This one time there was a Girl who was convinced beyond all reason that she could fly.
She was a very twitchy loner and was semi homeless and her only friend were seeemingly the addicts in the alleys and the squatter punks in abandoned buildings.
Everyone called her Eggs after her torn up food council t shirt recomening 2 servings of eggs daily. She loved that shirt so much that if you tried to tell her chickens cant fly she’d just climb up the wall away from you.
Her conviction that she could fly seemed in part born of that she did posses a super human climbing ability. She could scurry up to the roof of any building in seconds. She would flutter up a featureless brick wall with an ease that seemed powered only by her own conviction that she was flying.
She was an un aerodynamic 5 foot 6 and bottom heavy 156 lbs. she would climb on top of roofs and chimneys and phone wires and balance up there teetering with a dumb luck more powerful than any practiced skill, testing the air and flapping very human arms, neither strong nor skinny, threatening to launch herself if she ever found the wind she was waiting for.
The other half of her conviction that she could fly was in that she had jumped off a hundred buildings and not died once. Her record observed flight was a leap off a 14 story building. It took her 42 seconds to hit the ground as she hit everything possible on the way down ricocheting off phone wires and clothes lines, winged by the edges and ledges, deflecting off a fire escape with mortally perilous CLANG and propelling herself forward and sometimes upwards by randomly pinwheeling her limbs. Her flight ended with her 14 feet up a small tree covered in scratches and bruises but absurdly unharmed otherwise.
She refused to come down claiming that flight in the city is exhausting and any one with a 5 foot 8 wingspan would get mangled trying to fly in this cluttered narrow street city.
No one worried even tho she had broken both arms and wrists and her left ankle leaping off buildings in the past 3 years shed been arround. She healed fast everytime and left the hospital by the window.
No one noticed when she disappeared from the tree two hours later.
Another reason that all her crazy gutter friends let her believe she could fly was that no one gad ever seen her touch the ground. She never wore shoes cuz she needed her toes to grip. She was always in a tree or up a pole or on the roof or on top the fridge.
She was only ever in her eggs t shirt and some thread bare red jeggings and socks with no toes and nuthing in her pockets for very long cuz she refused to take on any additional weight. She was first to explain that her ability to fly was very unlikely so she had to keep light as possible.
This disqualified her from ever being recruited as a cat burgler (or egg burgler…) certainly she delighted in using her imagined power of flight to break in to homes and buisinesses every night! She never took anything but mouthfulls of food, tho she would watch people sleep and sometimes try on their clothes. She’d never been arrested becuz any time shed been discovered shed climb on top their furniture and flap her imagined wings at them and puff her chest out and the dive out 3rd 4rth 7th or even 14th story windows, tummble away raising noise from everything on her way, and never quite making it all the way to the ground.
The reason she’d escaped every time was that she was so absurd, so obvious bruised and mangled from so many impossible flights, and all the while kept a sweet innocent personality as if she believed herself a giant sparrow who’d flown in an open window and gotten trapped in your house because of your own negligence to leave windows open.
That was Eggs the Girl who was convinced beyond all reason that she could FLY.
Mostly harmless, kind of cute sweet and funny, and if nothing else she was possibly the luckiest nut on the roof.
Everyone let her get away with everything including beleiving that she flew because we all wished it was true. She was like a fairy tale super hero but real and we could say we knew her. Several boys and even a couple of girls whose houses she had broken in to had crushes on her and were always poking arround trying to find her.
In the winter she’d steal coats and hoodies to wear for an hour while perched on a phone pole before ditching them to fly off to look for snacks.
Last fall when the first snow fell was when we lost her. The cold snap came so suddenly that and with ice rain that she didnt flutter far in to the city for a coat but took one off a roof in the near by housing project.
That night she was spotted perched on the phone lines anove the autobody shop strip ruining the recognizable 400$ jacket of a dealer named robin.
Robin got word and it was easy work to intimidate gutter punks in to tipping him off that Eggs might be in her winter residence, a sort of pigeon coop two punk kids had built for her on top an abandoned carpet factory near the train yard.
And robin found her up there at 9:45 pm hiding from the last of the ice rain. Without even thinking, which would have been too out of character for him, robin woke up the girl sleeping in his coat with repeated wacks with thin piece of lumber.
The coat absorbed the worst of blows but the Girl came to from a bent drywal screw chewing multiple gashes across her side.
She leaped out of the coat and threw it in robins face and kicked down the wall of her pigeon coop causing the roof to fall on robin.
He threw it off himself too tweaked up to care that he’d been punctured by a dozen nails in the colapse, and kicked her stupid forklift pallet house over and picked up a yard long splintered pine board with several twisted nails curled off the edge.
He swung at her and opened a deep blood spurting gash across her cheek.
Eggs scrambled up on the ledge of the factory wall. Robin went to hit her again but found himself too slow, just mow realising he had an 8 foot 2x4 stabbed in to his foot with seversl long rusty nails.
Eggs sneered at hom and squawked, scratched the ground defiantly with her foot, spread her imaginary wings to their 5 foot eight grandure, fluttered her long fingers, and dove off the side of the factory plummeting 100 feet down to the train tracks with nothing at all to break her fall.
No one has seen or heard of Eggs in months. A bunch of punks talked big about throwing robin off a roof under a train but hes still alive, still a busy dealer on his block, the only satisfaction is his gangeroys limb that he seems proud of.
Eggs dropped 100 feet right in to a speeding junk train pulling 200 gondolas of twisted scrap steel. Pessimists might say she was torn to bits and any identifiable scrap of her went in the furnace, her soul now diluted amongst one million tons of rebar. No part of her or her 3 items of clothes or anything was ever found.
Us fools who cant bear to part with our folk hero can only believe the ranting of the subhuman scum who chased her off a building.
Robin never killed anyone before and was stirred up. He pulled the nails put his leg and collapsed on the edge of the roof in time to see Eggs still falling.. Still falling tho she should have been under the train by now.
She was falling horizontally at 60mph riding the air cone above the friegt train, surfing 50 feet above it on the hoodie shed had been half wearing in her sleep.
She drifted down 40 feet, 30 feet, 20, now half a mile away. She shook her arm out the hoodie and eggs suddenly shot up and to the right and was flung in to the recesed trucker highway as the train crossed over it.
Now almost a mile away robin claims she bounced off an 18 wheeler hauling chicken remnants to the rendering plant, she bounced twice off the roof of the truck doing twice her speed and was thrown backwards and forwards at the same time, launched over the big green sign advising the turn off to the harbor, and seemed to soar above traffic for 2ooo feet before the road turned and eggs just cleared the top of a billbord advertising discount airlines, now because of the curve of the highway she was somehow 80 feet in the air again.
She disapeared behind the billbord flapping her arms the entire time and aimed more or less out over the container ships towards the ocean.
A gaggle of local squatter punks search her alleged flight path as best we could allthogh it meant searchin train tracks and a recessed truck highway and a container ship yard with mostly unhelpful disbelieving security guards.
Regardless of if she has the power of flight she is certainly impossibly lucky at falling and has walked away from falls twice that high before.
I suspect she might have gone south for winter. Keep an eye on ledges roofs awnings and thick phone wires. Leave brightly colored food in open windows and try to catch her long enuff to convince her to treat her wounds.
Tho money is tight this winter i can guarantee that any information on her whereabouts will be rewarded with free Eggs .