frogless

Iwaoi Birthday Headcanons
  • When they’re little, their moms of course pick out the birthday presents for them.
  • It’s always silly stuff like plastic toy bugs for Iwaizumi and a children’s telescope for Oikawa
  • One of the first times Iwaizumi’s mother gives him some money to pick out Oikawa’s birthday present on his own, he knows exactly what he’s getting
  • He has to buy that one scary alien movie Oikawa’s been dying to see in secret because technically they aren’t allowed to watch it
  • They end up spending the whole night huddled under a blanket together making up excuses for why neither of them can sleep until eventually they both just pass out on top of each other from exhaustion
  • Never again will Iwaizumi be buying a scary movie for Oikawa
  • NOT
  • When they’re in high school, around the time I headcanon them as dating (so third year probably), Iwaizumi always buys Oikawa scary alien movies for Christmas, or some holiday, because he secretly likes the cuddling and he himself isn’t scared of those movies any more
  • Much.
  • Oikawa is totally more scared though. Totally.
  • His reactions are definitely worth it anyway
  • For Iwaizumi’s next birthday (just after the scary movie incident), Oikawa actually forgets to buy him a present at first because he was getting really stressed about volleyball and the team and stuff
  • Iwaizumi may have ignored him for an entire day because His Best Friend Forgot His Birthday And No One Needs To Know How Much That Actually Hurt Him
  • But Oikawa is an insistent little shit and eventually corners him, blubbering and crying because he’s still a total crybaby at this age: “Iwachan can’t leave me! Who else will be my best friend! I’m so sorry I’ll buy you anything you want!!”  but Iwaizumi is still pretty hurt and just brushes him off with a gruff “forget about it” and walks off
  • Oikawa is shell shocked because Iwaizumi always ALWAYS forgives him almost immediately when he fucks up, even if he doesn’t like to sugar coat it, but Iwaizumi is obviously still upset
  • The very next day Oikawa shows up at Iwaizumi’s doorstep looking very sheepish and holding something behind his back. Iwaizumi just raises an eyebrow (and okay maybe he’s being a little childish at this point but his supposed best friend forgot his /birthday/ and birthdays are pretty serious shit in junior high)
  • Finally Oikawa pulls the thing he’s hiding around for Iwaizumi to see. It’s a volleyball. A very old and rather ragged looking volleyball, but Iwaizumi recognizes it immediately.
  • It was the very first volleyball Oikawa had ever gotten (a gift from his parents) and coincidentally was the reason the two met and became friends.
  • They’d been very young at the time and Iwaizumi had been playing in the creek catching bugs or frogs or whatnot when he was suddenly knocked into the water by a stray volleyball.
  • Soaked to the bone and now frogless, Iwaizumi had turned around to yell at his attacker only to be met with a pathetic blubbering snot nosed kid crying about his brand new volleyball now floating away down the river.
  • Annoyed but not one to turn away a person in need, (and I mean he was already completely wet now, he’d might as well) Iwa had made his way down the creek to return the runaway ball.
  • And that had been the start of their friendship (rather grudgingly at first on Iwa’s part, but he’d warmed up to Oikawa pretty quickly, not that he needed to know that)
  • Back to present time. Well, junior high time. Here’s Oikawa, red eyed and looking tired and downtrodden, standing at Iwaizumi’s door holding out a beaten up volleyball with what Iwaizumi suddenly realizes is a haphazardly taped on bow and overall just looking thoroughly defeated and God dammit Iwaizumi really is a softie at heart and he rubs a hand on his face to hide how touched he actually is. Fucking Hell “God dammit Asskawa, how is it you forget someone’s birthday but still manage to make them feel bad for you, you shithead”
  • and Oikawa just stares at him looking both confused and hopeful at the same time and finally Iwaizumi just sighs, admitting defeat, because really, NO ONE can say no to Oikawa, including him. Especially him. Even if he pretends otherwise.
  • “Just give me the ball dumbass”  which is Iwa-speak for “yeah I forgive you” and Oikawa immediately shrieks and jumps on Iwaizumi like a spider monkey and of course this inevitably ends in wrestling and shit talking but all is right in the world and if Iwaizumi sleeps with that volleyball next to his pillow for an entire two weeks straight no one needs to know
  • (Eventually it gets moved to under his bed where it’s within arms reach whenever he’s having a shitty day, but at least not in such an obvious spot anymore)
  • For Oikawa’s next birthday Iwaizumi buys him something dumb like toilet paper “because you’re such a piece of shit” which gets lots of squawking protests from Oikawa until Iwaizumi gives him his actual gift (a book of all the most famous volleyball players in Japan)
  • Now it’s a tradition that they always give each other two gifts, a shitty fake one and THEN a real one

Frogless
Margaret Atwood

The sore trees cast their leaves
too early. Each twig pinching
shut like a jabbed clam.
Soon there will be a hot gauze of snow
searing the roots.

Booze in the spring runoff,
pure antifreeze;
the stream worms drunk and burning.
Tadpoles wrecked in the puddles.

Here comes an eel with a dead eye
grown from its cheek.
Would you cook it?
You would if.

The people eat sick fish
because there are no others.
Then they get born wrong.

This is not sport, sir.
This is not good weather.
This is not blue and green.

This is home.
Travel anywhere in a year, five years,
and you’ll end up here.