What is the date today cleatus? Why are the stars green murry? How many toes do I have Lola? Why does my head hurts jonathans? Where do the apples grow? What happens to dead rodents? What does savvy really mean?
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Sometimes I wish I knew what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. I wish there was something I was passionate enough about that it gave me some sort of driving force to get through all of this. I wish there was something in the world that called me. To be a pilot, a politician or a doctor. Something, god anything at all.
But then I think ‘how simple, how boring’. I may not know exactly what I wish to become, I don’t think I ever will. But I know I want to do a thousand different things and be another thousand different people.
And it is life that will call me. I will be passionate to live. To experience the complexities of this world and those who dwell in it. The possibility in my future and the wonders I will find there are what call me to live.
I met a stranger from spain today and the first words she spoke to me were about how beautiful she thought my eyes were. I find it so bizarre and puzzling and yet so beautiful and humbling how I was given this small opportunity to talk to someone, one single person from almost half-way around the world, doing something I hope to see myself doing in a few years. One single person who I will most likely only ever know for no more than the brief 20 minutes car trip we shared.
I got a kitten today and holy fuck nuts he is so beautiful I want to cry and cry and cry. He is so fluffy and just adorable and follows me around and nibbles my fingers/toes. Plus he has the most beautiful blue eyes. Although I cannot pick a name for him and it is so hard. (Romeo/Felix/Finn/Tybalt/Christopherson/whatwhyarenamessohardhelp)