eruri week day 1 - post ACWNR

“It was the Titans. I know. Save it,” Levi’s anger softens and melts into despair as they ride back, sun sinking shamefacedly below the mountains. “It was the Titans, and you and I aren’t to blame. I get it.”

“I wasn’t going to say that,” Erwin brings his horse closer, dust stirring aggressively under their feet. “I was going to ask something. Why are you following me?“

“Why do you care?” Levi wipes the froth off his horses’ neck. “I won’t betray you or nothing. Don’t fret your ass about that.”

“But why?” Erwin crimps his mouth, frowns as his hair is whipped back by the dirty, hot wind. “Have you suddenly converted to the cause? Are my words so powerful?”

The cause? Levi cannot give less of a shit. The Titans, yes, he hates them and he will kill every one his eyes set upon but the cause? Humanity? When had he cared about anybody’s skin except his own when the consequences of caring were staining the battlefield behind him red with old blood and discarded heads. What damn cause did he care for? Why did he follow this man and his white horse and his serious eyes?

“I don’t know, damn it,” Levi grinds out his words like gravel. “Stop asking me.”


He’d gone to Sina for Levi’s arrest warrant to be revoked, threatened lives and lied, searched back woods and government facilities and storage ships. He’d saved Levi’s world a hundred times over. With every time he kneels to a noble and greases a palm he thinks of Levi’s unrelenting fury, his calculated precision in cutting out any threat.

“What were you doing down in Sina?” Levi asks. “You took so long, the trainees’ arses are itching.”

“My family lives in Sina.” Erwin tells the truth in order to not let Levi hear the barer truth. “My mother and sisters.”

It comes again, to Levi. The longing to be a follower.

“I’m tired,” he hums. Looks at the sweat on Erwin’s temples.

“Of? Of the Corps?”

“No.” Levi slumps down straight onto the floor, ugly and crumpled. “Of leading. Of being a leader. I’d led Farlan and Isabel. Captain Smith -”

“You’ll lead,” Erwin says too sincerely and he smiles sideways, looking at Levi with such raw affection that his chest tightens. “You’ll lead teams and squadrons. You’ll do it ever so well.” 

“Ah,” Levi says after a moment, composing himself and pressing hand upwards to the kneeling Erwin’s shoulder that offsets his cool tone. “we’ll see.”



Then, in the threshold of the bathroom with the knife lying still on the tile behind them, he’d held Levi’s arms by his sides, fought the urge to shake him. He’d wanted to ask that laundry list of questions used in school. Who, what, where, when, why. Erwin wanted to ask how Levi would have calmly watched his own face in the mirror as he prepared to take his own life, the same one he’d saved a hundred times over. He wanted to ask why, why, why would he do this to him (and the Corps!) to himself, to them?

“Please,” Levi said, before Erwin could get anything out. His eyes were pale and focused on his face. “let’s discuss this later.”

“Your friends are dead. And you wanted to join them, did you not?“

He watched Levi pick up the knife and lock it back in it’s sheathe. He watched Levi like he was a subtle, lethal thing.


Levi looks up at him, searching, untethered by the way Erwin kept his hands in the open space between them.

“I had to try, Erwin,” he whispers. “I owe them at least that.”

“No. Why?” Erwin grits his teeth and clenches his eyes shut. “Tell me why, that day -”


“You are never a cryptic man, Levi, tell me why.”

He remembers again, obliquely and out of context, kneeling below Levi on the bloody ground.

“I must know. Levi, I must know.” Erwin’s eyes are darting, flinty in the half-light. If he squints he could pretend he doesn’t know Levi. He is a murky figure, breathing shallowly.

“Because of you,” Levi starts, his mind catching like a dirty record. “Damn. because I wanted to follow you. You were all I saw, the damn sun rising behind you, like… like you took me out of something I had buried myself within. And my friends were dead and I was done for and all I could think of was that I had sliced your palm. So I followed you. It’s like if I drank poison, then coughed it back up - sickly sweet with a forever aftertaste. I taste your words every day. Because I tried to kill you, I tried to shit on your dreams and I didn’t give a fuck about your Corps and all you did was comfort me on that damn battlefield and you brought me home. I follow your damn corps only for you, you - and I forgot that today. You could have left me for dead a hundred times but you saved me. I should be dead, but you fucking…”

“Then follow me, Levi -” Erwin urges. The hottest flames are blue.

“For life,” Levi whispers.

“Remember that,” Erwin says. Levi grips his hand like an iron lifeline.  

anonymous asked:

next chapter of Jojolion: a new stand appears out of the wall behind Damo while he's interrogating Norisuke. it grabs onto his neck, and a crack his heard. Damo can no longer breath, and his spittle is beginning to froth. Throwing him aside, it faces Norisuke, Josuke, and Hato. "DADDY, I'M SQUISHY" it rumbles.

aguamieles asked:

pardo deserves no apologies

YOU WON’T NEED A LICK PROTEIN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, SILKY SWEET HAZELNUT, CANDY SLUT 👅💦 BUT WAIT, THERES MORE! (Don’t actually send hate to this person.) 🙌 Happy Valentines Day, babe ’,;^)

I am jealous of those who think more deeply, who write better, who draw better, who ski better, who look better, who live better, who love better than I do. I am sitting at my desk looking out at a bright antiseptic February day, with an icy wind whipping the sky into a white-and-blue froth. I can see the neighbor’s House, and the hairy black trees; I can see a girl bicycling along the gray road. I can see the sunlight slanting diagonally across the desk. I think I am worthwhile just because I have optical nerves and can try to put down what they perceive. What an idiot.


They’re not performers.  They’re not butlers.  They’re not even the same kind of nominally free, metaphorical slaves as the rest of their society.

Pearls are actual slaves,  manufactured for and owned by other Gems.

“Standing around”, “looking nice”, and “holding your things”.

Now, my initial reaction, as you saw a few minutes ago, was frothing murderous rage.  I know this site, and there’s not much I can say about how much I despise the very concept of owning another person that Tumblr won’t mock me for saying because I’m white, so I won’t go into the philosophical motivations I have above and beyond, y’know, the basic reaction any decent person should have.

So, instead, let’s talk about these characters.

Peridot pinballs between basic dismissal of Pearl’s agency and value as a person and backhanded compliments about how “fancy” she is that degrade her even further.  She’s clearly genuinely confused as to why this Pearl is attempting to assert herself–and I guarantee you Pearls back home don’t, or, at least, don’t more than once.  Now we know why Jasper thought our Pearl was defective, and now everything about her finally makes sense.

This is the final piece of the puzzle to who Pearl is as a person.

Every time she strives to prove herself.  Every time she shouts down the world for daring to imply she hasn’t utterly conquered her fate.  Her stubborn refusal to leave her own form.  Her…wow, I’ve called it slavish devotion in the past.  That’s going to sting for a while.  Still, her devotion to Rose–signs of someone who latched on to a positive role model before she’d really developed her own standards for how much she, herself, was worth.  In her case, all of this comes, at least in the beginning, from being an ex-slave, from being someone her society deemed without value except as a pretty bauble.  Everybody reacts differently to the things in their life that push them onwards, but in Pearl this dismissal of her worth as a person lit a fire in her heart, drove her to master the arts and sciences, to prove that she was a master of her own fate and nobody, nobody could stop her from achieving that.

And, yes, I think the way she treats Rose–and the way she treats herself in relation to Rose–stems from that as well.  Pearl to this day has serious self-worth issues, much like Amethyst, and when she found someone–namely, Rose–who was actually worth her devotion, she fell back on the only way she’d ever been taught to respect another living being: utter subsumation of the self to their needs and desires.

I’ve talked before about how Rose being gone is the healthiest thing that can happen for Pearl, and how that’s probably not even Rose’s fault but is still true.  Her absence means Pearl can heal, can finally devote herself to herself in ways she never could while Rose was alive.


On to this little goblin.

Your society indoctrinating you is no excuse for the vile views you hold.  Pearls-as-slaves is absolutely a part of Gem culture, absolutely something Peridot was raised up in, absolutely something that was pounded into her head, but her tacit acceptance of that as fact is in no way making me like this character as a person.  (As a character, she’s fantastic, and we’ll see where she goes.)


This is an opportunity.

Peridot is an arrogant bigot, but she just started thinking and deciding things for herself like two days ago.  It’s quite possible she’s simply never questioned the assumption of Pearls’ place being what it is, and I’m going to put this out there: I’m not going to finalize judgment of her as a person until she does.

Just like with Lapis, she comes from a society that is utterly terrifying, where asserting yourself or questioning authority are good ways to die messily.  While I absolutely do not agree with Peridot’s views–need I remind you of the phrase frothing murderous rage–I do believe she should have the opportunity to question them and arrive at a better conclusion.

Which, let’s be real, is probably going to happen.

Once, when I was old enough to remember, my dad brought me to a white well. From the distance it looked like a squatting pearl. It was big around as my waist, thistle weed frothing around it like lips. “This is where bad daughters go to drown,” he said, and prismed my waist with his hands. He lifted me onto his shoulder, tipped me forward. The hole blackened, a pupil swimming in the eye.

Casualties” by Kristin Chang

I wrote prose!!!!!!!!!!!! pls read <3 <3 <3

who are these fucking rumplechumps who see attempts at representation in kids media and start frothing at the mouth that society has become wild and absurd. how do these fucks have the time and effort to write unformatted facebook essays but they can’t take a sec to google “why is representation a good thing”. christ almighty

feel the rush

sea gull wings beat the air
fanning whispers
across heated skin
and I feel the rush
of freedom to fly

swirling ocean waves
a frothing energy
surges, a rip current
pull at my knees
and I feel the rush
of power pulling me in

your hand clasps mine
beach walk bliss
a moment feeling
the eternity of sea and sky
and I feel the rush
of fingers entwined with love