friendship bullshit

Dear Evan Hansen AU in which Connor didn’t commit suicide but rather he ran from home, leaving Evan’s letter behind. So pretty much the story of the musical still plays out. But then Connor ends up coming back, half because he wants to kick Evan’s ass for pretending to have been his friend, half because he caught wind of the Connor Project and… He was glad?
I mean, they were all hypocrites but the support and memorials… It got to Connor and after calling Evan a dick he held out his hand like “I’m the real Connor. Thanks for making them remember. Now get ready to deal with me and clear all these lies up.”

i better not see ppl getting mad at dot when y'all know very well y'all wouldn’t miss an opportunity to jump magnus 🙄

can I just say that as much as I love Pakistan winning, I love the fact that both teams thanked each other, congratulated each other and showed genuine professionalism and showmanship and friendship beyond the political bullshit both teams are forced to endure. Kudos. As buzzed as I am by PK winning, this was a victory for BROWN cricket and I’m so freaking here for it

anonymous asked:

okay, i have a problem: i'm aromantic and i don't know how the fuck romantic love works, so idk how to write a romance without falling into the "romance is more important and better than friendship" bullshit. how is romantic love different from friendship? why do people fall in love? how does it feel? why do some people work well as friends and not as lovers? wtf i don't understand anything

Thanks so much for your question, darling!  Romantic love differs for everyone, so a few of the mods have come together to give you our opinions :)


What Defines Romantic Love?

Mod Joanna says:

Hi, love!  I appreciate this question, because it’s something I’ve been working out myself for a long time.  I’m demisexual, so I really don’t experience physical/romantic attraction to anyone until I’ve built a friendship with them.  That’s always made it difficult for me to separate romantic love from a strong friendship, because for me, they’re nearly one and the same.

But since romance is a big part of my writing (and has been for several years), I’ve learned much more about romantic love and how to separate it (fictionally and in reality) from platonic love.  In my experience, romantic love…

  • Functions, at its base, like a strong friendship.  The process of meeting a person, learning about them, becoming attached to them, desiring to spend time with them – these phases exist in all relationships. Falling in love seems to happen faster, though, because it’s accelerated by physical attraction.
  • Includes physical attraction.  Friends can be attracted to each other, but romantic, prolonged attraction grows and develops over time.  Affection tends to “blind” or warp one’s vision, so that even mundane traits or actions can become attractive.  Heres an LGF post on growing attraction!
  • Accelerates physical intimacy.  Romantic partners, after a certain amount of time together, have decreased physical boundaries between each other.  The safer two people feel around each other physically, the more affectionate and comfortable they become.  Often, couples start to think of each other as physical extensions of themselves (which is why some couples feel comfortable sharing drinks/gum/clothes etc.). This can be stronger for – but is not exclusive to – sexually active couples.
  • Fosters a deep, absolute affection for a person’s strengths, flaws, quirks, and humor.  It gives a desire to be closer to that person – to know them completely.  Romantic love is a long-term investment in someone’s hopes and dreams, and in helping them to achieve those dreams.  It’s a hope to see someone grow in good ways, to protect them from bad things, and to make them happy.
  • Inspires growth and self-love.  Feeling someone else’s affection and investment both spurs healthier life choices and alters one’s image of themselves.  People in healthy relationships are more likely to take better care of themselves, to be more ambitious and confident, and to be more content in hard times.

Ultimately, though, the biggest difference for me is the falling-in-love phase.  It’s much more rapid, and much less controllable than the beginning phase of a platonic friendship.  In contrast, the later phases of romance – facing differences and staying in love – are more trying than in extended friendship.  Being that intensely close to another person is a challenge as much as it is a pleasure.  Don’t forget that.


Mod Gen says:

Hey! When I saw this question I immediately had a few ideas, as I’m asexual
and demiromantic and relationships for me are primarily non-physical and
more about romance and friendship. For me, romance isn’t so different from
friendship – I’m in a relationship that also blurs the lines of being a QPR
(queer-platonic relationship). Our relationship started as a friendship and
slowly developed into more romantic feelings. In my opinion and experience,
relationships/romance that have a basis in friendship are usually more
successful/healthy. Usually, romantic partners are also friends, some more
so than others. For this reason, I would say friendship is equally, if not
more, important than romance in a lot of cases (in my humble opinion).
Showing that two characters who are in a romantic relationship are also
friends is very important. They should have some sort of chemistry, or
banter, they should support each other, etc. etc.

Okay, I’m about to get real sappy: for me, falling in love with someone is
beautiful. I can barely begin to put into words how much I care for my s/o,
how much I miss her when I’m not around, how I can almost feel a physical
ache when she’s not there, how much I want her to be happy. I know her like
I know myself (probably better, actually), and I just feel so calm when I’m
around her. She puts me at ease, and simply being with her can make me feel
so much better and improve my mood. We don’t even have to talk or interact.
My heart doesn’t flutter when I see her; it calms.


Mod Daenerys says:

Hey there! First off, I want to say that a strong, healthy romantic relationship should also be a great friendship. In my opinion, the best romantic relationships are built off of friendships - not to mention, in fiction it is very easy to fall into the controversial love-at-first sight trope, which it seems like you are trying to avoid. It is also my opinion that we tend to place more value on romantic relationships than we do on friendships, which are equally important, if not more important for some people.

I’m asexual, and biromantic, so relationships in my case are more focused on those friendship sort of aspects, whether romantic or platonic. As for falling in love, I think it comes down to having someone that you want to be deeply, deeply close to. You find yourself wanting to place their happiness above your own, you start thinking in terms of ‘we’ instead of ‘I’…that sort of thing. A romantic relationship seems to me to be about holding each other up, pushing each other to achieve your goals, while also giving them the space and freedom to be themselves. Falling in love with someone is to have them teach you something about yourself, about the world. There’s a certain closeness there that I think is different from friendships, and this can come through in very subtle ways.

In terms of why some people work better as friends than lovers, I think it comes down to that level of closeness. Romantic partners tend to make more collective decisions, they work towards goals together, they may eventually want to build a life together. Yet, we all have friends that we love very dearly, but we know that if we tried to take on a task like that together we would be at each other’s throats - either because we have different goals, we think differently, or we tackle problems differently, to the point that we piss each other off. There has to be a willingness to work through problems together, things that don’t always apply even in our closest friendships.


I hope some of this helps you to make the distinction between romantic and platonic love, and to really explore romantic love in your fiction :)  If you have any more questions, be sure to let us know!

- The Mods


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask us!

I want everyone to know that this has always been Natsu’s greatest power, it is not bullshit he has had this from the very beginning of the series, the flames of emotion, it was during his fight from Erigor that we first witnessed this power, this has always been with him. So to classify it as the “nakama/friendship power up” bullshit is not right and unfair, it has always been with him, the thing is it never gets thrown at face when the villain says “is that the flames pf emotion”. Not everyone knows cause it is a lost magic, people always have to be reminded of a character’s ability or else they call bullshit which infuriates me, its one of the reasons he beat sting and rogue in the tournament, what fueled his golden flames to beat zero, what caused him to awaken his dragon force against mard geer, yes i agree fighting for his friends is his motivation but the fact of the matter is he has always had this power. Honestly i love this power which its one the reasons i love natsu. I was very satisfied with his fight with zeref and now mavis will handle the rest, Acnologia on the other hand i do not feel like hes done just yet, there are officially 10 chapters left, lets enjoy this as much as we can with a positive attitude, Fairy Tail ❤️

isnt it amusing that heteros have to read or hear with their own two eyes or own two ears that a character is gay otherwise its just some bromance or friendship or other bullshit. jessyca, if u can ship reylo and write 50k fanfics about them, u can also consider that chirrut imwe and baze malbus are married with 3 kids 

u know what interaction has Haunted me since we heard it

  • vex: [slaps percy on the ass after he starts drooling over the jewelry workshop] thinking about making a home here?
  • percy: [completely unfazed abt having his ass slapped] i’m… certainly thinking of some plans.

What Plans, Percival

I wish there were more discussion about friendship breakups and how hard they are. Romantic breakups have songs, movies, cultural weight. You can talk about breaking up with a significant other on social media and expect sympathy. Nobody talks about breaking up with friends.

I know that’s because of amatonormativity and how romantic relationships are seen as ‘more important’ than friendship. Which is bullshit. We need to talk more about the importance of friendship and how much it hurts when suddenly someone you thought you knew and trusted decides you’re no longer an important part of their life.

This obviously doesn’t just apply to arospec people. It just been on my mind a lot recently and I thought it’s something aro people could really relate to.

Petty Tips

This is for everyone that gets pissed off and wants to be mean but doesn’t wanna get caught or some shit. Hopefully these aren’t as basic as some of the other posts. But I figured it’d be useful.

  • You know those mechanical pencils everyone uses? If someone fucks with you and has one, wait until they aren’t around and take half of the lead out, then break that lead that’s left inside up until it’s smaller. The lead will break more often when they’re writing and cause them hell.
  • Everyone alks about slitting tires but that’s an easy way to get your ass caught. Instead, use a thumb tack or nail of some sort. Push it into the tire and it’ll look like they just ran it over outside. Don’t forget to only do it to three of them and use different placement and materials n shit to do it. 

  • This is for people that get cheated on, or like, even if you’re an SB or something. Just a tip. Have some extra cash or something stacked away. Be petty. Use that goddamn money to buy something expensive and look even more queen than you already were.  They’ll be in fucking flames because if they see it they’re gonna be pissed that you didn’t NEED they ass to look expensive as fuck.

  • Interrupt someones ass while they’re talking and seem oblivious to it. 

  • Set them up for spam mail :)

  • This one is mean as hell. When they’re out of the room, or not, it doesn’t matter as long as you’re slick. Just bend the closest part to the end of their phone charger a little. Keep bending and over long intervals, it’ll break unexpectedly.

  • If someoen cheats on you or something, find that girl and befriend. Then say “Hey I want you to meet my friend baby!~” And watch the look of horror that crosses their face when they watch you both walk in, smirking like you’ve just won a game of seduction. Better yet, take her for your damn self and make her yours.

  • I found out my ex had been lying to me for 5+ months. So I waited one night until he was all happy and needy for my compassion and friendship bullshit. And I just “So who’s hannah?” Do that. Oh, and it’s even better if you tell his friends and his girlfriend :)))

  • If someoen tells you, you can’t. Don’t just do it and take pictures. Go BEYOND what they did, do it in front of them, and look expensive when you do it. Jaws will drop and they will be the equivalent of a commoner at most on the scale of peasant to royalty.

  • If a girl ever fucks up, pretend to be friends with her. Slowly fo baf things to her makeup without her noticing. She’ll be wondering why her highlighter has odd color in it and why her foundation isn’t going on right while you’ll be sitting back smiling.

  • Tell them that you aren’t going to fight with them because they aren’t worth breaking your nail or messing up your hair.

  • Accidentally rub an unnocitable amount of something that stains on their clothes. Do it so that they don’t notice it until it’s too late and they think it’s them. 

  • Bless the fuck out of everyone around him except for him. Watch him burn.

  • Call his damn grandmother. Grandmamas will lecture him for 3+ hours on respecting women, invite you over for cookies, and swatt the fuck out of him with a goddamn wooden spoon while complimenting you.

  • Slowly start sneaking little bits of glitter into the bottom of their shoes..etc. Watch them crumble into a mess while drowning in a house full of glirtter they cant get up lmao.

  • Put a beef cube in the top of their shower head. They are going to smell like beef. They best hope they had their eyes closed :)

stress