Christmas AU Prompts
  • i’m really tall but i work as one of santa’s elves in the mall and a kid asked me if i was a giraffe and you heard and now you’re cracking up au
  • i love rollerblading so i figured that i’d try ice skating and its really easy but you suck at it and ended up crashing into me and i got a concussion au
  • we’re two grown people fighting over the last box of cherry flavored candy canes in cvs au
  • every year the library sells trees to raise money and i work at the library and you just asked me out but i won’t say yes unless you buy a tree au
  • christmas caroling is so stupid and annoying and oh you’re a caroler whoops au
  • i’m working at sears on black friday and this asshole is being a lil bitch and you just scared them off just so that you could ask me out au
  • i hate christmas but hold up who is this delicious mofo playing santa in the community play whats good hot stuff au
  • the roads are covered in ice and i decided to try to sled down the hill but i ended up crashing into your neighbors snowman and you recorded the whole thing and now i’m youtube famous thanks a lot dick au
  • i’m at this lame ass party and i’m drunk off my ass and i accidentally told my boss how much i hate them and you heard me and decided to have some fun with the fact that i can’t lie when i’m drunk au
Not So Cute Meet-Cutes

or, “I lie, these are still pretty cute” AUs

  • “Look person, I’m sorry I ran you over with my car but maybe you should stay in the bike lane DON’T EVEN THINK OF TAKING ME TO COURT I DON’T CARE IF YOU’R E A LAWYER… shit” AU
  • “Oh my god ohmyogd ohmy god i did not mean to punch you in the nose. there’s blood… everywhere…i think… i’m going to faint” AU
  • “ugh i hate drunk people. CONTROL YOURSELVES. what are you doing? no. NO. NO GET AWAY FROM ME! DON’T THROW UP ON MY NEW SHOES!!” AU
  • “i’m a new waiter and i am so nervous please forgive me for spilling your wine, your dinner, and your dessert on your date and then tripped onto said date as you were trying to propose. seriously. my bad.” AU
  • “we’re the only people in this section of the library and I really really needed to fart. I’M SO SORRY. PLEASE LET US FORGET ABOUT THIS. I HAD A BURRITO FOR LUNCH OKAY?!” AU
  • “i accidentally got us banned from this amusement park for life because i got mad at the mascot and decided to tackle him to the ground and you were the stranger i asked to hold my stuff” AU
  • “i tried to act cool at this concert and i thought i was leaning on a wall but apparently it was a speaker and now it’s on the ground. broken. in pieces. and everyone’s glaring at me (particularly the really hot guitarist). um…i can pay for that?” AU
  • “look it wasn’t arson alright. if i’m going to jail i want this in the public record. i set that abandoned shed on fire because it has ghosts. GHOSTS. and everyone knows the only way to kill ghosts is with fire. no officer, i’m not crazy.” AU
  • “my friend bet me that i wouldn’t make out with the next person that stepped through that door. now i seriously regret it because you are soooo much cuter than your friend. is it weird for me to flirt with you when i just had my tongue down their throat?” AU
  • “we’re both in a hostage situation and i know now isn’t the time, but what product do you use in your hair, because wow, it looks super soft. RIGHT. SORRY. NO TALKING. DON’T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT MR. HOSTAGE CRIMINAL GUY. AHAHAHAHA. *whispering* if we survive please let me know. i need to know. thanks.” AU. 
  • Friend:You have serious problems
  • Me:Watchu mean?
  • Friend:You have been on your device for 48 straight hours without any sleep
  • Me:I'm reading really good fanfiction...
  • Friend:You need an intervention, give me that device
  • Me:You want this device, you hAVE TO PRY IT FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS
Tol and Smol things

the tol randomly lifting the smol and putting them down somewhere else like people do with babies and the smol being so confused like “why??????”

the smol being the perfect height for surprise tickle attacks because no one looks down so no one sees them coming

the tol using the smol as an armrest and the smol acts annoyed but secretly loves it

the smol just burrowing into the tol’s shoulder/chest when they hug and the tol resting their chin on the top of the smol’s head

the smol hiding behind the tol and literally no one can see them because they’re so smol or because the tol is so tol

the smol being a tiny little ball of energy and rage and constantly jumping around and threatening to fight people 

the tol being the one who has to calm down the smol and apologize when the smol says “fite me” to that five year old who took the last box of lucky charms in the store 

the tol giving the smol piggyback rides

the smol running full speed at the tol and barrelling into them but only succeeding in bouncing off because they’re so smol

the smol being the big spoon and the tol being the little spoon sometimes

the tol puts all the things on the top shelf so that the smol has to jump to reach them

the smol retaliating by putting all the things on the bottom shelf so the tol has to bend over or kneel on the floor to reach them

the smol having a huge ass dog like a saint bernard or a wolfhound or something big enough to ride

the tol having a fucking chihuahua