friend calamari

anonymous asked:

I bet second choice ObiWan felt really guilty when he learned that Palpatine was a Sith and he was spending so much time with Anakin. I wonder how that would go down between the two, ObiWan feeling guilty for neglecting his padawan and Anakin being horrified that he trusted a Sith more than his own master and friend

“…What do you mean he’s a sith?” Obi-Wan whispered, staring at the four Senators standing in front of the Jedi Council. Blood was roaring through his ears as he kept his focus on Padme.

“That we’ve found evidence of him meeting and calling Count Dooku and the Count kneeling for him. I’m sorry Master Kenobi.” She looked to the Twi’lek beside her, the man stepping forward to show them all the recording.

Suddenly the murder attempts on Obi-Wan made so much more sense by the Chancellor, suddenly so many things were clicking into place, like missing pieces of a puzzle being found from under the couch cushions.

And Obi-Wan felt nauseous. Dizzy.

This was the man that had meet with Anakin since the blond was young. Barely a teen, Palpatine had insisted at the time and the Council couldn’t deny the Supreme Chancellor but suddenly that didn’t matter because…because an adult should have gone with.

Obi-Wan should have gone with him to these meetings they had.

The council had suspected it, but that had been all, suspicions were not enough to prove anything but now…now they had evidence, evidence that Sheev Palpatine was indeed a sith lord. And that meant that he had been meeting with Anakin in private, talking with him in private since the age of…

“Oh Force…” Obi-Wan couldn’t keep it up anymore, he leaned forward, resting his forehead against his knees and took stuttering breaths. “He’s been grooming my padawan. Oh Force he’s tried to…if he’s touched Anakin any way, I’m going to to karking murder him. Hang diplomacy!”

Hands were on his shoulders, pulling him up to meet Mace eyes as the other man held onto the thin shoulders with tight but comforting hands. “Obi-Wan, breath, you need to breath. You need to stop broadcasting. You’re panicking.” The Korun ordered.

“If he’s touched my padawan Mace, I’m gonna slice him up.” Obi-Wan wheezed out, eyes wide. “That hutt spawned, no good chuba e chu ta! Jedi vows be damned!”

A large hand wrapped around the back of his neck and pulled him forward until Obi-Wan’s forehead was resting against Mace. “Deep breaths Obi-Wan, release your panic into the Force. This is not the time or the space for these words. You need to breath, you need to release your emotions.” The Korun coaxed, not letting go of the remaining shoulder he had as he watched the younger man dissolve in front of them.

He continued talking, coaxing until he felt the younger man do as told, releasing his emotions to the Force as he was taught from creche age.

“…Skywalker would be proud of you pulling the most vulgar huttnese insult I’ve ever heard.” He offered once the other was calm enough.

“He’s the one who taught me it.” Obi-Wan whispered. “…Mace, Mace what do I do? I sent my own padawan to a Sith lord. Alone. I…I had so much to do…and he insisted he was alright. But he was twelve. I should have…I can’t…”

Mace squeezed. “Time and place Obi-Wan. Can you keep calm for the rest of the meeting? Or do you want me to call Knight Eerin to bring you to your quarters. Call your commander?”

There was quiet in the chambers before Obi-Wan spoke up. “I’m to personally invested in this. I don’t think…I can’t…THINK.” He sent almost a nervous look towards Yoda but the troll only nodded.

“Agree I do. Personally invested in our padawans we are. Their fates…if left you did, fine it would be. Facts you need relayed later can be.” Obi-Wan closed his eyes, wondering when he had become broken goods.

“You’re not broken goods Obi-Wan.” Depa offered quietly from her chair, standing and moving over to her former master and her friend as she offered him a gentle hand. “We’ve been sending you into dangerous situation since before you became a knight. We sent you through every space in the war and expected you to be fine.”

Obi-Wan took the hand offered to him and then Mace when it was offered, letting the two pull him to his feet though strictly speaking he only needed one hand.

“And then you hit a wall.” Mace continued, squeezing his friends hand. “And you hit it hard. And no one was there to pick you up. And for that…your family, the order, is sorry.”

Obi-Wan stared at them in confusion for a few moments before giving a little breathy laugh. “…Call Bant would you Mace? I think…I think I need a friendly face at the moment. If I’m broadcasting… I think I need a friendly face.” He squeezed their hands. “But…thank you…both of you.” He let go, giving the Senator’s a minor bow before heading to the elevators, knowing Bant would either find him at the doors or in the hallway. She’d always been quick.

“Master Kenobi is still very unwell, is he not.” The Twi’lek Senator offered gravely.

“He’s human. And unfortunately, the galaxy has sent him through the mincer without offering him succor or harbor for much to long. Now his body and mind is demanding his needs be heard.” Depa offered calmly as she reclaimed her seat, Mace contacting the Mon Calamari friend of Obi-Wan.

Padme quietly watched the elevator door, a lump forming in her stomach, she’d have to inform Anakin and she dreaded when she did to see his reaction.


The scent of salt and sea was in his nose as he rested his head on Bant’s shoulder, her comforting arm around his shoulder as they sat together on his meditation mat. Carefully, they floated a small orb between each other.

A creche game.

They were to old for using the Force in this manner.

But it was soothing old fears and thoughts as Obi-Wan focused on the small orb and his friend. The sensation of her arm around his shoulder.

“…Better Obi?” She whispered as she floated the orb into her hand.

“No…but calmer.” He returned, keeping his voice at her level as she squeezed him gently.

“Good. Can you tell me what made you upset?”

“Not…this time, council business that…hit to close.” He sighed.

She made an understanding, humming noise. “Think you could eat something?”

“I guess. Don’t really feel hungry but…”

“But schedule. I know.” She shifted and got up, offering him her hands and pulling him up, keeping him close. They heated up leftovers in his fridge, bantha stew that Anakin had cooked for him and some fluffy bread. Obi-Wan was grateful she didn’t overload his bowl with it and sent her a small smile.

He got a wink in return. “Want me to call for that Commander of yours? You look like you could do with some of his company.”


She laughed quietly. “Oh come of it Obi, its nice to see honestly. You deserved more then you got and you’re finally getting some of it. Once you’re healthy you should petition the council to send you of to a spa planet for a week with just you and Commander Cody.” He flushed darkly at that thought and spooned a bit of stew into his mouth to avoid answering.

His blush was answer enough for her though and she beamed at him.

“You’re evil.” He sighed then smiled slightly. “…But it is a good idea.”

I’m a sex-repulsed asexual. I’m not attracted to anyone sexually, and I’d like to keep all sexual activities as far away from me as possible.”
“But how can you not like sex? How can you not WANT sex? It’s great!”
“Imagine you have a friend. That friend is really allergic to most seafood, and hates the smell of it enough to have a pretty good idea that they’d hate the taste of it too. But you, you LOVE calamari. You keep bugging your friend to try calamari because if you love it, then everyone else must love it too, right? And your friend keeps saying ‘no, I don’t want it, please don’t make me eat it’ for a long time, but eventually gives in just to make you shut up. They hate the taste and then they throw up all over your shoes because, as earlier stated, they’re allergic. And you don’t understand why, because if you like calamari, then everyone else must like it too. Just because you want and like calamari doesn’t mean everyone else does. Just because you want and like sex doesn’t mean I do too.
—  Just a little comparison that I felt could somewhat accurately sum up my feelings on sex (and romance, but that’s even harder to explain to allo people).

anonymous asked:

I don't mind whichever AU this fits into cause tbh the world just needs more chubby soft obi-wan!!! Mesh this into anything u can we need this!!!

EDIT: I AM SO SORRY!!! I posted to the wrong ask! DDDDX I was suppose to post this on another and I just noticed it was still in my inbox and Oh my gosh I am so sorry…if it any relief though, this Obi-Wan will be plushy and loved?

Obi-Wan was doing his best not to look at Bant, staring instead at a very fascinating spot of cream colored white that didn’t fit in with the rest of the room. Yes, that was much better to look at then his gaping calamari friend.

Her shock and surprise was still itching its way through the Force and Obi-Wan shifted. “I think I should g-”

“Oh no you don’t Master Kenobi!” Bant grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing him to look at her. “What do you mean you don’t KNOW?” She stared at him.

“I mean…there are…several…options…for…um…”

“There are several OPTIONS?” She blinked and looked down at Obi-Wan’s stomach. “Are you telling me that you, Obi-Wan Kenobi, who knows he’s a carrier, has had unprotected intercourse with more then one person?” She looked like she wanted to either slap him or laugh.

“…Three?” Obi-Wan offered weakly in return.

“Oh…Oh Obi-Wan, what in Force name did you…” She choose the latter option and laughed, leaning back and rubbing her face. “…Okay, you’re pregnant, these tests clearly show that the hormone imbalance we found after your bacta treatment from Chancellor Palpatine’s…crash…” She winced, both bowing their heads a bit at the Chancellor’s unfortunate death. She soldiered on. “Are the signs of a baby in its ninth week, all vitals indicate a strong baby. So…who are the POTENTIAL fathers?”

The copper haired master squirmed a bit, rubbing the back of his neck. “I…well…” He sighed and blew his breath out. “…AnakinQui-GonBail.” He mumbled.

“…I am sorry, what was that?”

“I said…Anakin, Qui-Gon and Bail are the potentials.” Obi-Wan buried his face in his hands.

“…Your former master and lover. Your old padawan and not to forget chosen one apparently. And a senator that you once saved the life of… Oh Obi-Wan.” She cupped her own cheek, arm crossed over her bosom as she stared at him, eyes wide yet full of laughter. “You couldn’t make it easy on yourself.”

“No, I…look. I kind of…that is messed up. With Qui-Gon it was…easy, familiar…”

Hands on his hips, gentle and knowing where the pressure was wanted, safe haven in a war that had dragged on for three years. Exploring texture of new scars and old ones alike. The smell of musk, clean skin and tea.

“And when it comes to Anakin, well…I was just so damn happy we were all alive.”

Demanding lips on his, hands cupping his ass, pushing him to the bed as he eagerly tore at the others clothes in return. Engine oil and the smell of a forest, noises muffled against the back of a hand only for the hand to be pulled away and demands for the noises to be heard.

“As for Bail…he had so much Alderaniaan wine. Like there was a keg of wine, we drank it all together in celebration and I didn’t bother to filter it and…well…”

Trying touches, reverently as if not believing they were actually about to do what they were, experimental licks and slow kisses, steady exploration in a haze of alcohol and pleasure. Hands parting his thighs eagerly but with care.

He flushed and rubbed the back of his neck at the memories.

“…Obi-Wan, this was all…consensual right?”

“What!?” Obi-Wan’s head snapped up to stare at her before scowling. “Of course it was. I can quite easily kick any of these threes asses should I wish.”

“I’m just making sure.” She waved her hands. “You do know you don’t have to go through with this baby, yes?”

The copper haired master frowned at that then sighed. “No…I admit, this wasn’t planned but…its… not excatly unwelcome.” Obi-Wan looked down at his stomach and smiled faintly. “I mean…there’s this strange peace and lull that seems to be falling, after Dooku’s death, Grievous seems to have lost a lot of steam.”


“…So I’d like to stop being High General and just be…Obi-Wan.” The other shrugged. “With no more responsibilities then for what the little one might need. For food and warm and safety…is that…weird?”

“No Obi-Wan, its not. But you do know you’ll have to inform the council…or at least Master Yoda and Master Mace.” She grinned. “And about the potential paternity…who would you like it to be though?”

Obi-Wan blinked at that. Want it to be?

That was a difficult question when it could be any of them.

“I…I don’t know.”


“I mean…they may not have anything to do with the baby regardless if they are or aren’t the father. I will not force that choice on them.” He fiddled with the threads of his robe. “…But…out of those three…I was in a four year long relationship with Qui-Gon when the war ended it for us.” Obi-Wan whispered.

She leaned in and hugged him. “…You can get through this Obi-Wan, I know you can. Also I’m looking forward to hearing Master Mace react.”



It was a calm morning on Coruscant.

People were milling around as they usually did. Making their lives as best they could, rebuilding while they could in this fragile peace that existed as wares that hadn’t been seen in years were suddenly coming through the traders.

In the Temple of the Jedi order there was a quiet sort of tranquility in existence even as Emergency Chancellor Amidala took office for the day.

And then a roar broke the tranquility. “YOU’RE WHAT!?”