Imagine a set of minigames... Rikkai VS Teikou. A battle against two victory-crazed school. Yukimura vs Akashi, Sanada vs Nijimura, Yanagi vs Momoi, Niou vs Haizaki, Yagyuu vs Midorima, Akaya vs Aomine, and either Marui or Jackal against Murasakibara. The games are up to you! :D
OH YES IMAGINE INDEED!
1. Yukimura vs. Akashi
Akashi: You dare go against me? I admire your audacity but I gotta warn you tho, nothing gets past these eyes.
Yukimura: Chill dude, I’m not called the Child of God for nothing. Your eyes are not a threat to me.
Akashi: Oh? Then shall we test it out?
Yukimura: Hell yes. I’m going to coach a newbie tennis team and you’re gonna coach a newbie basketball team. First one to bring his team to the nationals wins. What do you say?
Akashi: My thoughts exactly.
Referee: Is that seriously your idea of a mini-game? That’s like a koshien-level kind of thing!
Yukimura: We’re too good for anything but the nationals.
Akashi: It’s either the nationals or we die.
2. Sanada vs. Nijimura
Sanada: I am the emperor. My words are absolute. Everything submits to my will. Everything trembles at the mention of my name.
Nijimura: LOL Funny story dude but you know there’s this violent and ruthless underclassman of mine who once faked his illness just to skip practice. And well, I guess I don’t have to tell you what happened next.
Sanada: Are you challenging my authority ?
Nijimura: If the shoe fits, then wear it.
Sanada: Interesting. See that group of thugs over there? Shall we see who between us can straighten them out without breaking a sweat?
Nijimura: Piece of cake. I’m in.
Referee: Okay, this is getting crazier by the second.
3. Yanagi vs. Momoi
Yanagi: A good data collector needs to have an eye for even the most minute details. I don’t think I’ll ever lose to anyone when it comes to that.
Momoi: Heh? Big words, wise guy. But you know, just you being a guy already means that I win this thing.
Yanagi: How so? What does me being a guy have to do with this?
Momoi: You see, we females have this thing called a woman’s intuition. And that makes us better observers and predictors than men.
Yanagi: Rubbish. That’s just nothing but a myth. What makes you think that women’s intuition is far superior than men’s intuition?
Momoi: Because I just have this gut feeling that you’re into girls who are calculating and well, my woman’s intuition is telling me that I’m that kind of girl.
Referee: I don’t really know what just happened but I’m guessing we already have a winner here?
4. Niou vs Haizaki
Niou: When it comes to copying, I’m the man. No one can beat me. I’m known as the Con Artist Of The Courts and I live up to that name.
Haizaki: Well, that’s nice and all dude but that’s nothing compared to what I can do. You see, I just don’t copy moves. I steal them and make them my own. And once they’re mine, no one can use them again but only me. I’m not just some cheap imitation.
Niou: Well, your ability may not be some cheap imitation but your hair sure looks like a cheap imitation of mine.
Haizaki: What the fuck did you just say dude?
Referee: Why do I sense an inevitable butthurt change of hairstyle after this?
5. Yagyuu vs Midorima
Yagyuu: I can’t believe someone who wears glasses could be so senseless and naive as to believe in childish and immature things like horoscopes. Glasses are supposed to be the symbols of intelligence and rationality.
Midorima: And I can’t believe someone who wears glasses could be so ignorant as to not realize the value and importance of of horoscopes. I guess you need more than four eyes to be able to see the truth.
Yagyuu: You have tainted the reputation of every glasses-wearing individual in the planet. You need to be ashamed of your uncultured self.
Midorima: Bad luck befalls people who make fun of the stars. Don’t say I didn’t warn you when you find yourself in a situation worse than death. And stop sounding like you’re the authority when it comes to glasses because obviously you’re not.
Yagyuu: But I am. Do you want proof? Then why don’t we have a contest to see who wears glasses better?
Midorima: Fair enough. Oha Asa predicted that Cancer has the best luck today and I’ve brought my lucky item. I wont lose.
Referee: I think that two of your are totally missing the point of this match-up.
6. Akaya vs. Aomine
Aomine: I’m the strongest. The only one who can beat me is me.
Akaya: Oh really? Then I have some bad news for you dude. The man who will beat you has finally arrived.
Aomine: Oh yeah? Then tell me. Are you me? If you’re not me, then you can’t beat me because the only one who can beat me is me.
7. Marui vs. Murasakibara
Murasakibara: I can’t believe you chew bubble gum all the time Maruichin. And I was so happy when I found out that you also like to eat sweets. I thought I’ve found a comrade but I was mistaken.
Marui: I love everything sweet but bubble gum is the greatest. How can you not fall in love with bubble gum? It seems so amazing and tempting to chew something which you can never swallow. It’s like a whole new world.
Murasakibara: Nerunerunerune candy is the best and you can’t convince me otherwise. Our friendship was good while it lasted but I really can’t be friends with you anymore.
Marui: Well, the feeling has now become mutual and I’ll prove to you how bubblegum is better. Why don’t we conduct a survey with all the people here and decide this once and for all. Wanna bet?
Murasakibara: Of course I will. I have faith in nerunerunerune candy.
Referee: Does that survey come with free samples?
Please do forgive me dearest @draceempressa if this isn’t the kind of thing you imagined it to be but it’s the first thing that came to my mind when I read your scenario.
Submission is open! Send in your sports anime crossover incorrect quotes and headcanons.