friendly jokes

sometimes I wanna reply “bitch me too” to my mutuals posts but I’ve never talked 2 them so they might not see it as friendly joking so i just dont


“Go, be free, be free, be free!

First of all, sorry for the slow responses! I forgot that I had to work a shift today, so I wasn’t around all afternoon. Which didn’t leave much time for me to write, but here I am, so lets do this (until I inevitably disappear to get some sleep)! Also I’ve gotten some very lovely asks but I wanted to write this down before I forgot. I thought of this headcanon while I was working and it’s too damn good not to share:

Alright, this happens at some point after CW but before Thanos shows up. The team (without Bucky, who’s still in Wakanda, working on getting his head cleared) is back in the US, having signed some form of revised accords. Steve is no longer team leader, but otherwise they’ve gotten off fairly easily with little repercussions. The tension between the old and new Avengers is obvious and especially Tony is met with outright hostility. It doesn’t help that Rhodey still isn’t in any shape to join the fights and is rarely around.

One day Clint signs Tony up for a parenting class. It’s another not-nicely-meant joke because of all the criticism Tony’s gotten for letting Peter fight. Only, the thing nobody expected? Tony actually goes. Because apparently he’s just that masochistic (apparently part of him still desperately wants to fix, to work things out between them). It earns him a lot of harsh ridicule, but Tony finishes it all the same.

Thing is, the Team Cap is so busy making fun of him, they don’t even notice when things start changing. Little things. When Steve walks into an argument between Clint and Tony and asks the latter “What have you done now?” disappointedly, Tony doesn’t snap something, get defensive or flee. He says “Have you ever noticed that you’re always immediately assuming I’m the one who has done something?”. It earns him another hurtful comment from Clint, and the incident is forgotten.

Until. Until, one day, during a debrief, Steve snaps. “She’s just a kid, Tony!” he yells when Tony keeps insisting on harder training for Wanda.

There’s a moment of silence, before, “Oh. Really? Does everyone agree with that?”

“You’re still not done catching up, Stark? So much for the futurist,” Clint sneers, and the matter is dropped. Or so it appears.

For the rest of the meeting, Tony is quiet. Thoughtful. In retrospect, they should’ve taken it for the warning it was.

That evening, when Wanda orders a new dress online, FRIDAY dispassionately informs her the transaction is impossible, as the price goes beyond her monthly allowance.

After a fruitless shouting match with the AI, she goes to Steve. Who (after a just as fruitless shouting match) goes to Tony. Who shrugs. “You told me she’s just a kid. Nobody, not even she herself, disagreed. I’m treating her like one.”

Suddenly, M-rated movies are inaccessible whenever Wanda is in the room. Once her curfew is reached, all electric devices go into sleeping modus (unless in case of an emergency of course). Talking with Tony, screaming at Tony, proves to be completely useless. Tony refuses to budge. Repeats lessons from his parenting class, about enforcing rules and teaching children boundaries.

And it doesn’t end there. The entire team is cut off from Tony’s money–Steve has to admit, he’s entitled to that, and maybe the team has gotten a bit too used to throwing Tony’s money around. That’s not the bad part anyways, they all have their own salaries from the government, they can still live. Just maybe a little more limited than before.

But suddenly the services they’ve become accustomed to are cancelled. They have to buy groceries themselves. There is no cleaning crew after Wanda throws a temper tantrum–she has to clean it herself or one of her ‘staunch defenders’, as Tony calls them, has to do it for her. New furniture doesn’t magically appear out of thin air, they have to buy it. And suddenly–suddenly the costs are starting to add up.

There’s a list pinned to the fridge one morning–on paper even–with their chores, going from doing the dishes to the laundry, that rotate every week. Who hasn’t fulfilled his one has to do all the chores the next week. FRIDAY keeps track of it, and barring missions and injuries, there are no exceptions.

Being grounded is an honest to god possibility now, including all electronics, for when they break one of the House Rules. And they are all enforced ruthlessly.

They all try to talk to Tony about it–they aren’t children, they don’t have to put up with this shit, it wasn’t funny to begin with, when is he gonna stop this already–but he remains unmoved.

It’s all “You told me Wanda is a kid,” and “I am allowed to set rules, considering you’re living under my roof. And there really is no excuse for breaking them, you are all aware they exist and why. They’re reasonable and you know it.”

And the most damning of them all. “If you’re so grown up and independent, you know where the door is. Walk out. This isn’t a prison, and you’re always welcome back, provided that you’re following the rules. You can walk away any time you want.”

Suffice to say, Clint is getting a lot of shit for signing Tony up for that parenting class. (Tony tells him he really appreciates it because clear communication is important.)

“Customers are annoying when they’re nice and friendly if you make jokes I’ll wish you were dead”

See this is why none of y'all on this site have jobs

So, let’s try an AU where the bats are complete isolationists.

I mean, they’ve had contact with the world outside Gotham and villains outside Gotham, but they’ve completely and totally avoided other heroes.

So, There’s a Justice League, but no Watchtower.

There’s a Teen Titans, but without the Robins.

There’s a Red Hood, but no Outlaws.

Tim’s Young Justice never existed because they just joined the Titans.

No one is allowed in Gotham - meta or not. Gotham is theirs.

So, you have all the other heroes and then you have the Bats.

And, frankly, the other heroes are a little wary of the bats. They have no idea who they are or what they’re capable of?

They’re from Gotham - they live in Gotham and take care of Gotham and Gotham is one of the most dangerous cities in America, if not the world. Gotham’s villains are crazy. 

And if the bats are taking care of that, then they have to be… well, pretty dangerous. No one wants to cross them. And even though they want to find out what their powers are, no one wants to risk going into Gotham after that time Superman tried it and came out 5 minute later with a sliver of kryptonite embedded in his arm (just because no one knows about the bats, doesn’t mean the bats don’t now about everybody.)

And then comes the moment when the bats have to break their isolation.

Keep reading

I can’t get over the fact that Liam routinely compiles mixtapes for Ryder with pretty much every email, just because he thought they would like that sort of stuff

he just looks at episodes of Community and soaps and all sorts of media and thinks "this is some neat stuff! Let’s share it with Ryder!”

he’s such a sweetheart I love him

a-sisi-universe  asked:

i love your blog, could you do a drabble in which draco is really obviously flirting and harry is super oblivious, and the draco gives up and kisses him? thanks in advance!!

((I hope you don’t mind, I combined your prompt with one very vague anon prompt…also, I accidentally wrote 1.2k instead of a tiny drabble so I figured you may forgive me.))

“You don’t understand!  After the end of the year, I don’t really see us being around each other much.  I feel like I’m running out of time.  If I don’t do something soon, I’ll lose my chance with him forever!” Draco said.

“Poor thing, can’t imagine what it’s like to lose your chance with a crush, forever, only to be stuck in a toilet, forever…” Myrtle sobbed.

Draco was very used to navigating the ghost’s moodswings, “Of course you can. That’s why you are so important to me.  I didn’t go to any of my other friends, did I?  And I didn’t start talking about myself until after I fixed the lock on your favorite stall?”

Myrtle sniffled. “I guess.  But maybe he just doesn’t like boys.”

“I asked Weasely if he did,” Draco said, “and it wasn’t a pleasant conversation. I only asked if Harry liked boys and he started shouting at me. ‘He can like whoever he wants. You got a problem with that?’ Then he stood up like he was ready to fight me.”

Myrtle almost laughed, “Well, if he turns you down, just remind him that he can come see me any time he likes.”

Harry was his potions partner, his roommate since the eighth year rooming assignments were posted, even his friend.  But Draco wanted more.  He had always wanted more.  Draco had admitted that to himself almost at the beginning of the school year.  Harry never exactly turned him down, either.  That just made everything maddening.

He invited Harry to Hogsmeade the month before.  When Harry accepted, Draco was over the moon.  He came crashing back down to Earth when he grabbed Harry’s hand.  Harry had just stopped walking and looked at Draco.

“What?” Harry asked, pulling his hand out of Draco’s.

Draco panicked, “I, er, do you mind if we stop in to the quidditch supply shop? I need some polish.”

“Well, yeah.  I thought that was what we were here for,” Harry said.  

“I guess I thought we were multitasking,” Draco said.

A week later, in Potions, Harry was leaning over the cauldron to see if it smelled like burnt cinnamon yet as the assignment indicated.  His hair had gotten longer than Draco had ever seen it and he just couldn’t keep his hands to himself.  He reached over and ran his fingers through the thick, black tangle of hair, tucking it behind Harry’s ear.

“I wasn’t going to get my hair in the potion,” Harry said. “It’s not that long.”

Draco let out a deep sigh. “I know.”  He made himself look away from Harry only to make eye contact with Weasley who promptly made an I’m-watching-you gesture.

The following weekend, someone asked the house elves to bring cappuccinos and lattes up “as study aides, obviously” and Draco tried to care about the cappuccino in front of him, but he couldn’t stop watching Harry.  He almost choked on air as he watched Harry run his tongue along the rim of his mug, licking the chocolate from the edges of his cafe mocha.  

Draco couldn’t keep his eyes off Harry’s lips.  Draco reached up and brushed his thumb over Harry’s bottom lip.

Harry pulled away. “Do I have chocolate on me?” Harry asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

Completely crestfallen, Draco just shook his head. “You’re good.”  Before he went back to his Transfiguration essay, he caught eye contact with Weasley who was trying very hard not to laugh.

Earlier this week, Draco walked into their room to catch Harry dancing quite ridiculously to some muggle love song.  Harry blushed beautifully, and Draco grabbed his hands and danced with him.  By the end of the song, they were a bit closer than just hand-in-hand and both laughing.

“Why can’t all of my friends be so forgiving when I’m caught doing something silly?” Harry asked. “Hermione danced with me, but Ron never would.“ 

“I wouldn’t say ‘never,’” Weasley said from the doorway.

“Glad I could keep your dignity intact.  I only came in, for, er,” Draco looked around, “this,” he said, grabbing an ink bottle off his desk.  Weasley stared him down as he left the room.

Tonight, they sat in the common room celebrating the end of the first round of exams.  Draco couldn’t keep his eyes off Harry.  He laughed at Harry’s jokes, gave him a friendly shove when those jokes were at Draco’s expense.  Draco melted every time Harry’s leg bumped his own.  He intentionally moved a little closer when he thought it would make Harry’s shoulder brush his own. Then a conversation started taking over the group as a whole.

“I think a first kiss should always be discussed,” Pansy said. “It’s too presumptuous to assume an eye flutter and a smile would mean it’s okay to kiss.”

“It’s just because you’re a massive flirt,” Blaise said.

“Pots and kettles,” Hermione said. “I don’t know, I think it’s important to get consent, but implied consent between two people, depending on the people and the situation, could be okay.”

“I guess that tells you where I stand,” Weasley added. “How ‘bout you Harry? Negotiate kissing or surprise kissing?“ 

Harry shifted in his seat, "I don’t know.  It’s kind of hard to imagine anyone really wanting to kiss me.  Especially now, I mean, I don’t even know any other guys who prefer guys.”

Weasley stared at Draco before looking back at Harry, “Question still stands.  If one of us,” he said, waving a hand at the men in the group, “decided we fancied you.  Would you insist we asked permission?”

Draco’s head was going fuzzy.  Maybe he needed to remind himself to breathe.

“You trying to admit something there, Ron?” Harry laughed.

“Answer the question, dude,” Weasley said.  More than a couple people were looking at him like he’d sprouted a second face.

Harry threw his hands up in defeat, “What is the deal? Why are you getting so worked up over this? No. No. No I’m not opposed to surprise kisses! No, kiss consent isn’t something I insist on. No.  Okay. No-”

Before he realized he was moving, Draco had Harry’s face in his hands and his lips on Harry’s.  

“Thank fuck!” Weasley shouted.

Draco kissed Harry roughly, months of oblivious rejections be damned. When he felt Harry’s hands on him, he worried for the briefest moment that Harry would push him away.  It didn’t happen.  Harry’s arms circled his waist, pulling him closer as he kissed Draco back.  And, oh sweet Merlin, he moaned against Draco’s lips.  

Draco pulled away enough to ask, “How the bloody hell did you not know I like men?!”

Harry laughed, “Too much to hope for, I guess.”

Weasley, one of the few who hadn’t left while they were practically devouring each other, said, “He’s only been throwing himself at you for years, mate. And, Malfoy, I’d say it’s about bloody time you made a move but in your defense, you’ve been putting moves on him all year.”

Harry started to say something, but Draco cut him off with a kiss.

“Want to go discuss this, privately?” Draco asked.

Harry nodded. “Please.”

How to know if each sign likes you

I get these questions all the time and thought it would be easier to condense it into a masterpost. 

Aries: Frequent eye contact, bold staring contests, wide smiles, curious tilts of the head, frequent attempts to start conversation, friendly jokes and stories, somewhat obvious attempts to get to know you. An Aries wants to break open your shell and see your true self! 
Taurus: This sign is a lot more subtle. They seem to give off a welcoming, vibrant vibe when they like someone. Wide smiles, charming conversation, trying to get physically and mentally closer to you.. They will respond to you more than they do with most people, simply put.
Gemini: Wit and humor is a Gemini’s telltale sign. They can act charmingly cocky or witty; they will try to engage you in playful banter. If their eyes light up when they make you smile or laugh, you know they like you.
Cancer: Cancers can be playfully coy when it comes to this. Meeting your eyes and looking away, twirling their hair, smiling more around you, playfully touching your arm or nudging you… They will appear somewhat shy but flirty.
Leo: Leos are bold flirts(of course!) They can be very charming and devious when it comes to showing their affection. Challenging you, playfully fighting with you, making it their personal goal to make you laugh as much as possible… They’re generally pretty bold, but in a curious, almost childlike way.
Virgo: A Virgo craves knowledge when they begin to like someone. They’ll ask you your opinion on things, your likes, your dislikes, your goals, etc. If they make an effort to hang around you, such as asking you to coffee, or sitting by you at lunch, it’s a telltale sign.
Libra: Libras are a challenge, because they are naturally charming and somewhat flirty. When they are sweet and somewhat shy, this is your key. They’ll notice little things about you, or be aware of your needs; if it’s cold, they might put their jacket around your shoulders, things like that. They’ll be childlike and gentle in their affection.
Scorpio: This is actually an incredibly easy one, because Scorpios are very selective with their company. If a Scorpio is very intrigued by you, asking you a lot of questions about yourself and making jokes with you, they like you. They might be sarcastic or bitingly charming. Another telltale is if they’re slightly shy in your presence and do things like biting their lip, rubbing their neck, and blushing. Scorpios are pretty confident in front of everyone but their love interest.
Sagittarius: A Sagittarius’s goal is to make you laugh when they like you; but unlike a witty Gemini, a Sag will do cutesy and ridiculous things to gain your attention. They’re very humorous when they like someone, maybe even dorky at times, but in a way that makes them shine. 
Capricorn: Like Scorpio, this one can be obvious. If a Capricorn is slightly shy around you, asks you a lot about yourself, keeps intense eye contact, and generally goes out of their way to talk to you, this is a huge sign. They might be a little bit shy, but they’ll relax when you talk to them more. They’ll probably smile more around you and make more jokes. 
Aquarius: They can be pretty forward. Making lots of eye contact, asking your opinion on a lot of subjects, engaging you in intellectual conversations, trying to figure you out… These are all signs. I’ve noticed that Aquas tend to make you laugh and will say a lot of obviously flirty things to gauge your reaction.
Pisces: A Pisces is very curious when they like someone; they want to get involved with you! For instance, they might go to your art gallery or soccer game. They want to show you with actions that they care about you. They’ll engage you in a lot of theoretical conversations and might open up to you about their imagination. 

Q&A stuff, pub schedule

magic-magnus-heaven-sin said: Hey Cassie! Is it true that there is going to be a set of short stories leading up to TLH, much like TFSA or TBC?

That was the plan. However. Right now my publishing schedule is in chaotic flux. It’s changing as we speak, and probably every book is getting a new release date, and some books will be switched around. So brace yourself; it’s likely short stories are coming, but right now the actual dates for the books need to be confirmed and then I’ll post a schedule of what you can expect.

nymeriavipe said:Hi Cassie, I have only one question, what are the “Dark Artifices”? Will we know them someday?

Yes, the Dark Artifices will be identified in Book Three. 

1irene-and-the-world-of-gold6 said:Hey Cassie!!! Ummm I was thinking about that one snippet where Lucie tells Cordelia that James is in love and Cordelia is just like, Cordelia: WHAT!! Andthen Lucie said that he won’t say with who, “he’s Jamie and he never tells us anything,” and I was wondering if James and Lucie’s relationship is like Anna and Elsa’s (from Frozen) though not the part where Elsa locks herself in her room, leaving Anna to sing alone, more like how Elsa is distant and doesn’t really talk about like her life etc.

I don’t think of James as distant from his family, at least not most of the time. He’s quite close with Lucie and a friendly, funny practical-joking brother. He isn’t obsessed with taking care of her like Julian, because he has perfectly competent parents who take good care of both of them. I would say that if you’ve read The Midnight Heir you know James is keeping the fact that he’s in love from his family, and he has complicated but significant reasons to do that. Since he isn’t telling them about it, (or really the fact that any relationship with this person exists in his life at all) that creates a distance between him and his family, because there’s this important emotional thing he can’t talk about. But he isn’t distant from them in general.

dont-say-stupid-things said: Cassie! Thank you so much for giving us that Kierark short story! Thank you!!! <3 Is there any way it can be turn into a printed short story (for everyone)? Is there any possibility of a compilation of all these short stories to come out as a book? Thank you. I love Kieran with all my heart and soul. <3

Maybe as part of a collection? There’s no distribution mechanism for printed stories that are that short, bookstores don’t carry them etc. Though I write these stories for free out of love for you fine folk, I’d like to bind them up into an anthology someday so the money could go to charity.

Family Friendly Felix is equipped with a nifty little shock collar so if he even thinks of doing something that isnt PG approved, he receives a small shock until the thoughts pass. Sometimes he really cant stand how painful the shocks are, and sometimes they feel just dandy. 

Hockey Pucks | Jungkook (m)

Prompt: Um, Jungkook is a hockey player, but basically what happened was that it had very little to do with hockey and very much to do with sex. You’re both college students and apparently opposites really do attract just like they do in the movies.

Warnings: (18+) use of marijuana, smut (lmao what’s new), and an accidental mommy kink

Word Count: 8.4k

A/N: Yo, this spiraled very quickly and turned into a monster long fic. ANYWAy thanks 4 readin. No excuses or regerts…

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

Originally posted by tanktoptiger

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Your friends all crushing on Jason Todd

•Jason Todd was this cool and mysterious guy to your friends

•"I bet he’s a nerd.“ You would say every time they fawned over him

•They all had MAJOR crushes on this supposedly bad boy

•You on the other hand was forcibly dragged out of your comfortable home so they can *cough* stalk *cough* Observe Jason Todd

•"Y/N, isn’t he super hot?” Your friend would question
•"I mean I guess those white streaks in his hair are pretty cool?“

•You didn’t want to admit it, but he was gifted with some good looks
•but o'course that wasn’t everything you looked in for a man

•It wasn’t until much later that he and his friend Roy would come to hang out with your group.

•It happened at a bar, your friends very drunk decided that they wanted to go home with Jason Todd

•"Oh gosh, I’m sorry about this.” As you pulled one of your friends off of him. “They been obsessing about you for a while now.”
“Does that include you?” He questioned with a grin.
“Obsessing? No, but interested to see who you are. Yes.”

•Fast food and ice cream meet ups were very common

•He always pats your head when you guys meet up, claiming because you were just so short

•Usually sits next to you when going out to eat

•Friendly banter and joking amongst all of you of who would end up with Jason

•"Would’ve been funny if he ended up with Y/N huh?“ Roy says with a subtle smug grin to Jason

•Everyone laughs proclaiming you seem the least interested in him

•Jason may have kicked Roy under the table??

•Randomly he would show up to your house and say hi
•You thought he did that to the rest of your friends (lol nope)

•Later you found out he loved literature
•Very deep discussions about The Catcher and The Rye

•You slowly started to like Jason, not for his rogue attitude, but how he acted when no one else was around

•You didn’t know he liked you back until one day when you both were sitting on the couch he slowly put his arm around you and gently leaned his head on you

•"You know that I like you Y/N, right?”

•You froze

•Heart was beating 1000x per second

•"Y-yeah.. I friends are going to kill me.“
"Because I like you?”
“No, Because I like you.”