friendly-advice

friendly advice to not revolve your life around one person, one feeling, one place, one memory, one problem. the complexity of life and the diversity of the world is beautiful and you have the right to explore it. do not settle for less. you deserve better.

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“So what’s new in Starkhaven?”

“Well, we’ve had an outbreak of yoga.”

“Yoga?  How could yoga be problematic?”

“…  gravity.”

Dear parents, if your child is spending all their time locked in their room listening to music and distancing themselves try talking to them and not calling them “lazy” thanks.

some things i hate abt each sign :^)
  • aries: if things don't go their way they'll throw a hissy fit & would prolly fight someone for looking @ them the wrong way
  • taurus: S T U B B O R N
  • gemini: always doing THE FUCKING MOST. u literally can't take them in public or they'll find a way to cause a ~scene~
  • cancer: bitches can hold a fucking GRUDGE. most likely to bring up something someone said at 2:46pm october 12 2004 & cry about it
  • leo: there's a 100% chance they will have a full-fledged breakdown if they don't get their required daily dose of attention™
  • virgo: fussy about the most unnecessary shit. most likely to judge someone on their ability to fold towels
  • libra: superficial & airheaded as hell. prolly has taylor swift lyrics in their instagram bio.
  • scorpio: manipulative ass bitches who regularly toy with ppl's emotions for fun
  • sagittarius: literally the most disloyal hoes out there. they enjoy taking people for granted & treating their friends like shit
  • capricorn: condescending bitches who blatantly criticize ppl's life decisions & disguise it as ~friendly advice~
  • aquarius: too aloof & detached to realize what the fuck is ever going on????????
  • pisces: passive aggressive as FUCK. the type of bitch to post cryptic blank snapchat stories with sad face emojis at least four times a week
Newt Scamander Masterlist

You bring me home (War Series): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Daddy Series: Start | Next Day | Tease | Praise | Beg | Dirty talk

Mermaid Series: Version 1 | Version 2

Modern AU Series: Part 1 | Part 2

Princess Series (DISCONT): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Prompts: 6, 62, 65 | 93 | 52 | 78 | 54 | 80 | 10 | 15, 93, 97 | 73 | 38

Angst: Wife dies during childbirth | Second choice | Heartbroken | Infertile | Pay attention | Stillborn | Sick Newt | Sulky Newt | It ain’t me | Comfort me | Happier | Leave me | Fight | Newt saying goodbye | Break up | Rejection

Smut/Risqué: Virgin Reader | Gin & Tonic | Blow Job | Doggy Style | Newt Kinks | Taking Virginity | Tattooed Reader | Lipstick | Frisky Newt | French | Catching Reader | Seduction | Frisky Reader | Lip Bite | Spanking | Morning After | Back Dimples | Eat Out | Morning surprise | Catching Newt | Riding Newt’s thigh | Distracted | Drunk Newt | Flirty Newt | Skirt | Jealous | Overexcited | Needy Newt | Thigh Riding | Settle down | Restraining Newt | Virgin Newt | Horny Newt | Wedding Night | Lingerie | Facesitting | Striptease | Orgasm in pants | Lake Sex | Wand | Newt giving oral | Newt Kinks 2 | Wearing Newt’s shirt | Rough Newt | Rough Newt | Legilimency | Shower Sex | Curvy Reader | Newt Undressing | Dirty Talking Newt | Bothering Newt | Love Bite | Secrets

Fluff: Beloved Pet | Wedding | Cuddling | Sleeping | Piggy Back | Hold hands | Hugs | I love you | Bath | Interruption | Freezing Feet | Shave | Giggly | Telling | Attention | Sleeping with creatures | Pregnant | Pajama Pants | Cuddling Reader | Curvy | Dancing | Yule Ball | Birthday | Flowers | Awkward Newt | Honeymoon | Welcoming Daughter | Scent | Newt as a father | So close | Picnic | Sick Reader | Goodnight Kisses | First sight | Wishes | Falling for you, literally | Cake | Stuffed animal | Kisses | With worry | Beautiful | Present | New Years Kiss | Picture imagine | Insecurities | Falling for you | Drunk Kisses | Short Reader | Injured Reader | Dating Newt

General: Impress me | Professor Reader | Make up artist | Newt with a dog | Temper tantrums | Student Newt | Baby wont stop crying | Piano | Body swap (Newtina) | False alarm | Catching reader undressing | First Steps | Slapping Newt | Slytherin Newt | Morning Sickness | Shrooms | Tired Newt | Drawing Newt | Anxiety | Glasses | Gatsby Party | Crushing | Comfort | Friendly advice | Want a baby | Drunk reader | Helping with nightmares | Vampire Reader | Pining Newt | Injured Child | Arranged | Baby Blues | Deaf Reader | Test | Adopt | Singer Reader | Play fighting | Bad Niffler | Pollen | Theseus Imagine | Sick baby | Surprise Twins | Father Newt | Dancer Reader | Artist reader | Jealous Newt | Sing | Storm | Bondage | Newt as a drunk | Mating Dance | Ravenclaw Bestfriend | Robber | Cowgirl | Saving you | Criminal | Basket Baby | Stow away

I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations — one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it — you will regret both.
—  Soren Kierkegaard, Either/Or

Turns out I hate when people sugar-coat requests. When you’re giving me a job to do, I just want you to be direct about it - I don’t need you to hold my hand and cajole me into action. If you’re in charge, give me my orders. Do not attempt to disguise them as friendly advice or favors. Sure, this is lovey-dovey camp and we’re all one big family, but at the end of the day, cut the bullshit and just tell me what you want done so I can do it.

I’m really tired of people giving me orders in the form of questions - “Hey Ship, do you want to give up your day off and do all this extra work instead?” No, I do not want to do that. Why do you give me an affronted look and then explain that you weren’t really offering me a choice? Don’t ask me if I want to do something if I only have one option. Just tell me that you need me to do X and I will do X. There’s no reason to put us both in an awkward position.

Complice

Originally posted by apgujeon

Park Jimin. Hogwarts!au. 7k words. Fluff. 

↠ Unraveling the reasons to Park Jimin’s assortment into Slytherin.


Park Jimin, for lack of a better word, is magnetic. An eye catching grandeur. A brilliant meteor cutting through the dead of the night. A glitter of gold and silver. It is no exaggeration when you say you would find yourself singling him out of many other ground-swept robes, clicking heels, wand wielders. It’s not the hair, no –not the locks of fireplace or charcoal ashes, it isn’t also the distinct pitch weaving through buzzing chatters nor is it the recurring dark smoke filling the air at the back row in charms. Thinking of the reason alone sends a pang of melancholy through your veins as your mind tries to block out the patches of defiled memories almost instinctively. But the unavoidable fact of the matter is, Jimin was once your world.

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Tell me about a situation spread

This is the spread I use most often when doing general readings for other people. It’s great for figuring out and clarifying sticky situations, laying out what you can do to get through them.

1. Something from the past

This card is more of a skill or a set of skills that you’ve already learned that will come in handy during this situation.  

2. What you want to happen

This card is relatively straightforward, outlining more of what you want out of the situation.

3. What you need to do instead 

A lot of the time, this card will be something very different from the second card, but not always.

4. What you need to keep in mind

This card can be anything from friendly advice to an outside perspective and will gently tell you something that may be a good idea for you to try out.

5. Something in the future

This card is in place more to keep this situation from happening again, kind of a safeguard of what you can do to prevent it.
The time of day that each sign represents!

Aries: The colourful sky that the sun paints with its rays as it settles down, disappearing behind the other side of the tired earth (sunset). This represents their happy personality and mesmerizing beauty.

Taurus: Sunrise, which can either be really amazing or make one upset (wants to sleep obvs). It showcases their personality. They can be the happiest person alive but when they’re upset, you’d want to steer clear of them.

Gemini: Late morning, around the same time that they usually sleep in late until. It can be seen in two very accurate perspectives. They feeling really lazy or they’ve had an eventful night and now needs LOTS of rest.

Cancer: Portrayed as late evening (7-8pm) when the world is peaceful, supper is being made (NB lots of salt added) and it’s prime time for scrolling to find memes or literally making a cocoon in bed and sleeping.

Leo: They represent 3am because this is when anything is possible in your mind. This represents that their personality can either be as dark as the night will be or as as bright as the sun that will rise in a few hours.    

Virgo: 11:11 (am or pm) because they’re full of happiness and opportunities! Always able to count on them to make you feel better or offer some friendly advice. Literally the only wish you need.

Libra: Early afternoon, literally the peak of everyday when the sun is almost as blinding as their dazzling smile. Anything that happens at this time can either make or break your day, just like their presence.  

Scorpio: Midnight, when you’re all alone with your thoughts. Represents their love for being alone and enjoying some “me time” while absorbing the quietness.

Sagittarius: 10pm, the moment you remember the homework you should’ve done. In other words, represents their loving yet forgetful soul. No matter how tough it gets they always persevere and are determined to finish what needs to be done.

Capricorn: The early early morning before the sun rises when most of the world still sleeps in darkness while the other half buzzes with the on goings of people. This represents their exciting and busy life while still having another side of them that not many people know about.

Aquarius: Late afternoon, that time after lunch when you’ve just stuffed yourself with like five helpings of dessert and you can’t move anymore but you still want to get up to go get more but it’s too far so you just kinda lie around. Yeah that’s basically it. Food fanatic forever (check that alliteration).

Pisces: Time ??? what’s that ??? who has time for anything when staying in bed and exploring the dark inter-web is an important thing ???

Your source for the big pile of black crime statistics will say that the mainstream media ignores the “inconvenient” truth about race. And how, they ask, can data be evil? My answer to this clearly rhetorical question is, “When it’s stripped of human context.” This is why, right off the bat, you should always ask, “Even if all of your numbers are true, what do you propose we do about it?”

Among “race realists” (as some call themselves), there is a spectrum of answers. On the extreme end is ethnic cleansing of society until only whites remain (the position of white nationalists like Richard Spencer).

At the other end, they “only” call for reducing government benefits/immigration (as seen in the book The Bell Curve), figuring that making life more difficult for the genetically inferior races will discourage them from breeding. But most will avoid the question. They’ll say something like, “I don’t know, but the first step is being honest about it!” or “I’m not advocating anything, I’m just sharing objective data!”

They’re dodging for a reason. History has taught us that behind the curtain of “using data to figure out which race is best” is usually an intent to inflict real suffering on actual human beings. They are trying to get you in the back of the limo without revealing the destination, because they know you’d object.

You are a decent person. We’ve established that. But to remain decent, you cannot let a shroud of cold numbers obscure a pile of cold bodies.

Some Brief, Friendly Advice About Race And Racism

Hey, James? Just a little friendly advice….

If you want to ride Louis’ coattails to fame you should maybe not imply his fans (ya know, the fans you want to buy your shit) are grudge-holding conspiracy nuts. That’s not exactly the best way to win people over.

You may have grown in some ways, but you still sound like the same condescending asshole you’ve always been.