friends who buy you food are

taz modern college au headcanons where also they all live in seattle

(aka my extremely niche au that only appeals to me)

  • The Plot Here: the IPRE crew is a ragtag group of friends at college (probably UW? definitely UW)
  • John is an RA who’s trying to End All Campus Parties
  • The IPRE crew is constantly trying to throw epic parties and have a good time at them before John comes and shuts them down
  • The Light of Creation is one of these things
  • The crew and John are locked in a constant battle where John crashes their parties and steals it if they don’t hide it fast enough and then they have to sneak into his dorm to steal it back
  • Ango is also there he’s like a high schooler who got early acceptance into college
  • The crew adopts him accidentally
  • IPRE Robes = matching red snuggies that Barry made for the final project in that sewing class he took as an elective one year
  • garfield is a really weird weed dealer. what is he even majoring in?? does he even go here?? nobody knows but he has a weird little shop set up in a closet nobody uses anymore

more headcanons about everyone:

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If you are young and lost - things I’ve learned so far in college:

1. Do not go looking for validation of your beauty or self-worth from a boy. If you do not already believe in your own worthiness, it can only be dangerous to try to find it from someone else.
2. No one is going to look at you and see all the flaws that are constantly running through your head.
3. Don’t ever regret trying. For once, don’t be the fearful one. Someone needs to be the fearless one. Let it be you.
4. Always be as confident as you are on your good days.
5. Remind yourself that you do have good days. When a good day happens, be grateful and don’t forget it.
6. Forming relationships with people will help you grow and learn. No matter what kind of relationships or how they come to be or end.
7. You are better than you used to be, and you should be proud of yourself.
8. Talking about it with a friend will make you feel better.
9. You are important. You can’t let yourself forget that. You’ve suffered for too long doubting that you were important.
10. There are things that make you love life. When the weather is nice, when someone tells you that you are good at something, when you choose to socialize, when you get a good grade, when you try a new food, when you discover a new song.
11. Compliment people. It will make them happy, and it will also make you happy.
12. Nobody is perfect. Everyone has their insecurities. Fake it till you make it. Fake that you have confidence until you actually do have confidence.
13. Don’t be disappointed if someone doesn’t like you like you were hoping. There are/will be people who do like you a tremendous amount.
14. Don’t be so focused on appearances, but do have the confidence that you are not ugly.
15. There’s no point in comparing yourself to another girl, especially if you don’t know her.
16. Don’t take your friends for granted.
17. Don’t regret staying up late with friends, even if you have school or work the next morning. These nights make college memorable.
18. The less you eat processed foods, the happier you will be. Buy natural foods and cook them yourself.
19. There are people who love you, so why is it that hard for you to love yourself?
20. Always make eye contact and watch your body language.
21. Picking at your skin when you’re stressed about something else is a stress reliever at the moment but you will ALWAYS regret it right after.
22. Don’t let other people ruin your favorite songs.
23. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying meaningless sex. But be prepared for the nights you find yourself feeling unfulfilled and wondering if you don’t deserve more.
24. Sometimes in life you have to hurt someone. But always put yourself first above any boy.

—  screwful 
history of the entire world, i guess; a transcript

hi. you’re on a rock, floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it’s water. fuck it, actually most of it’s water. i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you. how did this happen? a long time ago, actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn’t happen. nothing was never anywhere. that’s why its been everywhere. it’s been so everywhere, you don’t need a “where”. you don’t even need a “when”. that’s how “every” it gets. (pause). forget this. i wanna be something, go somewhere, do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it’s possible because everything is here and it probably already happened. i just don’t know when to start. and that’s exactly where it started. (background noise) woah. i… paused it. i think there’s a universe now. what’s it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that’s a thing, in a place. don’t like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it’s not empty yet. it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees. (about no seconds later). great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three called a “proton” or a “neutron”. and there’s something else flying around too that wants to join in but can’t cause it’s still to (HOT). (about ten minutes later). great news! the protons and the neutrons are now happily married to each other (some of them even doubled up). (about 380,000 years later). great news, the electrons have now joined in. congratulations, the world is now a bunch of gas in space. but it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together. it’s a staaaar. new shit just got made. some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit. space dust! which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into even crazier space dust. so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example. holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks, and it kinda made a mess. which is now the moon. weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space. weather update: those rocks might’ve had water inside them and now there’s Hot Steam in the sky. weather update: cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava. weather update: its raining. severe flooding alert: the entire world is now an ocean. volcano alert: that’s land. there’slifeintheocean. what? something’s alive in the ocean. oh cool, like a plant or an animal? no. a microscopic speck! it lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup which is being served hot and fresh made from gnarly space ingredients leftover from when it was raining rocks or whatever. oh yeah, and it can do that. it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that’s pretty nifty, i would say. tired of living at the bottom of the ocean? now you can eat sunlight. using a revolutionary technique you can convert sunlight into food. taste the sun. side effect: now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky’s blue. then the earth might’ve been a snowball for a while, maybe even a coupla times. it’s a sponge, it’s a plant, it’s a worm and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish. it’s the Cambrian explosion. “wow, that’s animals and stuff.” but we’re still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land? NoO. why? the sun is a deadly lazer. oh okay. not anymore there’s a blanket. now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let’s go on land! “nope, can’t walk yet. and there’s no food yet so i don’t care.” (100 million years later) ok, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here? “maybe,” said some bugs, and fish. “uh. uh. uh.” (five million years later) “ok so i can go on land but i have to go back in the water to have babies.” (idea) learn to use an egg. “i was already doing that.” use a stronger egg, and put water in it, have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg, baby, in the water, in the egg. works for me. bye bye ocean. aaand now everything is huge. including bugs. wanna see a map of the land? sure. ah fuck, now everything’s dead. just kidding here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one because its about to become the dinosaurs. here’s another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart, don’t worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor. and the dinosaurs are gone. its mammal time! here come the mammals. look at those breasts. now they’re gonna dominate the world, and one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like ‘that’. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make… pointed rocks. “ouch.” and set things on fire. “yeouch.” and make crazy sounds with their voice (“gneurshk.”) which can mean different things. that’s a human person. and now they’re everywhere, almost. ice age. what? you can walk over here? cool. not anymore. i guess we’re stuck here now.

let’s review. there’s people on the planet. and they’re chasing their food. fuck it, time to plant some grass. look at this, i control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let’s all build houses except mine is bigger because i own the food. this is great, i wonder if anyone else is doing this. tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it’s underground. better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping. guess what happens next. more food, and more people who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in, and people to make the houses. and now there’s more people and they invent things, which makes things better and more people come. and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people. and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power. sociiiety. coming soon to a dank river valley near you. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed. why is all my metal so lame and lumpy? tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing bronze, made with special ingredient tin from the far lands of tin land. i don’t know, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it. also, guess what - egypt. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we’re getting somewhere. also, china. and did i mention indusrivervalleycivilization. norte chico. the middle east is getting more complicated, maybe because it’s in the middle of the east. knock knock- er, clop clop, it’s the people with the horses? and they made an empire! and then everyone else copied their horses. greeks! ah look, it must be the greeks, or a beta version of the greeks. let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization. they’re gone. guess who’s not gone? china. new arrivals in india. maybe it’s thosehorsepeopleiwastalkingabout or theircousinsorsomething. and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff. you could make a religion out of this. there’s the bronze age collapse. now the phoenicians can get down to business. also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find? thanks. look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel. and they believe in god. just one though, he’s got like a ten step program. here’s some huge heads, must be the olmec. the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies. here comes the assyrian empire. nevermind it’s the babylonian- median- it’s the persian empire. “wow, that’s big.” ah, the buddha was just enlightened! who’s the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying. you could make a religion out of this. oops, china just broke, but while it was breaking confucius was figuring out how to have good morals. ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff. and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it’s a great idea, he was…great. and now he’s dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them. knock knock, it’s chandragupta, he says, “get the hell out of here, will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? ok thanks bye; time to conquer all of india- or most of india”. but what about this part? that’s the tamil kings, no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they’ve got spices. who would like to buy the spices? “me,” said the arabians, swiftly buying them and selling them to the rest of the world. hey, china put itself back together again with good morals as their main philosophy. actually they have three main philosophies. out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city. let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload! “bye,” said the parthians, “bye,” said the jews. “hi,” said the parthians, taking over the entire place. “heyyyyyyyy,” said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. “thanks for invading our homeland,” said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland. “hi, everything’s great,” said some guy who seems to be getting very popular, and then gets arrested and killed for being too popular, which only makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this. want silk? now you can buy it from china! they just made a brand new road to the world…or you can get there on water. “sick, new trade routes,” said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast. hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom. there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again. “remember the persian empire? yup,” said the persians, making a new one. axum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick. has anyone populated madagascar yet? let’s do it together. china is whole again…then it broke again. still can’t cross the sahara desert? try camels. “hell yeah, now we’ve got business,” said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold, and slaves. “hi i live in the roman empire and i was wondering, is loving jesus legal yet?” “no” “actually ok sure,” said constantine, moving the capitol way over here to be closer to his main rival. don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall. it’s the golden age of india. there’s the gupta empire. not chandragupta, just gupta, first name chandra, the first. guess who’s in rome? barbarians. what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. or actually, just half is just fine. but it’s not in rome anymore so let’s give it a new name. the mayans have figured out the staaars. oh, and here’s a huge city, population everyone. the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks. how’s india? broken. how’s china? back together. how’s those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there’s more of them. korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.

deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad’s ear, so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods, and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this. and maybe conquer the world as well. the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus there’s new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there’s room for moors. here’s all the wisdom, in a house. it’s the baghdad house of wisdom, just in time for the islamic golden age. “let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast,” said the swahili on the swahili coast. remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now. wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere? the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. “surprise, you’re the new roman emperor,” said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france. the northerners, or just norse if you don’t have that much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north, and they find some land. two types of land, and they name them accordingly. they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as vikings. there’s the rus, the kievan rus. are they vikings? “i don’t think so,” said the kievan rus. ok, fair enough. the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire, the holy roman empire. it’s actually germany but don’t worry about it. new kingdoms! christianizeallthekingdoms. which brand would you like? “mine’s better,” “mine’s better,” “mine’s better”. “time to conquer england,” said william. it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s the seljuk turks. “ahh!” said the byzantine empire, who’s getting so small it almost doesn’t exist anymore, “we need help!” they need help, so they call the pope. “hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you wanna take back the holy land.” “yes, i do actually want to do that. let’s do a crusade.” crusade. they did many crusades, some of which almost didn’t fail, but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals. goodbye mayans. hello toltecs, goodbye toltecs, hello mississippi. look at those mounds. there’s the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff. guess who’s here? khmer. where? here, and pagan is there, and vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government. china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis. i bet that will last a long time! some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india. is it tonga time? i think it’s tonga time. i just found out where the swahili gets all their gold. look at this chad (means lake), there’s an empire there, right in the middle of africa. the king of mali is so rich he’s going on tour to let everyone know. “wow, that guy’s rich,” everyone said. the christians are doing a great job of conquering iberia which will soon be called spain and not spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you are still christian when you least expect. whoops, half of europe just died. ming. china’s back, yay. hey khmer, time to share, new kingdoms here and there. oh look who controls all the islands, its the mahajapit. majahapit, mapajahit, mahapajit, mapajahit, majapahit? oh, italy’s really rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it’s kinda like a rebirth. here’s a printer, lets make books. so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? “yep,” said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. whoops, you missed a spot; don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade. “what? that’s bullshit,” said portugal, spiceless. well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india. “wait,” said christopher colombus, probably smoking crack, “if the world is round, lets go this way to india!” “nah, don’t worry we already got this,” said portugal. so chris goes to spain. “hey spain, wanna hire me to go find india by going around back of the world?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.” “please?” “ok.” so he sails into the ocean, and discovers more ocean, and then discovers ‘the indies’ and ‘japan’. let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world. the aztec and inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent. the habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families they might have to start marrying each other. move over lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again. move over timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again. let’s make it the other kind of islam, the one where we thought the first guy should’ve been the other guy. hey christians, do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell. “that’s bullshit, this whole thing is bullshit, that’s a scam, fuck the church, here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther, in his book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation. “you know what would be magnificent?” said suleiman, wearing an onion hat, “what if the ottoman empire was really big, which it is now.”  “what if russia was big,” said ivan, trying not to be terrible. portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade, and then that dream was real. and spain realised that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. “damn,” said england and france, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” then the dutch revolt and all the hipsters move to amsterdam. “damn,” said amsterdam, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” question one: can you get to india through north america? no, but at least there’s beaver. question two: steal the spice trade. that’s not a question but the dutch did it anyway. sugar. guess where all the sugar’s made? in brazil. stolen! in the carribean, and it’s so goddamn profitable you might forget to not do slavery. the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger. britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world, more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss? yes they did, it’s britain. guess who’s broke? also britain. so they start taxing the hell out of america.

“fuck you,” says america, declaring their independence, and fighting for it. france helps them win, now france is broke. and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent. wait if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses? “let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off. you could make a reli- no don’t. haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. “why didn’t we think of this before?” wait, who’s in charge of france now? “me,” said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back. luckily, they banished him to another island. there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin america wars of independence. britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains, and conquer india and maybe put some trains there. “hey china,” said britain, “buy stuff from us.” “nah, dude we already got everything,” says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked actually, but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy-fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island. britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering afganistan. also the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now, that’s just where he lives. india had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. “nope,” said britain, governing them even harder than before. technology is about to go crazy. the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. “it’s bad,” they decided. and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land, and maybe kick out the mexicans too. “i know, let’s rape africa,” said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia.  britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand. the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more. hawaii. cuba. wait spain controls cuba. “well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on them? let’s blame the maine on spain!” so they blame the maine on spain. now we’re in business. to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans. britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go. china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government. europe hasn’t had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns. it’s gonna be a great war, so great we won’t need a second one. after it’s over, they blame germany. russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government. now everyone’s paycheck is the same. communism, in the soviet union. the arabs revolt, and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won’t mind. “let’s cut the cake,” said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore empire. except turkey, turkey makes a brand new turkey. and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do. hello? yes, it’s the 1920s calling. let’s get in a car and drive to a party and listen to the jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy’s great and it’ll probably be great forever. just kidding. germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model. he’s mad at the jews for existing. japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it. hitler’s out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all the jews is a bad idea, but he kills himself before they could explain it to him. that’s world war two. bonus round: pacific showdown, united states versus japan. fight! finish him. let’s unite all the nations and have some world peace. seems legit. “hi i’m gandhi and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india i’m going to starve myself in public. wow, that worked?” bonus: now there’s pakistan. actually two pakistans. one of them can be bangladesh later. the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. “me”, they both said at the same time. “let’s divide up the land so everyone’s happy.” sike! they both get angrier. look out china, there’s a new china in china. what’s on the menu? communism! “no thanks,” said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china. there’s the korean war, korea versus korea, nobody wins, then it’s on pause forever. let’s meet the sponsors. oh, it’s the two global superpowers. they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. fight! wait no that would be the end of the world. let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs. “i’ll race you to space. now let’s make some more countries fight themselves.” europe is tired of pillaging other continents, so the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here’s a new map, with new countries. now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by. the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it. let’s check the world population. woah. okay. technology’s better too, that might keep happening. the soviet union decides to relax a little and accidentally falls apart. europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money; except britain because they don’t feel like it. let’s check the mail. surprise! it’s on the computer! whoops, someone just attacked america, i bet they’ll remember that. phone call, surprise, it’s in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise, it’s on the computer! now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket. whoops, the economy just crashed. don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail, because they’re not supposed to. surprise, flying robots! with bombs. wanna print a brain? some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic. “let’s save the planet,” said everybody, not knowing how. “let’s invent a thing inventor,” said the thing inventor inventor, after being invented by a thing inventor. that’s pretty cool. by the way, where the hell are we?

Snacks and Roses || Peter Parker Imagine

Paring: Peter Parker x reader

Word Count: 1607

Request: nah homie

A/N: i didn’t proof read it, I’m sorry. And sorry if you’re allergic to roses

Originally posted by fuckyeahtonystark

Y/N sat with Liz in the lunchroom , hearing their friends talking about Spider-Man once again. “He brings hope to the city. It’s like, we know that someone is looking out for us.” One of them said. Y/N thought about all the things the man has done for the city. I wonder if his life is good, if he’s happy in his real life, Y/N thought.

The topic was quickly changed when an announcement for Homecoming was made over the blaring intercom. “Students, don’t forget to buy your tickets for Homecoming next Friday.” The voice boomed, making all of the students start talking about the event.

Liz turned to Y/N, “So,” she said taking a bite from her food, “who are you going to the dance with?” All of their friends tuned in to what the two girls were saying.

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. She wanted to go with Peter Parker, the smartest kid at Midtown High, if she went in the first place. Homecoming is going to be crowded and loud, with a bunch of annoying kids. Y/N didn’t want that. “I don’t think I’m going, actually. I’m probably gonna spend my night watching TV or something.” Y/N said, shaking her head like it was nothing.

“But Y/N,” one of her friends said enthusiastically, “You have to go! Peter is probably going, you should too!” She nodded her head behind Y/N. Y/N looked behind her to see Peter and Ned eating their lunch a few tables away. But he’s going to be dancing and hanging out with a girl that isn’t me, she thought.

Y/N smiled, “As much as I would love to go with him, it’s not gonna happen. He’s probably taking a super pretty girl with him and he’ll have a blast. Just,” she trailed off, starting to get quieter,“just not with me.” Y/N sighed, slumping her shoulders. Liz looked over at her giving her a sympathetic smile. “If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to. It would be nice if you went though.”

Y/N returned the smile, “Thanks for understanding Liz.” Liz nodded her head, “Anytime.” She gave her attention back to her friends to hear the rest of their thoughts.

Peter Parker sat a few tables away, having the same conversation that Y/N was having. “Are you going to ask her to Homecoming?” Ned asked Peter looked at his friend as if he was crazy. “W-What? No. Never. I can barely form a sentence around her, let alone ask her out.” Peter said as he gazed down at his lap. He looked back up to her, admiring her from behind. Y/N turned around and Peter quickly looked away and muttered “Oh God.”

Ned looked confused at the teenager. Peter’s face was beet red, “I think she saw me. Oh God,oh God, she saw me staring at her man.”

Ned looked over at the girl who was now facing her friends talking. “I don’t think she did. Just breathe, she probably didn’t see. I mean you turned your head so fast that you might have whiplash.” He chuckled. Peter sighed, “Maybe you’re right.”

“Right about what?” Michelle asked as she reached the table with the two boys.

“Well, I asked Peter if he was asking Y/N to the dance and he started staring at her. She turned around and might’ve caught him.” Ned explained to the Michelle as she sat down. Peter hit Ned’s shoulder with the back of his hand, “Dude. Seriously?”

“What?” Ned asked, completely clueless at Peter’s new beacon of embarrassment. Before their bickering cold continue, Michelle started talking. “Actually, while I was walking over here, I heard that she wasn’t going. And I might’ve heard,” she stated trying to be dramatic, “that she was super bummed out that you were probably going with a different girl that isn’t her.”

Peter sat shocked. “You’re lying.” He said. There is no way that the girl he has had a crush on for years, is into him. Him of all people.

“I wouldn’t lie about true love, Parker.” Michelle replied, kind of mockingly.

“How are you going to ask her?” Ned asked. Peter was messing with the cuffs of her sleeves. “I-I don’t think I will.”

Ned looked shocked. “You have to. You finally have a chance to be with her.” Peter looked around, “I’m too scared. Besides, she said she didn’t want to go and I respect that.”

“Your loss,” Michelle said opening one of her books.

It was the Friday night of Homecoming and Y/N sat on her couch surrounded by her fluffy blankets, with a show paused on the TV screen and a water bottle in hand. She was on her phone talking to Liz, giving some advice for her outfit. “Should I wear the silver earrings I got for my birthday?” Liz asked. “Yeah, they match your dress very well.” Y/N replied, taking a sip of her drink.

“Y/N are you sure you don’t want to go? I might have an extra dress.” Liz asked, she didn’t want her friend to be alone while everyone else was having a blast.

“Yeah I’m sure. I’m fine with my TV shows and blankets. Go have fun!” Y/N stated, assuring the girl that everything would be fine. “You sure?” Liz asked, wanting to make sure her friend was okay.

“100%.” Y/N replied with a smile on her fave that she knew Liz couldn’t see. “Alright, I have to go. My date is here. If you need anything call me.” Liz said, while Y/N heard shuffling in the background. “See you later Ms. Allen.” Y/N said chuckling to herself. “You too.”

Y/N sat on the cuddled into her blankets as she clicked play on her TV remote. As soon as the show started, there was knock on the front door. Y/N was confused, was it Liz? She got up to answer the door.

Y/N opened the door, do just her body was seen. She was greeted with the smiling yet nervous face of Peter Parker, holding a bouquet of red roses with a backpack on his back and a couple grocery bags filled with chips, candy and other snacks. Y/N stood in front of him, lips parted slightly.

“P-Peter. What are you doing here?” She asked with wide eyes. Peter glanced down at his old shoes. “I heard that you were, uh,” he looked back up at her, “I heard you were spending the night in on-on Homecoming so, I wanted to join you. If that’s okay.” He stammered biting his bottom lip.

Y/N smiled widely, opening the door all the way. “Come on in.” If it was anyone else at the door, she would’ve probably made up an excuse. But it wasn’t anyone else, it was her crush. Peter smiled back. He walked through the door, waiting for her to indicate where he could go.

Y/N shut the door and moved to face him. Peter looked at the flowers in his hand, “These are f-for you.” He handed you the flowers.

The girl smiled, “Thanks Pete.” She called me Pete, was all he could think about as Y/N went to put the flowers in a vase. She quickly came back after putting the vase in a good spot.

“You can sit down Peter.” Y/N said as he followed her to the couch.

“Seems like you were having a real party, huh?” Peter said sarcastically with a small smile on his lips, seeing the TV and her blankets. “What gave it away?” Y/N replied back with the same amount of sarcasm.

“I brought food.” Peter emptied out the two grocery bags with the snacks onto the couch between the two of them. Y/N smiled. Tonight was going to be fun.

Peter turned and looked at the clock to see it was one in the morning. All night was spent with him and Y/N getting to know each other,cracking jokes, and watching bad late night TV shows. It was like they had known each other for their entire lives. She fell asleep a while ago, her head resting on Peter’s chest, with a blanket wrapped securely around the pair. He sat there, playing with her hair, glad that he skipped Homecoming. Peter sighed contently, looking back up at the TV which now had the news on. A robbery at fifth and third. “Shit,” he muttered, moving Y/N off of his chest and onto the couch.

He dashed out her front door with only his backpack in hand, with his Spider-Man suit inside.

Y/N woke up 10 the next morning still on the couch, with all the snacks from last night littering the floor. It was fun hanging out with Peter. She was kind of happy that she didn’t spend Homecoming alone. She searched for her phone to check the time. Once she found the device she saw a text from Peter.

Hey, sorry I had to leave. My Aunt called me and said that I had to go back home. Maybe we can do this again sometime at my place?

Y/N smiled at the text. Maybe I can get the guy of my dreams, she thought as she typed a reply.

Yeah, that’d be awesome.

psychic: reads my mind
me: hi, you’re on a rock floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it’s water. fuck it. actually, most of it’s water. i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
a long time ago… actually, never. and also now. nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn’t happen. nothing was never anywhere. that’s why it’s been everywhere. it’s been so “everywhere,” you don’t need a “where.” you don’t even need a “when.” that’s how “every” it gets.
forget this. i wanna be something. go somewhere. do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it’s possible because everything is here, and it probably already happened. i just don’t know when to start.
and that’s exactly where it started.
big bang— pause
woah. i paused it. i think there’s a universe now. what’s it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that’s a thing! in a place! don’t like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together, because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it’s not empty yet! it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees.
about no seconds later
great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three, called a “proton” and a “neutron.” and there’s something else flying around that wants to join in, but can’t cause it’s too HOT.
ten minutes later
great news! the protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other! some of them even doubled up.
about 380,000 years later
great news! the electrons have now joined in. congratulations! the world is now… a bunch of gas in space. but it’s getting closer together…
ten million years later
and it’s getting closer together…
500 million years later
and it’s getting closer togeth—
star is born
it’s a star
new shit just got made!
some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit.
space dust!
which allows for newer and more interesting stars to be made, and then die and explode into even crazier space dust!
so now, stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example.
meteor hits earth
holy shit, we just got hit by another ball of flaming rocks. and it kind of… made a mess. which is now the moon
weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space.
weather update: those rocks might’ve had water inside of them and now there’s hot steam in the sky.
weather update: cooler temperatures today and the floor is no longer lava.
weather update… it’s raining.
severe flooding alert, the entire world is now an ocean.
volcano alert.
that’s land!
there'slifeintheocean
what?
something’s alive in the ocean
oh, cool. like a plant, or an animal? no! a microscopic speck. it lives in the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup, which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever.
microscopic speck asexually reproduces
oh yeah, and it can do that.
reproduces three more times
it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that’s pretty nifty, i would say.
tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?
now you can eat sunlight!
using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food.
taste the sun!
side effect, now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky is blue.
then the earth might’ve been a snowball for a while. maybe even a couple of times.
it’s a sponge… it’s a plant… it’s a worm, and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish.
it’s the Cambrian explosion: “wow, that’s animals and stuff”
but we’re still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land?
NO
why?
the sun is a deadly laser
oh okay.
not anymore, there’s a blanket
now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let’s go on land!
“nope, can’t walk yet.”
“and there’s no food yet, so i don’t care.”
100 million years later
okay, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here?
“maybe,” said some bugs. and fish.
fish gasps for air
five million years later
okay, so i can go on land, but i have to go back in the water to have babies!
idea: learn to use an egg.
“i was already doing that”
use a stronger egg. put water in it. have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg. baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg.
works for me. bye bye ocean
50 million years later
and now everything’s huge. including bugs.
wanna see a map of the land? sure.
Permian extinction
oh, fuck, now everything’s dead.
just kidding, here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one, because it’s about to become
75 million years later
the dinosaurs.
here’s another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart. don’t worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor.
meteor strikes
and the dinosaurs are gone
it’s mammal time, here come the mammals. look at those breasts.
now they’re gonna dominate the world, but one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like that. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make pointed rocks.
“ouch”
and set things on fire.
“yeouch”
and make crazy sounds with their voice:
“gneurshk”
which can mean different things.
that’s a human person!
and now they’re everywhere. almost.
ice age!
what? you can walk over here? cool.
not anymore
well i guess we’re stuck here now.
let’s review: there’s people on the planet. and they’re chasing their food.
fuck it. time to plant some grass.
look at this. i get to control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let’s all build houses, except mine is bigger because i own the food.
this is great! i wonder if anyone else is doing this.
tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it’s underground.
better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping.
guess what happens next?
more food. and more people, who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in and people to make the houses and now there’s more people and they invent things which makes things better and more people come and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power,
Society
coming soon to a dank river valley near you.
meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed.
why is all my metal so lame and lumpy?
tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing: bronze. made from special ingredient tin from the far lands of Tin Land. i dunno, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it. also, guess what?
egypt
meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we’re getting somewhere. also,
china
and did i mention
indus river valley civilization
society count: 5

norte chico
the middle east is getting more complicated. maybe because it’s in the middle of the east.
knock knock, er, clop clop. it’s the… people with the horses? and they made an empire. and then everyone else copied their horses.
greeks!
ah look, it must be the greeks! er, a beta version of the greeks.
let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization: they’re gone. guess who’s not gone? china.
new arrivals from india… maybe it’s those horse people i was talking about… or their cousins or something…
and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff…
you could make a religion out of this.
there’s the bronze age collapse.
now the phoenicians can get down to business
also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find? thanks.
look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel.
and they believe in God
just one though, and he’s got like a ten-step program.
here’s some huge heads. must be the olmecs.
the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies.
here comes the assyrian empire. never mind, it’s the babyloni— media—
it’s the Persian Empire: “wow, that’s big”
enlightenment
ah, the buddha was just enlightened. who’s the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying. you could make a religion out of this.
oops, china just broke. but while it was breaking, confucius was figuring out how to have good morals.
enlightenment
ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff.
and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it’s a great idea. he was… great. and now he’s dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them.
knock knock, it’s chandragupta. he says “get the hell out of here. will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? okay, thanks, bye”
time to conquer all of india
er
most of india
but what about this part? that’s the tamil kings. no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they’ve gotspices!
who would like to buy the spices? “me!” said the arabians, swiftly buying it and selling it to the rest of the world.
hey, china put itself back together again, with good morals as their main philosophy. actually, they have three main philosophies:
confucianism: have good morals
taoism: go with the flow
legalism: fuck you, obey the law
out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city.
nomads ransack china
let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload.bye, said the parthians. bye, said the jews. hi, said the parthians, taking over the entire place.
heyyyyy, said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. “thanks for invading our homeland,” said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland.
“hi, everything’s great,” said some guy who seems to be getting very popular and is then arrested and killed for being too popular, which actually makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this.
want silk? now you can buy it from china. they just made a brand new road to the world.
conquers vietnam
or you can get there on water
“sick! new trade routes!” said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast.
hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom.
there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again.
remember the persian empire? yep, said the persians, making a new one.
axum is getting so powerful, they would like to build a long stick.
has anyone populated madagascar yet? let’s do it together.
china is whole again…
…then it broke again
still can’t cross the sahara desert? try camels.
“hell yeah! now we’ve got business,” said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold. and slaves.
“hi, i’m a member of the roman empire, and i was wondering
is loving jesus legal yet?”
“no”
“actually, okay sure,” said constantine, moving the capital way over here to be closer to his main rival. don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall.
it’s the golden age of india
there’s the gupta empire, not chandragupta, just gupta. first name chandra. the first.
guess who’s in rome? barbarians. what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. actually just half of it, the other half is just fine, but it’s not in rome anymore, so let’s give it a new name.
the mayans have figured out the stars
oh, and here’s a huge city, population: everyone.
the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks.
how’s india? broken. how’s china? back together.
how’s those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there’s more of them.
korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.
intermission
deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad’s ear. so, he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this, and maybe conquer the world as well.
the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus, there’s new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there’s room for moors.
here’s all the wisdom. in a house. it’s the baghdad house of wisdom! just in time for the islamic golden age!
“let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast,” said the swahili on the swahili coast.
remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now.
wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?
the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. “surprise! you’re the new roman emporer!” said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not-france.
the northerners, er, just “norse” if you don’t have much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north. and they find some land— two types of land!— and they name them accordingly.
prankd
they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as “vikings.”
there’s the rus! the kievan rus! are they vikings? “i don’t think so,” said the kievan rus. okay, fair enough.
the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire. the holy roman empire! it’s actually germany, but don’t worry about it. new kingdoms—
CRISTIANIZE ALL THE KINGDOMS!!
which brand would you like?
“mine’s better”
“mine’s better”
“mine’s better”
“time to conquer england,” said william.
it’s a bird! it’s a plane! it’s the seljuk turks!
“aah!” said the byzantine empire, who’s getting so small and almost doesn’t exist anymore. “we need help!” they need help! so they call the pope.
“hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you want to take back the holy land.”
“yes, i do actually want to do that. let’s do a crusade.”
crusade!
they did many crusades. some of which almost didn’t fail. but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals.
goodbye mayans. hello toltecs! goodbye toltecs. hello mississippi! look at those mounds.
there’s the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff.
guess who’s here? khmer. where? here! and pagan is there. vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government.
china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis! i bet that will last a long time.
some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india.
is it tonga time? i think it’s tonga time.
i just figured out where the swahili gets all of their gold.
look at this chad! it means “lake.” there’s an empire there! right in the middle of africa!
the king of mali is so rich, he’s going on tour to let everyone know. “wow, that guy’s rich,” everyone said.
the christians are doing a great job reconquering iberia, which will soon be called spain and not-spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you’re still christian when you least expect.
whoops, half of europe just died.
ming! china’s back, yay!
hey, khmer. time to share. new kingdoms, here and there.
oh, look who controls all of the islands. it’s the mahajapit.
majahapit.
mapajahit.
mahapajit.
mapajahit.
ma-ja-pa-hit?
oh, italy’s real rich. time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it’s kinda like a rebirth.
here’s a printer. let’s make books!
so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? yep, said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. oops, you missed a spot. don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade.
“what? that’s bullshit,” said portugal, spiceless.
“well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india”
“wait!” said christopher columbus, probably smoking crack. “if the world is round, let’s go this way to india.”
“nah, don’t worry, we already got this,” said portugal.
so chris goes to spain. “hey spain, wanna hire me to find india by going around back of the world?”
“no”
“please?”
“no”
“please?”
“wtf”
“no”
“please?”
“…okay”
so he sails into the ocean, and discovers… more ocean. and then discovers the indies, and japan! let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world.
the aztec and the inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent.
the hapsburgs are marrying into so many royal families, they might have to start marrying each other.
move over, lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again.
move over, timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again.
let’s make it the other kind of islam. the one where we thought the first guy should’ve been the other guy.
hey, christians! do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell!
“that’s bullshit. this whole thing is bullshit. that’s a scam. fuck the church. here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther, in his new book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation.
“you know what would be magnificent?” said suleiman wearing an onion hat. “what if the ottoman empire was… really big?” which it is now.
“what if russia was big?” said ivan, trying not to be terrible.
portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade. and then that dream was real.
and spain realized that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. “damn,” said england and france. “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” then the dutch revolt, and all the hipsters moved to amsterdam. “damn,” said amsterdam. “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.”
question one: can you get to india from north america? no, but at least there’s beaver.
question two: steal the spice trade. that’s not a question, but the dutch did it anyway.
and sugar… guess where all of the sugar is made? in brazil! stolen! in the caribbean! and it’s so goddamn profitable, you might forget to not do slavery.
the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger.
britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world. more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven-year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss? yes they did! it’s britain.
guess who’s broke? also britain! so they start taxing the hell out of america. “fuck you!” says america, declaring their independence and fighting for it, and france helps them win. now france is broke, and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent.
wait, if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses?
“let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s heads off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off.
you could make a rel— no, don’t.
haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. “why didn’t we think of this before?”
wait, who’s in charge of france now? “me,” said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back!luckily, they banished him to another island.
there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin american wars of independence.
britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains. and conquer india and maybe put some trains there.
“hey, china!” said britain. “buy stuff from us!” “nah, dude, we already got everything,” says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked, actually. but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island.
britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop the other person from conquering afghanistan.
also, the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now:“that’s just where he lives.”
india just had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. “nope,” said britain, governing them even harder than before.
incoming telegram: HI I JUST SENT YOU A MESSAGE THRU A WIRE
technology is about to go crazy!
the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. it’s bad, they decided, and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land and maybe kick out the mexicans too.
“i know! let’s rape africa!” said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia…
britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand…
the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more:
hawaii!
cuba!
wait, spain controls cuba.
well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on spain?
u.s.s. maine sinks
“let’s blame the maine on spain.”
so they blame the maine on spain.
now we’re in business.
to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans.
britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go…
china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new, stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and is controlled by a guy from the previous government.
europe hasn’t had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns! it’s gonna be a great war, so great we won’t need a second one. after it’s over, they blame germany.
russia went on strike, and the workers overthrew the government. now, everyone’s paycheck is the same. communism in the soviet union…
the arabs revolt and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won’t mind.
“let’s cut the cake!” said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore-empire.
except turkey! turkey makes a brand new turkey!
and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do.
phone rings
hello? yes, it’s the 1920’s calling. let’s get to a car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy is great and it will probably be great forever. just kidding.
germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model, and he’s mad at the jews for existing.
japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited, they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it.
hitler’s out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all of the jews is a bad idea. but he kills himself because they could explain it to him. that’s world war two!
bonus round! pacific showdown
united states vs. japan
FIGHT!!
united states drops two extinction balls on japan
FINISH HIM!
let’s unite all the nations and have some world peace! seems legit.
“hi, im gandhi, and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india, i’m going to starve myself in public.”
britain leaves
“wow, that worked?”
bonus! now there’s pakistan. actually two pakistans, one of them can be bangladesh later.
the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. “me!” they both said at the same time. let’s divide up the lands so we’re both happy. SIKE! they both get angrier!
look out, china! there’s a new china in china. what’s on the menu? communism! no thanks, said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china…?
there’s the korean war. korea versus korea! nobody wins, then its on pause forever.
let’s meet the sponsors. oh, it’s the two global superpowers. they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which one is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. FIGHT!! wait, no, that would be the end of the world. let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs.
“i’ll race you to space.”
united states plants a flag on the moon
now let’s make more countries fight themselves.
europe is tired of pillaging other continents, and the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here’s a new map with new countries. now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by.
the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it.
let’s check the world population!
woah. okay.
technology is better too, that might keep happening.
the soviet union decides to relax a little, and accidentally falls apart.
europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money. except britain, because they don’t feel like it.
let’s check the mail… surprise! it’s on the computer!
whoops, someone just attacked america. i bet they’ll remember that.
phone call! surprise! it’s in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise! it’s on the computer! now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket!
whoops, the economy just crashed. don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail, because they’re not supposed to.
surprise!… flying robots. with bombs.
wanna print a brain?
some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic!
“let’s save the planet!” said everybody, not knowing how.
“let’s invent a thing inventor,” said the thing inventor inventor after being invented by a thing inventor. that’s pretty cool.
by the way, where the hell are we?
thanks for watching history
i hope i mentioned everything
psychic: what the fuck

do you think sneaking out is ever a problem at hogwarts? like beyond secret passages to hogsmeade for late-night honeydukes.

imagine there’s this small muggle scottish town not far from hogwarts. just a quick broom hop.

and some especially rambunctious muggleborns start hanging out around there. they sneak out on days no one’s looking for students, quidditch matches and hogsmeade weekends. 

sometimes they go to the little movie theater and the workers are always baffled. this town isn’t exactly a tourist spot, but every so often, a group of kids just show up out of nowhere. there’s a core few, but there’s always at least a couple who watch these movies like they’ve never even heard of the concept of the moving picture before. and they just sit there with their eyes wide and these big smiles. 

and they always go out to eat after, but never to a restaurant, no. they go to the convenience store and wipe out the junk food and candy aisle. and they carry the leftovers like they’re going into hibernation.

sometimes it’s just a couple of them. they sit at the cafe and the waitresses all eavesdrop on them because they say the weirdest things like “it’s so nice to eat without wax dripping on our heads, eh?” or “you look kind of different under electric lighting. i’m not used to it.”

their only friend in town is the guy who works in the music shop. they hardly ever buy anything, but the guy plays the newest music for them whenever they stop in. he fills them in on new albums and singles that just came out. a few girls ask about one tv show. he doesn’t pry, but once one of the teens told him they just “don’t have access to this stuff”

sometimes they just sit in the park all day, drinking soda and eating candy bars, and just read magazines, with more piled around them.

it’s not that they wish they weren’t at hogwarts or that it’s a prison to break out of. sometimes being surrounded by magic can just be too much. they get homesick for a whole other way of life. 

GOT7 flirting Style

request by anon:  Heyy idk if you want to answer this but what do you think got7s flirting styles are? Like is one member more subtle or obvious or tsundere style etc? Thank you if u answer it!

Jaebum: Youngjae said it himself (YESS 2JAE) that JB is tsundere style. Those who don’t know it’s when someone shows a more cold or chic attitude at first but eventually shows a loving and warm style. If that doesn’t scream Jaebum IDK what does. He would probably ignore you and act super cool around you especially in front of a group; but then one day if you and he are alone and he notices you looking down or sort of tired he would offer to walk you home or buy you your favourite drink. “_______, you seem cold. Here.” And hands you a scarf casually. 

Mark: He’s a quiet flirt. He seems pretty shy and reserved so he wouldn’t outright flirt with you. You would probably take a lot of the gestures for granted as friendly actions. Like fixing your t-shirt if it was falling off your shoulder or offering you a bite of his food. He strikes me as the kind of guy who is friends with a girl first and then slowly tries to work his way to a boyfriend. He would probably flirt by asking “Hey do you think we could go for a walk tonight?” or just wanting to spend time alone. 

Jackson: He would flirt with you by always sticking by you. Offering to be your partner in games or wanting to sit next to you when your group of friends goes to the movies. He would put his arm around you in a friendly way but maybe squeeze you just a little tighter and closer than usual. He would literally never stop complimenting you, and honestly, his crush on you would be hella obvious “You know ______, I didn’t even know it was possible for someone to be as pretty as you.” 

Jinyoung: He would be the most traditionally flirtatious. A gentlemen, of course, but also coy and kind of teasing. He would jokingly pick on you a lot but also take care of you whenever you needed help. He would make comments about how he likes his other friends better than you and then laugh but then he would sneak in winks and lip bites (but deny them if you ever brought it up). He has a very push and pull style of flirting. “Maybe you’re seeing things ____?” (winks again). 

Youngjae: He would want to be subtle but honestly he wouldn’t be able to contain the way you make him smile and laugh more than anyone. He would compliment your hair and smile. He would bring you small gifts saying that he just had them laying around the house. He would always ask you to go for walks with Coco and him to the park and insist on buying the ice cream. “______ “ you would reply “yeah?” He would smile and say. “Nothing. I just like saying your name” 

Bambam: He would make a lot of comments that sounded like he was joking but really he wasn’t. He would say things like “Oh _____ you look hot today.” And make one of those whistle noises at you while laughing. As he casually holds your wrist to lead you. He would actually be super nervous on the inside but play it off casual and funny. He would probably compliment your fashion and also tease you about things a lot. Giving you excuses to push him or playfully punch his arm. Which is what he is hoping you’ll do. 

Yugyeom: SHy babyyy. He would always giggle around you ad stutter whenever trying to impress you or flirt with you. Literally, everyone would know about his crush (even you had a little suspicion). He would be extra nice to you always asking if you’re okay okay or checking if you’re tired or hot or cold. He would try to joke like Bambam but it wouldn’t come off as confident as him. His flirting is really more just giving his crush away as opposed to a secret. “You look so beautiful today. Not that you don’t always look beautiful. Like pretty or just nice I mean beautiful too but…you know what I mean ______” 

AU PROMPTS (based on my first semester of university)

I’m helping you move in and it looks like you brought way more things then you need. “I just wanted to be prepared!” AU


You’re my room mate and it turns out my birthday is the day after yours. “I’m older. I get dibs on which bunk I get!” AU


“Hello, do ya wanna join-” “Fuck off.” AU


“Free food! Free food!” “Don’t lie! The crowd will get mad!” “So what?” “I don’t wanna die before the semester even begins!” AU


We’re supposed to be room mates of three but the third never showed. “What are we gonna do about the other bed?” AU


I lost my school card and you’re the person who finds it AU


The dining center doesn’t have gluten-free food and I know you’re allergic to it so I offer you some of my gluten-free care package a friend sent me AU


I showed up 30 minutes late to this lecture but luckily you’re kind enough to let me see the notes I missed AU


“Can you please stop taking pics of me failing at making a cup of noodles?” AU


You’re my room mate’s friend which makes you my friend by default AU


I noticed that the dorm next door has something from fandom drawn/written on the window AU


I didn’t buy the textbook. “Would you mind if we shared or at least studied together?” AU


I need help with some mundane college thing 24/7. “Can you tell I’m a first-year?”

Wanna-One Kang Daniel Prince!AU (Part 1)

For anon; I don’t really know much about royalty things so bear with me lmao. You can find part 2 here and part 3 here. Enjoy! (You + Kang Daniel)

A/N: Edit above is not mine, all credit to the fan who survived long enough to finish making this! (sorry I don’t know who made it, if anyone does let me know and I’ll give credit)

  • Okay so let’s make up a fictional country
  • And in this fictional country, there is a royalty system; and the prince is guess who Kang Daniel
  • Doesn’t have many actual responsibilities as of now because mostly the King and his assistants take care of everything
  • Daniel’s job is basically to not fuck up in public and to uMMM u know carry on the dynasty 👀
  • He’s still in college but doesn’t really talk to anyone other than his close friends that he’s known since middle school
  • (like a F4 thing from Boys Over Flowers LOL)
  • His parents (the King and Queen in case that wasn’t clear rip) actually told him to not really talk to other people because they were afraid Daniel would be taken advantage of
  • But never fear Daniel has his good ol comrades: Ong and Jaehwan
  • Those two also had some kind of connections to people in positions of high power, whether that be through business, music, etc.
  • Despite how powerful they are, they surprisingly aren’t all that bad of people; all of them are pretty nice even if they slack off sometimes on their schoolwork lol
  • But people generally think of them as unapproachable (which they kind of are, because they’ve known each other since forever and trust one another wholeheartedly)
  • Anyway Daniel bodyguards and people who escort him to school, but that got awkward so he insisted on being by himself at least while on the school campus
  • Girls (and guys) flocked around them 
  • How convenient, a bunch of handsome people all hanging out together. Makes for some good pictures
  • You kind of… distantly knew Daniel, but obviously not well
  • One of Daniel’s older friends who wasn’t in college, Jisung, was your cousin
  • Daniel and Jisung’s parents were friends, but the two connected very well lol
  • Jisung and Daniel were practically like family despite their age difference, so you used to hang out with Jisung at the Kang’s palace when you were young b/c Jisung was in charge of babysitting you a lot lol
  • You three would do Cute Things™️ like play board games and play tag and draw pictures and giggle 
  • The King and Queen always liked treating you all to foods and buying you games; they even installed a swimming pool in the palace so that you three could learn to swim together there
  • But ever since Jisung started going to middle school, the time was greatly reduced for the three of you to hang out
  • (I’m thinking ages around… Jisung being 12, Daniel 6, you 5 or something. up to you lmao it doesnt matter)
  • So you pretty much had no contact with Daniel for many years
  • But now, you were both in the same school
  • Of course this probably wouldn’t change much because obviously you hadn’t known or talked to him for many years
  • You were shocked at how… well he grew up
  • He was really tall now, and really handsome,,, and also really off limits lol
  • You saw him again for the first time in your math class, you were a couple classes ahead so the both of you were in the same class even though you were younger
  • You had seen him on tv and in photoshoots but you had no idea how much better he looked in real life, which was really something considering he looked perfect in pictures as well
  • He didn’t seem to recognize you though, which made perfect sense since you guys hadn’t met in years
  • Maybe he’d remember my name?
  • But when the teacher called for attendance in the math class that day, Daniel showed no reaction when you got called
  • You had to admit you were disappointed, but it wasn’t a big deal
  • You thought you wouldn’t be like all the other girls, fawning over Daniel, because you knew what a n00b he used to be, but here you getting all embarrassed over how attractive he was lol
  • For the rest of the semester, you just kinda stared at Daniel from afar, never approaching him or giving him gifts or anything because you thought it would be weird for you to do that
  • He was always just giggling and fooling around in class
  • He was one of those students who wasn’t that amazing at school but was charming and happy, making the teachers and other students love them anyway
  • Would always participate in class with wrong answers, and bicker with the teacher jokingly
  • Only a certain type of person could do that LOL and it wasn’t just because he was the Prince, he was genuinely a fun guy
  • When the winter holidays rolled around, though, things changed
  • You read on the news that the palace was looking for a potential spouse for Daniel, so they could ensure the continuation of their dynasty
  • And just a day later, you got a call from Jisung, asking if you could come over to his place
  • He told you that the royal family was having a New Year’s ball, and asked if you wanted to go instead of him because he already had plans
  • You had nothing better to do, so you said it was fine lets not kid yourself you wanted to see someone
  • Jisung, being the lovely cousin he was, had already ordered a dress for you :’)))
  • Jisung the OG Fairy Godmother
  • For the next couple of days, you were just a ball of nerves; you had never been to one of these parties before
  • Jisung went every year, but you never went because typically people under 13 couldn’t go (unless you were royalty)
  • You pretty much hid in bed and googled how to act at parties until December 31st rolled around
  • You did your own makeup and hair, which was… difficult but you ended up satisfied
  • You didn’t look extravagant, but you were pretty
  • You arrived at the palace, and pretty much just stood there awkwardly because you had no friends and no escort at the party
  • But food is always a reliable friend so you headed over to that area
  • And you found… a whole tray of different kinds of cheese. You instinctively squealed at all the cute little cubes
  • You stacked up enough food to fill you with happiness and sat at a table by yourself, in the corner, slightly in a blind spot from the rest of the party
  • A perfect hiding spot !
  • As you looked around, you started feeling kinda weird
  • Everyone at the party was so FANXY (dean if ur reading this i love u)
  • You were also wearing a quite expensive dress but everyone there oozed this aura of class and sophistication
  • ANd here you were building a jenga tower out of carrot sticks
  • Oh well. You didn’t know what you had to gain out of being at the party; you came out of curiosity to see the palace again and Daniel, but you hadn’t even seen the latter yet
  • All that happened so far was the pain of your feet in the high heels you were wearing
  • You leaned down in your chair, taking your heels off and massaging your feet, the tablecloth sort of covering your head
  • You were just rubbing away the pain when you heard two familiar voices
  • “All of the women here are just… not what I was hoping for,” a woman said
  • “Yes, it would be nice if we got to see if they were actually good people instead of just them trying to say what will impress us,” a man replied
  • “Daniel doesn’t deserve someone who just wants to take advantage of the throne. The princess should be someone with a good heart, not someone with good makeup artists” 
  • Without thinking, you exclaimed “Oh yeah, that’s such a good perspective, I totally agree with that,” head still under the table
  • You heard gasps behind you, the people were shocked
  • Hmm, maybe I can talk to these people so I won’t be alone anymore
  • You tried to get up, banging your head in the process, and said “Oh, I’m sorry about that, nice to meet you, I’m (Y/N)”
  • And thEN you looked up… to find staring at you the King and Queen
  • sdklfjksldjfKLJSDKEILFDKSJKlsd WTF NO
  • “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry for interrupting you, uhhh thank you for serving us so well hah” you mumbled out, starting to run away
  • And then you realized you hadn’t put your shoes on yet, stopping in your place
  • The King and Queen were still standing there, staring at you
  • You walked back to your shoes, and started to put them on
  • “Leaving my shoes behind? I guess I think I’m like Cinderella or something”, you tried to joke, making an awkward smile
  • You started to cringe, about to run again, but then you heard laughs
  • The King and Queen were totally cracking the fuck up at your bad joke
  • Was it really that funny? uh okay i guess whatever works???
  • “What’s your name again?” the Queen asked through her laughter
  • “Uh it’s (Y/N), are you guys hiring for a royal jester position or something”
  • They started their laughing fit all over again, before the King suddenly stopped
  • “(Y/N)? Isn’t that the name of the little girl who always used to come over and play with Jisung?”
  • “Uh yep that’s me all right, Jisung gave me his invitation this year to come on behalf of him, he was busy”
  • The King and Queen gasped and then both hugged you, just like they had in old times
  • “You have grown up so well! Do you still enjoy cheese? I remember the chefs always had to restock every time you and Jisung came over,” the Queen said
  • “Uh. Yeah I still like cheese I guess, haha..”
  • “Oh my goodness! Have you met Daniel yet? I’m sure he’d be so excited to see his old childhood friend! Let’s go meet him now, (Y/N)”
  • oh god no nog no no nson on o no no no . n on no awkward nono no no
  • “Oh gosh no that is totally all right I’m doing just fi–”
  • “What do you mean, you’re sitting by yourself like a loser, you probably know nobody here” the king laughed out
  • … bruh
  • The royal parents escorted you to see Daniel, earning looks from the rest of the people at the party, as you internally freaked the fuck out
  • oh my gosh he has been in my math class the entire year he would think it is so weird that i’m approaching him now oh god and his parents are here too they’re making such a big deal about this–
  • “Okay (Y/N) just wait here, we’ll find Dan and bring him in, just wait”, the Queen said, plopping you down on a fancy couch in one of the other rooms of the palace
  • The Queen and King walked out, giggling to themselves as they searched for Daniel
  • “I think she’d be a really good choice for Daniel, she was such a fresh breath of air!”
  • “Yes, and they’re both friends! How adorable,”
  • Time passed by in slow motion as you sat in the room by yourself
  • You got up and started pacing around to attempt to calm your nerves
  • You hadn’t even seen Daniel the whole time you were here, and now you were going to be alone together? He would find out that you were in his math class the whole time and then that would be super weird
  • You picked up random objects in the room and looked at them, as the butterflies in your stomach stirred up some tsunamis
  • You were in the middle of looking at all the books on the shelf, when you heard footsteps walk into the room
  • You whirled around, and found yourself making direct eye contact with Daniel, in a black and white checked suit (the same one as in the picture hehe)
  • “Uh, hello?” Daniel’s deep voice called out to you
  • “…Hi,” you meekly responded, tucking some hair behind your ear
  • Jeez (Y/N) why are you so nervous…
  • “Do you want to sit?” Daniel motioned to the couch, walking over to it himself
  • This was the most serious you have ever seen him, and you were shocked by it
  • “Uh yeah, so I guess your parents told you but apparently we used to be childhood friends, I’m (Y/N), Jisung’s little cousin, we used to play togeth–” you started to explain, before Daniel interrupted you
  • “I know who you are.”
  • You finally met his eyes, taken aback by his strong gaze
  • Is he mad? Wha–
  • “Why didn’t you say hello earlier? In math class?” he continued
  • Well this managed to turn more awkward.
  • “Oh…” you started, fiddling your fingers, “I thought you didn’t remember me, so I thought it’d be weird to talk to you again,”
  • You glanced up at him, only to find his eyes curved into cute little crescents, his deep laugh finally escaping his mouth
  • “Jesus, I can’t believe we both thought the same thing. I thought you didn’t remember me. I was hurt, (Y/N)!” He exclaimed, playfully shoving you
  • You sat there in shock, as Daniel started rattling off stories of what you two used to do, ruffling your hair (messing up your hard work, although he barely noticed that)
  • “You remember me?” You quietly asked, letting your thoughts loose
  • “(Y/N), Jisung talks about you all the time, even if I wanted to forget I wouldn’t be able to, you crazy cat”
  • You looked up at him and couldn’t help but blush
  • He was so pure and happy, and it made you feel wonderful
  • The two of you just sat there in the room for another 30 minutes, chatting about old times and how you’d been for the past… many years
  • You hadn’t talked in years, but for some reason the both of you just connected well, genuinely interested in what the other had been up to
  • Too soon, it was time for Daniel to go back to the party and do some wishes for the New Year
  • “I’m so glad we met again, I was honestly so lonely at the party because I don’t know anyone, even your dad called me a loser”
  • “I’m actually pretty lonely at these parties too; Seongwoo and Jaehwan usually have their own commitments to be at today, I’m glad you’re here, (Y/N)”
  • You smiled at him, the both of you kind of inching towards another for a maybe hug, but you guys just did some awkward movements and ended up in a weird handshake
  • Daniel scratched his face, embarrassed, and said he would see you later, running off back to the party
  • You sat back on the couch, laying down sprawled everywhere, letting what had happened in the past couple of hours sink in
  • Did that really just happen?
  • You excitedly thought of all the things the both of you had to talk about, feeling fulfilled that the mystery between you two had been sorted out
  • You were so happy that your childhood friend that you cherished so much was not lost forever!
  • If you didn’t have a crush on Daniel before, you definitely did now.

Part 2, Part 3


A/N: So I was planning for this to be done in one shot, but it turned out more intense than I had anticipated LOL

Hopefully this will be wrapped up in the next part; I really enjoyed this concept! 

things the zodiac signs do when you're friends with them

Aries: the friend who chews like a dinosaur in jurassic park and talks themselves into a rage once you’ve mentioned something they know a lot about, unintentionally addresses you with wrong names several times a day

Taurus: always buys gifts for you and lends you books and cds and gives you their food without you even asking for it, it’s a bit awkward but endearing

Gemini: accidentally drunk calls you instead of their mom, cries over dog pictures at 2 AM at sleepovers and makes you wonder why you even invited them

Cancer: sends you a ton of snaps of their cat and artsy photos of the water when they’re in the bathtub

Leo: drinks so hasty the drink dribbles down their chin, burps really loud and doesn’t even care you’re staring at them

Virgo: buys truck loads of washi tape (the expensive one) and cardboard with pretty patterns to make birthday and Christmas cards, gives the ugly and screwed up ones to you

Libra: puts their hand on your arm and hits you with their legs under the table when they want your attention, won’t stop until you tell them to

Scorpio: looks like they listen to you but doesn’t, stares at you for an eternity and then says something really weird like “ Did your teeth grow? they look bigger than they were yesterday. ”

Sagittarius: that one who’s so full of energy and in such a good mood everyday it makes you feel like a lifeless sack of meat next to them, the child your parents always wished they had

Capricorn: stays calm in almost every situation, a soft smile resting on their lips, a dreamy sparkle in their eyes when they look at you. it seems like there is nothing that can upset them. but when they get angry with you, oh boy. OH BOY better run

Aquarius: wears clothes no one else would buy and looks gorgeous, will support you in everything you do even if you go through a super edgy emo scene hardcore neon anime xD sOrANdom phase they’ll give you a thumbs up and say “You do you, buddy.”

Pisces: squeals and laughs and talks and argues way too loud in public and doesn’t even care when you tell them to be a bit more quiet they’ll get even louder just because they can and they enjoy embarrassing you

dating jimin [realistically]

gif cr.

important disclaimer: just like my other pieces of this series, this is based on my opinion and my imagination of “realistic” only. I don’t know park jimin personally, nor his past relationship experiences. This is only my own imagination on how it could be like dating him. If you’re not open to stuff like this, please don’t read.

note: I noticed that this one turned way more positive than the others lol. I guess jimin really has me thinking that he’s just a cute ball of fluff 

jungkook | taehyung | yoongi l hoseok l seokjin l namjoon

Keep reading

yellowgoingblue  asked:

“i work at a little market/store and u came up to the register with a candy bar but didn’t have enough money to pay for the entire thing. but don’t worry, i got you, fam” au: I saw this and my mind screamed, "ANDREIL".

ok i combined both of these and neither is fully what you asked for but i hope you like it anyway!!!


It’s hot the way only New Jersey gets hot, America’s swampy asshole, thick damp air under an impermeable layer of smog, the sun mocking him from where it hangs between a few grey clouds that indicate but don’t promise an upcoming rain.

Neil’s jog is taking much, much longer than usual thanks to an unbearable amount of traffic. It doesn’t help that he’s had to reroute himself to get some British candy bar from the one Wawa that—without explanation—carries British candy bars.

He gets there eventually, eight miles away from his apartment and so fully dehydrated that he’s questioning how the fuck he’s going to make it back. Wawa is, as always, an oasis: refrigerators line the walls, and within them, blissfully, is cold water. He grabs a bottle and drinks half of it in the aisle before even going on the search for the Mars Bar.

The candy aisle has nothing, just mostly-depleted cardboard boxes of Snickers and Twix. The international section is mainly Latin American and Asian goods, and then, crammed between coconut water and Goya goods, a box of Mars Bars.

Like the boxes in the candy aisle, it’s empty.

Keep reading

Cuddles

Enjoy this nothing-but-fluff imagine for ot4! Love each and every one of these little shorts with all my heart. Hope you do too xx

~////~

Harry:

“Oof!” you gasped as Harry tackled you in an embrace and pressed you tightly against him. “Well it’s nice to see you too,” you squeaked. If it was possible, his strong arms tightened their grip in response and you tried to laugh without much success. In fact you couldn’t even breath successfully. But you didn’t care. You were just thankful to be in his arms after many months apart.

“I missed you,” Harry finally muttered into your hair. You hummed and took a deep breath, inhaling his scent. Oh, God, how you missed that intoxicating smell.

“I had the craziest-” you started to pull away and move on with the night but he held on tight.

“Shh, just stay here for a minute,” he whispered. Smiling lazily, you curled your arms back around his torso.

A minute passed. A blissful, heavenly moment. But then you decided you really liked to breathe and if you didn’t, you might die in his arms - which sounds nice and romantic until you actually experience it.

“Okay,” you tugged away and he let you. A charming grin was plastered on his face and you giggled. Boy, you missed those dimples. You leaned forward to place a quick peck on his lips. He hummed as you did.

“Why do you always pull away?” he whined and you laughed.

“Come,” you held out your hand and he took it gently. You led him to the couch, swinging him around so he laid down first. You wiggled in front of him and felt his arm wrap around your waist. He sighed happily.

It had been a long, long day for the both of you. You practically couldn’t sleep the night before knowing your boyfriend got back from tour the next day so you were knackered. Not to mention he just got back from tour and was in no mood to do anything other than sleep.

Snuggling closer to him, you began to settle into sleep. “…babe?” Harry mumbled softly, drawing you awake.

“Hmm?”

“My arm is currently very dead.” He muttered.

You laughed sleepily, rolling slightly so he could retrieve his arm. He rested it above your head and started twirling strands of your hair between his ringed fingers. “Better?” you mumbled.

“Much,” he replied groggily, pressing a soft kiss to the back of your head. Smiling, you both drifted to sleep once again.

Louis:

You could feel the music pump through your chest and vibrate the floor. My God, the neighbors are going to be pissed. But who the hell cared when you were dancing wildly, and very drunkenly, with your best friends?

Louis was shouting some crazy story into your ear and you wondered if you’d be deaf in the morning. But then again, who the hell cared?

Louis pulled away slightly from your ear and grinned at you while you laughed. Your faces were wonderfully close and you could smell his beer from where you stood. You could just kiss those lovely, lovely lips. But those lovely, lovely lips weren’t yours to kiss. At least, not yet. Your eyes moved from his mouth to his eyes and it was oh so clear he noticed.

He smirked and you saw his hand creeping toward your waist. Just then, the next song started and both of your eyes lit up. Louis’ hand was retrieved and instead shot into the air in drunken excitement. “No way!” you yelped as your favorite song pulsated through the speaker. The moment long forgotten, the two of you joined the thrasing dancers around you.

The party was insane. There were people in your house you had never even met before. To be fair, who wouldn’t try to get into a party with Louis Tomlinson?

The food had been eaten up a long time ago. You were pretty sure a group of five friends went to walk to the store nearby to buy some more chips, but you soon found out they lost their way and ended up getting an uber home. They were the first to leave. After that, people began to filter out. The sun was beginning to rise and the alcohol was gone.

Some stayed, mainly because they were passed out and sleeping. Even in your drunken state, you managed to keep an eye on them.

By dawn, it was clear the party was over. Louis had an arm wrapped around you waist and you swayed sleepily to the last song. You unneccessarily tapped him with the drink in your hand. “I’m tired,” you slurred.

He observed you for much too long before deciding, “Let’s sleep.”

You nodded and you both stumbled over to the couch, arm in arm. Boundaries meant nothing when you two were drunk so he pulled you onto the couch with him. Face to face, you grinned at him.

“What’s that smile for?” he chuckled.

“Dunno,” you shrugged, your hands balled together at your chest. “I just really like you.” He took your hands into his and laughed lightly.

“I really like you too,” he replied and you hummed sleepily.

“Like, ‘like like’?” you wondered.

He laughed, and then a look of horror crossed his face when he hiccuped. “I almost threw up,” he murmured, the conversation forgotten. You burst out in laughter, recoiling slightly. But his grip on your hands refused to let you go.

“Don’t throw up on me!” you giggled. The laughter between you two died out as a harsh wave of exhaustion washed over you. The disgust slowly dribbled out of you when sleep started to overtake your mind and you relaxed, scooting forward against him. You buried your nose into the crook of his neck and hummed happily.

And like that, you both fell asleep with hands tangled and foreheads pressed together. When you were to awake in the morning, you both couldn’t deny the desire to wake up in that position every morning.

Niall:

You dawdled into the living room, your silly cooking hat on to cheer your boyfriend up after a long day. “Hey, Ni,” you whispered softly as you stood over him on the couch. His fingers pressed to his temples, he reluctantly looked at you. “Made us dinner.”

“Not hungry.” he growled. You frowned. The chef hat usually made him smile and get up to give you a welcome kiss.

“But I… worked really hard on this new recipe. I think you’ll love it. It has parmesean in it–” you continued excitedly.

“Look, Y/N,” he interrupted. “I don’t want to eat your 'new recipe’ right now.” he huffed, returning to massaging his temples.

Your heart sunk. Ouch. “Oh.” you whispered. You were sure he didn’t mean it that way, but you couldn’t help but take it the way you did. “I’ll just, uh, eat it myself then.” You voice cracked. You scolded yourself for letting tears creep up on you. But you hadn’t had the best day either, and now the thing you had been most looking forward to had just let you down.

You swallowed hard and turned away harshly, briskly walking back to the kitchen. You stood against the counter, your arms propping you up as you looked over the steaming dish. You suddenly felt quite full. You ripped off the stupid hat and shoved the dish away from you, storming past the living room once again, the tears flowing freely now. Niall paused as you went by, his expression softening.

“Y/N,” he was off the couch in an instant. You stopped at the base of the stairs and reluctantly turned toward him. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he frowned as he advanced toward you.

“I’m just,” your voice caught and a little sob broke loose. “I’m just not having the best day,” was all you could manage to squeak out before you gave into crying.

“Oh, Babe,” he cooed and tugged you into a hug. You let him, slowly wrapping your arms around him. You cried onto his shoulder while he played with the ends of your hair. “I’m sorry I rejected your dinner. I just want to go to bed. It’s been a long day.”

“I understand,” you whispered, gulping down some of the sadness. “Can we just go to bed?”

“Absolutely,” he murmured, pulling away and taking your hand into his. He smiled meaningfully at you before drawing you up the stairs and into the bedroom.

The tears had drained everything out of you and without words, you sat down on the edge of the bed. Niall leaned down and took off your shoes. He stood up, kissed your cheek, and helped you under the covers before toeing off his boots and slipping under the covers after you.

He nuzzled his nose into the crook of your neck and hummed softly.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“You already said that,” you whispered back.

“I know. I’m still sorry.”

“And I still accept your apology,” you chuckled. He kissed your neck lightly and you finally closed your eyes.

You were beginning to fall asleep when you heard his stomach growl. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes again. Almost seconds later, his stomach growled again.

“I’m hungry.” he whispered, earning a laugh from you.

“I’m not moving,” you declared.

“Y/N…” he whined. “Didn’t you make me dinner?”

“Niall we just got comfy!”

“Pleaseee?”

“Ugh! You’ll be the death of me.” You wiggled out of his grasp and he laughed with delight, launching up and trailing you to the kitchen.

Liam:

Every minute or so, your eyes would flicker over to the back door. When will he get here? you thought to yourself. Amidst a small group of strangers, you felt like an outcast. They were all famous, and frankly intimidating. But you agreed to meet Liam in the backyard of the artist he was about to collab with - which meant you both barely knew who’s house you were going to.

You had just gotten off of work and beelined over to the huge house just to arrive before Liam. So there you were - anxiously awaiting your best friend and surrounded by talented artists who only brought awkward small talk.

“Looking for Liam?” a voice sounded beside you and you jumped, turning toward the girl.

“Um, yeah,” you admitted shyly. She smiled.

“My name’s Alicia,” she held out her hand.

“Y/N,” you replied, shaking her hand delicately.

“So you and Liam are dating?” she wondered, casually taking a sip from her drink. Your heart leapt into your throat.

“Oh, uh, no, we’re just friends,” you rushed. Her smile grew.

“I see, I see,” she nodded and you settled down. “So you two are that best-friends-who-actually-want-to-be-something-more cliche?”

You almost choked. “Well, no, I-”

“You swear you don’t like him?” she offered sarcastically. You slouched, pulling your cup to your lips in attempt to hide your embarrassment. She laughed and leaned back into her chair. “I’ve been there. And I never did anything about it. He’s married now. Worst decision of my life.”

“Oh no, I’m so sorry.”

“Me too… sorry for him. She’s a total bitch.”

You sat forward, grinning. “So you’re that my-soulmate-married-a-bitch-instead-of-me cliche?”

She laughed. “Precisely. Let’s hope it doesn’t turn into a I-turned-into-my-soulmate’s-sidehoe-because-he-can’t-make-up-his-goddamn-mind cliche.”

“I’ll drink to that,” you held up your cup and she clanked it with her own. You sipped your drink empty and grimaced. “Want some more?” you wondered to Alicia, gesturing to your own empty cup.

“Nah, thanks. You go ahead.” Shrugging, you got up and sauntered over to the bar. As you filled your cup, you heard the back door slide open. Almost dropping your drink in relief, you turned to find Liam make his way into the backyard. Squealing quietly to yourself, you topped off your drink quickly.

When you made your way over, Liam was sat in your seat. “Uh uh Pretty Boy, that’s my seat,” you warned, and as you did he held up his hand and knowingly, you handed him the drink.

“Finders keepers,” he declared, taking a quick sip from the cup and offering it back up to you. You refused and crossed your arms.

“I’ll trade you the drink for the spot,” you pressed.

“Finders keepers!” he replied more loudly. You laughed and took his hand, trying to tug him off. Instead, he pulled you forward with more force and you fell into his lap.

“Not fair, you get the drink, the spot, and the cuddles?”

“It’s a win-win for both of us,” he decided, offering the cup to you again. You smiled and took a sip. You looked just like a normal couple, and you basically were, minus the kissing. What’s the harm of just adding in a little kissing every now and then? you seemed to wonder more often than not.

Relaxing against Liam, you watched him intently. He turned toward you, feeling the weight of your gaze. His nose almost touched yours and you wondered what would happen if you just closed the distance a little.

“Sorry I was late,” he said, his breath stretching across your lips. You hummed, much too distracted to pay attention to any conversation at the moment. He noticed and his eyes, too, flickered to your lips.

“Oh just kiss already!” Alicia bellowed and the small group gathered around the fire laughed. You melted into embarrassment. “Sorry, didn’t mean to ruin the moment. Continue. Everyone look away!”

“Oh, stop,” you chirped timidly, making the group chuckle again.

The rest of the night passed and with Liam and your new friend by your side, you could relax. Leaning your head against Liam’s shoulder, you decided you didn’t want to be anywhere else but here with him.

~////~

I’ve been writing so much on tumblr lately and I’m LOVING it! But that means I’ve been neglecting my story on Wattpad (my user is @yoootommo aye get that self-promo) for a week and I’M SORRY! Anyway, here you are. Enjoy. I love you so very very much.

Au revoir! Je t'aime! Je vous remercie! I don’t speak French who am I kidding. Haha, have a lovely day/night wherever you are, Lovelies! xx

Dead!Endeavor is the cause of Sugar Daddy!TodoDeku

Mmmmkay thanks for your patience now pls consider this au I got while counting hundreds of individual cigarette packs at 6 in the morning:

  • Todoroki Shouto is watching a stupid game show he doesn’t even like when he gets the call from Number 2 Hero Best Jeanist that his father is dead 
  • Endeavor died attempting to fight off a villain that was trying to take an entire school bus of children hostage (according to Best Jeanist it was a fiery blaze of glory just like how Endeavor would’ve wanted it)
  • Todoroki thanks him, cuts off the call, and hurls his phone at the wall
  • Endeavor is dead
  • Not before being lauded and praised as the truest hero there ever was by the press, by the families of those children he never saw, and especially by other heroes
  • No one outside of maybe a dozen people know who Endeavor truly was
  • It’s too late now
  • What use is the future that Shouto worked night and day for to a dead man?
  • Endeavor will never know how much Shouto will have eventually succeeded without becoming him
  • Endeavor will never know just how much his sons and daughter hate him
  • Endeavor will never know that not once has Shouto never needed his help his entire life, and everything he’s done for himself has been through his own hardwork and power?
  • There’s nothing to prove to a dead man
  • Shouto sits in silence for hours until a knock at the door stirs him
  • Midoriya is on the other side and he keeps him company through the fury and the injustice vast sea of feelings he has yet to sort through 
  • The funeral is attended by top heroes and civilians but no tears are shed
  • The papers believe that Shouto is so wracked with sorrow he could not attend (in reality it was him, Midoriya, and Yaoyorozu who spent the day playing board games and throwing popcorn at shitty movies)
  • Not even a week later, Endeavor’s will is read
  • he has left everything to his youngest son and child, Todoroki Shouto

Keep reading

BTS reaction to someone trying to prank you

Seokjin:

Some of the staff members thought it would be funny to lock you in the one of the recording booths. Right before they closed the door you started screaming.

And in that moment, like a prince on a white horse, a knight in shining armour, in came your boyfriend to rescue you, shouting and spitting fire… okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration but at that moment he seemed like the bravest person to have ever walked the earth, okay?

“What are you, twelve? What kind of prank is this??”

He threw you over his shoulder and left with you towards the horizon… and by that I mean that he went to buy you food so you’d feel better.

Originally posted by the8-carat

Yoongi:

He went to grab lunch for the both of you while you stayed at the company building to talk to one of the trainees you’ve befriended.

When he came back he heard screams coming from the janitor room but he thought it was just his imagination since who would scream in the middle of the day, right? While he was looking for you he heard the giggles of your friend, followed by you asking her to stop. So like the macho man he is, he ran in the direction of the voices and gripped the girl’s wrist right as she was about to push the door closed.

“What do you think you’re doing? Can’t you see that she’s uncomfortable?”

After explaining to her about your claustrophobia she apologized profusely and told you that she thought you were just joking around.

Originally posted by hoseokmonstabts

Hoseok:

Not only were you afraid of small spaces, you hated with a passion elevators. A small box that moves up and down and might stop at any given moment? Yeah, no thank you. So despite being exhausting, you always took the stairs.

One day you invited a friend over to your house and she kept insisting that you take the elevator, despite your powerful refusal.

She started pushing you from the back toward the hell room, and right as the doors were about to close you saw your boyfriend running towards the pair of you, pulling you out.

“If you really wanted to use the elevator you could have done it on your own, don’t try to force other into doing what you want.”

Your friend apologized and found some excuse about her cat giving birth just so she didn’t have to stay in the same place with your boyfriend that was glaring daggers in  her skull.

Originally posted by ciutae

Namjoon:

An old classmate of yours, now co-worker, wanted to see if you were as scared of small spaces as you were in high school. Answer: Yes, yes you still are very much terrified of them. But he didn’t believe you and wanted to see for himself if that was true. fucking dick

Just a he was about to lock the door of the janitor room, the elevator’s door opened to reveal your boyfriend wearing all black  and… yellow glasses??

Without saying a single word he took your hand and left.

Why was he here? Why was he dressed like this? Why wasn’t he saying anything? It didn’t really matter, you were safe now. 

Originally posted by yahjiminie

Jimin:

He was really glad you got along so well with his band mates since that meant that you could spend as much time as you wanted at the dorms and no one would complain. So while he was taking a nap after a long day at practice you remained in the living room to play video games with Jin and Jungkook.

He was stirred awake by the muffled screams coming from Jungkook’s room. When he went over to see what was happening he was met by the sight of Jungkook trying to lock you in his closet and you were on the verge of tears.

He screamed his name while taking long strides towards him to push him away.

“Yah! What is wrong with you, kid?? Look, you made her cry” “Come on Y/N, let’s go out. It’s alright you don’t have to worry”

Before you left the bedroom you threw one of his dirty socks in his face.

Taehyung:

You were sent to get something from the storage room of your workplace. One of your co-workers saw you entering and thought it would be funny to scare you a little by locking the door. But you weren’t a little scarred, you were very scarred.

You were banging in the door, asking whoever was on the other side to open it but all you received was laughter.

Luckily, lunch break was soon and Taehyung already arrived with your food. He instantly heard your voice and went over to see what was going on.

Once he got you out of there, he turned to your co-worker, not missing the chance to scold her.

“You are an adult, you should act like one.” “This is a workplace, not a fucking playground. Don’t go around doing dumb shit.” Hopefully that thought her a lesson. 

Originally posted by btskimtaehyung

Jungkook:

Some typical frat boy decided to entertain himself by seeing you panicking when he was trying to lock you in the janitor room.

He was laughing his ass off until he caught sight of your boyfriend walking towards him. Backing away slightly, he turned to face him with a wary smile plastered on his face. “It’s just a prank, bro”

Cue to intimidating Jungkook rolling up his sleeves. “What did you say, you punk? Come here so I can show you what a  prank looks like”. In less than a second he was gone and you were in the arms of your boyfriend that was petting you softly on the head. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him later.”

Originally posted by smallkpoplove

🌸Masterlist🌸

Get a Phil who buys you a milkshake, which is then the only thing you care about | 10.10.17
  • Phil: So I just ordered loads of food and the only think I'm living for is the fact that I've ordered milkshakes. I don't even want to...
  • Dan: Wait, wait. You ordered milkshakeS?
  • Phil: Yes, I ordered you one. 'Cause I'm a good friend.
  • Dan to the live stream: Bye!
  • Phil: I didn't even care about the food.
  • Dan, still to the live stream: See you later.
  • Phil: I was like get to the milkshakes.
  • Dan: World Mental What Day?
  • Phil: World Milkshake Day!
  • Dan, again to the live stream: Sorry, got places to be.
One of a Kind (Jughead x Reader)

Prompt: Can I request a Jughead x plus size reader where the reader has a really loud a unique laugh and even though she can be quite sarcastic like Jughead she can also be his exact and she basically is the only person that can make him smile and laugh a lot ? Maybe throw in him letting her wear his beanie and just a really cute relationship ? Thank you so much.

A/N: Here’s a happier one! I actually felt a lot better after writing this and laughed a lot during this. I hope you like it. Requests are welcome!

Masterlist

One of a Kind (Jughead x Reader)

Jughead Jones III was not exactly a sad person but it took a lot to make him smile or even laugh. The closest thing most got was a small chuckle or his famous half smirk. Some even believed he wasn’t capable of such joy.

The truth was he simply lost that joy when Jellybean and his mother left. Leaving him with his father who was almost always drunk.

It all changed when Riverdale High got it’s newest student.


You groan when you glance at your schedule. You had opted out when they offered to have a student show you around and now you were kind of regretting it. You figured that it would at least be built like your last school but no. Riverdale High looked as if it hasn’t gotten a makeover since it was built.

“I’m guessing you’re lost?” You turn to see a very well dressed guy grinning at you.

“And I’m guessing you’re gay?” Mentally cringing at how harsh that sounds, you went to apologize only to have the boy laugh.

“I like you! I’m Kevin Keller, Riverdale’s only out gay.” He chuckles as you roll your eyes.

“Names (Y/n). Riverdale’s New Student. Who clearly should have taken the tour.” You sigh at the paper in your hand.

“I gotcha girl.” the boy, Kevin, links his arm with yours and snatches the paper out of your hand. “Good, you have next class with me.” and with that, he drags you down the hall.

Keep reading

marry you

a/n: I gave in to my want and decided to actually write this since I, for once, don’t have much to do for school. I tried to make this as fluffy and cute as possible but idk if I succeeded. (I added a tiny amount of angst, not with reddie but with…another ship). Sorry for any mistakes, it was late at night when I wrote this
summary: completely based on this post that I made a few days ago where Richie is a radio host and plays a song for Eddie.
pairing: reddie motherfucker
warnings: they’re adults in this (23-ish) so like…expect a few sex jokes or something 

Richie spun around in the swivel chair at the desk with large headphones around his neck as he messed with a Rubix Cube he had found earlier that month. Music was playing for the radio show he worked for; he’s been there since the start of college, which was six years ago, and was pretty proud of himself of keeping the job.

It started out as just a college radio station when Richie had been hired, but somehow more and more people started listening and enjoyed the guy’s almost nonstop talking so it became something bigger. The name got legally changed to Trashmouth’s Talkshow – a name fully influenced by his friends’ and boyfriend’s own nickname for him – and could now be heard by anyone, not just the college students. His boyfriend was extremely proud of him.

Speaking of said boyfriend…

Keep reading

Bae Jinyoung Mafia AU

warning: violence, blood

  • you work at this convenience store in a not-so-great part of time
  • as a high-school-er, it’s not ideal to have a job, but you make do with what you have
  • you’re also like 95% sure that the bar next door to the convenience store sells some weird drugs or some shit out of the back
  • but you value your life, so you don’t press it
  • one night during your shift, you were managing the cash register when a classmate of yours, bae jinyoung, bought some energy drinks
  • he looked a bit surprised to see you, and you were surprised to see him as well
  • “do you live in this part of town?” he asked hesitantly, almost as though he was nervous
  • you explained that you didn’t live there, but you’d seen the job offering and taken it immediately
  • he bids you good night and hurries off into the night
  • (you totally weren’t watching where he went) but you could have sworn that he ducked into the bar next door
  • shaking the odd feeling off, you turned back to the book that you were reading, waiting for your shift to end
  • the next day in class, you see jinyoung and you make kind of awkward eye contact before turning back to your own work
  • he was fairly popular at your school, and people liked him, but he didn’t seem to have many close friends at your own high school, explaining to people that his best friend went to a different high school
  • when you were coming into school a few days later, jinyoung apparently wasn’t there because everyone was gossiping about him
  • someone in your homeroom had a friend at the other high school in town, and bae jinyoung’s best friend park jihoon was rumored to be in the 101, the mafia that held control over most crime in the area
  • you didn’t give it much thought, chalking it up to jealous teenagers, but that night when jinyoung stopped in the convenience store to buy energy drinks again, you couldn’t help but stare as he quickly darted into the bar
  • maybe he was in 101 as well as his friend from that other school,,,
  • no way, you scolded himself, this was the guy whose face was smaller than a lollipop, he’s not in the mafia
  • welp
  • a few weeks later, you were just chilling, restocking the magazines, when you heard the loud, telltale pop of rapid gunfire
  • someone burst into the convenience store and yelled for you to get down
  • you did as you were told, crawling over to where jinyoung crouched as well
  • “what’s going on? why is there shooting?”
  • jinyoung grimaced, peeking his head out of the window quickly before ducking down again
  • “is there a light switch or something that you can turn off?”
  • you nodded, reaching up to flick the lights off
  • “ok, do you have the keys?”
  • shakily, you reached into your back pocket and handed jinyoung the keys to the front door
  • he quickly darted over, locking the door before returning to your crouched position behind the cash register
  • “sorry about that,” he sighed, pulling his fingers through his hair, “i’m sure you’ve already figured this out, but i’m involved with 101. we have some operations next door, and someone thought it would be a good idea to try and raid our supply” he explained
  • “then why are you here?” you asked, still totally in confusion
  • jinyoung blushed a bit, looking down at the ground
  • “i-i mean, i knew that you were working this shift, and the guys attacking have a tendency to kill any witnesses, so i wanted to make sure you’d be safe.” he said quietly, not meeting your eyes
  • “oh,” you replied, nodding, “well, thanks”
  • the close proximity of the two of you definitely made your heart race
  • “yeah, no problem.”
  • after that night, you guys become friends obviously
  • he says hi to you in the mornings before class, and stops in more frequently to buy a drink or something, just to chat with you a bit during the shift since he knows how boring it gets for you
  • one day he doesn’t show up for school
  • and the teacher’s really frustrated and asks the class if anyone speaks with jinyoung
  • “oh, (y/n) is close with him!”
  • the teacher explains that jinyoung needs to finish a couple assignments by friday, otherwise he’ll fail maths
  • and she gives you the assignments to pass onto him
  • and ur like um i don’t really know where he is but OK
  • you bring the assignments home with you, thinking that maybe he’ll stop by the convenience store
  • all during your shift, you’re hoping that he’ll stop by, but of course he doesn’t
  • when you’re done with your shift and changed back into your school uniform, stepping out onto the street, you can’t help but stare at the bar next door
  • after contemplating for a bit, you march over there, determined to not let jinyoung fail his class
  • the bouncer stops you and is like
  • “girl you’re not even trying to pretend to be of-age”
  • and you sort of huff and glare at him “i’m with jinyoung,” you said confidently, hoping that would get you in
  • for some reason, it actually does, and you quickly slip in, not really sure what you’re looking for
  • your uniform and obvious young age draws you a lot of attention
  • “hey there, young lady,” a man with a charming smile approaches you “are you here to inquire about the job?”
  • “j-job?” you stammer  out  “no, i’m from jinyoung’s high school, i’m here to deliver an assignment”
  • the guy looks you up and down, eyes flickering to your name tag before grinning
  • “ah, so you’re the infamous (y/n),” he gestured for you to follow him “how convenient, we were just talking about you”
  • he leads you to a back hallway, and was about to open a door when you heard glass smash against a wall
  • the guy winced at that “sorry about that, i guess they’re still talking about you”
  • “hyung, if you think i’m really going to put my entire life on the line for some stupid gang of yours, you’re sorely mistaken”
  • “you took the oath, jinyoung, you have to. besides, we already gave you an alternative”
  • “oh, drag (y/n) into 101? hell fucking no, I’m not a fucking asshole”
  • the man standing next to you knocked on the door
  • “jinyoung? someone’s here to see you”
  • “TELL THEM TO CALL ME LATER”
  • “no dear, i think you’ll want to see her.”
  • jinyoung stuck his head out of the room, clearly pissed off
  • as soon as he saw you, his anger melted into concern
  • “(y/n), what are you doing here?” he asked frantically, looking at you, “you shouldn’t come here, it’s dangerous!”
  • “oh, i just wanted to give you your math homework,” you stammered, reaching into your backpack, “teacher says that if you don’t turn it in by friday, you might fail the class.”
  • “OH, AND YOU’RE FAILING MATH. JUST GREAT, JINYOUNG” someone yelled from inside the room
  • you frowned, looking in the direction of the room
  • “hey, i didn’t say he was currently failing math, i said he might, there’s a big difference,” you folded your arms after handing him the packet of work. “if you want, i can show you a few of the problems tomorrow before school?”
  • “Jinyoung,” the man standing next to you said in a low, almost threatening voice
  • jinyoung turned to you, teeth gritted
  • “i’d love to”
  • “great! i’ll see you tomorrow morning, then?”
  • you hurried out of the bar, wanting to get away from that intense atmosphere
  • the next morning, you ended up being the first person to arrive to your classroom
  • jinyoung showed up with some breakfast bread and steaming hot coffee, setting one down next to you
  • “hey, (y/n), i actually kind of need to talk to you about something other than math,” jinyoung sighed, taking a sip of his coffee before continuing, “i’ll just cut straight to it– I like you, a lot. My hyungs know it too, and I was planning on asking you out a while ago, but ever since you found out about 101, they don’t want me involved with you, since someone could use you as leverage over me. basically, they said that the only way i could date you is if you agreed to work in association with 101.”
  • you frowned, trying to process everything
  • “y-you like me?”
  • “yeah,,,” jinyoung smiled at you, “i know it’s a lot to think about, and i definitely don’t expect you to change your whole life just for some guy. I just wanted to tell you I liked you while I still have the chance.”
  • “Jinyoung, I like you to,” you told him, smiling widely, “we can figure something out, but for now, just know that I like you.”
  • after trading smiles, the two of you start working on math again
  • you two weren’t calling what you had dating, but it was dating
  • he would buy you food in the morning, walk you to work
  • if he had a rough day, or if he knew you had a rough day, you would call each other on the phone and just talk for hours
  • your first kiss was in the back room of the convenience store, next to pallets of instant ramyeon and soy milk cans, but it was perfect
  • his best friend, jihoon, helped jinyoung convince his hyungs to let him date you, and eventually they agree as long as you get some training from them (like self defense)
  • the guy who had been yelling at jinyoung (who he loving referred to as “auntie) even bought you a thing of pepper spray to always carry around
  • jinyoung always makes sure to treat you right and that you’re safe and comfortable while still maintaining your own independence and respect
Best Friend?

Yuta fucking likes you.

Anon said: Could you write a imagine about a “bad boy” yuta realising he is in love with his sweet and shy best friend as they enter their final years of high school or just in college in general? I hope that’s not too cliche. I’m sorry if it is!!

Anon said: Can I get Yuta fluff? I noticed no one is requested for him >< poor my bb! Yuta and the girl always fight and annoyed each other a lot but they began to love each other and felt empty without one of them. So in the end he confessed to her. Thx you ❤

hOPEFULLY this satisfies both these requests. this is 3k i can’t believe this it’s ridiculous. also. these are legit some of the oldest requests in my inbox like bless they’re finally out of here. i hope you enjoy ^^

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