fruit gusher

me meeting up with my friend ive known long enough for him to be comfortable with a bit of well-natured ribbing and who also ate a fruit gusher when he was a boy, transforming his head and skull into a freakishly grotesque facsimile of a human face spliced with a disgustingly large strawberry: what’s up you high-fructose piece of fucking shit

The signs as 00s commercials
  • Aries: Fruit gushers
  • Taurus: Floam
  • Gemini: Pixel chix
  • Cancer: Chia pets
  • Leo: 877 Cash Now
  • Virgo: ZooPals
  • Libra: Puffs plus lotion
  • Scorpio: Pillow pets
  • Sagittarius: Oxi clean
  • Capricorn: Education Connection
  • Aquarius: Tootsie pops
  • Pisces: Magic sand
Domestic Headcanon’s, 2p!Germany!:
  • He doesn’t truly believe in ‘dressing up’, for himself or his significant other, he thinks you should wear what you’re most comfortable in.
  • With working out and sore muscles, he’ll often take bathes with salts, for relaxation. As a result he sometimes has the vague scent of said salts.
  • He owns more than one pair of kitten-themed boxers.
  • He has a strange talent for carnival games, especially the strength testers, and darts. 
  • Also had quite the love for american fruit snacks, Gushers, Fruit Roll-Ups, etc
  • Prefers older video games and systems, meaning, he still has a Play Station, somewhere in his closet.
  • If he wants to upgrade something of his he will literally just break the one he currently has. 
  • When singing in English his voice is rough and almost unintelligible, but when singing in German it’s deep and relaxing. 
  • He does not cook in very often, preferring to eat fast food or anything simple and with little wait time. 
  • Quite a reckless driver! He adores the thrill of speed and has been in more than one chase involving officers. 
  • Doesn’t hesitate or question consequences before he does things, he’s very impulsive. 
  • He enjoys sleeping late into the afternoon, but not necessarily being up all night. he jut really likes sleeping. 
  • Will likely drag his s/o to car shows, where he acts like a small child at a toy store. 
  • A fan of older war-time weaponry. 
  • He has a hard time tossing things that he deems as having ‘sentimental value’, due to this he likely has a storage unit…or 2.
  • He has a very close relationship with his bother, Gilen. (2p!Prussia) who often times is a voice of reason to the before mentioned impulsive actions. 

(Made with tons of help from @hetalia-said-i-could)

I like to munch on sugar-free jelly beans as I write. They took the place of my pipe. So, my lovely wife comes back from Costco with this gigantic box of these fruit gushers things and tells me they will have to do until Costco gets some more jelly beans in stock. I thought to myself: “I am never going to eat all of those”.  Fast forward five hours and I have eaten about fifteen packets of those things. Pure sugar. What the hell am I doing to my body?

Adlock Headcanon

Irene is obsessed with gushers. She loves them and one day she was eating them and made a sarcastic comment to Sherlock that she would trade him for a lifetime supply of gushers… Sherlock did not take kindly to this and he banned her from eating gushers and made sure any packets he finds are thrown out the window. Of course she doesn’t listen and Greg is her gusher dealer, he sneaks her packets without Sherlock finding out in exchange for kisses and or hugs because Greg is such a smol. But sometimes she likes to tease him by sending him pictures of her eating gushers… He doesn’t like this and when he finds out where she is then he starts arguing with her. “I TOLD YOU THAT THOSE DAMN SNACKS ARE NOT ALLOWED” and she just laughs at him. 

But basically Sherlock being jealous of fruit gushers is my fucking aesthetic XD If you really think about it it gets better.

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okay but does anyone else remember how whacked-up the 90′s fruit gushers commercials were or