Helpless - Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

“Daddy’s comin’ buddy!” Dean called out to Noah, who had been crying for about 5 solid minutes with no signs of stopping. “I’m getting your bottle, alright? I’m comin!” 

Dean made his way down the hall, surprised when the cries started to stop, being replaced with tiny giggles. He swung the door to Noah’s room open gently and froze in terror, seeing a semi transparent figure bent over the crib. “Get away from my son!” 

“Dean.” You jumped back, startled at the intrusion. You’d always been so careful, never letting him catch you before. You always showed up when Noah needed someone and Dean or Sam couldn’t get to him right away. You spent every single night in his room, soothing him to sleep so Dean and Sam could sleep through the night uninterrupted. In that moment all you could think to do was run, and that’s exactly what you did, running past Dean and heading for the door of the bunker. 

“Y/N?” Dean whispered, tears forming in his eyes. He spun quickly, leaving Noah’s bottle forgotten on the table in his room. “Y/N, stop!” 

He found you at the door to the bunker, realizing that you couldn’t leave. You were attached. “Shit.” You muttered, opening the door and trying to leave, being stopped by some kind of invisible wall. 

“How long?” Dean questioned. You slowly turned around and walked back down the stairs, staring down at the floor, away from him. “How long have you been here?” 

“Since the hospital.” You murmured. “Since you -” You cut yourself off, shaking your head and walking away. Dean reached out, able to grip your shoulder and turn you around. 

“You can say it, you are not wrong.” He looked at you sadly. “Go ahead.” 

“What did you think I was gonna say?” 

“Ever since I killed you.” Dean sobbed. “Y/N I’m so sorry.” Dean pulled you to him, holding you tight to his chest. “This is all my fault.” 

“It was an accident.” You murmured. “I was gonna say ever since you chose to save our son.” 

“Noah.” Dean suddenly remembered, wiping his eyes. “He needs his bottle. Come on.” You followed Dean back into Noah’s room and Dean handed you the bottle. “Do you want to?” 

“Yeah.” You nodded and made your way to the crib, lifting your son and cradling him in your arms. You sat down in the glider and started to feed him, rocking him gently to get him back to sleep. “Mommy’s here, baby boy.” Noah cuddled right up to you, like he’d known you for his whole three months of life, which he really did. 

“He loves you.” Dean smiled. “He’s a good little guy. Sleeps through the night. When he cries he calms himself down before Sam and I even come for him.” You looked up at Dean and saw the realization dawn on him. “You’ve been with him the whole time, haven’t you?” 

“You take care of him all day. I figure I can give you nights off.” You shrugged. 

You both sat in silence after that, Dean watching you with sad eyes as you ran your cold hand over your son’s forehead, lulling him to sleep. “Y/N…you…you know you can’t stay. You know what happens to spirits…”

“No.” You snapped. “You can’t send me away, Dean. I won’t let you.” 

“You think I want that?” Dean questioned, a tear sliding down his cheek. “You think I want my son to grow up without his mother? You think I want to explain to him what I did to you? You think I don’t want you here? I just…it always ends the same way.” 

“Not this time.” You shook your head. “I’m not angry. I’m not vengeful. I won’t be. I have everything I’ve ever wanted.” 

“They all say that, Y/N/N.” Dean murmured. “What are you attached to? I won’t do anything tonight. We’ll talk about it, I promise you. I just…I need to know.” 

“No.” You glared at Dean, completely unwavering. “We’re not gonna talk about it. It can’t happen.” Instinctively, you clutched your son tighter to your chest, a move that did not go unnoticed by Dean. 

“No.” Dean shook his head, staring down at Noah. “You’re attached to Noah?” 

You nodded sadly, holding back your own tears. “You can’t ever put me to rest, Dean. You’d have to kill our son.” 

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