friends and relatives

witch-brew  asked:

I had an interview at napera bread today and my Mendys manager MADE ME LATE FOR IT. I'm so tired. Pray to the job gods I get it so I can quit Mendys.

Jeez are they trying to sabotage you or something? I hope they didn’t succeed if they were! Good luck. And may that manager be forever late when it comes to getting to the bathroom on time. At home or at relative/friends houses, though. So none of our own has to clean it up. -Abby

Getting some pretty nasty flooding around the Brissy and GC areas from ex cyclone Debbie.

Schools are closed and public transport stops at noon. If you rely on public transport to get home it will be free until the stop time.

If you end up stranded from lack of public transport don’t panic. Take shelter in the nearest public building eg a shopping centre and call a friend or relative for assistance

Important numbers
EMERGENCY - 000
SES Flood & Storm - 132 500

NAME: Jen
BIRTHDAY: August 24th
GENDER: Female.
ORIENTATION: Straight

FAVORITE SODA: Dr. Pepper
FAVORITE CANDY: Reese’s
FAVORITE PIZZA: pepperoni and olives
FAVORITE SALAD DRESSING: Caesar or just ranch
FAVORITE MEAL: Anything Mexican tbh XD
BEST MEMORY: Hard to say I guess most memories with my friends ROFL
BEST RELATIVE: sister. ( or my mom sometimes )
BEST PET: my cat
BEST CELEBRITY: Iwan Rheon

ONE RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOU: I’m studying engineering design
ONE RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOUR DAY:
I slept 10 hours ROFL
ONE RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOUR JOB/SCHOOL: I hate both

ONE RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW: It’s fucking amazing
ONE RANDOM FACT YOU WISH WAS A FACT BUT IT ISN’T: Ummmm idk??

TAGGED BY:  @snxwbvrnbvstard
TAGGING: @twiicetheheart @lordnegan @the-tenth-will-see-you-now @ladiesofstillhaven @soldier306 @killthebxy @shewolfheart @tyricnlannistcr @winterfellswolfqueen @zaldrizotala

Golden Hour - Kickoff!

Hello, everyone! We’re a four-person team (of friends who live relatively close to one another) who play otome games (yes, we were willing victims of the Cybird and Cheritz games) and VNs (yes, we are also victims of Steam sales). After a couple of conversations about what we liked about VNs and the tropes we’d use if we made our own…we decided to work on a game!

Golden Hour is our second game and first VN, and we’re planning to make it a free-to-play game for iOS and Android. Please cheer us on *u*!!!

Also, any feedback at this point is greatly appreciated as we are still in early development! Feel free to reply or drop a note!


Overview

A young girl transfers into a new school just as the term is nearing its close. With summer approaching, she is tasked with photographing the preparations for the school’s year-end tradition: a grand festival of lights. With her camera at the ready, she dives into a tangle of friendships, rivalries, courtships and conflicts—but the longings of troubled young hearts can’t be captured by lenses alone.

Golden Hour is a mobile visual novel/otome game that thrusts players into the exhilaration of high school romance to capture the fleeting, vibrant colors of youth. Set over a period of ten days, the game follows the protagonist’s attempts to find her place in her new city, especially through her encounters with four remarkable young men.

Caught up in the currents of their lives, she comes to learn their dreams, joys, fears, and obstacles. As she peers into their worlds, she finds her own horizons expanding with knowledge of the city they all call home: developed and all but controlled by a family of old wealth, the city is as full of gentle light as it is of cloying shadows.

Golden Hour is a story of romance, and coming of age; of finding solace in others and certainty in oneself; of lovers, friends, rivals, and family.

Characters

Main Character
[Player-named], Second Year

Our story’s protagonist is used to switching homes, owing to her mother’s career, but she’s hoping this move is her last for a while. Thanks to her frequent relocations, she’s used to dealing with a wide variety of people–but isn’t too quick to open up, and would rather view the world through the lenses of her trusty camera.

Mr. Shutter-Shades AKA your academic fairy godmother

The Media and Visual Culture teacher seems a bit.. strange. But not in a bad way. The student social networking system was something he developed to ease the kids’ daily school lives.
Likes: The Internet. Tabletop games. Students developing meaningful friendships.
Dislikes: Bullies.

Bachelors and Rivals

Coming Soon (4 Bachelors, 4 Rivals, and a sizeable supporting cast)!


Gameplay

Branching Storyline

The game follows four main storylines that span a few days, each with multiple endings and unlockable CG scenes.


Multiple Narrative Modes

[*] Class Schedule
Gameplay happens in blocks of time: morning classes, morning break, midday classes, lunch, afternoon classes…more classes… you get the picture! Checking the calendar and attending classes diligently gives the protagonist a better chance at hitting her stride in her new school. The protagonist can also schedule hangouts with friends or go on dates during the weekends!

[*] In-Game Chat App

What, high schoolers need some way to talk long into the night, right?

[*] Ayara High Student Social Network
A place for Ayara High students to take note of school announcements, post about their day, and advertise their club events. Everyone has an account right from the moment of enrollment.


Stretch Goals

There are a few things that would be nice to have, once we finish with the main storylines!

[*] “Rival Stories”
What happens to everyone else when the protagonist has chosen a character route? We’d like to take a deeper look at the friendships, rivalries, and romances that spring up among the rest of the cast. (ie, if you pick Kouya’s route, Nagi will romance someone from the student council throughout the route playthrough!)

[*] That One Teacher…
This is an extra storyline we’d like to develop, focusing on, well, that one teacher.You know, the one with the weird glasses (someone reeeeally should tell him that Shutter Shades went out of style years ago). 

Brought to you by Matchaa Studio.

Ten Basic Rules For Better Living
by Manly P. Hall

1. Stop worrying

The popular idea that a worrier is a thoughtful and conscientious citizen is false. The Egyptians realized this when they included worry among the cardinal sins. Do not confuse thoughtfulness and worry. The thoughtful person plans solutions, but the worrier merely dissolves in his own doubt. If you think straight, you will have less cause for worrying. The worrier not only suffers the same disaster many times, but undermines his health and annoys all others with whom he comes into contact. There are many things in this world that require thoughtful consideration, but there is really nothing to fear but fear.

2. Stop trying to dominate and posses your friends and relatives

Each of us likes to feel that he is running his own life. The moment we recognize the rights of others to seek life, liberty, and happiness according to their own dreams, hopes, and aspirations, we begin to conserve our own resources. It is very debilitating to give advice which is ignored or rejected, and equally disappointing to attempt to posses and dominate persons who immediately resent and combat our dictatorial tendencies. We are hurt when they do not see things our way. If we save advice for ourselves and those who seek it from us, and who are therefore grateful, all concerned will be the better.

3. Moderate ambition

There is a tendency to overlook natural and simple blessings while we plunge on toward distant goals. Each individual has certain capacities. If he can recognize his own abilities and work with them, he can attain personal security. If, however, he is constantly seeking that which is not reasonably attainable, he can never know happiness or contentment. The wise man observes the disastrous results of uncontrollable ambitions, and chooses moderation. It is not necessary to be famous in order to be happy, nor must one be the leading citizen in the community in order to gratify ones social instinct. The ambitious usually pay too much for what they get, and are the more miserable after they get it.

4. Do not accumulate more than you need

There is no real distinction in being the richest man in the graveyard. Many earnest citizens act as though there were pockets in shrouds. We are supposed to have outgrown the primitive belief that we should bury a mans goods with him so that his spirit might enjoy them in the afterworld. Here, again, the middle course is the wisest. Let us reserve some of our energy for enjoyment, and not give all of ourselves to the task of accumulation. Many a man who has made a million has not lived to spend it. A rich life can be more practical than a monumental bank account.

5. Learn to relax

Great tension is an abomination. The more tense we become, the more stupidly we are likely to act, and, according to the old Buddhists, stupidity is a cardinal sin. Today, many so-called efficient people are perpetually on the verge of a nervous breakdown. This is not so likely to be due to overwork as to unreasonable driving impulses from within themselves. Some say that they are overtaxing their resources to keep their jobs or to maintain extravagant families. Whether you believe it or not, you are a better producer and a better provider if you do not collapse from psychic exhaustion at some critical moment when you are most in need of good health. If your associates do not realize this, they may be in need of practical counsel.

6. Cultivate a sense of humor

As never before, we must brighten and lighten the corners where we are. The more seriously we take ourselves and our responsibilities, the duller we become. It is a saving grace to realize that, although living is a serious matter, we can take it too seriously. Also bear in mind that genuine humor is not bitter, cynical, or critical. It is the ability to laugh with the world and not at the world. If we must laugh at someone, let it be ourselves. Humor is a spice to living. It adds flavor to work, zest to play, charm to self-improvement, and proves to others that we have a security within ourselves. A sincere, happy laugh, like the joyous rippling of childrens laughter, relieves tension and restores good nature. Incidentally, it makes friends and inspires confidence.

7. Find a reason for your own existence

Unless you believe in something bigger than yourself, have some purpose more vital than accumulation or advancement in business or society, you are only existing, not living. A simple pattern is to realize that the laws of Nature that put you here seem to be primarily concerned with growth. You are a success to the degree that you grow, and you grow to the degree that you become a wiser, more useful, and more secure person. In other words, we live to learn, and by this very process, we learn to live. Broaden your horizon, develop an interest in all that is fine, beautiful, and purposeful. Great internal good comes from the love for music, art, great literature, broad philosophy, and simple faith. Strengthen the inside of your nature, and the outside will be better.

8. Never intentionally harm another person

Never by word or deed return evil for good, or evil for evil. Weed negative and destructive thoughts and emotions out of your personality, or they will ultimately contribute to your misery. As we look around us, we see the tragic results of individuals and nations that harbor grudges or nurse the instincts for revenge. The harmless life saves those who live it from many of the mortal shocks that flesh is heir to. Our critical attitudes and our long memories of evils that others have caused only reduce our present efficiency and endanger health and vitality. Even the selfish man realizes that he cannot afford to keep a grudge, and the unselfish simply will not permit grudges to accumulate because they know better and they believe better.

9. Beware of anger

When ill-temper controls us, we are no longer able to control ourselves. In a moment of anger, we may create a situation which will require years to remedy. Why should we spend our time trying to recover from our own mistakes? If we disapprove, let us state our case simply and quietly, and remember that we should never try to correct another when we have already committed a fault as great as his. A quick temper is a serious handicap in business or in the home. It is useless to say that we cannot control anger. This is as much as to admit that we have lost the power to control ourselves. If we resent the unkindness of others and the collective irritability of this generation, let us make sure that we are not one of the irritating factors.

10. Never blame others for our own mistakes

It is hardly necessary. Each of us seems to have an incredible capacity to do things badly and select unwisely. Actually, we are in trouble because we have not made constructive use of the power and abilities which we received as a birthright. Others can hurt us only while our inner life is too weak to sustain in the presence of trial or test. Instead of resenting misfortunes, and seeking to excuse our own limitations, we must face the facts. Either we are stronger than the problem and can solve it intelligently, or the problem is stronger than we are, and the only solution is to increase our own strength. Others are not to blame for our unhappiness. Each man must seek his own peace of mind, and, as the Arabian Nights so well expressed it, happiness must be earned.

lexilawson I try not to get too sentimental when it comes to the goings of cast members. Inevitably- I have learned over time that we must all go on at one point to continue our journey of flying and sharing the gifts and colors in our hearts with the world for as long as we have time on this beautiful earth. Jordan , I understand why GOD MUST pull you in every direction possible. This IS your calling. Your genius talent is unworldly ( Momma Hamilton thanks you for helping her), your old soul and endless knowledge is a miracle mystery , your compassion and love for life is contagious - and I am truly going to miss calling you my son. Thank you for sharing your light, love, wisdom, and guidance with us my friend. Keep shining. #Myson#I #relative-pitch #oldestsoul#hamiltonmusical @jordan_fisher  [x]

“well, as an abled person with a disabled friend/relative/partner/etc, i know what its like too and-”

if you actually cared about the disabled person in your life, or cared about ableism at all, you wouldnt be using them to push some shitty argument.

holy fuck, why is this so hard to understand.

universal thoughts

do you ever realize, like, bro, you were born in this specific span of years. where Dan and Phil breathe and exist. where Trump is president of the United States of America. Where technology is advancing like it never did with things like phones and computers

you could’ve been born near the beginning of human existence or you could’ve been born millions of years from now where the things you see on a day-to-day basis likely will not be remembered. but no. you’re here. here right now on this very planet, this very solar system, your very form and state as an existing breathing human being. you were born through the 1990′s - 2010′s where shipping is a thing. where Tumblr is a thing

where you are thing

you could’ve been born a cat. a dog. a bird. a hamster. the possibilites are infinate. but no; nonono. you’re here. as a human being, scrolling through Tumblr like the trash you are. yeah reblog that funny post. like that gif of a hamster eating a taco. 

where you are in this universe at this exact milisecond of this exact second of this exact minute, hour, day,  night, decade, century, ect. is just an enormous coincedence that you just slipped upon. 

and what a coincedence it is

so if your ever feeling low, remember that you were born at the right place and time, and that you’re most likely a semi-healthy human being who is able to have thoughts, dreams, and happiness. 

The Power Sphere Meditation

We empaths do not have it easy. We see world tragedies, see our friends and relatives getting sick or enduring loss, and sometimes even struggle watching certain movies and programmes.

This is something that we have pretty much self-assigned as destiny. We are doomed to live our lives enduring the pain of a lovelorn vampire in a novel (those feelings were invented somewhere!), suffering through back pain when we see a car wreck, and feeling lonely when our best friend goes through an earth-shattering break-up!

….not!

Now this tactic is a spiritual life-hack that I learned through working with angelics (I will eventually post my dark arts approach) and it really does work in a solid 90% of these situations. Now note, your empathy is a very important tool, and is there to draw you towards people and situations you can heal. In this day and age, there are a lot of physical and metaphysical factors making us hypersensitive, and that is what this approach is set to deal with.

The goal is to feel what is important instead of feeling everything, not to go numb.

When you are feeling a tortuous tornado of emotion, try this simple meditation.

Stand up with your legs shoulder width apart.

Hold your arms out in front of you like a mummy, and then have your palms face each other at about 6 inches apart.

Envision your astral body being white light that has been infiltrated by a black or red ‘fluid’. Feel it, embrace it for a moment, feel how it is heavy and forceful on your vibration. Wiggle your fingers and feel it starting to move through your aural field to your arms and into your palms, creating a sphere between.

Keep going until you feel as if the sphere has taken all of the empathic energy, and has grown to the final size, say the following Latin incantation three times:

Archangel Raphael: By your power am I healed. By your power am I strengthened. By your power am I safe. By your power am I righteous.

Envision the beautiful, luminous form of a tall angel floating down in front of you. Hold your arms out further and feel the gentle, buzzy sensation of his hands grasping yours as he takes the orb from you. He may speak to you, he may not, depending on your needs and requests of the moment.

He will take the unnecessary pain from you, and will help you move on with your day without enduring unnecessary suffering.

This is a skill you can use rather often, but keep in mind, as stated before, there are many times as empaths we are SUPPOSED to feel things, to bring peace to transitioning spirits and to understand some greater themes in our lives.

If you feel you are being overwhelmed by empathic energies, this ritual is a quick way to help, and is also a great way to work on your spiritual practice and visualization.

Hope this helps some of you guys!

With love, light, and laughter,

Carmen of Team MM

  • Date: hey, whatcha thinking about? you look so distant.
  • Me: Imagine what ghouls go through, especially the older ones. Not just the obvious prejudice and hatred towards them. But, they live... indefinitely. Everyone they know and care for, they will inevitably outlive. Their friends, family, relatives, everyone single person with the exclusion of their own kind. Even their memories start to fade after a point and their past becomes blurry and indistinct. Just think about that for a moment. And then, they look in the mirror every day and they no longer see who they were. They see a rotting body where their own should be. And because of that outwardly disfigured appearance and genetic mutations, they are discriminated against, killed for their mere existence, and they see the terror and disgust in the eyes of at least half the people they meet. And, the pain of becoming a ghoul must be excruciating. To be exposed to that amount of radiation... It must be so painful. Yet, the people of the wasteland don't care. They see a friendly ghoul and they think, 'ew a feral'. It's a tragedy... really.
  • Date: *shoving breadsticks into their purse* sorry, I gotta go.
Keep on Living (Chapter 4) Lin-Manuel x Reader


Part 4 was delayed due to sickness and a broken laptop, sorry for the wait. The final 5th chapter will be up soon!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Summary - Your boyfriend is an abusive asshole and you’ve been trying to hide it from Lin and everyone else in the company of Hamilton. Lin has suspected for a while, and you are forced to confess when he notices a bruise on your stomach .

I’m an abuse survivor myself. Not all abuse is the same, and so this fic is not meant to be a universal experience.

To anyone that may be experiencing abuse then my inbox is always open and I will always believe you. Tell a friend or a relative if you are able to. And there are many support lines depending on your town/state/country, talking to someone helps. Stay safe.

Warnings - I’m adding a trigger warning for mentions of emotional and physical abuse.

Word count -  3371

Tags - @21phantasticromances @doctorstethoscope @huffleheyguys @fandom-nerdness7 @superwholockbooknerd526 @rachurro @alirants @awkwardlyfiona @ruth-hamilton-delrio @shockingblonde @musiclover1072 @breiler @hollyisnotsocial @justfangirlingaround @autistic-alien @ktpayne @chloehamiltonn @livinglikelaarry @iputmyselfintothenarrative @hamlintonheights @favouritefightingfrenchmen @plamspringsdancingontables @myfatherseyesandmymothersname @ctrl-altdelete 

———————————–

Your office was dark and silent as you waited for Lin. Down the hall you could hear warm laughter and excited chatter as the cast stayed after the show to meet with the various celebrities in attendance that night. You looked at your watch. If you set off home now then Mark wouldn’t be mad.

Lin had insisted you stay with him tonight. “Remember to wait for me ok? I mean it Y/N, I’m coming to get you as soon as I can get out of here” He’d reminded you minutes before the curtain call that evening.

So now you sat and you waited. You felt like a kid waiting to be picked up after school, and you felt stupid. This was ridiculous. You weren’t a child, you didn’t need need rescuing. You had a home to go and you hated the thought of being a burden to anyone, Lin was probably just being polite. A roar of laughter echoed down the hallway and you flinched. You didn’t want to tear Lin away from all that just to babysit you. You looked at your watch again. If you set off now then you would only be a few minutes late and maybe Mark wouldn’t be that mad. Maybe he’d just shout at you, maybe he wouldn’t hit you.

Lin had promised not tell anyone about the bruise, he’d promised not tell anyone about Mark,  until you were ready. You explained you just wanted to work through today, to put all your energy into the mountain of incredibly dumb and mind numbing paperwork Alex had left you so you wouldn’t have to think about anything else, just for today. He hadn’t pushed you, he hadn’t pressed you. He’d nodded solemnly and said “whatever you need” with a devastatingly kind look which just crushed you.

The weight of this secret hung over you both like a dark cloud all day. The Ham4Ham show which he’d been excitedly plotting all day was now postponed and he approached Renee and Oak to take the lead and host instead.

“Hey what happened to the Backstreet Boys thing? You getting nervous about those dance moves huh?” teased Oak.

“Yeah I guess” Lin replied wearily. Renee pushed Oak aside, sensing something amiss and reassured Lin it was fine.

A few hours earlier he had been so excited about doing something so goofy. But now his eyes had lost their sparkle, instead he looked pensive and reserved and you noticed that he kept tensing his hands into tight fists and closing his eyes. And that made it worse, because it was fine for you to feel shitty, but now there was the overwhelming guilt of making Lin feel shitty too. And he didn’t deserve that.

You looked at your watch again. Ok, if you set off now then you’d definitely be home late. Mark would most definitely be in a terrible mood. He would yell at you that you were disgusting, ugly, pathetic, and as long as you kept quiet and apologized maybe he wouldn’t hit you that hard.

At that moment the door to your office swung open and Lin’s head popped round the door

“Hey Y/N, you ready? Sorry it took so long”

You swallowed the panic that had been rising in your chest only moments before and breathed. The sight of Lin’s soft eyes and a face greeting you with such kindness melted away your trepidation. You nodded nervously and Lin stretched out his hand.

“Let’s go” he said, smiling at you. You offered a weak smile in return and he grabbed your hand to lead you out.

“Ok so I’m warning you, I wasn’t expecting company tonight so things might be a little bit messy” laughed Lin as he opened the door to the apartment. It actually wasn’t that bad, you’d expected it to look a lot more chaotic, but there were piles of notebooks, papers, post-its, forgotten projects, and just the usual chaos you were used to seeing around Lin all the time.

“Honestly it’s fine” you mumbled, looking down at the floor. “I’m just so sorry to be putting you out like this, I feel awful, I shouldn’t be here.” You paused as you entered through the door, as though maybe you really should just turn back home right now. Maybe it wasn’t too late.

“No way, you’re staying. I mean it. You spent the whole cab back here apologizing, you are now entering a no apology zone, ok? No more apologies.” He gave you his best school teacher frown, the one that he used in rehearsals to make you laugh, and you squeezed out a small smile

You place your bag down on the couch, feeling everything move around you in slow motion. You felt like you were under water. When did this become your life? It was an almost an out of body experience where you could see yourself from above, feeling sorry for this mess of a girl in Lin’s apartment. You wondered when you had become this weak.

“I said are these ok?”

“Huh?”

You realized Lin had been talking to you and you’d zoned out. You’d been doing that a lot lately.

Lin gestured at the clean towels in his hands.

“I thought you might need a shower, I just got you some towels. There’s some stuff to sleep in as well, it’s all clean I promise”. He smiled warmly at you but his eyes were still clouded in darkness. The face of someone so desperately trying to cheer you up while masking their own pain. You nodded and smiled and headed to the bathroom.

The hot shower felt good against your sore stiff muscles. Your body ached, and your belly was tender to touch. You looked down at your skin now marked in a map of bruises, some old, some new, and vowed to yourself that there would be no more new bruises after tonight. Mark would never hit you again.

You dried off and smiled to yourself as you unfolded the Ducktales t-shirt and sweatpants Lin had left you. The jersey felt soft against your skin, smelling of peppermint and fabric softener. You headed back to the lounge and for a second you watched Lin as he sat, unaware of your gaze. He sat on the edge of the couch, his hands clasped together in a tight fist which rested on his knees, bouncing up and down in agitation. He cricked his neck. There was a rage in his eyes which he’d been hiding from you. You’d seen it briefly that afternoon when you’d first shown him the bruise, but he’d worn a fake smile all evening for your benefit. But here was the same murderous look on his face, the anger that had scared you, and you felt an instant pang of guilt for making him feel this way.

“Thanks for the shower” you said, making your presence known. Lin looked up at you, the rage instantly melting from his face, and he smiled at you.

“And thanks for all this” you said gesturing to the camomile tea he’d prepared and the blankets and pillows on the couch which he’d set up.

“Oh this is for me, you’ll be sleeping in my bed tonight” said Lin, moving over so you could sit down next to him.

“But..”

Lin held up his hands in protest. “Y’N there’s no way in hell I’m letting you sleep on this couch ok? No arguments. The bed is yours.” You sat down clutching the mug of tea for warmth and gave a resigned nod.

“God I’m so sorry…” you began

“Hey, this is a no apology zone remember? “ He smiled at you in reassurance and his smile, god, it was more than you deserved right now.

“I’m sorry. I know you said no apologies, but god I’m so sorry” You blinked back the tears forming in your eyes as Lin affectionately placed his hand on your shoulder with a soft squeeze letting you know that it was ok.

“Talk to me” Lin said gently.


And you talked.

You finally talked.

All the things you hadn’t been able to say, finally got said. You told him how things weren’t always like this. How the early days of your relationship with Mark had been fun, how he’d made you feel good, how he used to be a nice guy. But then how he’d lost his job and ended up moving in with you far too quickly and now it doesn’t feel like your home anymore.

Lin didn’t look away, he nodded at you to continue, he never interrupted. When you found yourself unable to form words when things get too difficult, he lightly traced small soft circles on your shoulder with his thumb, inviting you to continue, but never pressuring you to speak. His eyes showing you that he unequivocally believed you.

In a moment of quiet you sipped your tea which had now turned cold.

“And when did he first hit you?” asked Lin, his tone solemn quiet.

“It wasn’t hitting to begin with” You explained. “He’d say things, yell things. He’d yell at me that I was a slut, that I was a whore, that I was disgusting. He’d tell me I was pathetic, that nobody would want me, he made me feel grateful that he even wanted me. He laughed at me, said that my music, my work was worthless, that soon everyone would see I was worthless. And after a while I guess I just started to believe it too. I know that sounds stupid. I mean I know I’m stupid.”

Lin shook his head and stared at the floor, his mouth opened then closed, as though he was about to speak but forced himself not to before taking a breath.

“You aren’t stupid” he whispered.

You told him about the first time he’d hit you. The black eye, the marks on your wrist, the way he’d pulled your hair.

You told him about how Mark had seen the video, about how Jasmine’s words had antagonized him. How angry he’d been.

“And if that wasn’t enough, he heard me drunkenly refer to you as cute in that video, and boy was he gonna punish me for that”.

Lin turned his head to stare at you in that moment, his eyes were wild.

“It was nothing, I was drunk, but he heard it. And that’s why it’s my fault. That night he…. Well I don’t think I can even say out loud the things he called me that night, I don’t think I ever want to hear those words again” You swallowed hard.

“That night I guess I was just a punching bag for him. He told me he’d hit me where nobody would see. He punched me so hard I couldn’t breathe. I just remember him kicking me in the stomach and then nothing. I think I passed out from the pain.”

You swirled the mug of half drunk cold tea in your hands and breathed deeply. You had said it. You’d finally told someone. You felt lighter and free but also in utter shock from your own words, you’d not heard them said out loud before.

You looked over at Lin. He was still staring at the floor. His knee bounced while slowly shaking his head. His hands were in two tight fists, his knuckles white which he flexed and tensed. He muttered in Spanish under his breath

“…Voy a matarlo”

“Lin?”

He looked up at you. He couldn’t keep the anger out of his face this time.

“I’m sorry. I just… god I just can’t believe that someone has done this to you!” He spat out in a rage. “That this fucking scumbag thought he had the right to do this to you. It just….”

Lin sat back against the couch, running his hands back through his hair, exhaling in exasperation.

He looked at you biting his lip, biting back the rage and steadying himself.

He lowered his voice.

“This wasn’t your fault. You know that right?”

“I know. But it’s also hard to really know that. When you hear that you’re a giant piece of shit for 4 months straight that becomes the only truth that you really know.”

Your eyelids felt heavy and you rubbed your temples. It was 3am. You’d talked for most of the night and you suddenly felt exhausted.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made you talk about this so much.” Lin said, standing up and reaching out his hand.

“Hey, this is the no apology zone remember” you said smiling sleepily, and you grabbed his hand as he lead you to the bedroom.  

You couldn’t keep your eyes open and Lin pulled back the sheets while you climbed in bed. You wanted to say more, you wanted to apologize at least a hundred times more, explain that you weren’t stupid, you wanted to figure out a plan of action, figure out what you were going to do about Mark, and then add a few more apologies in for good measure. But all you could mumble out was a sleepy “thank you” as your head hit the pillow.

Lin pulled the blanket over you and gently kissed your temple while whispering “Goodnight” before turning out the light and leaving you to sleep.

You woke up just 3 hours later in a panic. Where were you? Where was Mark? You caught your breath and tried to calm yourself down. Your eyes adjusted and you realised you were in Lin’s room. Last night’s confessional came flooding back and you realised it was ok,  you were safe. Mark wasn’t here.

You sat up in bed. The blanket, the pillows, your t-shirt all smelled of Lin: peppermint, his coconut shampoo, and something else, something warm and familiar. Looking at the empty space next to you in the bed you felt a pang of loneliness and the dawning realisation that you wished Lin was there with you. You rubbed your tired eyes. It was far too early in the morning to be having these kinds of confusing feelings. You at least needed coffee before sorting through those emotions.

You crept out of bed, heading down the hall hoping to get a glass of water from the kitchen without waking Lin. You stood in the doorway and a smile crept on your face. You didn’t have to worry about waking Lin. It was 6am and Lin was sitting cross legged on the sofa eating cereal watching cartoons with a dopey contented smile on his face.

“Morning!” you croaked

“Hey sleepyhead” he grinned moving up to give you space to join him on the sofa.

“Why are you even awake?” you laughed as you climbed up next to him, resting your head against his shoulder.

“I could ask you the same” he smiled.

He set his bowl of cereal down, putting his arm around you and greeting you with a friendly forehead kiss, which made your skin tingle. Oh yeah, this was definitely adding to the confusing crush building in your head. But you didn’t move away, you felt safe, and warm, and happy for the first time in months.

“So I’m guessing you didn’t sleep much?” he asked.

“Nah” you sighed. “But it’s ok, I actually feel good. There’s just still so much to sort out though.”

“This definitely calls for coffee then!”

Lin jumped up and brought back the pot of coffee from the kitchen and two mugs and for the rest of the morning you quietly watched old episodes of Powerpuff Girls under the blanket on the sofa in a comfortable sleepy silence. You were so relieved that he hadn’t pressed you for more details, thankful that he hadn’t tried to get you to talk any more. You were all cried out, and you were so grateful that there was no expectation for you to continue the intense conversations from the night before.

“You know you can stay here for as long as you need” Lin said finally, breaking the silence. “You don’t have to figure anything out just yet, we can deal with Mark stuff later when you’re feeling up to it.”

You nodded. You weren’t able to make any of the big decisions that morning. Decisions such as whether to go to the police, how to get Mark out of your home, how to move on with your life, and why you felt this strange nervous flutter inside you when Lin smiled at you. They would all need to wait for another time.

“Thank you” you said earnestly. “Honestly, for everything, just… thank you.”

He smiled before pulling you back into another hug. It’s a friendly gesture, you told yourself. But still, you felt tingles of confusion and excitement ripple through you as he pulled you back under his arm and kissed the side of your head. You shivered and turned to face him, your nose practically touching his. Your skin felt electric.

This wasn’t just a friendly gesture.

Neither of you spoke. Neither of you looked away.  He glanced down at your lips, his mouth opened and he gently cupped your cheek with his hand. He looked up at your eyes searching to see if this was ok. You saw the corners of his mouth turning up ever so slightly before he pulled you close to him and closed his eyes.

He kissed you so softly it tickled your lips. A small soft butterfly kiss that seemed to linger in slow motion as his bottom lip dragged lightly against yours. It lasted a second before Lin pulled back, removing his hand from your face and shaking his head, his eyes already full of apologies.

“God, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that” He shook his head and bit his lip.

You looked from his eyes, down to his lips and you didn’t even think. You leaned in and kissed him again. You caught him by surprise and pressed your lips to his.  He slowly began to kiss you back. They were small delicate quick kisses at first, turning into deep hungry desperate kisses, and you felt his hand in your hair, holding the back of your head pulling you closer to him, and his other hand caressing your cheek while his lips danced with yours. Strands of his hair brushed against your face as your pressed closer.

His lips felt urgent and warm and you felt his hand move from your cheek, slowly moving down your arm before wrapping around your waist. You gasped, your skin was still so tender to touch and you suddenly broke away from his lips, moving his hand away from the sore and aching bruise on your waist.

“Oh shit…” Lin began

“It’s ok it’s ok, I just… It still hurts” you winced.

“God, Y/N I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, we’re in a no apology zone, remember?” You smiled, but Lin didn’t smile back. He stared  down at your waist where you’d lifted up the t-shirt to inspect your bruise. Your skin was dark purple and blue, with yellow edges and his eyes were wide in panic.

“No, this is too soon. You’re vulnerable and not ok, and I don’t want to take advantage of you. I shouldn’t have done that.”

There was a stunned silence, and your face flushed with embarrassment. Of course he didn’t want to kiss you. Who would want to kiss you? You were ugly and pathetic, and isn’t this what Mark had always told you? You were worthless, you were nothing, you were a joke, and you all you heard was Mark’s cruel laughter ringing in your head.

“It’s ok” you said softly. “It was my fault, it was stupid. Let’s pretend that never happened ok? We’re just friends, I was confused and I overstepped, I’m sorry.”

(Mark was right, I’m pathetic. I’m ugly. I’m a joke)

You looked back at the tv, suddenly finding yourself incredibly immersed and engrossed in the latest Powerpuff Girls adventures avoiding all eye contact with Lin.

“Hey Y/N really, it’s ok, you didn’t overstep, I really wanted to…”

You cut him off

“Hey, so I should probably get dressed” you exclaimed, a little too brightly. “And I might need to head to Target and pick up some underwear or something.” You began clearing up the the mugs and Lin’s forgotten cereal bowl.

“And we still have Ham4Ham to work on today. I hope you’ve been practicing your Backstreet Boys!” You forced a wide grin.

Lin’s eyes narrowed.

“Are you ok?”

“Of course!” you smiled.

(I’m ugly. I’m worthless)

“Are we ok?”

You sighed and closed your eyes. “Yes of course we are. You’re absolutely right, that shouldn’t have happened. Let’s just keep things light and easy today, I think that’s all my brain can handle.”

(Mark was right)

Lin looked at you, studying your face before nodding slowly in agreement.

“Whatever you need, I’ve got you.”  

You nodded, unable to speak. Faking a smile and holding it together had become your speciality.

———-

Thanks for reading.  The 5th and final chapter is coming soon here!

No one wants to give-up on someone they love, such as a relative, friend or lover. But, sometimes we are forced to make hard decisions by extraordinary suffering. It’s easy to judge, or say, “never give-up,” until you have been there. Eventually, you begin to realize that life is too short and your powers to teach, influence or heal are limited. You finally accept that their emptiness, pain and dysfunction requires more than you have to give. You can’t hand your whole life and soul to someone who doesn’t even care about their own. Letting go is an excruciating heartbreak; mourning the death of what once was. If you did let someone go, and you still have guilt, it’s time to forgive yourself and begin to heal. If it is time to let someone go, for their sake, or for yours, then this may be your confirmation.
—  Bryant McGill
“You know what I need to get? Hiking Shoes”

Okay. Listen. 
This is a PSA. 

I live in a bowl surrounded by mountains. Hiking is completely normal here. I got nothing against hiking (except it’s a form of exercise) It’s beautiful, it’s serene, it’s wonderful to be a part of nature, I agree. 

But this little sentence in his liveshow scared me. 

NEVER HIKE ALONE.

I know countless people who have family members, friends, relatives, parents, dogs, people who are experts at hiking, who have found their unfortunate end because they hiked alone. 

It could be broad daylight. 
It could be on a super safe trail. A familiar one. 
It could be just a walk. 
It could be just a time where you slip your headphones in and drift your thoughts away along with the dirt. But it could be your last. 

Never. Hike. Alone. 

I know it seems like this is stupid or overprotective, like it seems like something everyone should know. I know there’s a few out there who are like “I’ve hiked countless times alone nothing has happened to me.” but I cannot stress how one little incident, one little “I’ll be back later don’t worry” can change in an instant. 
(also, tremors and earthquakes are more likely to happen on mountains/hills/fault-lines. it could be a little 2 on the seismograph, that can still change your position. anywhere can have an earthquake)

Dan. You already fell down a hill. I know you like to have time to yourself and hiking seems like a fun new little hobby to help clear your mind, be away from people, out and about, exploring new things and being one with nature; taking aesthetic photos, listening to music, but BRING PHIL WITH YOU. TAKE SOMEONE WITH YOU PLEASE. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. 

Summer is around the corner, it’s been getting awfully warm. But Dear God 
NEVER HIKE ALONE
PLEASE

If you have a friend or relative that is a nursing student...

Whenever you want to ask them how nursing school is going, don’t. Instead, just refer to this screencap. I promise you, this is how their nursing school is going.

if you have a child, student, patient (or any person under your care) with bpd, adhd, anxiety, or any other illness/disorder with these symptoms:

please do not purposefully leave them alone without anything to distract themselves with. being unable to tolerate extreme feelings of boredom is a symptom. we get so bored we literally want to die. we need constant stimulation. we’re like puppies. if you don’t give us toys or play with us, we will chew our paws all day. we may get scared or anxious and start hurting ourselves or engaging in unhealthy behaviors.

seriously, boredom can lead to self-destructive behavior. please be conscientious and remember that.

Life isn’t always about the big things; the weddings, funerals, babies, careers, homes, pets or new outlooks. Life can be about the small things. The aimless walks, the mindless babble, the made up theories, the ‘do you believe in aliens?’ and the guessing games. Anything you do, no matter how big or small, can affect your life and your ambitions. Take time to appreciate every little thing.
— 

I do believe in aliens, for the record by Amy Kennedy

26/07/16