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vimeo

Klaine - Never Been Kissed - French audio (with English Translation)

>Other Episodes<


Staircase scene & Teenage Dream :

K : Oh, excuse me? Hi! Can I ask you a question? I’m new here.

B : My name’s Blaine.

K : Kurt.
What exactly is going on?

B : The Warblers. Sometimes they perform in the senior commons.
It usually shuts down the whole school.

K : Wait… Do you mean that here, being a singer is cool?

B : Yeah! The Warblers are like rock stars.
Follow me. I know a shortcut.

(Hallway in slow motion)

K : Oh, I think I’m not really in my element.

B : Well, next time don’t forget your jacket, new kid.
It will suit you.
Now if you’ll excuse me…

Teenage Dream!

B : Awesome! It was excellent!


Coffee Scene

B : Latte?

K : Thank you very much.

B : This is Wes and David.

K : It’s very nice for you to invite me for coffee before you beat me up for spying.

W : We are not going to beat you up.

D : You were such a bad spy, we thought it touching.

B : Which made me think that spying on us wasn’t really the reason you came.

K : Um… Can I ask you guys a question?
Are you guys all gay?

B : Uh, no. Well I am, but these two have girlfriends.

D : This is not a gay school. We just have a zero-tolerance harassment policy.

W : Everybody gets treated the same way, whether they’re gay or not. It’s pretty simple.

B : Would you guys excuse us?

W : Yeah. See you later, Kurt.

B: I  bet you’re having trouble at school.

K : I’m the only person out of the closet at my school.
And I try to stay strong about it, but there’s this beast who decided to make my life a living hell.
And nobody seems to notice.

B : I know how you feel.
I got harassed at my old school, and it really… It drove me crazy.
I even complained to my teachers, and they were sympathetic and all, but you could just tell that nobody really cared.
It was, like, “Hey, if you’re gay, your life’s just gonna be difficult. Sorry. Nothing we can do about it.”
So I left, and I came here. That’s my story.
So you have two options.
I’d love to tell you to just enroll here, but the tuition is expensive and I know that not everybody can afford it.
Or you can refuse to be the victim. Prejudice is just ignorance, Kurt,
And now you have a chance to teach him.

K : How?

B : Confront him. You have to talk to him.
I ran… Kurt. I didn’t stand up. I let bullies chase me away, and I can assure you that it’s something that I regret.

(Bell ring!)


Karofky scene

K : Thanks again for coming.

B : Don’t worry about it.
Just let me do the talking.

K : There he is.

B : I’m protecting you.
Excuse me?

DK : How are you ladies?
This your boyfriend, Kurt?

B : Kurt and I would like to talk to you about something.

DK : I gotta go to class.

B : Kurt told me what you did.

DK : Oh yeah, what did I do?

K : You kissed me.

DK : I don’t know what you’re talking about.

B : It seems like you’re a little confused, and that’s totally normal.
This is a very hard thing to come to terms with, and you should know that you’re not alone.

DK : Don’t mess with me.

K : You! Stop doing this!

B : Well, he’s not coming out anytime soon.
What’s going on? Why are you so upset?

K :  Because up until yesterday, I had never been kissed.
And that’s not how I pictured it.

B : Come on. I’ll buy you lunch.

Klaine - The Purple Piano Project - French audio (with English Translation)

Look out for a jibe at Blaine’s eyebrows!

>Other Scenes<

Lima Bean Scene :

B : You’re quiet.

K : No. I’m being passive-aggressive. You promised me yesterday that you would make your decision today. And you’re sitting here, in front of me, cute as ever, but you didn’t give up your uniform.

B : I can’t walk out on the Warblers. They are my friends.

K : Okay, okay, I’ll bother you one last time with this and then we’ll talk about your eyebrows waxing! (LOL, poor french!Blaine)

B : Okay.

K : If you stay at Dalton Academy, I’ll have to consider you as an opponent.

B : You’re right.

K : And I’m not sure that our budding love will survive that ordeal.

B : If I understand correctly, you want me to change high schools because you're afraid that I’m going to beat you at Sectionals.

K : No, I’m afraid that I’m going to beat you. And because you’re a sore loser, I already know how you’re going to react.

Actually that’s not really the problem. We’re going to see each other so little. I’d like my last year to be exceptional, and the only way for that to happen would be to spend every minute of every day with you.

vimeo

Klaine - Original Song - French audio (with English Translation)


>Other Episodes<


Misery Scene :


*Misery*

B : Dear Regionals judges, that was just a little preview!

Jeff : Awesome!

B : (to Kurt) Only you can make a canary cage cover look this classy.

K : Canaries hate cold weather. Pavarotti isn’t an exception.

B : What did you think of the song?

K : Can I be really honest and forward with you? What I have to tell you comes from my heart. Don’t be offended! Look, you’re mind-blowing, Blaine. Your solos are to die for. But they’re numerous.

B : The council decides who sings the solos.

Aren’t you a little jealous?

K : A little, no. I’m really jealous. Sometimes I feel like instead of being called the Warblers, we should be called “Blaine and his birds” (NB : Actually, he says ‘piou piou’, like the sounds birds make. I have no idea how to translate that.)


Blackbird Scene :


B : Please! I am just suggesting that instead of wearing blue ties and a jacket with red piping, we wear jackets with red ties and a jacket with blue piping.

Trent : This isn’t on today’s agenda! (NB : I like the kangaroo court better!)

B : Kurt, what’s going on?

K : It’s Pavarotti. Pavarotti is dead. I think he had a heart attack.

B : No way… I’m sorry.

K : I know it’s really stupid to be upset over a bird’s death but… He was a role model for me (NB : Oh God!). He was so lively and he really loved to sing. He was my friend. I know that today we planned to rehearse the back up singing behind Blaine who will sing all the solos in the medley of P!nk songs, but I’d like to sing a song in honor of Pavarotti.

*Blackbird*

K : Thank you.


Set List Talk Scene :


Thad : You know, I think Blaine’s version is way better than the original.

David : But this song isn’t suited to his range.

Trent : Nonsense! (NB : again, I prefer 'How dare you’)

B : That’s enough. I’m getting fed up with this. 

T :  We should let you pick the song that you want to sing anyway.

B : No, I’m tired of being the Warblers’ only star. David, please write down everything I’m about to say in the official minutes. We are going to lose at Regionals.

Wablers : That’s not true! (NB : Yes it is.)

B : I am incredibly grateful for your trust and for giving me every solo this year. But, from what Kurt has told me about New Directions, I know I won’t be able to beat them on my own. Which is why I propose not to sing a solo at regionals but to sing a duet.

Warblers : A duet?

B : I’m not the only talented one in this group.

D : Why don’t we just add a kazoo.

B : Calm down please. This week we lost a friend. Death silenced Pavarotti’s voice and I don’t want to silence anyone else’s voices in this group. I think Pavarotti would roll over in his tiny little grave.

K : The placement of which has yet to be determined.

Wes : All right, let’s vote. Who’s in favor of Blaine’s proposal of singing a duet at Regionals?

K : Can I audition? 

B : No. There won’t be any auditions. I want to sing the duet with Kurt.

K : That’s ridiculous. There are so many beautiful voices here. I’m not the only one who deserves this honor.

B : Who’s in favor of Kurt singing a duet with me?

W : Alright!

T : Congratulations, Kurt.

Someone : Bravo, you deserve it.


The Kiss Scene :


B : What are you doing?

K : I’m decorating Pavarotti’s casket.

B : Finish up. I’ve found the perfect song, we should rehearse.

K : Which one?

B : “Candles” by Hey Monday. (NB : God what a terrible accent!)

K : I’m impressed. You’re changing your repertory (NB : I have no idea if this means the same in english. Kurt means that Blaine changes his music style preference).

B : Well, I just wanted something that touch people’s heart a bit more (NB : Be more cheesy, french translator).

K : Why did you pick me to sing with you?

B : There is a really magical moment… When all of the sudden you say to yourself “Oh, it’s him, he’s here. He’s the one I’ve been looking for forever.” When I heard you sing Blackbird the other day, it was obvious to me. It could be only you. You moved me so much, Kurt. And this duet gives me a good excuse to spend time with you.

*KISS OF THE CENTURY*

+ French porn noises :D

B : We have to work, we have to be serious.

K : It’s already serious! (NB : Well well Kurt… After only one kiss? :D)


Backstage Scene :


K : Has anyone ever died on stage?

B : Do you have stage fright?

K : Don’t laugh at me. This is the first time I’m performing at a competition as a soloist. I had nightmares about it. I dreamt that I was forgetting the lyrics or that no sound was coming out when I sang. Go on, make fun of me.

B : I find it touching. I find you touching and adorable. And the only ones dying tonight are the audience of that room, because the two of us are going to nail them to the spot. Come on, let’s go.

Announcer : Here is the Dalton Academy for Westerville, The Warblers!!


Regionals :


*Candles/RYG*

(NB : Those laughs are frightening)

*New Directions performance*

K : No way! They’re doing original songs!

*…*

Announcer : And now, to announce our winner, Lieutenant Governor Stevens’ wife, Carla Turlington-Stevens!

Crazy woman : My dear husband spend all his time insulting me and I’ve started drinking booze at lunch. I’m bored so let’s just see who are the winners. The New Directions! You’re going to Nationals in New York!

Tina : Awesome!!


Pavarotti’s funeral Scene :


K : Farewell, sweet prince.

B : I’m really sorry, Kurt. I know how upset you are. It reminds you of your mom’s funeral, doesn’t it?

K : The casket was bigger, but yes. There’s something else. I’m really disappointed that we didn’t win at Regionals.

B : There aren’t any competitions anymore but we’ll still get to perform in public. All the nursing homes ask for us. And do you have any idea of how many there are in Ohio? Tons! (NB : Noooo, they cut the Gap joke!)

K : That’s true. You’re right. But I wanted to win.

B : You did win. So did I. We were brought closer together thanks to that. Isn’t that worth all the trophies in the world? (NB : Oh Blaine, yes it is.)

vimeo

Klaine - Blame It On The Alcohol - French audio (with English Translation)


>Other Episodes<


Rachel Berry House Party Train Wreck Extravaganza Scene :

R : Welcome!
Kurt. Blaine.
I wasn’t expecting to see you guys.

F : Actually Kurt’s been blackmailing me ever since he saw my browser history.
He insisted on coming.

B : Tonight, we forget about the competition, Rachel.
I’m not a Warbler. I’m just Blaine.
I’m not even wearing my uniform.

K : So, this is your family’s Oscar Room.

R : Yes. My dads transformed our ordinary basement for our big annual Oscar parties.

B : Is that a stage?

R : I like to give some impromptu performances for our neighbors sometimes.
(to Quinn) Hey, how are you? Having fun?

Q : Yeah. Awesome party.

K : (to Blaine) So, what do you think?

R : Uh, okay. Let’s go over the rules together.
Everybody gets two drink tickets to keep the party from getting out of hand.

B : Thanks.

R : We’re serving sparkling wine today.
It’s our specialty drink.

B : Nice…

R : That’s actually all that we have.
Brittany! Remember the rules. No sitting on anything!
Okay, everybody. Cheers!

Artie : It was a great party, Rachel.

Mike : We got to run.

Tina : Yeah, dinner reservations.

R : But, we haven’t even played ‘Guess Who?’ yet.
But… Why… Why is everybody leaving?

Puck : Because your party sucks!

R : But, I didn’t even had time to drink yet!
How am I supposed to be Joni Mitchell if I don’t know how to have fun?

P : Look, if you want everyone to stay, you have to let me break into your fathers’ liquor cabinet.
No one’s gonna get buzzed off two glasses of sparkling wine!
I’ll replace everything before they get home.

R  :  Let’s turn the sound up!

*Like a G6 playing*

Everyone : Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!

R : It tastes like pig! It tastes like pig! (NB : I Always thought she said 'It tastes like pink'… I don’t know if I’m the one who got it wrong, or if the translators did…)

K : Are you not drinking alcohol?

F : Well no. Designated driver.
Are you not drinking?

K : I’m still trying to impress Blaine. Can’t get too loose.
He doesn’t seem to have the same concern.

B : Hey! It is so cool that you and Kurt are brothers. Right? Like, same family! Wow!
You’re so tall!

K : You having fun, Blaine?

B : Yeah. This is the best party of my life!

R : Finny. Dance with me.
We looked good together, didn’t we? Tell me that all of that wasn’t a dream…
I would do anything for you. Anything!

F : Okay, Rachel. Since this is your first time drinking, I’m going to break it down for you.
Guys and girls fall into different types when they get drunk.
Example number 1 :  Santana, the weepy, hysterical drunk girl.

Santana : You like her more than me.
She’s blonde, well-dressed and gorgeous!
Admit it. Just admit it!
Kiss me!

F : Lauren Zizes and Quinn, the anger girl drunks.

Quinn : You completely destroyed my body! I used to have abs!

Lauren : Who told you to style your hair like that? Geronimo?

Puck : Calm down!

F : Brittany, also known as the drunk girl who turns into a stripper.

Artie : Makin’ it rain! Whoo!
That’s my girlfriend! I love you, baby.

F :  Mercedes and Tina, the happy girl drunks.

F : And then we come around full circle. Which leaves us with you, Rachel.
And right now, you’re being the needy girl drunk.
Always hanging all over me, being overly nice. It’s not cool.

R : What kind of girl is this?
Let’s play spin the bottle!
Who wants to play spin the bottle?
Spin the bottle.

*Spin the bottle*


B : Spin the bottle!

Sam : (to Brit) Come here!

Santana : You know what? A reminder.
I owns that trouty mouth.
Those Aerosmith lips belong to me. So…

*Sam/Brit Kiss*

Santana : Hey, that’s enough!
Hey, honeys, we’re not here to clean up our teeths. No me gusta!

R : Whoo! Party! It’s my turn! My turn!

K : Oh, oh, oh!
This is outstanding!

R : Blaine Warbler, I’m going to make you take off the ground!

*Rachel/Blaine Kiss*

New Directions : With tongue!!
More! More! More! More!

K : Okay, I think we understood!

R :  Your lips… They taste delicious!

Someone : Oh, that was crazy!

R : I think I just found a new duet partner!

*
Don’t You Want Me!

Brit : I must look terrible!

Lauren : Come on here!

Santana : I want you! I want you! (NB : She says 'vous’, which means she’s talking about both of them! A little threesome Santana? :D)
*

Morning after, Kurt’s Room Scene :

Burt : Hey, Kurt, come give me a hand with these eggs.

K : I’ll be down in a minute!

Burt : What the hell is a shirred egg? Is that the same thing as a scrambled egg?
Hey, what’s going on? Today was the day you were going to teach me all about brunch.

K : I’ll be down in a sec.

B : Oh, where am I? Oh, my head!

Burt : Oh. Uh, I’m sorry. Excuse Me…


Lima Bean Argument Scene :

B : Nooo! I didn’t drink that much.

K : Are you kidding? You spent the entire night licking Rachel Berry’s face.
I don’t think you can sink to a lower level!

B : Oh, my God. Speak of the devil.

Barista : Two medium coffees.

B : Hi, Rachel!
Kurt and I were just talking about you.

R : You’re such a cutie pie with your blazer and your little pants.
So… I have a question for you. I wanted to know…

K : Is she drunk?

B: Shh!
(To Rachel) Uh, yeah. Uh-huh. All right, see you soon then. Yeah, bye.
Rachel wants me to go out with her.

K : Oh, I can’t believe it! She’s got a crush on you!
Wait a minute… Why’d you say yes? She’s going to believe it’s real.

B : Yeah… So what?

K : You can’t be serious.

B : When we kissed, it was cool.

K : It was cool because you were drunk.

B : What’s the harm in going on one innocent little date?

K : You’re gay Blaine!

B : Yeah… I thought I was, but… I’ve never even had a boyfriend before.
Isn’t this the time you’re supposed to… try stuff?

K : I can’t believe that I’m hearing this right now.

B : Maybe I’m bi. I don’t know.

K : Bisexual’s a term that gay guys in high school use when they want to hold hands with girls and feel like a normal person for a change.

B : Wait, wait, wait.
Why are you so angry?

K : You’re my mentor! (NB : Oh god…)
I admire how proud you are of who you are.
I know what it’s like to be in the closet, and here you are going back in!

B : I’m really sorry if this hurts your feelings or your pride or whatever.
But however confusing it might be for you, it’s actually a lot more confusing for me.
You’re 100% sure who you are. That’s fantastic!
Well… maybe we all can’t have your luck.

K : Yeah, I have… I’ve had a lot of luck, Blaine.
I was really lucky to be chased out of high school by a bully who threatened to kill me.

B : And why did he do that?

K : Because he didn’t stand who I was.

B : Sort of exactly what you’re doing right now. Isn’t it?
I am… I’m searching (myself), okay?
All I can tell you is that I’m trying to figure out who I am.
And for you, of all people, to criticize me for that…
It’s making me doubt who you really are.
I’ll see you.
I’d say “bye”, but it might be a bit too heterosexual for you!


Burt and Kurt’s Kitchen Scene :

K : The secret about souffle is the whites.
If you get yolk in it or you don’t let it stiffen properly then you might as well be making pancakes.

B : Understood. You think the one we made is ready yet?

K : I hope so.

B : All right, let’s check it out.
Here we go.
Ta-da.

K : You didn’t leave enough room to let it rise.

B : Hey, I’m sorry, but you’re being a bit too hard on me.
I would’ve been happy with you teaching me how to make toast.

K :  I’m sorry, Dad, I know this is supposed to be bonding time, but…
It’s Blaine. He’s interested… in Rachel.

B : What? How is that possible? I thought he was gay.

K : Oh, he is, he is.
He’s just… experimenting.

B : Yeah. He’s not the only one.

K : What does that mean?

B : I’d prefer you ask me before you have someone sleep over.

K : We kept our clothes on the whole time we slept!
Blaine was too drunk to drive, so I let brought him here.
I was trying to be responsible.

B : Are you kidding me? You are drinking now?

K : No! Finn and I didn’t.
If that’s what you’re worried about.

B : No. I’m worried about you being inappropriate in my house.

K : And if Puckerman had a sleepover with Finn, would you find that inappropriate?

B : That’s different.

K : Because they wouldn’t have sex?

B : No, because I would never allow Finn to have a girl sleep over in his bed, in my house!

K : But would it make you uncomfortable if he did?

B : Hey, when have I been uncomfortable with you being gay?

K : So it’s not being gay that upsets you, it’s just me acting on it.

B : I don’t know what two guys can do when they’re together.
I sat through that whole Brokeback Mountain. From what I gather, something got out of hand in the tent.

K : What do you want from me here, Dad?

B : I want you to apologize for being inappropriate and promise me you’ll never do it again.

K : Fine. I’m sorry. I won’t spend the night with anyone that might be gay without asking you first.

B : Thank you.

K : But maybe you could step outside your comfort zone and educate yourself, so if I have any questions, I could go to my dad, like any straight son could.


Lima Bean Ending Scene :

R : Are you sure he comes here at 3:30?

K : Precisely. For his post-rehearsal coffee.

R : I really want to kiss him!

K : I’ve got a bad feeling about this, Rachel. I don’t mean to lose, but I don’t want you to get hurt, either.
There’s no victory in this for me anyway.

R : Who cares about you?
I might get a new boyfriend who is vocally in my level and who can give me vaguely Eurasian-looking children.

K : There he is.
Handsome as ever.

R : Okay. Wish me luck.

B : Hey, Rachel. How are you?

*Rachel/Blaine Kiss*

B : Yeah. I’m gay. I’m 100% gay.
Thank you so much for clearing that up for me, Rachel!
Can you save my space in line, please? I got to go to the restroom.

K : That was hard, wasn’t it?

R : Are you kidding?
That was fabulous! I am speechless.
I just had a relationship with a guy who turned out to be gay!
That is songwriting gold!
Okay. I have to go compose. But thank you so much! Thank you!

vimeo

Klaine - The Substitute (Breadstix Scene) - French audio (with English Translation)


>Other Episodes<


K : I’m just saying, hammered people who get married by an Elvis impersonator…
It’s more revolting than two gay guys getting hitched.

B : For that matter, if marriage is so sacred, they should just outlaw divorce.

K : You’re right!

B : (to Mercedes) What do you think?

M : Oh, about homosexuals in the army?

K : No, we’re talking about prop 8.

M : I’m for it!

K :  No, against it.

M : I’m against it!
I’m sorry, guys, but all your stories…

B : Don’t apologize!
We should talk about stuff that you’re interested in!

K : Let’s play a little game.
On the count of three, name your favorite 2010 Vogue cover.
Ready? One, two, three…

B&K : Marion Cotillard.

B : Yes! Amazing!

K : Yes, I knew it!

B : She’s tremendous! Tremendous!

K : Tremendous!

(Mercedes’ day-dream)

B&K : Gay! Gay! Gay. Gay, gay, gay!

K :  Oh my god, a doll’s purse fell out of my mouth!

B : That’s so gay!

K : How did that get in there?

(…)

K : Mercedes?

B : I was just talking about college football teams.
I’m a big sports fan!

K : Way to break the stereotype!

M : (to the waitress) Excuse me. I know it’s not on your menu, but I was wondering if you guys had…

Waitress : You want some tots? You’re from McKinley.

M : (to K&B) So, what were you talking about?

K : Who read Patti Lupone’s memory book?

B : …
I’m messing with you. Of course I read it!.

K : You scared me you know! You, missing the autobiography of this great performer…?

Klaine - Asian F - French audio (with English Translation)

>Other Scenes<

Flower Scene :

K : The cast list goes up on Friday. Are you nervous?

B : A little. But I’m trying not to think about it.

K : Don’t worry. My mole in the casting office says that there’s only one actor they’re considering for the role of Tony. And his initials are B.A.

B : Kurt! They’re gorgeous. Why flowers?

K : You rocked your audition, Blaine. If anyone else got Tony, including me, the wrath of Stephen Sondheim would fall upon McKinley like an invasion of grasshoppers in Broadway.

This is to celebrate the victory. Yours. 

B : You always say white when I think you’re going to say black. (Never heard this idiom before. I definitely like zig and zag better.)

And that’s what I love about you. Thank you.

K : You’re welcome.

vimeo

Klaine - Special Education - French audio (with English Translation)


>Other Episodes<


Warbler Council Scene :


W : And now let’s welcome the newest member of the Warblers, Kurt Hummel.

K : Thank you. Thank you!

W : It’s time to introduce him to our famous mascot and its beautiful feathers.

B : Kurt, meet Pavarotti.

W : This bird is a member of an unbroken line of canaries who have been at this school since 1891.
Your mission is to watch over him so he can live to carry on our choir’s traditions.
Protect him. That bird is your voice.

K :  I’ll bring him to work with me.
On weekends I volunteer at a stray cat rescue. It’s at the bottom of a coal mine.
That was a joke. I don’t work at a coal mine.

W : Let the council come to order.
Today we discuss the set list for the competition.

K : The council?

B : We don’t have a director.
Every year, we elect three members to lead the group.
But we all can give our opinions.

K : Oh, fantastic. I have a lot of ideas.
Dear friends, if I may?
I can’t deny that the warblers’ arrangement are absolutely gorgeous.
But I think that, this year, our set list  should have a little more panache.
I think we should open with “Rio” by Duran Duran.

D : The council is responsible for song selection.

W : We appreciate your enthusiasm, Kurt.
It’ll come in handy the day you’re sitting behind this desk.
Alright, I propose we do our entire set at sectionals in eight-part harmony.


Staircase Scene :

B : Kurt, wait up!
I saw that Glee club was hard for you today, seeing all your ideas got shot down.

K : Let’s just say that it’s a different ambiance.
Not better or worse, just something I’ll have to get used to.

B : We’re aware of this difference. And we have the habit to encourage students who make efforts.
So, we would like to invite you to audition for a solo.

K : For sectionals?

B :  Yeah, for sectionals.
Choose a good song!


Rachel Scene + Don’t Cry for Me Argentina :

K  : Hi, Rachel.
I’ve been looking for you.

R : Don’t bother spying. Because the only solos that I’m singing at sectionals are in my mind.

K : Actually, I was hoping you could lend me a helping hand.
I’ve been sitting in my car for over an hour waiting for Karofsky to go eat a hotdog.
I’ve been invited to audition for a solo.

R : Why should I help you? You’re part of our competition now.

K : Because even though we hate each other, we’ve had our moments.
And I could use your knowledge, especially because you rock when it comes to ballads.
You are as talented as you have an emasculating personality.

R : Considering that this might be my only chance to sing for a while, I’ll give you a couple of tips.
So, what song did you have in mind?

K : Celine Dion’s classic “My heart will go on.”

R : No, certainly not.

K : No?

R : You need much more personal song than that.
A song that touches you.
Do you ever fantasize about your own funeral?

K :  No.

R : I do.
Finn throwing himself into the grave next to me, and all of my friends’ heartfelt speeches and their regrets.

K : You’re insane.

R : I know that no one in the Glee club likes me.
So I have the right to fantasize about them finally realizing how amazing I was, but it being too late!
And there’s only one song that expresses those feelings.
I’m sure that it’s in here somewhere.

K : Oh…
 
*Don’t cry for me Argentina*


Audition Results Scene :

K : So how many times have you guys auditioned?

Nick : Three times.

Jeff : Six times.

B : Okay. Nick, Jeff, congrats, you’re moving on.

Nick&Jeff : Awesome! Thank you! Great!

B : Congratulations.

K : Any advice, wise man?

B : Try not to be that impetuous.

K : I didn’t realize that being vivacious was  frowned upon.

B : I don’t know how it worked at your old high-school, but you noticed that we all wear uniforms around here?
For us, what matters is being part of the team.

K : I’m just used to having to scream to get noticed.

B : You’re not going to make it as a Warbler if all you care about is getting noticed.

K : You’re right, I’m sorry.

B : I’m aware of the fact that it’s going to take some time for you to get used to it, but you’ll find your place soon enough.
I promise.


Pavarotti Scene :

B : I got your text. Something’s wrong?

K : It’s Pavarotti. I think he’s sick.
I’ve been taking as good care of him as I can, but he won’t sing anymore and he’s losing all his feathers.

B : Oh, he’s just molting. He’s growing a new coat of feathers,  and it takes all of his energy.
But don’t worry about him. He’s got food, water, he seems to like his cage.
Just give it a little while. He’ll be singing again in no time.
Don’t forget. We have Practice tonight at 5:00.
Regionals, here we come!

vimeo

Klaine - Silly Love Songs - French audio (with English Translation)


>Other Episodes<


Lima Bean Scene 1 (Puppy Love!):

K : I like classy things, and for Valentine’s Day I only tumble on tacky stuff.
Really, admit that this is stupid.

B : No, they symbolize first love!
I think it’s really cute.

Puppy : I love you!

K :  And it talks too!

B : It’s adorable!

K : This holiday is a simple excuse to sell, it’s typical in our consumerist society.

B : Not at all. People have been celebrating Valentine’s Day for centuries.
And call me a hopeless romantic, but it’s my favorite holiday.

K : Oh, really?

B : I like the idea of officially having a day where you’re encouraged to open your heart, and say to somebody “I’m in love with you.”
And this year, I really want to jump in head first, so I’d like your opinion on this.
Well, there’s this guy that I find… Irresistible. I’ve only known him for a little while, but I want him to know that my feelings are changing into… Love.
So what do you think? Is it to much to declare (my love) in song for Valentine’s Day?

K : Not at all.

Barista : What can I get you?

B : Uh, a decaf cappuccino, and a grande sugar-free mocha, and one of those Cupid cookies that we’ll split.

K : You know my favorite coffee?

B : Well, yes. Does it surprise you?

Barista : That’ll be $8.40, please.

B : (to Kurt) Don’t even think about it. It’s on me.
(to the Barista) Keep the change.

K : (to the Barista) He’s going to make me like Valentine’s Day!


Council Scene :

B : Hey. What are you doing?

K : Nothing at all. I was just thinking about my weekend outfits.

B : Come with me. You’re going to want to see this.
I’ve called an exceptional meeting of the Warblers.

K : Oh, it sounds serious.

B : Not really. I just want to ask them a tiny little favor.

W: This meeting is called by our schoolmate Blaine Anderson. The floor is yours.

B : Esteemed council, I’ll be brief.
Simply put… I’m in love.

Warblers : Ooh! Congrats!

B : I’m not really comfortable when talking about my feelings. I prefer to express myself in song.
But I need your help. Which is why I’m asking to enlist the Warblers to help serenade the person my heart has chosen. (NB : It’s even more ridiculous in french)
Off-campus.

Warblers : What? What?! It’s not in the Warblers’ traditions!

B : I’m aware that my request is slightly unusual.

W : The Warblers haven’t performed in an informal setting since 1927, when the Spirit of St. Louis overshot the tarmac and plowed through the Warblers, who were enthusiastically performing “Welcome to Ohio, Lucky Lindy. ”

D : In my opinion, your request is inadmissible.

B : I firmly believe that our reticence to perform in public nearly cost us a trip to Regionals.
We have to pay attention not to become porcelain birds locked in a golden cage…

Thad : This is a provocation! (NB : Oh, how I miss the ‘You mock us, sir’.)

W : Gentlemen that’s enough! Silence!

K : May I please say something?
With respect, I believe Blaine’s comment is relevant.
The Warblers are so concerned with their image and traditions, that I often feel like we don’t take enough risks and we miss out on opportunities because of our fear of the unknown.
When I was on New Directions, we performed in front of all kinds of crowds, which were rarely rallying behind us.
I mean, mattress stores, shopping malls. I even had a cat thrown at me in a nursing home once.
But I admit that it gave us confidence. It kept us loose.

W :  Blaine, where and when would this serenade take place?

B : Tomorrow.  At the Mall.
I’d like to call the operation “The Warblers move into the attack”.

K : Why there?

B : My beloved works in a shop there. (NB : I’m not even kidding, that what he says… My beloved!)

W : All those in favor raise your hands?


Sleepover Scene :

K :  I was absolutely devastated.

R : Wait a second. Did he ever call your get-togethers dates?

K : Not in so many words.

M : Did he put the moves on?

K :  No, but we were always singing duets, and he was always smiling at me.
Oh my God, I made up the whole thing in my head, it’s obvious.

R : Well yeah…

M : Don’t worry, we’ve all been there.
At least I have. With you.

R : I know exactly what you mean.
But if Finn thinks that he’s gonna walk out of my life just like that, he’s wrong.
Tomorrow, I’m gonna go up to his kissing booth with a $100 bill and as he’s not gonna be able to make change, he’s gonna be forced to kiss me 100 times, and when his lips touch mine, I know he’s going to be mine.

M : We’re here to be give Kurt advice. Did you forget that?

R : No.

M : Are you are going to the Mall for the serenade?

K : Do you think I should go?

M : Yes! Go see you rival! See what this guy’s like.
You and Rachel are both so guy crazy.
Take me as an example! I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day, and I don’t make a drama out of it!
The three of us are divas. Look at our idols. Whitney, Barbra, Patti LuPone.
They all were single when the became stars. They put their pain and loneliness into their music.
People could relate to it. Everybody feels lonely sometimes.
They became legends by making the most of their wounds.

R : Why has this never occurred to me?

M : Sometimes you have to choose between love and your career.
I came to the conclusion that we all need to fly solo for a while.

K : It’s nice to be with girls. It’s a change.

R : Aw! Come on, move over.


Gap Attack Scene + WIGYA :

B : That’s him. The blonde one folding sweaters.

K : Hmm… I can see the appeal. That’s quite a mane.

B : His name is Jeremiah. If he and I got married someday, the shop would give me a 50% discount.
What am I doing? We haven’t even gone out to dinner!
We shouldn’t do this. This is crazy.

K : Come on. Courage, you don’t have to be afraid. You’re marvelous. He’s going to adore you.

* When I Get You Alone*


Jeremiah Scene :

B : (To Kurt) Was it too much? Yeah, it was way too much.
Jeremiah. How are you?

J : Really now, what came over you?

B : What?

J : I just got fired!
Who gave you the right to come bust a groove where somebody you barely know works?

B : Everybody liked it!

J : My boss didn’t. Neither did I.
No one here knows I’m gay!

K : Can I be honest?
Just seeing your hair, they probably suspect it.

J  : Blaine, let’s just be clear. You and I just got coffee twice. And that’s it.
I can’t date someone who isn’t even 18!


Lima Bean Scene 2 (I really care about you) :

B : Wherever we go, we have to see those ridiculous little hearts. I hate it.

K : What a change!

B : I don’t think I’ve ever felt that ridiculous in my life! Yet I’ve performed at theme parks!
You know, I regret making all this up in my head.

K : Can I ask you something? We’ve always been completely honest with each other.
You and I? We often hang out. We sing duets together. You know my favorite coffee.
Was I wrong thinking it meant something more?

B : What’s your point?

K :  I thought the guy that you wanted to ask out on Valentine’s Day was me.

B : Oh, wow. I wasn’t expecting this.
Look, Kurt… I don’t know what I’m doing.
I pretend like I do. I seem confidant when I sing, but I’ve never dated anyone.

K : Me neither.

B : It’s my turn to be honest with you Kurt.
I like you a lot. I really like you a lot. (NB : Oh god! The worst part is that in french, we don’t have a word to differentiate 'like’ and 'love’, it’s the same verb for both. For all I know, he could be saying “I love you a lot”).
But as you must have noticed at the Mall, I’m not very good with love stories.
I don’t want to screw our friendship up.

K : So we’re reenacting When Harry Met Sally, then.
But I get to play Meg Ryan.

B : Alright.
Don’t they date at the end?

K : (to the Barista) A grande sugar-free mocha and a decaf cappuccino for Billy Crystal!

B : Ah, you know my coffee order.

K : Dear, I know what we could do on Valentine’s Day.


Breadstix Scene + SLS :

K : Attention. Mic Testing.
One, two, three. One, two, three.
It’s working!
Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody!
For those of you Breadstix patrons who don’t know who I am yet, I’m Kurt Hummel, and welcome to my first ever Lonely Hearts Club dinner.
Whether you are single with hope, or madly in love, and are here because I forced you to come out and support me, thank you for being here and have a nice evening!
And to all the singles out there, this is our year.

*Silly Love Songs*

vimeo

Klaine - The Sue Sylvester Shuffle - French audio (with English Translation)


>Other Episodes<


Bills, Bills, Bills :

B : Who said we weren’t ready for Regionals?


Coffee Scene :

K : The decaf cappuccino?

B : That’s for me. Thank you very much.

R : The other one’s for me, thanks.

K : Careful it’s hot.

B : I don’t want to be a show-off, but you guys better get a move on for Regionals, because the number we just rehearsed is absolutely insane. It’s dangerous.

K : Yes. You’ll need protective gear because it’s going to hurt!
Hey, I’m kidding.

R : Well, it doesn’t make us laugh, especially with everything going on at McKinley right now.

M : Really, you don’t even realize… Here we are, sitting down to coffee with the star of the Warblers.
It’s a disaster at school, even our football players are at war against each other.

R : Yeah. It’s a shame.
Coach Beiste and Mr. Shue were so close to getting them reconciled.

K : Why hasn’t Finn told me anything about this? We live together!
I bring him a glass of warm milk to bed every night, in order to get him to accept to have lady-chats.

B :  Just a glass of warm milk? That’s it?

K : It’s delicious.

R : Finn’s too proud to confide.
He wants to come along as someone strong but I’m sure that all of this break his heart.
I hope he realizes that if he didn’t break up with me, he would feel a lot less lost.

K : Stop being delirious.

R : What I meant is that I wish there was something I could do for him.

M : The guys are really bummed. Everybody makes fun of them because they sing in the choir.
If only they could win the game… Life would be a lot easier for them.

B : All the players quit the team?

M : Only the Glee Club guys stayed.
But you can’t win a game with 5 players. Especially when one of them is in a wheelchair.

R : Yeah, their coach put up a sign-up sheet.
I think they’ll take anyone at this point.

B : The good news is you actually only need one more guy. (NB : I don’t know why they said that, I think the people who did the dubbing don’t know the rules to American Football at all…).
You don’t have to use the regulatory number of players on the field, as long as it’s only a couple guys short.
In any case, I hope they’ll find a solution. We’ll be there to cheer them on.

K : Oh, absolutely!
Blaine and I love football.
Well, Blaine loves football. I love wearing scarves.

vimeo

Klaine - Born This Way - French audio (with English Translation)


>Other Episodes<


Lima Bean Scene :


Mercedes : You haven’t asked us anything about our New York trip.

Tina : Is it because it’s too painful?

Kurt : Yes, something like that.

While the New Directions are preparing to perform at Nationals, the Warblers are preparing to perform at a nursing home in a industrial region in the suburbs.

But I’m proud of all of you.

T : We miss you so much, Kurt

M : Isn’t there any way you could come back to McKinley?

Blaine : That’s what I told him, I would be all for it if it wasn’t for Karofsky.

Santana : Wait, what did you just say?

B : Kurt has to be out of danger.

K : Please can we talk about something else?

S voiceover : That’s the solution.

Kurt’s the key to winning prom queen and getting Britt, not to mention that he would totally boost our chances at Nationals.

If I could bring Kurt back, I’d be a hero.

Even Quinn and Finn would vote for me.

And the key is Karofsky.

S : I’m going to the “tapette”. Um, to the toilet. (NB : Can’t really translate that, but “tapette” is quite a rude word for gay in french, so they play with the relative resemblance between “tapette” and “toilettes”).


Hummel/Karofsky meeting :


Burt : All of this seems great, but for me these are just words. And words aren’t going to protect Kurt.

Figgins : But the anti-bullying club that David started will.

The fact is, since the club began started their patrols, we haven’t had one incident.

(NB : OMG, that fake indian accent is horrible!)

Bu: Yeah, and if we took all the water out of the ocean, it would be completely dry.

If the bullying stopped it’s simply because the attacker stopped.

Paul : Mr. Hummel. Can I call you Burt?

Bu : Of course.

P : You remember how understanding I was about this when it all began.

I didn’t come to David’s defense. I believed your son.

Because the David I was seeing was not the kid I knew.

The kid I raised was a Cub Scout. He was kind, he was a good citizen.

I still don’t know what was going through his mind to become that violent, but I can tell you that the David I’m seeing now is my son, back again.

He is… He’s genuine. 

Bu : Do you have any idea how much stress this has caused my family?

My son had to leave his friends.

My wife and I spending money we don’t have to pay for another school because of your son. 

P : Burt, were you always so accepting of homosexuals? We’re the same age.

I remember what we used to say about the gays when we were younger.

It’s taken us some time to understand that we were wrong.

Why can’t you just allow David the few months he needed to figure it out?

Bu : Because he said he’s going to kill my son!

DK : I never actually meant that. It was just a figure of speech.

Bu : How is he supposed to know that?

Will : Words are important, David. (NB : Wise words, Will… That’s rich coming from you).

DK : Yes, I know.

You have to believe me. I feel really bad about what I said. Those words, especially.

That’s not me. Not anymore.

W : What do you think, Kurt?

K : I believe he realized what he did was wrong.

Bu : You’re only saying that because you want to be back in this school no matter what.

K : Can Dave and I speak to each other for a moment in private?

You can wait in the hall.

W : Let’s go. Come on.

K : Tell me what’s your angle here?

DK : I just want to make things right.

K : David, I know, remember? And I haven’t told anyone.

DK : Why? It would have made your life a lot easier.

K : I don’t believe that you should deny who you are, but it’s not my place to say it to other people.

But still, there’s one thing you owe me : the truth.

What’s going on with you?

DK : It was Santana’s idea.

She wants to be prom queen, so she figures if we get you back, it will get us lots of votes.

K : I’m both repulsed and impressed by the Lady Macbethian ways of that girl. A Latina Eve Harrington.

If you’re going to be gay, you must know who that is.

DK : I’m not a 100% sure that I am gay, okay?

So stop repeating that incessantly. 

K : I’m going to break it down to you. 

I have several options here.

I could tell everyone the truth about you…

DK :  I said I’m sorry and you said you wouldn’t say anything.

K : Hold on.

Or I can return here and marvel at your anti-bullying movement, which I fully believe in, and demand that you and I start a chapter of PFLAG here at McKinley.

Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.

You have things to learn, David. You don’t have to say it in public but you need to know some things.

DK : I’m going to get killed.

Bu : Keep an eye on your brother.

Finn : I’m never too far. (NB : Really Finn?)


Somewhere Only We Know Scene :


Puck : What’s going on? 

M : Brothers and sisters of the Glee club, it’s noon, which means… it’s official!

Sam : What’s official?

K : My transfer!

Kurt Hummel is back at McKinley!

Someone : What a star!

Tina : Hey you!

Brit : Oh I’m so happy!

K : Are we rehearsing for Nationals?

M : Not yet. There’s a reason we’re meeting here.

There’s some people that wanted to say good-bye to you, Kurt.

B : Kurt, Dalton’s going to miss you.

You were a amazing asset to the Warblers. You made us a better team.

I’m sad to see you go, but we all know this is what you really wanted.

I’ll still see you after school and on the weekends, but these guys behind me won’t, so they wanted to say good-bye.

Wes :  And thank you, Kurt.

*Somewhere Only We Know*

K : I’ll never say goodbye to you

Brit (to Blaine) : That was beautiful.

Oh Kurt.

M : I’m giving it back (the hat).

ND : Yes, it suits him better.

It’s cool that you’re here.

We love you!

vimeo

Klaine - Baby, It’s Cold Outside - French audio (with English Translation)


>Other Episodes<


B : Hey.

K : You scared me.

B : Perfect. Because I’m the school’s ghost, and I came here to tell you to stop studying immediately.

K : Hmm. Why the CD player?

B : You have to sing with me.
Well, rehearse with me.
I’m going to sing “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” in the King’s Island Christmas Show.

K : Hey, it’s a personal favorite.
Too bad they’d never let us sing it together.
I mean, as two… Two artists.

B : Mmm. So do you want to help me out?

K : I’d do anything to stop thinking about Charlemagne.

B : Very good, then.

*Baby It’s Cold Outside*

K : I think you’re ready.

B : Well, just so you know, you’ll always be much better than that girl I’m stuck with.

Shue & B : Hi.

K : Mr. Schuester!

Shue : Oh, good to see you, Kurt.
Someone special?

K : No, he’s just a friend. But the good news is I am in love with him, and he’s actually gay.
I call that progress.

Klaine - I Kissed A Girl - French audio (with English Translation)

>Other Scenes<

Perfect :

Finn : Blaine? Kurt?

B : Santana, in the car there’s a song that Kurt and I love to sing. And we want to sing it to you now.

S : While I’ve always dreamed of listening to two magical ponies serenading me, we’d get further by un-gelling Blaine’s mane than singing songs for little girls.

K : I know it’s hard. It was hard for me, too. But you will get through this.

B : If you stop being so defensive all the time.

S : I’m trying, but your hideous bow ties are provoking me.

Puck : Are we talking lady on lady or girl on girl? There’s a big difference.

Will : Puck, this is serious, alright?

Kurt, Blaine, go on, sing us your song.

*Perfect* [It’s too fast, isn’t it?]

ND : Bravo! That’s great!

Shue : Excellent!

ND : Congrats [lol, why?!]

(to Santana) Did you like it?

S : Thank you, everyone. Thank you, Finn, especially.

You know, I’m subscribed to shitty stuff, and this is just the icing on the cake.

Klaine - Michael (1) - French audio (with English Translation)

>Other Scenes<

Lima Bean Scene :

B : If I say Michael Jackson, what comes immediately to mind?

Artie : When I was one, my mom showed me the VHS tape of his Motown special. When he did his moonwalk across the stage for the first time in history, I babbled my first words: “So great”.

K : I owe the King of Pop a deep debt of gratitude. He was the first one to wear the sequined military jacket, before Kurt Hummel made it iconic.

Rachel : To tell you the truth, I’ve never really been a fan.

A : Really? In that case this is the last time I’m talking to you.

R : Well okay, he was a fabulous performer [literally she says “stage beast”, it’s a french expression], but I've never really understood who he truly was.

K : He was best friends with Liza Minnelli and Liz Taylor.

R : No, what I mean is that he never managed to thrill me like Barbra Streisand, Stephen Sondheim or Stephen Schwartz.

Santana : If my coffee was still scalding, I’d have thrown it in your face.

R : Since you’re all crazy about him, I think it’s a good idea to choose him for Regionals.

Seb : I don’t think that’s a good idea. Hi, Blaine. Hello, everyone.

K : You would think he lives here. Unbelievable! You’re always here!

A : Why isn’t it a good idea?

Seb : Because we chose him for Regionals. When I knew who you chose, it inspired me. I changed our set list and as the Warblers will go onstage first…

R : Can we know how you knew about it?

Seb : Blaine told me this morning. I just called him so he could tell me how to get a wine stain out of my blazer’s piping, and he would not stop going on about your project.

B : I hardly talked about it.

K : Do you call him often?

Seb : Oh, it’s you, Kurt. I didn’t recognize you. You are wearing boy clothes for once.

S : You, twink, it’s time that I show you my neighborhood’s hospitality.

Seb : Unless you want to join your family in prison, that’s probably a very bad idea. You see, my dad is nothing less than a state’s attorney. By the way, if you want a piñata delivered to your family, he could make sure it got to them.

R : Blaine, is he your friend?!

Seb : Just to be clear, I am captain of the Warblers now, so the kindness is over.

Michael (2) - French audio (with English Translation)

>Other Scenes<

Choir Room Scene :

Tina : There has to be some kind of show choir committee we can complain to.

B : I know it sucks, but it’s not the end of the world. You had your set list stolen the day of Sectionals, and you still won.

Artie : They can steal all of our songs, but my beloved Michael, that’s the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Puck : It bothers me to have this conversation with Blaine in the room. Clearly, once a Warbler, always a Warbler.

B : Uh, what? 

Puck : You told them what we were gonna do. You’re a chattering snitch. For me, from now on, he’s … [I can’t hear what he says with Finn talking at the same time]

Finn: New Directions means “a new direction”. [Well, it doesn’t make sense in english, but he translate it from English to French.]

After Vocal Adrenaline, the Warblers are the best Glee Club in Ohio. And because we’re participating for the last time in a championship [talk for yourself Finn], we have to do something. Instead of complaining, we should figure out how to beat them.

Shue : You took the words right out of my mouth. I’m not worried about your setlist. What I’m interested in is getting us in a fighter’s mindset to crush those guys.

So, this week’s theme is : What Would Michael Jackson Do?

Finn : He’d fight back. He’d say Regionals is ours, Michael is ours, and if they want it, they can pry it from our  white-gloved hands.

Artie : Exactly! In 1983, MTV refused to air his “Billie Jean”. What’d he do? He fought back. They aired it, and they manage to sell an additional ten million copies of the “Thriller” album.

Shue : That’s right.

B : I know what Michael would do. He would take it to the streets.

anonymous asked:

D'un coté, c'est drole de voir comment ils ont tournés les dialogues et tout mais d'un autre coté, ça perd tout son charme tu trouves pas? ou alors je suis juste frustrée de savoir qu'en fait c'est pas du tout ça l'original. sinon les voix françaises sont toujours aussi nulles !! merci pr la vidéo en tout cas !

Si, bien sûr! C'est hilarant, mais vraiment atroce! Je regarde seulement les scènes de Klaine. Il me serait impossible de regarder tout un épisode en français.

Je ne supporte pas les doublages français. Impossible pour moi de regarder quoique ce soit en français de toute façon, film ou série.

Heureusement ici tous les films au ciné sortent aussi en version original, donc je n'ai pas à subir les horribles voix françaises!