Lydia Edwards’ How to
Read a Dress covers nearly five centuries and makes quick work of some
complex sartorial times. Critic Genevieve Valentine says, after you read it, “Period-piece
TV will never look the same.”
Vampire aristocrat. Lives in a gloomily decorated mansion, has an entire room of velvet frock coats and ruffled shirts, and more candelabras than anyone thought was possible.
Eccentric lady who lives in a cottage in the misty forest. Owns a lot of cats. Can often be found gathering plants in the middle of a moonlit night. Probably a witch, but no one has been brave enough to ask.
Governess wearing a flowing white nightgown, flickering candle in hand, exploring the secret passageways of a gloomily decorated mansion. She suspects the owner is a vampire.
Hi my name is Draco Malfoy and I have short platinum blonde hair (platinum just like my bank account) and cerulean orbs that fanfic authors cream themselves over and a lot of people tell me I look like young Gerard Way (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to him but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a dragon but I don’t have scales. I have pale white skin. I’m also a wizard, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black frock coat with a lot of frilly lace and black jeans and black combat boots. I don’t have a crush on Harry Potter but I was looking for him anyway because I hate him so much. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of muggleborns stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
They’ve been told they would be meeting with only two members of the Triumvirate, but three people stood by the pool. Jesper knew the one-eyed girl in the red-and-blue kefta must be Genya Safin, and that meant the shockingly gorgeous girl with the thick fall of ebony hair was Zoya Nazyalensky. They were accompanied by a fox-faced man in his twenties wearing a teal frock coat, brown leather gloves, and an impressive set of Zemeni revolvers slung around his hips.
“Surveying more than 13,000 people — the largest published study of The Dress to date — [neuroscientist Pascal Wallisch] finds that early risers tend to see the frock as gold and white, whereas night owls are slightly more likely to see it as blue and black.”