friendship and other things for

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Key: If I am anxious about something personal, I keep it to myself until I see Minho and the words just fly out of my mouth before I even notice. He doesn’t tell me what to do but instead he just hugs me and tells me that he’ll be there if I ever need him. Because of his words, I will always feel a little better after I talk to him. 

Some Basic Friendship Skills

Dos

1. Talk about things that interest others, and not just things that interest you.

2. Share the conversation. Don’t talk over others, interrupt others, or seek to be the centre of attention.

3. Be interested in what other people have to say. Ask open questions, and try to find out more.

4. Notice when people do well, and make the effort to praise them for it. Try to be an affirming, and encouraging, friend.

5. Be respectful, considerate and polite. Be sensitive to the feelings of others.

6. Think before you speak. (Sometimes it’s better to say nothing than to speak your mind and upset or offend).

7. Learn how to ask for what you want and need in a non-threatening, and non-defensive way. Don’t react; and don’t pick needless arguments.

8. Try to understand the perspective of others – and don’t just assume that you are right and they are wrong.

9. Look out for others – and be a trusted friend

10. Back off, don’t dominate, and give your friends some space.

Don’ts

1. Don’t brag about what you’ve done or what you’ve got.

2. Don’t put others down.

3. Don’t judge and stereotype people.

4. Don’t take over the conversation. Let others tell their jokes, and have their say.

5. Don’t try to control other people, or to make them do what you want them to do.

6. Don’t talk, or gossip, about others.

7. Don’t make jokes at others’ expense.

8. Don’t demand perfection – allow your friends to be human, and to sometimes make mistakes.

9. Don’t be sensitive and quick to take offense.

10. Don’t be mean or stab others in the back.

What people think bpd people are saying: You can’t complain about things that I do because of bpd. Having boundaries is ableist.

What we’re actually saying: In any long term friendship or other relationship people forgive and let go of all sorts of things. Everybody has a line of how far and how often but no relationships is ever totally pure. One of the big ways people decide what they’re willing to forgive is by how “understandable” the mistake is.

It’s that “understandable” part that has an ableist double standard. We want you to understand so you can find things “understandable.” We’re just trying to get to the point where “sorry, I was splitting because something poked at my insecurities” is considered at least as good an excuse as “sorry, I’m cranky because I was stuck in traffic today.”

I hope Viktor and Yuri’s sudden separation is a plot device for the friendship between the Yuris and Yuri realizing some things by talking with other figure skaters. Even how Viktor’s absence affects him professionally. Is he as good without Viktor looking at him? (see how Yuri felt discouraged because his grandpa wasn’t there to watch him and fell)

What I’m saying is… it better be plot related about figure skating and they don’t kill off Makkachin.

A Love Letter

For all its shortcomings towards the end of its run, xxxHOLiC still holds a special place in my heart.

If you’re not familiar with it, xxxHOLiC is a manga series written and illustrated by CLAMP, a prolific, all-female group of Japanese manga artists who have been creating since the mid-eighties. (Their body of work includes classics such as Magic Knight Rayearth, Angelic Layer, Cardcaptor Sakura, and Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle.)

The story follows Watanuki Kimihiro, a high school student who strikes a deal with a witch. If he becomes her assistant, she’ll take away the power that leaves him plagued with visions of ghosts and monsters. But because it’s such a big wish, he’ll have to work for her for…a while. Maybe forever. So he becomes the witch’s cook, maid, and errand-boy, all wrapped up in one.

Although it runs parallel to and intersects with other CLAMP stories, xxxHOLiC stands fully on its own as a horror story about desire and addiction. The series consists of short arcs and one-shots, each centering on a particular customer – both average humans and fantastic spirits. Like Watanuki, each has a wish. Like Watanuki, each must pay a price. Sometimes the cost is as simple as a lock of hair, but other times it wreaks catastrophe on the rest of their life. Thus each customer’s story becomes an exploration of different aspects of desire – addiction to social media, academic ambitions, the desire to see a loved one again – and the effects it can have on one’s life.  

There are many lovely things about this manga: the gorgeous art style, Watanuki’s temper tantrums, the pervasive creepiness.  But the best part is the witch, Yuuko. Not only is she a total troll with a wicked sense of style, she is constantly dropping truth bombs:

Yuuko and xxxHOLiC were hella formative for me.

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moodboard: jill pole

“I was going to say I wished we’d never come. But I don’t, I don’t, I don’t. Even if we are killed. I’d rather be killed fighting for Narnia than grow old and stupid at home and perhaps go about in a bath-chair and then die in the end just the same.”

Suit meanings (short description)

Hearts ♥️- Happiness and emotions. This is an easy one because hearts represent love and could signal relationships. But some are warning cards due to emotions or relationships

Clubs ♣️- Work, money, and social interactions. Clubs usually represent things going on at work (or school) and signifies maybe a gain or in some cases, loss of money.

Diamonds ♦️- Success and energy. The work place, and a lot of the time associated with imagination. Gains in money, or maybe in friendships. Positive things in general.

Spades ♠️- Negative emotions, or other negative things. Can mean fear, doubt, worry, loss, or misfortune. Generally not good.

Friends to Lovers AUs

Imagine your OTP… 

  • Are childhood friends and while they grow up, they discover that they have feelings for each other. 
  • Decide to start dating instead of being friends.
  • Hiding their feelings for each other because they both don’t want to ruin their friendship. 
  • Are caught doing things couples usually do. 
  • Avoiding each other because character A told character B their feelings for them. 
  • Became friends because they had a crush on the same person but started to like each other instead. 
  • Notice that they are going on dates instead of simply hanging out.
  • Accidentally going on a double date. 
  • Character B starts to date someone else and character A starts to feel lonely without their friend. 
  • Behaving awkwardly around each other because they found out that they like each other and they both want to keep it a secret.

Real Talk:

I seriously wish more action movies had their main couples’ relationships develop like FinnRey’s

tbh i’m all for platonic dan and phil never really getting into dating or having interests in relationships and so maybe they just continue to live together for a few more years (maybe even move somewhere where they can have a dog) and just continuing their careers and furthering their success as a duo and maybe when they’re grazing the boundaries of old age they settle down somewhere quieter and tweet or post videos every now and then about how they’re doing so fans can still feel connected and included in their lives and BELIEVE ME romance isn’t even a necessity to see how much they love each other and I’m just all for phan living life to the absolute fullest alongside their best friend okay