FitzSimmons-things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear
Here’s an old one I did! Meant to make this one Fitz POV and have Jemma being the one saying the things he wasn’t meant to hear but then this happened.
FLUFF. IF YOU NEED FLUFF TO RESUSCITATE YOURSELF RIGHT NOW HERE’S SOME
Jemma wakes from her nap unusually groggy. She’s normally
quite good at timing her sleep, whether abbreviated or for a full night, so
that she can complete cycles and wake up refreshed. But she’s waken before her
alarm, disturbed by a twinge of heartburn from her mother’s massive
welcome-home lunch, and there’s nothing for it but to go downstairs and hunt
for some tablets.
This – the grogginess, not the acid reflux – is her excuse
for her behavior when, upon hearing Fitz and her father speaking in low tones
in the sitting room, she stops outside instead of making her presence known. It’s
noteworthy only because both Fitz and her father are not activetalkers. They
prefer to sit beside each other on sofas during cocktail parties and make witty
comments to each other without once engaging in small talk with other guests,
unless getting up for more ice for their drinks required conversation.
Personally she doesn’t mind: she knows Fitz will gush for hours when interested
enough, and she’s just glad he and her father found their own peculiar way to
But talking? Just the two of them in a room? It’s…
“One more time, son. You know I don’t keep up with you when
you talk that fast. You and Jemma both. You want something—“
“Something only I can give you?”
“Do you need a loan or something, Fitz? I’ll not deny it’s
unexpected, given how you and Jem seem to have your heads on straight with
“No, that’s not –“ Fitz huffs dramatically and even from
here, hiding behind the doorframe, Jemma can tell he’s nervous, working himself
up into a bluster that’ll only make it more difficult to communicate. “Bloody
hell, this is harder than I expected.”
“It can’t be as bad as all that, son. Just get it out there.”
“Okay. Just get it out there.” Fitz paces close to the spot
where Jemma is standing; through the crack in the door she sees him wringing
his hands. “Sir, Jemma and I have been dating for four years now—”
“Only four?” Mr. Simmons asks drily. “What do you call the ten
years you spent sharing her bedroom before that?”
“That wasn’t – we weren’t –” Fitz splutters, not as able as
Jemma to tell when her father is winding him up. “We didn’t, sir. Didn’t … didn’t.”
“Jemma and I have been dating for four years now. We’ve been
best friends for more than half of my life now. Before that we were lab
partners, before that acquaintances, before that— Right. Not important. What I’m
trying to say, sir, is, well, I don’t know when it happened, or why I feel like
now’s the time, but—“
Jemma claps a hand to her mouth because she’s just
understood what Fitz is asking and she very nearly revealed herself with a
squeak. She should really move, she really shouldn’t listen – but shouldn’t
she, when this is all about her, after all?
“Sir, I intend to ask Jemma to marry me and it’d be
wonderful – I’d really appreciate it – would you – gah,” Fitz groans, catching
himself after that nearly unintelligible rush of words. “Please put me out of
my misery and tell me you understand what I’m asking,” he pleads.
The arm chair by the window squeaks like it has for twenty
years as her father stands. An anxious breath Jemma’s been holding for a full
minute is threatening to explode from her chest – why is he crossing the room
so slowly?? Not that such antiquated rituals implying male ownership of women
hold any weight with her, but—
“Son,” Mr. Simmons chuckles, “I’ve known what you were
asking since you and Jemma arrived this morning. You’ve been a mess. You’ve
been calling me sir. Of course you
can marry Jemma, you can do whatever you damn well please so long as it makes
her happy. Only – ask my wife too, would you? She’ll be ever so peeved if she
doesn’t get to cry over you a few extra days.”
Jemma has to sneak back upstairs and pretend to be asleep
for a while longer so she can compose herself enough before dinner.
I smiled, looking up at the afterglow that came with a setting sun in the city. A busker’s guitar filled the air over the sound of a bustling metropolis, a wave of accomplishment washing over me as I realized I had completed my first day at my new job.
I left everything that didn’t serve me well, including Kai. There hadn’t been a good day ever since, especially since I begged Kai to compell me to forget him because it hurt too much, which he declined. It was all over now anyway and at least I had pushed it in the back of my brain.
I had a brand new wardrobe and a fun apartment overlooking a large body of water. It was all coming out great so far and I tried not to think about Kai too deeply as to backtrack and call him as I had a few nights prior in drunkenness.
I didn’t even remember what I said to him, just that I had woken up with the taste of regret and a call log with Kai’s name on it.
I was hungry as I wandered around. I hadn’t really had a chance to look around after I arrived, what with unpacking and the crippling fear that I’d screw something up at work.
There was nothing to worry about, admittedly. I bought one rose at a stand full of beautiful flowers and tucked it into the pocket of my shirt, continuing to meander the streets.
I finally decided I’d just go back to my apartment and sleep the rest of the night. I had climbed through the flights of stairs, a wonderful smell coming from somewhere, probably in my imagination.
I opened the door, gasping at the sight. All of the cardboard boxes I hadnt unpacked were gone and instead I saw candles placed along the main room. I realized that the smell was coming from my apartment when I saw Kai sitting at my coffee table, pouring wine.
“What are you doing here?” I shut the door behind me quietly, noting the soft music coming from somewhere in the room.
“Can you sit down so I can explain?” He smiled, patting the carpeted floor underneath where he sat. I hesitated, my knees almost becoming weak.
“Get out.” I clenched my jaw, my eyes blinking involuntarily quick. Kai smiled.
“Aren’t you wondering what happened to your little roommate?” Kai said, raising his eyebrows with a smug look on his face.
“What did you do to her?” I frowned, swallowing. Kai was the most capable in the world to do terrible things.
“Nothing. I promise, I didn’t hurt her.” He smiled. “Can’t you see I’m different now? You changed me.”
“Then why are you wasting my time?” I ignored the latter of his words, trying not to show the nervousness I felt as I shifted, wiping my hands on my jeans.
“I thought you wanted me here? You really confused me with that phone call, you know.” I froze, looking away.
“Whatever.” I said frigidly. “Just get out. I don’t want you here now, that’s all that matters.” I sniffled, avoiding eye contact as I opened the door for him to leave. He seemed wounded for a moment, as if his ego had deflated for half a second.
“Wait.” He said. “I love you.” He choked out.
My eyes flickered to his, a silence cast between us, the sound of a gentle song playing in the background next to the sound of the muffled city.
“A good time to tell me that was a long time ago, Kai.” I bit the inside of my lip. Why couldn’t he love me when I hadn’t already moved away and started a new job.
“But I didn’t know that I loved you then. I know now because I missed you so much, you were everywhere but you weren’t. I tried to get you out of my head but I couldn’t.” He breathed. “I love you.”
I felt dizzy. I dropped my bag and closed the door, walking to grab a water in the kitchen. “That’s really too bad, Kai. That you just thought you could walk back in because you wanted to.” I said, blood pumping quickly in my veins.
“I needed to. Just tell me how you get over this so I can leave.” He said. “How could you forget about me?”
“I didn’t, Kai. I’ve always loved you.”
As soon as I said the last four words, my back was on the kitchen table. His hands fanned out quickly above me, removing everything from the table and smashing his mouth against mine.
My fists were in his shirt, my body aching to be touched by his hot hands. He grabbed the rose in my pocket and ripped open my shirt, buttons scattering over the linoleum floor.
Broken glass blurred my vision as he pressed kisses on my neck, pulling my bra down and adorning my breasts as he ran the rose over them.
I created friction between us, wrapping my legs around him and pushing myself against his lower body. He lifted me up as my eyes closed and stumbled into the nearest bedroom, which wasn’t mine.
He threw me on the bed, grabbing my thighs and pulling me towards him. He pulled my pants from me, his face hidden in my hair as I pulled his clothes away from him, having his perfect shirtless body all to myself.
I almost fainted as his mouth traced over my chest, my skin rising in temperature as his hands pulled my underwear away.
“I love you.” He breathed, his nose tickling me as he ran his soft wet lips up to my face, pressing an open mouthed kiss on my lips. His heart accelerated under my hand. He leaned over me, his breath shortening.
“Please.” I said in a voice not my own, coated in desperation.
“Of course.” He said softly, his fingers dipping into my ticklish spot, probably not on purpose. I bit my tongue, squirming. He pulled away and undid his belt, my head spinning as he took his jeans off.
I sat up to admire him, blushing and avoiding looking at his hard penis. “You’re so beautiful.” I ran my hands behind his back, kissing his chest as he tilted his head back.
He grabbed my arm, running his hand up to grab my wrist. I swallowed as he put my hand on his cock. I looked down at it, my heart beating fast as I involuntarily wrapped my fingers around him.
“Uh… I don’t know what to do.” I licked my lips, shifting my hand. I didn’t mean to offend him but I had little to no experience with male genitalia.
He smiled as my cheeks heated up. “You don’t have to suck it, I just noticed you were a little scared.” He took my hand off and leaned over to kiss me. “Your safe with me.” He smiled, crossing our fingers together, our palms pressed against each other.
His other hand slipped in between my thighs. The faint recall of the taste of spilled wine on his skin as I tasted the pretty skin on his neck, scraping my teeth on him as if I were the vampire. He moaned quietly as I pushed my hips against his hand.
I pushed his hair back with my hand, whisking the sweaty little curls from his forehead. I looked in his eyes as he grabbed his dick, pushing inside me.
Everything was perfectly timed and soft, warm, and wet. I ran my hands to his back, clinging onto him.
“Fuck.” I said softly. “Oh,” I gasped, falling back on my pillow as his body gave into me, rocking back and forth slowly as not to hurt me. My head hit the headboard and I winced, closing my eyes as he trusted hard. “Faster.” I coaxed him.
Kai let out as shaky breath, holding onto my thighs as he drove in me, effortlessly picking up his speed as he fucked me. His eyebrows drew together above me, watching me clutch the unfamiliar bed sheets, twisting around the singularity of our connected bodies.
He growled, pressing his tongue against his clenched teeth as he wiped his brow, fucking me against the mattress like a pro, my breaths in the stifled air.
He opened his mouth and let out a plea as I squeezed around him, my back arching off the bed, my head thrashing back as he froze in place. I let out a throaty moan, relaxing as I came with one last thrust of his body against mine, his hands relaxing their death grip as he came in me.
He collapsed beside me and I rolled over on his arm. “I’d like a few more hours of that.” I said, my voice shakier than intended. He smiled. “I’m not so innocent now, am I?”
“Don’t kid yourself, babe, you’re sweeter than a mango.” He rubbed his thumb over my back. “Me and you in the shower does sound appealing though.”
The earth is 4.5 billion years old, humans as we know them have been around for about 200,000 years, and who knows how far into the future humans will exist, but that’s a lot of time, and somehow, the universe came together so perfectly that I got to exist at the exact same point in time as Sebastian Stan and I think that’s beautiful
Some disjointed thoughts about going forward from here
The most important thing right now is to be as vocal and educated and empathetic an ally as you can for everyone with more to fear than you.
Don’t judge people for enjoying the little things, they are more important than ever. Be patient with each other.
Take care of yourselves, this is going to be exhausting on so many levels, but sitting idly by is not an option and we’re going to need each other. Seek out peace, joy, laughter, and comfort where you can, provide it when you have the energy to, and take courage. You are not alone. We are in this together.
Yomo: ….Arima…. killed my sister.
Yomo: She was Touka and Ayato’s mother.
Yomo: …And even if you tell me now that he was on the Ghouls’ side, if he were in front of me I would have wanted to kill him.
Hirako: When I was still new, Arima-san told me this.
Arima: You are just like me.
Arima: Just like me, you too are empty.
Hirako: …I didn’t know his real intentions but a part of me felt something when he entrusted Zero Squad to me.
Hirako: I think that all the people around him worked hard in order to get even a robotic/cold compliment from him.
Hirako: That’s the same reason why I’m here right now.
Hirako: I wanted him to recognize me.
Hirako: All this time.
Hirako takes a sip off his coffee.
Hirako: Arima Kishou is dead.
Hirako: No matter how bitter you feel about him, the opportunity for you to kill him will never appear.
Hirako: Just like how your sister will never return.
Hirako: Yomo Renji.
Hirako: …We believe in ‘Arima Kishou’s choice’.
Hirako: While you all believe in 'Kaneki Ken’.
Hirako: Isn’t that fine?
Hirako: I personally think that understanding each other doesn’t mean we have to share/join together.
Yomo: …If it’s like that then I can probably do it.
Hirako: I don’t know the difference between our sense of taste and one of a Ghoul’s but…
Hirako: This coffee… is delicious.