my mental health is currently affecting my physical health overall. i haven’t been eating properly, and i lost some weight due to that. i don’t mean to worry you all, but i just simply wanted to let you know why i haven’t been posting as often as the rest of the admins.
i am currently suffering from my MDD at the moment, and i am being put under a lot of stress with the new school year.
i hope you all understand, as i am still trying to figure out where my head is at with everything.
I think i'm asking a little early, I forgot the date but I just wanted to know if your surgery went well? I figure you'll make a post about it but I just wanted to know if you're doing okay. Anyways if this is pre-op good luck and if it's post op I hope things went well. much love I hope you get back to full health soon!!!
Tomorrow will be a week exactly since I went into surgery. The surgery finished almost an hour early, roughly 4 hours total. I lost almost a litre of blood but I didn’t need any blood transfusions, thank God. The tumor was also bigger than I thought it was, a bit bigger than my actual kidney.
The first day was very rough; they tried to make me walk and I blacked out and threw up. The second day I was unable to urinate on my own for 6+ hours so I was stuck on a catheter for 2 days. Luckily by Sunday I was able to go on my own. They allowed me to go home on Sunday afternoon, but after removing my drainage tube from my side I got a fever that night of 101.5 degrees and couldn’t move/breathe well. There was fluid in my lungs too, but I think I fended off pneumonia for the most part by practicing the spiromiter thing. I was told to call the hospital if I had a fever or anything but I chose to sleep and drink water instead. My fever went away a couple days ago.
I can’t sleep long hours and still am in constant pain. My parents bought me a walker to walk to the bathroom when I need to, and I went to the hospital today to see my surgeon. He is giving me more pain meds and muscle relaxers to help me sleep at night. Luckily he told me the tumor was tested and wasn’t cancerous, though since I’m so young there’s a chance I’ll develop one on my liver or my kidney again in my lifetime. For now I’m not going to worry about it.
Thank you guys for all the prayers and kind thoughts. They helped a lot while I was in the hospital, and still help as I’m continuing to recover. Hopefully in a week I can move and get up by myself. For now I’m playing it by ear.
[Mikki Kendall tweeted: “I am fascinated by how many people have assumed the kid having the tantrum on the train is on the spectrum & thus needs extra patience.
I can say with some authority a Black kid on the spectrum having that same issue wouldn’t get half as much patience nor would his parent.
My youngest is on the spectrum. He had a tantrum in our house when he was 2. My white neighbor threatened to call the cops on me. But okay… When I tell you that my kids couldn’t act that way? That’s totally the voice of experience. Because Black boys on the spectrum can’t do that.
At least not if you want to avoid being reported to DCFS or having them handcuffed at school or you know… shot by a cop. Just saying.
This is the voice of bitter Black mom speaking though. Because I spend 2-3 days every year at his school dealing with racist assumptions.
Black boys do not get to have tantrums in public. They do not get to have them at school either. No matter what’s going on. Trust me on that.
Because (and here is indeed a fuck you very much) they will get killed if they cannot control themselves. No matter what’s going on.
I have to make sure kid #2 doesn’t have a meltdown in public, isn’t too loud at home either. We live in the hood for a reason.
If he’s having a rough day? My neighbors won’t call the cops. They will look out for him. But then they’re Black & they get it.
We literally work with him constantly on impulse control & self soothing. Because I want him to live past 20.
[link to related NPR article]
“There’s no compassion for kids like my son. My patience for your white ass feelings about Black parenting is pretty much nonexistent.
I’m a hardass. I know that. I do. But then I’ve had a dozen giant red warning signs that my kid can’t stay alive if he’s not in control.
Get at me when your kid on the spectrum has a meltdown & you get a call about the possibility of charges being pressed for yelling.
Because he’s tall & Black & repeated the same profanity as all the other kids involved in the fight. Call me when you realize he’s at risk.
I want you to sit at a table & listen to an adult white woman tell you she doesn’t like teaching your kid because he’s scary at 8.
Not that he’s been violent or threatening. Nope. He just yelled at her one day after she blamed him for being bullied. Go to that meeting.
Get a call about your kid being a problem because he’s too flat when he speaks. Not that he’s done anything. They don’t like his voice.
Have the “We’re going to write him up for trespassing” conversation because your kid sat in an empty classroom to study. Have that call.
My kids get good grades. They don’t do half the shit I did. But I have two sons & I stay in their schools keeping them safe from admins.
Meanwhile one of my neighbors did 10 years for attempted murder. He’s got no training. But he stops & chats with every kid on our block.
He warns them off gangs & listens when they’re mad. He helped teach kid #2 to throw a football. Because he knows how easy it is to get lost.
The grace you show to white kids? Try showing it to all kids. Our girls aren’t grown at 5 & our boys aren’t weapons at birth.“]