desert of self loathing. Hell people treating me feminine can often bring me close to tears but thats probably just the thousands of bottles of the years being shattered. I feel normal. It’s impossible to explain to people who don’t suffer from it. It’s almost impossible to understand it yourself, but sometimes you’ve just got to try.

To be fair it’s probably the reason it effects so much, that longing for it. That feeling of being lost amongst or against it. It’s like my body and world are in a cult and the brain is the one that disbelieve the doctrine. I’m still rock n roll as fuck though, let’s not let that slide. But only one or two know about the other side of the girl in the jacket. Her interests which are buried, hidden and most probably, really embarrassing.

I should probably wrap this post up. This wasn’t supposed to turn into this. But it might help. I hope it does. That or the doctor.


Love you all,
Sometimes Emily. Emotionless reception desk. x

We’ll forget about our sorrows
And think about a brighter day,
Cause life is beautiful that way.
There’s still another game to play
And life is beautiful that way.
—  Thinking about Italy and hugging every single one out there

outerspxcehood  asked:

calum one based on falling for you by the 1975? thanks love

You sat at your desk, frustratingly gripping your hair. You stared at the blank document in on the screen in front of you, the dashing line flashing on and off as if it’s teasing you. You just groaned in frustration, putting your head down, extremely tired of not knowing what to do. But a knock at your window made you jump, throwing your head up and looking over. You peeked through, seeing your waving bestfriend, Calum, making you smile a bit.

“Cal, I told you I need to focus on this paper.” You said, trying to hide your smile a bit. “You told me that 6 hours ago, (Y/N). I can tell you haven’t taken a break because you have even read my texts, that’s way too much.” He explained, sounding a little concerned. Your eyes widened a bit at his words, looking over and just now taking notice of how late it really was. Sighing, you just said, “I’ll take a break later, I promise.” “No, (Y/N). It’s Saturday night and you’re gonna take a break, I’m making sure of it. Now, let me in please.” He demanded, his voice still playful. You just smiled at him, rolling your eyes before closing the window and letting him in.

Before you knew it, you knew it bags and cartons of junk food surrounded you two as the movie, Caroline played on the screen. You sat on your bed, your head laying on Calum’s chest and your arms wrapped around him. You slowly felt yourself drift off, your eyes fluttering shut as you listening to his heartbeat. Calum just smiled fondly at you, kissing your head and whispering, “I think I’m falling for you, (Y/N). One day, I’ll be able to tell you that when your awake.” Little did he know, he already did just that and that’s the reason why you really fell asleep with a smile on your face.

a person’s scent is such a big deal for me and it’s the first thing I notice about people. yet I have no fucking clue what mine is.

I know I smell pretty clean because I’m frustratingly self aware about hygiene but like, what the fuck do I smell like to other people? I don’t think I have a smell. I don’t wear cologne or use particularly strong scented soap so I just smell like me. whatever the fuck that is.

bodies are weird.

2

Cut a goat out of paper to have some more decoration on my otherwise frustratingly bare walls. Turned out quite nice and wasn’t as difficult as I thought.

Sorry for crummy photos, my hallway’s a bit dark.

sorceressassassin  asked:

You asked for a Voltron prompt! Keith taking care of shiro when he's sick? (can be sheith or just platonic) Thanks!

The pods can only heal physical injuries and some of the more extreme sicknesses commonly found in the universe. Keith finds that out after a frustratingly vague conversation with Coran that had involved something that sounded suspiciously like chicken pox except weirder. Keith may or may not have nightmares later in the night about weeping sacks of green growths trying to eat him alive because of that conversation.

Later though, for now he’s balancing a bowl of goo –frighteningly vivid in color, but more watery and still steaming from whatever Hunk did to it– and trying not to spill any of it when the door to Shiro’s quarters opens on the man clumsily trying to dress himself. Again.

“Shiro!” Keith carefully sets the bowl down before going over to the bed and pulling Shiro’s hands away from his boots. It doesn’t take much work to pull them off this time. The fastenings of it too complicated for Shiro’s muddled mind to make sense of. “I told you to sleep!”

“Rest,” Shiro corrects him, his voice low with tiredness and he blinks way too much when focusing on Keith. His face is still red, and Keith doesn’t need to touch him to know he’s still burning with fever. “You said to rest, not sleep.”

Anger licks out through Keith’s veins. Resting is not the same as sleeping, not for Shiro these days at least, and Keith is all too aware of that. He hates the Galra more and more with each passing night he makes up some excuse to go to the training deck at night. To find Shiro already in the midst of a training program and taking one minute too long to recognize Keith’s presence beside him.

“Rest then,” Keith tosses the boots aside and pushes on Shiro’s chest lightly to get him to move back further onto the bed. The skin under his fingers it worryingly hot and Keith worries about the hot liquid for a moment. Hunk knows his way around food though, and Keith will have to trust the other man’s knowledge in this. “I’m here now, I’ll keep watch.”

Shiro relaxes visibly in a way that he’d never allow himself to if he were in his right state of mind. Too selfless to let on how much his captivity has changed him to the rest of them. He’ll go out of his way to act like nothing is wrong, even when only Keith is around to see him falter. It’s one of the things he understands best about Shiro even as it annoys the hell out of Keith.

“You should be sleeping,” Shiro stares almost listlessly at the bowl Keith holds out to him. Zero inclination to take the food even as he settles slowly back down on the bed. Faint bits of lucidity surface in the eyes that lock onto Keith even as he struggles to form words. “I don’t want to- You shouldn’t-”

“Shut up,” Keith snaps out without any real anger. He settles down on the edge of the bed and stirs the bowl’s contents. It doesn’t smell all that good but Shiro doesn’t flinch or gag when he spoons the first bit to him. Careful not to spill any of it on him, or give him too much. “Just rest, I’m here now.”

Shiro obeys, though it’s probably just his illness making him so pliable and not insisting Keith stop worrying about him.

“I’m here now,” Keith mutters more for his own sake than Shiro’s as he feeds him as much of the bowl as he can take before Shiro slips into an uneasy and feverish sleep. He keeps his word though, through the sleep cycle, and is there every time Shiro wakes up from fevered nightmares with the one phrase that seems to work better than any healing pod. “Rest, I’m here now.”

Wednesday thought venting

It’s been frustratingly too hot to draw these last few days. Sweat and paper don’t get along, I nearly ruined a rather advanced work-in-progress the other day.

My brother gets more chatty and confident talking to me when I’ve not been at the house so much. He seems happier around me when I do reappear. The look on his face when we were watching a quiz show and two of the participants were Britain’s tallest couple or something, that was priceless. He loves records, as in world records, stuff like that. He collects Guinness Books of World Records for years, used to carry the latest ones around with him at family get togethers and such.

I feel I need to listen to more music. I get so caught up in my life sometimes, listen to the same old stuff that I forget to branch out. I haven’t listened to Huey Morgan’s show for a while. He knows my ears. What an odd thing to say…

I’ve been thinking about some of the things my taxi driver friend said the other night. I got the feeling he could sense I was in a conundrum about what to spend the little money I’ll be getting on in the near future: a car or towards renting a place in the city. He talked a lot about what the Qur'an says, which rather exposed a difference in cultural priorities. Not that I’m bashing what he/The Book said, he spoke very fervently about the importance of not taking our parents for granted. Now that’s a very valid principle to have, however with regard to my circumstance he shaped it towards me staying with my Dad, not only to save on money but to look after him as he has done with me my whole life. Like I said, that’s an admirable priority however it’s not entirely appropriate to me. I love my Dad, both my parents to death however in my mind what would make them happiest is to see me be at my happiest, spreading my wings and living my own life in the manner I see as most dignified.
The conversation made me realise that I’m becoming more and more aware of other cultures the longer I spend in the city and with that awareness you begin to see cultural/societal clashes. How different cultures prioritise different ways of looking at the household and the roles within family. I think this was one example of such a clash. Not that we ‘clashed’ in any kind of aggressive way, I listened and I respected his views enough to realise the level of their relevance to me.

Come to think of it, too many people in my life are trying to enforce their opinions on me and try to get me to do things their way or the way they think is right as opposed to how I want to do things and it’s beginning to really irritate me when I can’t exactly rush things in any given direction. It is not doing my confidence any good nor alleviating my feelings of confinement in my current situation. I’m never one to do things the easy way, I get things done though. My way. This is my life damnit.

[ f2f || kittxim ]
  • MAXIM:[felt weird having to pack up everything in this apartment just to move /back/ to the house that everyone now had abandoned. but it was going to be /their/ home and that honestly made him so happy to hear. As he frustratingly sat on the floor trying to figure out how to close the box, Max made a frustrated noise.] Can't we pay someone to move everything?!