fruit skittles

L, currently crushing skittles with a mallet: i have to replace my fruit with skittles, and while i’m as gay as anyone else in this kitchen–

(light freeze mid-pancake-flip, leaving the cake to fall to the flame)

light: You’re gay?

L: aren’t you?

(light is frozen, gaze locked on L even as his pancake catches fire. the camera zooms in on the stupefied look on his face. cut to confessionals, where light is still as perplexed and nervous as when he was almost on fire)

light: Am I? Am I gay? I mean, I can’t be gay? I’ve dated so many women, women love me, I’m not gay. I’m straight, L doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about.

L: you know when guys shove their thumb in the hem of their pants and pull down when they flirt with other guys. it’s funny watching light do that in a chef’s coat.

Consider: Jason hides food. It’s a holdover habit from when he was little, and it really threw Bruce for a loop when Jason first showed up because 

  • Jason always has food on his person
  • He’s perfectly willing to share. Every time Bruce says he’s hungry, Jason starts pulling fruit snack packages out of his shoes and ???? They are at a gala?? Food is provided??
  • Why are there slim jims taped to the supply closet walls
  • Didn’t Alfred just buy potato chips
  • The potato chips are in the laundry hamper
  • Okay
  • Alfred and Bruce find food hidden around the manor for years after Jason died, and it’s not fun for anyone involved

But! Jason’s back now, and the chaos continues because he’s still doing it, he still hides food

  • Anywhere he frequents, including places that don’t belong to him
  • Jason: [pulls an entire bag of kitkats from underneath a chair]
  • Tim, owner of the chair and surrounding property: what
  • Because Jason still remembers where he hid snacks in his youth, he has the magically ability to pull five-year-old packages of crackers out of the manor floors
  • Sometimes his siblings actively search for stashes– they know they exist– but they rarely find anything on purpose. More frequently, hidden food turns up by accident 
  • “I’m going to assume the package of jerky in the piano is yours, Todd”
  • One day shortly after Tim became Robin, he made the mistake of unwittingly eating a package of cashews he found in a living room vase. In front of Bruce. Didn’t end well. 
  • Jason still carries a variety of snackfood on his person, most commonly granola bars, fruit snacks, and skittles. He’s still willing to share.
since people are confused again…

Scott + Stiles = Scottles or Sciles, via the normal formations of fandom portmanteau ship names.


Sc ittles = Scittles. which is just one cute little letter off frommm…

bonus round: if you add in Derek, you get “Sour Skittles” (see get it, because he’s a sour wolf and the two of them over there are Skittles and “Sour Skittles” is a legit real world Skittles product ergo…)

if you add in Danny, you apparently get Tropical Skittles but this hasn’t really caught on yet and I can’t tell if it’s because the name itself isn’t as popular yet or because Danny/Scott/Stiles isn’t as popular an OT3. but.

throw the Nogitsune into things because well hey why not, and it now becomes Darkside Skittles (get it? because the Nogitsune makes the ship inherently pretty grimdark and fucked up and consent issues-y?)

as yet and as far as I know, Wild Berry Skittles, Dessert Skittles, Tart N Tangy Skittles, Ice Cream Treats Skittles, Smoothie Mix Skittles, Carnival Skittles, Mint Skittles, Licorice Skittles, Chocolate Mix Skittles, Citrus Skittles, Skittles Sensations, Fizzled Fruits Skittles, and Skittles Blenders are not claimed by any OTpolys that involve Scott and Stiles yet.

(but might I suggest Allison/Lydia/Scott/Stiles or Allison/Kira/Scott/Stiles for “Tart N Tangy” Skittles? it seems fitting.) (also no, I’m not even remotely kidding about how all of these are legit real flavors of Skittles.)