from homemade scratch


Grilled Chicken Panini with Homemade Chipotle Mayo 

This was a lot of work for a sandwich, but worth every single minute. I promise. 

Ingredients & Directions for Chipotle Mayo 

I used the same ingredients and directions as the mayo in this previous recipe except I swapped whole garlic for granulated garlic (2 tsp) and mustard powder for 2 tsp of Dijon mustard. After the mayo was complete, I added 3 chopped chipotle peppers plus 1 ½ tbsp of adobo to the mayo and whipped. You can blend the chipotles into the mayo, but I love the bits of pepper running throughout. Store in a mason jar or airtight container. 

Ingredients & Directions for Caramelized Onions 

I used the same ingredients (+ 1 tbsp sugar) and directions as the onions in this previous recipe. I added a bit more salt and cooked these in a mixture of canola oil and butter. 

Ingredients & Directions for Chicken 

I seasoned the front and back of thinly pounded chicken cutlets with the seasonings pictured above. Seasoning blend contains a total of (2 tsp smoked paprika, 1 tsp kosher salt, 1 tsp kosher pepper, 1 tsp lemon granules, and 2 tsp granulated garlic). I grilled each piece of chicken for about 2 minutes per side or until I could tell it was done (this is done by years of practice – I just know when my chicken is done). 


I assembled two paninis on Sourdough bread – each with one entire chicken cutlet, spinach, cheese (one has Gouda and one slice of jalapeño Jack cheese, the other has extra sharp cheddar and one slice of jalapeño Jack), avocado, chipotle mayo, caramelized onions, and tomatoes. Grilled/panini pressed until golden brown on each side.

Serve while hot. 


Do not criticise my lasagna!

Three years ago I made my wife a lasagna. Sauce from scratch, homemade spinach pasta, expensive cheese, the works. Hours invested - and the return? “You should put more cheese on it like at the Macaroni Grill.”

I went out that night and bought six interior left hand doors. All of our interior doors were right handed. I cut plugs to fill the strike-plate & hinge mortises, and every few weeks I change out a door or two, right hands for left, left for right. It only takes about twenty minutes now: pull the door, plug the mortises, spackle the plug seam, chisel the plug from the opposite side, hang the opposite door and sweep up. I painted the first few times, but it’s a white jamb and I decided the paint smell was more suspicious than the unpainted spackle. It’s a thin seam, and my wife wouldn’t even know where to look.

She’s never said anything about it, but I’ve seen her grasp the air where a doorknob used to be a hundred times. F*ck the macaroni grill.

Petty Revenge: Internet`s best petty revenge stories are here. | credit


Al fresco dining tonight with the world’s happiest dog in tow.

I made homemade queso from scratch (no fake cheese!) and we made some Aperol spritzes. It felt right for this 85+ degree weather today.

anonymous asked:

My mom’s a nerd-fan of your artwork & "humor-sense", she calls it. She O__Os her face all up in my computer screen just to see if you have any new drawings up, haha. So, to her favorite OC, dear purple hoge, please enjoy deliciously: *gives him Ma's homemade, made-from-scratch bowl of noodles & plate of dumplings!!* Thanks for making my mama smile :]!! On the serious- she marvels at your work; & says you have great talent for capturing hilarious & moving facial expressions extremely well :].



never in my wildest dreams would i ever imagine an anon, LET ALONE A REAL LIFE MOM, would lovE one of my OCS!!!! 111 PURPLE AHOGE ESPECIALLY AAAAAAAA

thank you anons mom ;;;____;;; youve really encouraged me to keep making others happy with my art and ill try my best to make more comics soon!!! and maybe even start writing the comic for my ocs!!! im so thankful for the both of you omg… ;;;___;;; i never thought someone would find my comics or humor remotely funny but im so haPPY 

heres a gift for your mom anon, ill make sure to post more pictures of purpleahoge too

Mind over Matter?

About 8 years ago, I was a thriving, full time student with a double major, a full time job, a partner, and a great social life. I slept about 5-6 hours a night, went jogging or swimming at the gym every morning before class, went to class, then went to work, had date night or met up with friends, and then came home and studied and went to bed. I spent my weekends working, studying, bowling, and everything else neurotypical people get to do. 

My chronic fatigue crept in, like when you take a shower and ever so slightly raise the temperature every few minutes, until the water is scalding hot and you don’t even notice. I got pneumonia, and I just couldn’t seem to shake it. Weeks later, I still felt like my energy was slowly dripping out of me like through a microscopic tear in an overfilled garbage bag. Over time, the pressure built, until one day I realized it was a gaping hole and energy was flooding out and spilling everywhere, much faster than I could refill it, and I could barely muster the energy to put on pants, much less go to class. 

I went from doctor to doctor. They ran so many tests I think House himself would call it excessive. Nothing. They chalked it off to stress and told me to “chill”. 

Over the past eight years, I have tried everything to regain the energy I lost, but it’s almost like when I patched up my body, there were just too many holes to plug, and no matter what I do, at some point I’m going to be like that dilapidated wooden boat in a storm, and the patches will burst and I’ll sink for good this time. 

When I say I tried everything, I mean I tried a hell of a lot of things. I travelled. I crossed a great many glorious things off my bucket list. I had adventures that would make a sailor pale and I’ve slain monsters and demons of all kinds. I have pushed my body to the extreme, seeking that high, seeking to regain the feeling I lost. Seeking that feeling of awakeness, wanting to feel like my entire body is truly alive, and not in a coma anymore. 

For 8 years, I have been trying to wake up. I have chronic fatigue syndrome, which is basically what doctors tell you you have when they can’t figure out what is wrong with you. Sometimes they chalk it off to PTSD, but since it pre-dates my PTSD, they just shrug their shoulders with that expression that says, “tja. What can you do? Life sucks for some people.” 

They say, “try diet and exercise”. I eat no processed food. Everything I eat is homemade from scratch, with farm fresh ingredients. I consume no soda, and no alcohol. For 1 year, I didn’t even drink coffee, or consume any kind of stimulant (i.e. energy drinks). I don’t smoke, and I exercise regularly. 

But that doesn’t make me awake. Nothing wakes my brain up. Sometimes, when I’m on my third can of Rockstar Energy Juice, and I can already smell colors and see sounds, I think I can feel it stirring, like it’s rolling over in bed and thinking about opening its eyes. 

But it never does. Finally, I had enough. I have tried diet and exercise. I am a physically healthy person by any doctor’s definition. I have immaculate bloodwork results. I have an immaculate nutrition schedule. I have a perfectly organized sleep schedule. There is no reason for me to be so tired, for me to be asleep inside. There is no earthly reason for me to fall asleep at 6 PM and wake up at 7 AM disoriented and confused because I fell into another sleep coma and still can’t get out of bed. 

So, I took matters into my own hands. I did every doctor’s worst nightmare. I googled. I googled a lot. I pulled up medical papers and human medicine books, and I came up with a medical solution. 

I made an appointment with my doctor and told her point blank I found a medication online that I think will stabilize my illness. It is not classified as a restricted medication, and its dependency risk index is labelled at “very low” (in short, it is less addictive than caffeine). She looked it up in her database, and found that even though its intended use is for a slightly different neurological condition that causes the exact same symptoms that I experience, medically speaking it should be able to treat my condition. 

She wrote me a prescription, under the condition that I go in for a neurological consult with a neurologist to confirm 1) the diagnosis and 2) cancel out any other potential conditions (that were already cancelled out 8 years ago but who knows maybe I have a tumor now). 

It has been a week since I’ve started taking this medication, and I can finally feel it, for the first time in 8 years. I am awake. I’m not bursting with energy, I’m not restless, jumpy, giddy, nor do I have strange heart palpitations or uncomfortable sensations on my skin. I’m just… awake. 

I go to bed at 10 pm and I wake up at 5:30 with no alarm. My eyes open, my body is well rested, and I am ready to get up and go about my day. When I read a page in a textbook, I absorb what I am reading and comprehend it without reading it 8 times. I do not feel my brain shut down in the process. In the afternoon, I am still awake. When I sit in the lecture hall, I hear what the professor is saying, and I am able to connect the dots and follow the red thread. 

Over the past week, my caffeine intake has dropped from 4 cups of coffee a day to half a cup, and the past two days I’ve only consumed it for the flavor and out of habit. 

It’s not a miracle pill. It doesn’t make me feel like I can take on the world. It doesn’t make me feel like I can ace my college education like a genius with an eidetic memory. I don’t wake up bursting with energy that I don’t know what to do with. I still have to force myself to be disciplined in my studies. I still have to motivate myself to sit down and summarize my notes. Somewhere down the line, I went from being predominantly neurotypical (I’ve always had aspergers but that has never affected my studies. Quite the opposite, actually) to someone who is mentally ill. 

But now my brain is awake, and ready to fight back. The medication has torn it from its coma, and it is saying, “enough. You want to do this, and so you shall.” 

See, mind over matter only works if your mind is awake enough to fight. Mind over matter only applies if your brain is healthy enough to pull that weight. Telling me it’s all in my mind is absolutely true, if, by that, you mean that my mind is physically sick and needs medical care just like every other part of my body. 

Now that my brain is getting the medication it needs, diet and exercise become more relevant and more important. My brain is finally awake and calling the shots like it used to, and my body is healthy enough to go along for the ride. 

If you don’t own a robe I suggest getting a robe they’re honestly the best invention especially if you hate getting dressed after you get out of the shower but you also like doing stuff like its kinda hard to be in a towel and make a bagel but if you’re in a robe the possibilities are endless you could even make homemade bagels from scratch if you’re in a robe try doing that in a regular towel nope not gonna happen



So I made Macarons for the first time on thursday and surprisingly it came out perfect on the first try!

Made everything from scratch, even the fillings. 

  • Salted Caramel Macarons with Salty Caramel filling
  • Matcha Green Tea Macarons with Matcha Green Tea Honey Buttercream filling

Honestly, macarons are really easy to make. A lot of the reviews online mentioned that it’s really difficult to make but I think if you whip up the egg whites well enough, the rest is a piece of cake. So if you have an electric mixer or beater then you’re set for a perfect batch! Unlike me, I actually had to whip up the egg whites and granulated sugar by hand and that took me like over an hour for each batch (sucks, I know). Other than that, it was a very simple recipe.

So simple that I decided to make another batch of the Salted Caramel Macarons today (gif of the process I went through to bake it above by me). Had to whip everything up by hand and again ;C But hey, it was worth it~

Homemade cherry, cocoa, & vanilla meringue kisses made Sunday for a little project I’m doing (inspired by Joy the Baker)! This is one of three recipes to be out in a couple of weeks.