from a smart man

“It’s easy to have the impulse of, ‘I’ve got to strike, I’ve got to be relevant, I’ve got to keep this thing alive,’ ” [Andy Samberg] said. “But the truth is, if you’re doing stuff you like, it’ll happen, and it’ll happen in the way that’s right for you.”

No matter how many times I see Spider-Man homecoming I am always pissed off when Liz puts up the dance banner over the clock as if that is a logical decision

Bonding Time

Here, have the first part of a James Bond/Tony Stark xover. Because I want an xover of those two and because today is my birthday, so I get what I want even if I have to write it myself.

Enjoy!


Summary: Double-O Agent James Bond meets Tony Stark. It goes exactly as well as Fury feared it would go.

Or Five Times Tony accidentally gets involved in a secret mission, and the one time he does it entirely on purpose.

*

Part I Bond

Tony wasn’t pouting. He was not.

“Quit your pouting and move your fucking ass!” The guy behind him snarled (very impolitely), and pressed the gun harder into Tony’s back.

While uncomfortable, the loudly implied threat did not keep Tony from dragging his feet. For one Guy-With-Terrible-Breath hadn’t immediately shot him, which implied he had an interest in keeping Tony alive. For the time being at least. For another Tony was too busy mentally ranting to pay the guy much attention.

Because seriously, this entire situation was ridiculous. He was on vacation, for fuck’s sake. That in itself was rare enough an occurrence—no matter how often Obadiah insisted that he was young still, only twenty-three, and should be out, enjoying himself, Tony had never been very good at staying out of his own business.

It had taken Obadiah five months to convince Tony that Stark Industries wasn’t going to fall apart if he took a break on some tiny island near Spain. Too much like his father, Obadiah had grumbled, which had of course been the deciding factor in Tony agreeing to take his long put-off mandatory leave.

(He doesn’t mind vacations, just to clarify. He enjoys the partying and drinks just fine, thank you very much. It’s the lying in the sand all day sleeping and chilling that gets to him. Tony isn’t very good at turning his mind off and living in the moment. He needs puzzles to solve, patterns to predict, explosives to make boom. He needs to calculate and built, needs to keep his mind buzzing, and vacations—complete with being banned from disappearing into the workshop or talking business with his favourite engineers—don’t offer that.)

The second reason why Tony was in such a foul mood was that he had been responsible. He’d carefully chosen his destination, run some pretty background checks on his hotel, other residents, the usual. He’d complied with all of Obadiah’s pointless, overboard security precautions. Just once in his life Tony had taken things serious—like everyone seemed to insist he should—and he had gotten kidnapped for his troubles.

That settled it then. He was never going to listen to Obadiah ever again.

[more under the cut]

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im̷ g͟o̶i͞ng̛ to ̴wi͏n.͢
( darkiplier / antisepticeye )
im̷ g͟o̶i͞ng̛ to ̴wi͏n.͢

Script submitted by: @hufflepufftrax

A short, high pitched cackle echoed in the shadows.

“You felt it too, huh?” Asked a deep voice. It was addressing the being who had laughed. A green glow shined in the dark followed by a sharp toothed grin.
“O̧h̴ ͏ye͝ah I͠ f̨e̢lt̵ ҉i̧t̸ a͏lright͜. It’̢s ͏st͠rơng.”̢ a figure emerged surrounded by a faint, green light around them. They had a darker green in their spiky hair and a tidy beard that lined their mouth and jaw. They wore a black t-shirt and black jeans on their slim frame. He seemed to twitch as if the majority of his muscles were being subjected to small shocks. “A soul full of rage” said the deep voice. “Dark ͞woul͡d ya ̕j̷ust̵ a͡ppear a͟ĺr̀e̷a̶d͠y?̛”͢ Said the figure as he tapped his foot impatiently. 

“Always one to rush aren’t you, Anti?” Said the deep voice as another figure came from the black, inky surroundings. This man wore a smart, grey suit with a black tie. His hair was jet black with his fringe swept to one side. His body seemed to distort in the little light that was in the void they stood in.
“D̀i̡d͞ ͜y͡ou̸ ̡say ͢r͡ag͢e?”̢ Questioned Anti “I don’t see rage, I see energy and I want it” Dark sneered at Anti. “̡̕B̢́͞ac̸k̨͜ ̴̸o̕f̧̛f̵̨̧!̸” He growled “Al̵l ҉th̶at͢ a͞n̕ge̛r͜ ҉m̸ȩa͡n͟s͞ ͘a͘ ͞pass͠i̷onate͝ ̨s͡o̧ul͡. ̛Įt͏’͡s̨ ̧min̡e̷”̀ Anti’s green eye gleamed as he grinned at Dark.
“͘Al͠l͜ t͏h̷at̨ ̨e͡ne̕rg͞y̸ m̧eáns ͏l̨i̸f̵ę ͠a̶nd͡ ͡I̵ ͠néed͢ ̶a ͞t́op ̢u͡p. Se҉em͡ş m͡y ̶hos̕t̕ i͠s şt̵i͝ll͢ ͏g͠o҉t̡ a b͞it͟ o̴f ̨fi̸gh͞t̵ ̷in ̵h̨i͏m”
Dark folded his arms and stared at the demon in front of him. That grin always annoyed him. Anti was too happy, too erratic and impulsive even when the host body was fighting to regain control. He had to reign him in if he wanted to win this soul they could sense. He gave a low chuckle as he came up with an idea. “Let’s make it interesting” Anti twitched his head and narrowed his eyes. “W͞ha͜dd͟y҉a h͝áve͠ ̕i͘n҉ ͞m̨in͟d̶?̵” ͜“Whoever loses has to let their host take their body back” Anti’s face turned serious. “̵T̷h̡at’s s͟om͞e high͝ s̶t́ák͝es,͡ ̡Da̸rk͠.͡” The smartly dressed Demon broke into a smile. “Scared you’ll lose?” “Tc͡h,͜”̸ spat Anti “I m̶eant͠ t̵he̶ ҉s̴ta͟k͞es ͟a͟re ͏h̡i͢gh͏ f̀or ͠you҉,̧ ya ͜m̛o͠r̵ơn”  “We shall see” said Dark, seemingly unfazed by Anti’s taunt. With that, Dark faded back into the shadows. Anti was left alone in the dark void. He shook his head. He could hear his host shouting within his mind. ̕“̵Got͡ta s̷h̕ut ͠yo͜u u̕p ̴q̨ui҉ck.̶ ̴I ̴a͘in͘’̡t ̧gi̡v̧in̶’ ̵u͏p̧ ̧t͏h͝is ̸body͝.͜ Ţi̢m͡e ͝t̕o w̸i͏n̸ t͢h́at ̛s̴o͡u̧l͡” he quickly left the void in a trial of green smoke.

2

There were a lot of things you didn’t particularly like about being a mutant. You had a list, if you were honest about it.

1) Not having the greatest control over your powers.
2) Being isolated from all your human friends.
3) The way your biological family had reacted.
4) Suddenly having roommates.
5) Living at school.
6) Eating Scott’s attempt at cooking.

Really, that list could go on forever. And ever. Except… being a mutant wasn’t all bad. You were getting a hang of it, however slowly. You’d made new friends. Your roommates had horrible taste in clothes but excellent taste in music. 

And they were totally chill with your boyfriend waking you up.

Not that Peter couldn’t speed in and drag you out to the living room, but there was something very nice about waking up in your own bed to a slow kiss.

“Seeing you wake is still one of my favorite things,” he murmured as you blinked your eyes open slowly. He had jumped back to the foot of the bed as a token respect to the good Professor’s wishes.

“I can think of something better,” you told him, your voice a little crackly and slow from sleep. You sat up and made a pass at his hand. Which he didn’t even have to try to dodge, given the unfortunate fact you missed and landed right back on the bed.

Peter laughed, shaking his head at you which was so.rude.

“What would that be?” 

Smarmy attractive little jerk. 

You decided to embrace the lying down thing. It was reaaallly working for you.

“Feeding me. It’s the least you could do for having so much fun at my expense.”

He had brought your favorite foods before you even finished your sentence, and stole a quick kiss while he was at it.

“God, I love you. I’ll even share a blueberry muffin with you in appreciation.”

Peter had the good sense not to tell you that he’d had several on his way. Or that he could have claimed one from you at any time. He was a smart man, your boyfriend.

“Love you too, Y/N.”

Prompt credit: x

Savor the moment - Remus Lupin x Reader(smut)


Request
: ½ Can you write a RemusLupin x Ravenclaw!Reader? reader and Remus have been friends since the first year. Always flirt, not intentionally and just have this unexplainable connection. One day Sirius tells Remus about how he saw you flirting with some guy and being really touchy. He gets jealous which he doesn’t fully understand. 2/2 Both are prefects and one day they meet in the prefect’s bathroom. They start to argue about it what is it his business if she flirts with other guys. It turns to a makeout, eventually, smut ;) Seeing the scars on his torso is hot btw. Thank you!
Warnings: My English, smut, swearing? 
Gifs aren’t mine/ Credits to their original owners
MASTERLIST

You couldn’t remember your life without Remus. Since the very first day, you stepped onto that platform up until now.

You couldn’t seem to find an empty compartment, all of them were taken. You sighed and opened the door of the one next to you. Four boys were already there but it was the least crowded, so you hadn’t much of a choice. They were staring at you. Well, not all of them.
“Can I sit here? Everywhere else is packed” you asked politely. They all nodded excitedly. Well, not all of them.
“Of course” one of the black-haired boys said. You smiled warmly and took a seat. You could have never imagined that those four boys would be your family.


You had grown to love and care about those four boys, who were not boys anymore. They were men, as they would inform you after each time you acted all motherly. You were currently in their common room, studying- or at least trying. You may be a Ravenclaw but you found yourself sleeping in their dorm.  You were sitting on Remus’ lap- it wasn’t something new. All of them were trees and you were a bush. Sirius had offered many times to replace Remus but he was always saying it so… suggestively that you would slap his arm and move further away. Or that was what you were trying to convince yourself.
With a book on your one hand and a quill on the other, you tried to write down a couple of notes but it felt almost impossible. You were too tired and it was too late. Remus laughed, taking notice on your poor attempts as he removed the book from your grasp and placed the quill down.
“You need to rest” he told you kindly, smiling at you. Why is he so perfect? Wait. What? You reluctantly climbed off his lap and plopped beside him, resting your head in the crook of his neck. His scent was intoxicating; chocolate, ink, parchment and something spicy. He sighed, burying his face into your locks. He often did this; you knew that it wasn’t something to be considered awkward or odd but he did find comfort in the intimate action. In fact, it had become one of his getaways; you could blame the sugary scented shampoo.
“Won’t you join me?” you playfully asked. Your breath fell hot on the sensitive skin of his neck, your voice sending shivers down his spine. But you didn’t know this.
“Not in front of the kids, sweetheart” he teased you and the guys laughed. The always called you Mom and Dad. Even if you hadn’t admitted yet, you did feel that strange flip your stomach did when he called you sweetheart. Even if he didn’t mean it like that. Your heart squeezed in a strange way. You let your eyes roam his form. His broad shoulders, his toned torso, his messy hair, his eyes… Merlin his eyes. And his scars. Lord save the scars. They were so sexy… Wait. What?
“Guys, I have to go to my room” you said after a while. It wasn’t that you wanted to leave. You really didn’t. But you had to rest, as Remus had pointed out. Annoyingly correct as always.
“Why don’t you sleep with me?” Remus asked you without thinking. Your eyes widened and your heart stopped. Did he just say that? All of you were looking at him curiously. Sirius was smirking, James had raised his eyebrows, Peter had blushed and you… well, you tried to keep a straight face. He seemed to realize what he had suggested as his cheeks turned red.
“I didn’t mean to offend you. I just meant we could, you know, share a bed” he said in a small voice. Your heart fell. And broke. Of course, he didn’t mean it like that. Why would he ever look at you? You forced a smile as you shook your head.
“You didn’t offend me, Rem. I think it’s best if I just go. See you tomorrow guys” you stoically sad. He would never think of you as anything else but a friend. Why did that hurt so much? ‘Oh, I don’t know… Maybe because you’re in love with your best friend?’ you could practically hear your mind screaming. You ignored it as you made your way out of the portrait hole. Great. Just Great.


It wasn’t a big deal. Some stupid bloke had flirted with you and asked you out. You had declined, of course. Somehow Sirius found out and by somehow, you meant playing spy. It wasn’t something new. You knew that the guys were really protective over you. What you didn’t know was that Sirius had told a special somebody and that somebody felt a hint of jealousy even though he didn’t exactly understand it. Or why. But it was safe to say that the night that was to follow you would find out more than enough that kind of justified his jealousy.
He had been avoiding you all day long, but since you were both Perfects it was inevitable to come face to face at some point. You were frustrated and a bit sad because you didn’t know why he was avoiding you. You thought that maybe you had said something to offend him or you had done something to irritate him. But as hard as you tried to think of something… it never came to your mind.
It had been a long day. You hadn’t had a single moment for yourself. You had been studying, patrolling, attending classes, chatting with friends, helping first-years, saying no way too many times to that bloke. It was a long day. But you were glad it was over.
You had just lowered yourself inside the perfects’ bathtub-or pool, as you liked to call it. That thing was huge. Unconsciously, you had chosen the sugary scented bath foam along with the chocolate one. You really didn’t do it on purpose. It was just relaxing you.
You played with the bubbles a bit, the hot water relaxing your sore muscles and the sweet and oddly familiar scent bringing a new kind of tranquility to your mind. You dived your head under the water as you tried to stop thinking.
It was then that you heard footsteps and immediately looked up, removing the foam from your face and hair.
Remus.
He looked bewildered, angry and… hot.
“Um, I’ll just go” he said in a small voice. His eyes were trying to focus on anything but you. He blushed and turned to leave but he halted. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. Not that you didn’t want him there, because boyyy, you did.
“Where is he?” he asked you, his voice hoarse. Your confusion only grew bigger.
When he turned around his face was red but not in embarrassment.
“Where is he?” he repeated a bit more demanding.
“Who?” you simply questioned him. He was so hot when he was angry. Merlin, just take off your shirt, already.
“That stupid brat you were flirting with today” he spat. Remus was never the one to use that kind of names on other people. Not even on Malfoy. And then it hit you. He was jealous. But in order to be jealous he had to…like you? Did he like you like that?
“It’s none of your business who flirts with me but to answer your offending question… no one is here. Happy now?” you answered nonchalantly as you actually swam across the tub-pool making eye contact with him. He seemed to realize that he had just assumed that you were intimate with a stupid guy you didn’t really know and he felt stupid and… relieved?
“Maybe I want it to be” he found himself admitting. You froze. Literally stopped moving and breathing. He lowered his head and turned to leave. You weren’t a Gryffindor but you had to be a bit more than just brave. You gulped hard and slowly raised from the water, revealing your naked body. He hadn’t noticed, up until you were already out and too close. He didn’t dare to turn and face your eyes and … everything else. You counted to three before you placed a hand on his shoulder, encouraging him to actually face you.  And he did. Slowly. He tried to keep his eyes from roaming your body but he failed. Big time. A blush was already there. So, naturally what he did next came as a surprise. He pushed you towards the wall and pressed you against it.
“I want you” he admitted but not shyly. There was a hunger that burned in his eyes. He had gone from a shy, quiet and smart boy to a hungry, bold and sexy man in a matter of seconds. The way he was looking at you made you weak and needy. He didn’t move, waiting for your answer.
“Take me” you husked. He wasted no time. He pressed his lips against your neck and started sucking on your skin gently. His hands slide over your wet and naked chest, loving how smooth your skin felt under his fingertips. You were left breathless when he bit your soft spot as his kisses lowered on your neck, sucking your skin, marking you as his. You played with the hem of his blouse-you wanted off. But he hesitated, so you pulled away.
“You don’t want this” you whispered softly. Your heart had fallen in the pit of your stomach. He shook his head and he ran his hands through his hair.
“It’s not that. I just…” he trailed off. He hadn’t told you about his ‘condition’ but you weren’t stupid. He was concerned. You pulled him for a passionate kiss and you slowly moved to the edge of the tub. He tasted like chocolate. Of course. You took a deep breath and lowered your body in the water-it was still hot- not too much, just enough to tease him as your breast were going up and down with each breath you took.
He kicked his shoes and trousers and sat down on the edge, legs in the water. So, he didn’t mind being naked in his lower body. This had to be about his scars. You trapped yourself between his legs and your hands lowered to the hem of the cloth and pulled it over his head. This time he didn’t move. But he didn’t breathe either. Your hands roamed his toned torso and caressed his scars tenderly. Honestly, you found his scars way too sexy. Like, they should be illegal.
You felt his body relaxing underneath your touch. You looked him in the eyes and smiled shyly.
“I know Remmy” you simply told him and he knew that you were aware of his problem. What surprised him was that you had stayed and well, not only stayed…
“Beautiful” he whispered in your ear. His hand lowered in between your legs, and he slid his fingers up and down your folds. His fingers found your sensitive nub, and he drew circles around it, he added a little pressure directly to your clit and rubbed it slowly. He hadn’t broken the eye contact you held but you closed your eyes feeling his slender fingers working miracles under the water.
A low moan escaped your lips as you rested your head on his chest while he was drawing shapes on your clit, making you want even more. He picked up the speed a little, rubbing you faster and making another moan escape your lips. You had melted under his hand and you wouldn’t be able to regain focus so you pulled away from his touch. You kissed him hungrily and trailed your mouth all the way down to his briefs. You pulled them down as he lifted his body lightly. Your hand moved up his thigh and you wrapped your fingers around his already erected cock, pumping him slowly. You felt him grow beneath your touch even more. You lowered your head and teased him with small kitten licks on the head, letting your tongue swirl around the top and all the way down to the base. His breath was erratic, trying his hardest not to buck his hips up. You sucked at the head, letting go to see pre-cum drizzle down his throbbing cock.
“Please…” he breathed out and you finally wrapped your lips around him, sinking down as far as you could without choking. You used your hand to work the rest that you couldn’t fit while you start bobbing your head up and down. He moaned your name and you felt your heat dripping. You prompted him to step into the water as you pulled away.
Remus brushed your hair out of your face, and you wrapped your arms around his neck as you lifted yourself up wrapping your legs around his waist and adjusting his member to your entrance. You slid down on his impressive length, groaning as you stretched around his size. His lips found yours and crashed together. He was biting your bottom lip so hard that he drew out blood but you returned the favor. Fighting for dominance, you let him win this once.
Slowly, you started grinding your hips against his and he moaned as you moved around him. ‘Who is the dominant one now’ you thought. His hands moved to your hips as he set the pace increasing the friction and of course, the pleasure. He was hitting places you never even knew existed causing you to moan his name. He was thrusting into you harder and deeper, getting close to the edge from all of your actions. He gritted his teeth as he tried to make himself last longer, but your moans and the very fact that you were there, pushed him over the edge. You felt twitched inside of you and you felt his cum filling you up.  He reached down and started rubbing your clit, helping you reach your high as he rode out his own. Your body tightened around him and you came with his name falling from your lips a couple of times.  Your body throbbed as Remus pounded into you one last time. You slowly regulated your breaths as he pulled out of you, resting his head in the crook of your neck, intoxicated by your scent.
“I guess I should have told you before… but, um, I am in love with you” he admitted sheepishly and you couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Better late than ever, Rem” you softly said but it was muffled by his messy and wet hair as you had rested your head on top of his. He pulled away just a bit so he could look at your eyes. He was waiting for an answer. What an idiot.
“I wouldn’t have sex with you if I wasn’t in love with you, Lupin” you playfully told him as you pulled him back, hugging him tightly. You couldn’t see that but he wasn’t just smiling. He was grinning like a mad man. 




Tags: @starsepot @kapolisradomthoughts

Best of Wives & Best of Women

Lin-Manuel x Reader

in which the workaholic writer seemingly neglects his love despite their pleadings; their relationship is put on the rocks and Lin is too oblivious to see.

words: 1,345

warnings: loneliness and sadness

Finally! here’s the lin fic I’ve been promising for weeks. Sorry for the wait and if its awful bahaha!

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  • Me (a fool): bwuuhhh... im hungryyy.. i hate WORKINg... i wish i could afford the food and medicine i need... capitalism sure does suck :( :( :(
  • Smart man (wise): hello, i just came here, from economics university, and the REAL reason things are bad is because we don’t have ENOUGH capitalism. What you need is MORE of it, you idiot, you stupid baby
  • me: :-o
Mr. Barnes Will See You Now (10)

Prompt: 50 Shades of Barnes. VERY LOOSELY BASED!!!

Note: I do not own any of the characters or story line.

A/N: I am so sorry this took so long! I am the worst person ever apparently! I will be getting to the asks that have been sitting in my box forever too! Been off a hella long time! This is fairly long to make up for it I hope?

Word Count: 1580

( Part 1 ) ( Part 2 ) ( Part 3 ) ( Part 4 ) ( Part 5 ) ( Part 6 ) ( Part 7 ) ( Part 8 ) ( Part 9 )

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  • How people normally portray Katherine: Spunky, yelling at someone 24/7, Feminist™, never willing to back down from a fight, don't need no man.
  • How Katherine really is: Smart, sassy, kind, willing to stand up for women's rights even though the world says no, willing to give up her entire career to follow a stupid boy she cars about, willing to jeopardize her entire career to help a bunch of boys fight the big man, lets Les sit on her lap, reads books to the boys, makes Davey go red 90% of the time, doesn't take crap from anyone, accidentally makes the younger boys learn some curse words, cares about her Stupid Impossible Boy, doesn't need a man because she has everything she could ever want.
Not All Wounds Heal (Part 6/?) (Avengers x reader)

Part 5

“You can’t heal everything, (Y/N),” Steve eventually spoke again, “not all wounds heal.  I’m sure that Tony would agree if he knew you were offering this.”

“Dammit, Steve, why can’t you just say what you want to say? What’s holding you back?  Tell Sam to mind his own business and grow a pair, already.”

“Wow, I’ve forgotten how blunt you can be.  But, okay, fine,” he finally relented quietly, “will you help Buck, (Y/N)?  It would mean…it would mean everything to me if you would try.”

“Yes, Steve, I’ll try. Thank you for deciding that you can trust me.”

“Okay…great,” he sighed, and the relief in his voice didn’t escape you at all; you had been right and he wanted to ask, but now that the words were out and you had agreed, he had no idea why he thought it would be so difficult.  “I’ll make arrangements to bring you here-“

But I have one condition.”

“Okay?”

“When I’m done, and when I’ve healed his mind, you all come home.”

“(Y/N), it’s not that simple-“

“But it can be,” you argued.  “You’re all just making it too difficult.  You’re all letting your pride and hurt feelings get in the way.  It’s time to grow up and fix this.  Agree, Steve, or I stay here, and your best friend gets frostbite.”

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"Sous Ta Caresse" - LokixReader

Prompt :: Inspired by Complainte De La Butte by Rufus Wainwright.  When the world seems against him, a prince seeks solace by looking down on the lower lives of Asgard.  However, he finds a rare light that burns cracks in his icy core.

Features :: Semi-Peaceful AU, Asgardian reader, female reader, Frigga is the best mom, Loki is a sweetie and no one can tell me otherwise

Warnings :: N/A

Word Count :: 4451

Additional Notes :: Translation: Under Your Caress. This is a fic I’ve been working on for a while, and finally finished!  I’m still working on endings and getting back into regularly writing, but I’m getting there.  Sorry if it’s wonky.

Originally posted by killerqueen-with-a-lazerbeam

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Maybe it’s just me but there aren’t many nerdy/geeky Black girls portrayed on tv or in movies. You get the nerdy weird white boy who salivates over the pretty popular girls, the brunette white chick who has a heart of gold and gets transformed by the end, the stereotypical geeky Asian kid who’s good at math or the nerdy Black side kick who’s into gadgets and gizmos. Like where are my Black STEM ladies at? Where are my MATHletes/Science club/Chess club ladies? Where are my cosplaying anime nerds? I need some good representation.