shit the signs prob do/say

*from my experience*

Aries: bad bad texters, make everything obvious, *randomly curses at u* (not a surprise if u find them talking to themselves), crazy drivers vroom vroom, *screams but cools down after 3 min*, laughs manically when angry, looks focused about everything,  jokes about things that’ll make you widen your eyes (rly personal shit)

Taurus: asks when and where they’ll be able to eat, make literally 0 sense sometimes, lazy bean always saying they’re tired, virgo #2, will fight u, takes their fights seriously, MI X ED SIGNALS!!?!!?!?

Gemini: “idk I like them but I don’t, you get me?”, hates it when u repeat music but they do the same shit, acts smart but can’t backup their arguments, rly loud laughers, *screenshots everything*, repeats their jokes until someone laughs at it

Cancer: adds everything w daddy, “im not emotional wtf”, likes to be derpy, either babies u or likes being babied, becomes victim if u dont return affection, has atleast accidentally called their teacher mom/dad once, “send that to me!”

Leo: actually leaves yelp reviews, s/o > frnds/u, dramatically cries when hungry, “lets take an uber”, turn to preachers at random times, #triggered, goes to places just for the pictures

Virgo: judged u atleast once, involves themselves in drama & accidentally becomes a victim, not scared of u, independent woman who dont need no man (unless u got some leo in u), my opinion > urs

Libra: literally wild af, talks really loud, says shit without even thinking twice omg??, wings everything, air head #2, s a ssy, “idc if they don’t like me……but why tho”, leo #2, have dank memes to back up their argument, most likely to send u a nude/ or have u call them daddy/mami, suggest i v e

Scorpio: text them at 4 am and they’ll reply, actually really hate spooky shit, could pull off as Geminis if they weren’t so mysterious, also looks rly hot, thinks about every bad scenario, the worriers, staring at you either means they hate u or they like u pick one

Sagittarius: *freedomly flirts*, so harsh like ouch?, the type to ask u to dinner and say they forgot their wallet, says no but does it anyways,  *shows u a song then reminds u they showed u it everytime u listen to it*, mimics everything, most likely to wear something that’ll grab someone’s attention

Capricorn: *looks rlly powerful but likes a dominant person*, lets you copy their hw #realOG, looks rly confused, depended on 167% of the time, looks rly hot, looks so serious but is really singing in their heads, ride or die

Aquarius: air head #1, say the weirdest shit sometimes omg?, leo #3, won’t apologize for none, probably already found out the secret to life, doesn’t hide anything, “im n o t we a  k”, makes a joke bout everything

Pisces: more sensitive than cancer like wyd astrology, says “what” after you just explained yourself, “dude what if like…”, oblivious , person: look at that cute person pisces: where?! *looks everywhere but the cute person*, no one knows what they’re thinking


My part of an art trade with @bippwirter who wanted beast wirt & bipper, sorry it took so long

“Most patients undergoing phalloplasty won’t have nearly that many [complications] to worry about, though it should be mentioned, there’s no way to tell ahead of time if you will or won’t have trouble with complications,” Gerbil says. “In my case, I had several severe strictures – to put it bluntly, my new dick’s urethra kept ‘healing’ itself shut.”

Well, that sounds like a curse from a Stephen King novel. How bad was it, really?

The road to peeing freely included “two attempts … to cut out the sealed-shut parts and tie the ends together,” then sliding a camera up his dong (pause for wincing), and eventually “two separate stages of a urethroplasty, where skin was taken from the inside of my mouth and rolled into an entirely new urethra.”

Yep, there are parts of his mouth in his dong.

The Perilous Journey Of Turning My Hoo Hah Into A Dingaling

“I noticed the same thing.” said Terry Arsehole, thick-necked reactionary rent-a-gob, when Pointless Letters reached out for comment. “And, like Des, I wouldn’t like to express any sort of opinion on the matter. It’s just interesting in a detached, cerebral kind of way how you can make different words out of the name of that neurotic screeching Scottish loser bastard.” 

anonymous asked:

Is there a way to, like, know if someone has cursed you? Like, how do you differentiate between "oh I'm just having a bad week" from "oh shit I got cursed"?

you could try divining it, ask some runes or tarot. or shufflemancy

or just try burning black salt –standard curse remover

Holes Summary:

“But if you forget to come back for Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.” Those were the exact words spoken to young Elya Yelnats the day he forgot to repay Madame Zeroni. From then on his family was cursed with bad luck. One hundred years later Stanley Yelnats IV is accused of stealing a pair of cleats from a major league baseball player and sent to Camp Green Lake (a dry lake bed in the middle of the desert). It never rains at Camp Green Lake, it hasn’t for one hundred years. The secretive and mysterious Warden has each inmate spend every day digging one hole to “build character.” But when an artifact from the famous “Kissin’ Kate” Barlow is found in a hole, the Warden forces the boys to work double time leading Stanley to deduce they’re digging because the Warden is looking for something. But what? And how is the mystery of Camp Green Lake connected to Stanley’s family curse?

Calling all witches!

Okay, I really really need help.
I think I’m cursed or suffering from some kind of bad, horrible, terrible karma from another life.
All my life I’ve had the Worst luck.
I’ve had terrible things happen to me and honestly they just don’t stop.
I’m still really new to the craft but I don’t think there’s a simple fix here.
I need your strongest potions! *please get the reference*
I’m just so tired of suffering. Please help me.

the signs as things from the cursed child
  • aries: harry weeping in his office
  • taurus: the widespread rumors that voldemort fucked draco's wife
  • gemini: the Prophecy™
  • cancer: voldemort day
  • leo: craig
  • virgo: all the other kids doing scorpius's homework
  • libra: rose kicking scorpius in the shin
  • scorpio: ron being married to padma patil
  • sagittarius: voldemort actually fucking bellatrix lestrange
  • capricorn: "i don't have a niece"
  • aquarius: cedric flying out of the maze naked on a broom of purple feathers
  • pisces: cedric being so humiliated about losing that he murders neville

Just got home from work and saw the bad news! 😭😰

I wanted to curse those f*cking idiot fans who chased my dear’s car. Seriously?! They were just thinking about themselves! They were so selfish. Yes, it was an accident. But if they didn’t followed him, our dear Jackson maybe is really fine and having a good time or rest after he arrived in Japan. But instead, again, because of those f*cking stupid fans, he’s hurt and rushed to hospital. 👿👿👿👿

Fans should think about their idol’s condition since they know that he haven’t had enough rest and sleep. Or maybe they don’t know because they are fucking stupid and selfish. This maybe a really late rant, but can you blame me?

Those kind of fans should not get near to Jackson or to any one in Got7. That is better rather than suddenly knowing they got hurt just because of others selfishness and careless actions.

Really wish and hoping he’s good and well now. Fighting Dear Jackson! I believe in you. Take a good rest. Don’t push yourself and limits. 💪👊💋💗


Credits on watermark…